Need To Know 2001-11-30

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"[Net users] attend church more, join voluntary organisations more, are more likely to have friends they can rely on in times of troubles, read more books, and are not less trusting of other people." http://news.ft.com/ft/gx.cgi/ftc?pagename=View&c=Article&cid=FT3U04GAEUC ... we've also learnt to lie on registration forms better >> HARD NEWS << two true So what, exactly, went on with the latest "biggest ever" kiddy porn crackdown? Most of the media tut-tutted about the 10,000 "IPs" who downloaded porn, the cleverness of the National Crime Squad at detecting them, and the tragedy that only 129 of them were traced. And thank God, of course, for public-spirited Demon who agreed to let the police "image" its news server, and handed over the IP addresses of everyone accessing over 1500 newsgroups. Well, except that Demon now deny this ever occurred, understandable given that it'd be illegal under the DPA, and say that the police only had the same access as anyone else to USENET postings, and thus could only trace posters not readers. Normally we'd put this down to woeful tech reporting: in this case though, journalists were exercising the *other* skill they have - copying press releases verbatim. The National Crime Squad and its reps actively boasted that servers were imaged, and the source of that "10,000 reader's IPs" statistic is from the official statement on the matter. So what happened? Why did the NCS - including, at some points, the Det. Super. in charge of the investigation, insist on a story that Demon now deny? Ignorance of their own methods? A misguided attempt by Thus and NCS pointy-hairs to create a high-publicity paedophile investigative coup, when all that went on was a smart copper doing what anyone with a Demon account and a Perl script could pull off in a week? Or did Demon really pass on mass subscriber information to the NCS, assuming at the time that the NCS wouldn't be so dumb as to blab about how Thus'd happily hand over their subscribers' mass traffic data? Guess we'll never know. Unless, of course, you're a Demon subscriber and want to put in a complaint to the Information Commissioner to find out what *really* went on. Hint, hint. http://www.nationalcrimesquad.police.uk/Hot_off_the_press/2001/November/122.html - we know computers! we know NNTP! we know - facial recognition? http://www.guardian.co.uk/Archive/Article/0,4273,4309815,00.html - only 129 traceable? http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_1680000/1680762.stm - ah those bona fide, credit-card demanding newsgroups ... http://globalarchive.ft.com/globalarchive/article.html?id=011129000794 - while Demon apparently charges Mickey Mouse's credit card for a tenner a month Mr Gates is due in the UK this week, patting Blair's head, helping him find that Start button again, and charitably offering a few hits of the XP subscription-only crack-pipe. God help Bill, though, if gets collared by other more techy European politicians. Windows XP just trashed the hard drive of FRANCESCO COSSIGA, the 73-year ex-Presidente of Italy - and he's out for vendetta. As semi-retired politicians who do their own OS installs go, Cossiga is a tech support case from hell: professor of Law, ex-investigating magistrate, and since quitting the Presidency, a man with plenty of time and who no longer gives a shit. This is a man who idly tarried over details of St Thomas More's wishful dreams of a menage a trois - at a Vatican press conference. He says he's itching to take Microsoft to court. "In the tribunal, we will be able to enjoy ourselves. I'm almost hoping they won't be able to fix it!", he cackles. Worst of all for anyone hoping for a quick fight: he's a radio ham. Capos with callsigns: bad combination. http://www.pcworld.com/news/article/0,aid,73304,tk,dn112701X,00.asp - IANAXPOI, but.. http://www.ntk.net/2001/11/30/presidente.html - translation of I0FCG's rant courtesy bellissima Louise http://www.pir.org/main2/Francesco_Cossiga.html - you see how it all fits together now? (java) >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious world's first "behind the scenes" content management docusoap: http://www.yougov.com/news.jsp?news.id=10004523 ... Tony Blair *is* BIG BROTHER: http://www.ntk.net/2001/11/30/dohbigb.png ... new BBC news breakaway art movement - "you'll go blind!": http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/talking_point/newsid_1684000/1684474.stm ... most sociable and successful net users the BBC could find: http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_1674000/1674802.stm ENCOM bankruptcy due to attack by SLIMER from "Ghostbusters": http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/business/newsid_1684000/1684503.stm ... "Crisp, clear signals" illustrated by tube of PRINGLES: http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/wales/newsid_1669000/1669226.stm ... AOL shows " Power Of Digital Imaging" - with broken jpgs: http://webmaster.info.aol.com/index.cfm?article=500000000000036 http://webmaster.info.aol.com/index.cfm?article=500000000000041 ... humble holding page, "which will not ever be seen by the outside world" at last gets its big moment in the limelight: http://harkinstheatres.moviefone.com/ ... "YOU ARE NOT ALONE" whisper the scary shifting voices at http://www.sanonymous.org/ ... self-subverting TITLE tags - the "Dictionary of English Useage": http://www.lineone.net/dictionaryof/englishusage/ vs "Welcome To Russell Martin Language [Proofreading] Serrvices": http://www.russell-martin.com/english/homeENG2.htm ... GAMESPOT trip to Guilford hazy on definition of "villages with cathedrals": http://gamespot.com/gamespot/features/pc/btg_bw/ ... http://www.audiogalaxy.com/list/index.php?&styleID=195 lists BRYAN ADAMS as "Adult alternative", no doubt because he's from the *other* North American country... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful Hoping to emulate just some of the toe-curling embarrassment of that Buffy episode where they stumble across Giles singing in a bar, NTK's set of "Acoustic Cover Versions of Synth Pop Classics" has now joined the lineup at CHRISTMAS DORKBOT LONDON (from 7pm, Wed 2001-12-05, The Boxing Club/ Limehouse Town Hall, London E14, free). But we won't be on till later (around 9?) as we've also agreed to speak at IS SPIN DYING? IS THE INTERNET TO BLAME?, a "round table hosted by Voxpolitics and the Social Market Foundation" (from 6pm, Wed 2001-12-05, Warwick Room, The Social Market Foundation, Westminster, London). We'll be violently disagreeing with the motion that "Networked politics means people are getting smarter, more organised, more likely to kick something" and, by doing so, inadvertently helping them to prove their point. http://www.voxpolitics.com/news/voxpub/story274.shtml - the most up-to-date event listing on the site http://music.columbia.edu/cmc/dorkbot/dorkbotlondon/ - "we said Spinal Tap *above* Kim Hawtin from Consume.net" http://www.strangeattractor.co.uk/talks.html - and it's science vs the supernatural on Tuesday But before that, over the weekend, the usual saddoes will be dressing up in ridiculous costumes to engage in a bit of "fantasy role-playing" to enliven their otherwise pointless, friendless lives. But that's enough about this year's EROTICA 2001 exhibition (from today, London Olympia, around UKP17) - it's that time of year once again for some healthy tabletop action over at DRAGONMEET 2001 (from 10am, Sat 2001-12-01, UKP6, Kensington Town Hall, London - former location of World Of Amiga '99). Among the treats promised by organiser James Wallis are: Guest of honour John "Dork Tower" Kovalic (again), auctioning the only set of Pokethulhu miniatures in the country. The first UK sighting of the games biz's longest- running piece of vapourware, the "Realms of Sorcery" hardback, first described as "coming soon" in November 1986. Twice the number of traders as last year. And a bar. And hot food. And "complaining about the lack of clerics in the D&D movie until we're pasty in the face". That's *pastier*, surely... http://www.dragonmeet.com/ - "please ignore the animated gifs", he pleads http://www.erotica-uk.com/ - mmm, frames within frames. Sexy! >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering We have been requested from several quarters to refrain from the default "ooh look at its tiny wee footprint" reviews of the famed GALEON 1.0 browser, on the basis that given that it needs X, all the gnomelibs *and* a Mozilla installation, it's not that bloody tiny. Certainly not, we'll agree, compared to uIP, Adam Dunkel's TCP/IP stack that fits under 4KB, and runs on everything from a 6502 to an 8051 - or x86 if you want to be boring about it. Yes, yes, yes, they have a Web server running off a Commodore 64. More originally, someone's ported it (and the attached Webserver app) to the H8S/2148 processor, which some may recognise as the microcontroller found in snazzier notebook keyboards. Now that's an app the FBI would pay good money for. http://dunkels.com/adam/uip/ - giving ideas to virus writers since 1997 http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=2000/now0714.txt&l=130#l - anyway, we saw it first >> MEMEPOOL << hasta la altavista "Naughty Children To Be Registered As Potential Criminals": http://news.