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         "We used the roman numeral because we thought it would be
         cool and fun," he said. "But officially it's Mac OS X 10.0,"
         Schiller said.
         http://www.zdnet.com/zdnn/stories/news/0,4586,2694399,00.html
  - and the bouncy applications in the dock? was that "cool"? WAS IT?


                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                                abuse to reuse

         The sky is falling, the sky is falling! A recession so deep,
         God had to hire out-of-work Russians to enact the omens.
         That said, we *like* recessions: cheap Ataris one cycle,
         hours spent on the dole writing zines the next - and always
         lashings of rich, creamy schaudenfreude. Our hobby this
         L-shaped curve: watching previously money-grubbing
         corporates become *desperately* money-grubbing. Take the IP
         spat that everyone's missed this week. In a determined
         attempt to kill the one new sector that looks vaguely
         promising, PROXIM abruptly began suing all other
         manufacturers of 802.11b wireless LAN cards this week, for
         breaches of their patents. Why now? Well, last week, Intel
         dumped support for Proxim's competing HomeRF standard, and
         switched to the competing IEEE 802.11 standard. Proxim's
         shares drop 40%,. Of course, Proxim, like any IEEE
         contributor, made a solemn promise to be reasonable about
         patent licensing back when they were contributing to the
         standard. But, hey, they're running a business here. Or the
         possibility occurs that they might not be for much longer.
         http://news.excite.com/news/r/010321/16/tech-proxim-stocks
                                                              - cause?
         http://www.proxim.com/inside/pressroom/2001pr/patent2.shtml
                                                             - effect?
         http://standards.ieee.org/db/patents/pat802_11.html
                                                 - everybody: bundle!

         Perhaps the biggest promise of change in the Long Gloom, for
         us, is that we'll waving goodbye to those itinerant leeches
         who, having joined us from their puckered-up worlds of
         advertising and media, are now slithering off to find
         freshly opened veins. Why, just this week we've had FUTURE
         NETWORKS^W PUBLISHING decide that they'd even go back to
         selling mags than be the wired(tm)-up Business 2.0 portal o'
         the Net. We've had anonymous reports of bold TV producers
         who "made the leap to the 21st century" recoil back into the
         tellywomb - unaware that even in that stagnant world, some
         things have changed (such as one ex-MD, now embedded in the
         BBC, pitching a 70's-style "hanggliding troubleshooter"
         show, with himself as the star). And can we suggest that if
         it's money they're after (and it always was), maybe they
         should all follow NTK irregular subscriber HARI KUNZRU's
         star, who safely quit new media when he was ahead, ie almost
         immediately, and now has an 800,000UKP two-book deal. Yeah,
         book publishing - that's where the money is, kids. Over
         there. Far away from us. But where we can see you.
         http://www.inside.com/jcs/Story?article_id=26278&pod_id=7
                                                 - back to the Future
         http://www.bunderlife.com/
                         - you've always been value for money, Leslie
         http://www.heise.de/tp/english/inhalt/co/8221/1.html
                                     - "and no-one ... wants to lose"
         http://www.ecst.csuchico.edu/~atman/attention-fat-bastards.html
               - still the best predictor of future growth we've seen

         In what we're sure isn't some ingenious attempt to get
         publicity-hungry hackers to provide lawcourt-ready evidence of
         their exploits, THE SCIENCE MUSEUM'S WELLCOME WING (the new
         bit, with all the PCs in the perspex boxes) is putting
         together an exhibition on the theme of Cybercrime And Hacking
         - and this could be your big chance to get your face in there
         along with Charlie Babbage and the CyberWorld 3D Imax movie.
         So far they've social-engineered London 2600 into asking if
         anyone has any "suitable photos" (or URLs) - if so, please
         mail them to london2600@hushmail.com , who promise to pass
         them on, or censor them (or both). "Privacy will be respected"
         they add, though bear in mind this was part of a conversation
         which also alluded to notable "script kiddy vulnerabilities"
         on "at least one" of the Science Museum's servers.
         http://www.sciencemuseum.org.uk/wellcome-wing/
- Kev Warwick's homepage susceptible to a bit of "remote control", too