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2001/11/25/ncrime25.xml - information to be pooled with Interpol, FBI, Santa... show that you care - Gifts For Laid-Off AMAZON.COM Employees: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/listmania/list-browse/-/2I7M6F36X8S10/ ... http://www.ananova.com/entertainment/story/sm_454843.html vs http://www.williamshatner.com/ ... http://www.ratemypoo.com vs http://www.idiotica.co.uk/guide/dogshit.htm ... naked JAVA volleyball: http://tartarus.uwa.edu.au/%7Ewedgey/slime1/ ... "A town full of variety and charm, spirit and art [...] ZAGREB will surprise you with its hidden attractions and very high standard and very low prices of dental treatments", invitates: http://www.globtour.hr/hr/invitate/zg.htm#dental ... this week's redirectable URL: http://www.buffyweb.com/ ... "Though [...] their lifelines seem somewhat similar at first glance, there are even more things completely different about them" - who else could it be but MARK TWAIN and ROBERT A HEINLEIN?: http://www.heliweb.de/herbsev/twhn.htm ... who is the SHORTEST LINK: http://shorterlink.com/ vs http://makeashorterlink/ ? ... they look like Lego, but they're more likely Kubrick MGS2 minifigs: http://www.coremagazine.com/news/5308.php3 ... perfect for any owner of 20 decapitated ACTION MAN torsos: http://www.mcphee.com/cgi-bin/mcphee/affiliate?id=NOV201&sku=M5757 ... it's just a shame they don't do TV ads for the "HOOAH!" bar: http://www.sbccom.army.mil/products/food/perc.htm ... >> GEEK MEDIA << the less rude www.tvgohome.com, featuring TV GO HOME (TM) TV>> a double bill of nun fun, with the simmering eroticism of Powell and Pressburger's BLACK NARCISSUS (1.55pm, Sat, BBC2) erupting into a "terrifying world of demonic possession" in MONDO MACABRO: ALUCARDA (3.15am, Sat, C4)... I LOVE MONTY PYTHON (from 9.15pm, Sat, BBC2) features erratic Lego adaptation MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL (10.25pm, Sat) http://www.lego.com/studios/screening/movie.asp?title=montypython and, somewhat tangentially, overrated production-design-fest BRAZIL (11.50pm, Sat, BBC2)... while "Silent Hill 2" sponsors C5's FRIGHT NIGHT (from 9.05pm, Sat, C5), including the first six episodes of heavy-handedly surreal soap-opera spoof TWIN PEAKS (12midnight, Sat, C5)... C5 proudly showcases the first two movies in the FX: MURDER BY ILLUSION saga on consecutive nights (9pm, Mon & Tue, C5) - mildly more entertaining than Tony Scott's ponderously Tarantino-dialogue-heavy TRUE ROMANCE (10pm, Mon, C4)... Queen Amidala work-experience assassin classic LEON (10pm, Sun, C4) receives its annual airing on C4 ... that *is* Amy Allen from the A-Team in John Candy spoof Western WAGONS EAST! (11.05pm, Tue, BBC1) - last shown Nov 2000 on C4... and Charlie Brooker's videogame-reviewing roots shine through in incrementally upsetting website-adaptation format parody TV GO HOME (11.10pm, Tue; 11.30pm, Thu, E4)... of course antidepressants have negative side-effects, argues three-part pharmo-drama SWALLOW (9pm, Wed, C4), though dishing them out to patients who are suicidal in the first place tends to confuse the figures... given her "Eastenders" character's reputation, and the "remarkable skills" alluded to by the Radio Times, there's no telling how far things will go when TAMZIN OUTHWAITE GOES WILD WITH DOLPHINS (9pm, Thu, BBC1)... and COMEDY LAB (11.35pm, Thu, C4) at last shows the "Knife and Wife" animated pilot which http://www.bubblegun.com/ has been documenting in excruciating detail for the last two years... FILM>> it's a good week for fans of idiot odysseys which feature SNL's Will Ferrell, as Ben Stiller teams with his wife (Christine "Marcia Brady" Taylor) and his dad in his best film since "Reality Bites" - the magnificently retarded male model send-up ZOOLANDER (http://www.capalert.com/ : bitter rejection of a father by a son; picture of homosexual orgy; suggestive title of model agency; I wonder if there is any connection between the poisonous traits of the Mugatu character and the Mugatu creatures on Star Trek's "The Apple"?)