                                >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         MANICS return to "Country & Western" roots (track listing):
  http://www.nme.com/NME/External/Reviews/Reviews_Story/0,1069,7192,00.html
         ... "not currently hiring" - oh, really? http://argus-inc.com/
         , http://www.geocast.com/ , http://www.geocast.com/jobs/ ...
         http://groups.google.com/groups?q=x&seld=923311257&ic=1 - not
         so fast, BOB DIAMOND: http://www.xanboo.com/aboutus/management.htm
         ... REGISTER rails against SLASHDOT's censoring of Scientology
         tract, oddly reticent to run said feature themselves ... pass
         it on: http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/17817.html vs
         http://www.gameloft.co.uk/index2.php?file=free_210301 ... Tom
         and Barbara hold mass livestock cull as Foot & Mouth hits THE
         GOOD LIFE: http://www.ntk.net/2001/03/23/goodlifedoh.gif ...
         great ad for MS SQL SERVER 2000: http://www.terraserver.com
         vs http://www.terraserver.com/terra_whatis.asp ... PALMPILOT
         HOLLYWOOD: http://www.landware.com/gotype/version_history.html
         ... HEAR'SAY MILLENNIUM EDITION supersedes "Candle In The Win 98":
         http://www.ntk.net/2001/03/23/dohcandle.gif ... thanks IAIN,
         that ought to do it: http://www.ntk.net/2001/03/23/dohmtv.gif
         ... forget "new economy" here's the "oldBusiness" round-up:
         http://www.ntk.net/2001/03/23/dohold.gif ... "Some sites
         collect information on you and sell it to other businesses!" -
         http://www.citv.co.uk/citv/safesurfing/safesurfing.asp vs no 9
         at: http://www.citv.co.uk/citv/bottom_nav/disclaimer.htm ...


                               >> EVENT QUEUE <<
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         Tragically we didn't get the "women's sizes" NTK T-shirts
         printed in time for Mother's Day (maybe next year, eh?) but,
         filling the gap left by "Phone In Sick" day (though at the
         weekend), comes the first annual worldwide JAMMY DAY (from
         sundown Sat 2000-03-24 until sundown 2000-03-24) - an attempt
         to make you appreciate your family and friends by staying
         indoors all day in your pyjamas (individuals who sleep naked
         or in more exotic lingerie are presumably excluded). Other
         than that, not too much to look forward to until next week's
         CODE: INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE ON COLLABORATION AND OWNERSHIP
         IN THE DIGITAL ECONOMY (from Tue 2001-04-03, various venues in
         Cambridge and London) which we suspect may be just a fancy way
         of saying "giant warez-swapmeet and demo party".
         http://www.cl.cam.ac.uk/CODE/
                                  - Stallman! Perens! Free ice-cream!
         http://www.roughtrade.com/docs/rota.htm
        - and a slub.org generative music gig this Saturday afternoon
         http://www.jammyday.com/media/song.html
             - A "Million Slipper March"? Bloody Chris Morris fans...


                                >> TRACKING <<
               sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering

         Hey, we've all wasted time scribbling our ingenious
         "mindmapping" app on the backs of envelopes in pubs, but to
         our knowledge only Tony Buzan and SAINT TED NELSON of XANADU
         have made careers of it. And in Ted's case, not even that.
         Still, for anyone whose imagination was inspired, and
         attention deficit disorder accelerated, by Ted's vision of a
         super-mega-hyperlinked future, the appearence of GZIGZAG
         should get the synapses firing. Yup, it's an Java GUI
         implementation of Ted's long-awaited, heavily overcooked
         hypertext system, right down to *two* data windows, at least
         two sets of cursor keys, *six* different coloured cursors,
         and *n* dimensions of connectivity. The end result looks
         like what Spock must stare at in those goggles of his, and
         promises to solve all our data patterning needs. If we could
         just shake off this migraine...
         http://www.gzigzag.org/
              - or apt-get install gzigzag , you debian wunderkinder!


                                >> MEMEPOOL <<
                              hasta la altavista

         of course, MIR's slightly more "within our reach" nowadays:
         http://www.mirstation.com/station_future.html - no free TACOS:
         http://www.tacobell.com/3company/2business/mir.htm , but did
         they manage to "hold" the nightmarish QUATERMASS GUACAMOLE?
         http://www.space.com/news/spacestation/space_fungus_000727.html
         ... CD-burning Apple TV ad looks like GEISS for WINAMP... the
         new bonsaikitten.com: http://www.thewax.com/t-bone/sra3/ ...
         because you always wanted *your* school orchestra to tackle
         that classic medley of BUBBLE BOBBLE and NEW ZEALAND STORY :
         http://www.retrogames.com/music/Bandle%20Bobble-Live.mp3 ...
         http://playground.sun.com/1275/home.html#OFDescription - the
         future of non-corporate anthems... that KPMG song as a NOKIA
         RINGTONE: http://www.ntk.net/2001/03/23/kpmgsong.ott ...
         http://www.microsoft.com/net/hailstorm.asp#005 announces
         myAddress, myProfile, myContacts, myDevices, myWallet,
         myApplicationSettings, myPants etc - inexplicably overlooks:
         http://www.iamlost.com/features/mlp/ ... the SWEDISH SEARCH:
         http://www.google.com/advanced_search?hl=xx-bork ... VINT CERF
         owns hat with "artificial pony tail"...