... Will Ferrell reprises a similar role - but chasing Shannon Elizabeth, Ali Larter and Eliza Dushku - when Kevin Smith resurrects all his old jokes and characters in the forgivably ramshackle JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK (http://www.cndb.com/ : You see [Jason Mewes'] butt early in the film... big deal. It's really best to enjoy this movie for the hilarious film it is. Unless you have a huge crush on Jay, in which case more power to you)... otherwise there's Natasha "Species" Henstridge, Ice "NWA" Cube, Pam "Jackie Brown" Grier, Clea "The Faculty" DuVall and Joanna "Blade Runner" Cassidy - together at last! - in John Carpenter's frankly bizarre made-for-TV-style B-movie GHOSTS OF MARS (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ghostsofmars.htm : insane desperation - multiple; drug induced hallucination - repeatedly; wearing faces ripped off of others as masks) - "Goths Of Mars", more like... for your arthouse crowd, Todd "Happiness" Solondz enlists the diverse skills of Belle And Sebastian and Selma "Legally Blonde" Blair in two-in-one creativity-examining indie comedy STORYTELLING (imdb: college / high-school / sex) - probably more laughs than Barry Levinson's laboured feelgood heist romance BANDITS (imdb: bank-robbery / bored-housewife / car-accident / chase / disguise / flashback-sequence / fugitive / hypochondriac / journalism / love-triangle / media-manipulation / prison- escape / reward / shootout / special-effects / stuntman)... BONERS: CORRECTIONS, CLARIFICATIONS, AND "INCORRECTLY REGARDED AS GOOFS">> RICHARD STALLMAN paused from counting his winnings just long enough to tell us that the Takeda Award money, split between three recipients, comes to $830,000 in total, not the "100 million yen ($830,000) each" we (and MIT) reported last week. He remained uncharacteristically silent, however, on the matter of the "fsck /gnu/linux" t-shirt [also last week] which, under the circumstances, we're tempted to take as some sort of blessing... on the same story, "Is that journalism?", asked original gadfly DAVE WINER, though presumably he'll be happier now we've effectively slashed Stallman's windfall by two-thirds... and "Hey dudes, I don't hate UNIX. I don't like it, but I don't hate it", asserted THE INQUIRER's Andrew Thomas [NTK 2001-10-26; 2001-11-23], before going for the killer punchline: "Now, Linux - that I hate"... thanks to everyone - OLLY BETTS being the first - who tried pointing NTK 2001-11-02's "Where Would Jesus Surf?" filter *at itself*: http://www.wwjs.net/search/safe.cgi?url=http://www.wwjs.net , often finding "1 instances" of inappropriate language and concluding "The Safe Connect filter has determined this site to be of HIGH RISK! We recommend you hit your browser's back button and choose another link"... HUGH PYLE found himself in the unusual position of defending that 404-fixing BT banner ad http://ad.uk.doubleclick.net/viewad/628472/1-bt_opendown5.gif noting that "OpenWorld-hosted websites don't 404, they just redirect": http://www.btinternet.com/~no.user/nothing.here ... and GARETH OWEN punctured our "I'd like to report a power out-" gag: http://www.fpl.com/report/contents/power_outage.shtml [NTK 2001-10-19], by prophesying "far off days when small 'laptop' computers will be powered only by batteries. Well, a man can dream"... yes, ANDY BRICE, we almost certainly did mean "dispersion" rather than "diffraction" in our critique of the http://www.paintthemoon.org/ project [NTK 2001-10-26] - still didn't work though, did it?... BARRY DE LA ROSA advocated the "beta of ICEOWS, the next generation version of ARJFolder" [NTK 2001-11-09], recommending its "whole bunch more formats (including Colin McRae 2!)" and "full folder extraction as well". "But it's still French", he concedes... and, finally, JOE WHITELEY, seemingly unaware of the net's time-honoured "slash" tradition, felt we could be entrusted with the red-hot info that "There's an online community thing dedicated to writing new chapters for, say, Buffy, or Xena, in which they have sex". But "Buffy isn't the most popular", Joe confides - that honour goes to "Sabrina the Teenage Witch". "One of those things, I guess", he shrugs. "Maybe the stories feature the two aunts as well, that'd give it an edge"... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "funny, like dotCOMagain, but doesn't explain things" http://www.gorjuss.com/archives/00000033.html NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.geekstyle.co.uk/ (K) 2001 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.