                                >> GEEK MEDIA <<
                        the less rude www.tvgohome.com

         TV>> it's Will Smith night on BBC2, with a double FRESH PRINCE
         OF BEL AIR (6.45pm, Fri, BBC2) leading into gay conman play
         adaptation SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION (12.20am, Fri, BBC2) -
         Donald Sutherland's problems with convincing imposters
         continue in the superb 1970s remake of INVASION OF THE BODY
         SNATCHERS (12midnight, Mon, BBC1) - squEEEEEEE!!!... Derek
         Jacobi imitates Jean-Luc Picard in a sci-fi convention special
         of FRASIER (10pm, Fri, C4)... unable to comprehend the end of
         its lucrative I LOVE THE 1980s franchise (9.10pm, Sat, BBC2),
         the BBC tosses in era classics FLASHDANCE (11.05pm, Fri, BBC1)
         and STAYING ALIVE (12.40am, Fri, BBC1)... and C5 pretty much
         gives up on Fri altogether, by showing Joan Collins' THE BITCH
         (10.50pm, Fri, C5), notorious turkey ISHTAR (12.30am, Fri, C5)
         plus the pilot episode of the Bullock-free TV series of THE
         NET (3.10am, Sat, C5)... the movie disappointments persist
         with Sigourney Weaver webcam whodunnit COPYCAT (10.25pm, Sat,
         BBC1), appalling Anne Rice yawn INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE
         (11.15pm, Sat, ITV), patchily entertaining THE CABLE GUY
         (10pm, Sun, C4) and, ingeniously following last week's "The
         Exorcist" and "Exorcist III", sub-standard Leslie Nielsen
         spoof REPOSSESSED (10pm, Mon, C4)... THE OTHER SIDE (3.05am,
         Sun, C4) opens a window on the poorly-ventilated world of
         self-assembly plastic-model "Girl Kits"... MTV presents a
         "making of" introduction to Johnny Knoxville's post-Tom-Green
         JACKASS (from 9pm, Mon, MTV) - hope it's the one with the
         taser: http://www.dailyping.com/archive/2000/10/30/ ... an
         underperforming THE WEST WING is ignominiously shunted back to
         11.05pm, Thu, C4... "Why don't you just switch off your TV set
         and do something less - no, not *straight away*!" argues some
         guy on COUNTERBLAST (11.20pm, Thu, BBC2)... and C5 at last
         breaks its unblemished bad-movie record - TANGO AND CASH (9pm,
         Tue, C5), for instance - with GET CARTER (10pm, Wed, C5) and
         John Woo's underrated helicopter-exploding nuke spectacular
         BROKEN ARROW (9pm, Thu, C5)...

         FILM>> a re-teaming with Benjamin "Demolition Man" Bratt -
         plus William Shatner and Ernie "Ghostbusters" Hudson - marks
         a new entry in our Top 3 Geeky Sandra Bullock Movies Of All
         Time: sassy post-feminist nerd-makeover MISS CONGENIALITY
         (http://www.screenit.com/movies/2000/miss_congeniality.html :
         Some kids might want to imitate [Bullock's] snorting laugh;
         [Bullock] comes walking out wearing an extremely tight and
         somewhat short, formfitting dress that clearly accentuates her
         breasts; Michael Caine [...] appears to be gay)... and we give
         another two (severed) thumbs-up to Beat "Johnny Mnemonic"
         Takeshi's arthouse African-American buddy Yakuza shoot-em-up
         remake of "Romeo Must Die", BROTHER (http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ :
         Contains coarse language, and strong horror and violence)...
         otherwise there's Matthew "WarGames" Broderick in domestic
         Oscar bait YOU CAN COUNT ON ME (imdb: independent-film /
         affair-with-boss / affair / automobile-accident / bank /
         brother-sister-relationship / father-figure / marriage-
         proposal / mother-son-relationship / orphan / pool-table /
         single-mother / small-town / uncle-nephew-relationship)...
         Barry "Sphere" Levinson's IRA comedy AN EVERLASTING PIECE
         (http://www.screenit.com/movies/2000/an_everlasting_piece.html :
         The camera briefly focuses on and then moves up [Anna
         Friel's] leg and part of her thigh)... or heavy-handed anti-TV
         social-comment actioner FIFTEEN MINUTES (imdb: Robert De "Meet
         The Parents" Niro, Ed "The Brothers McMullen" Burns, Kim "Sex
         And The City, Mannequin" Cattrall, Kelsey "Frasier" Grammer
         and Oleg "Ultimate Fighting Championships" Taktarov - together
         at last!)...

         "WHAT THE???" FEEBDACK>> "Most of the time I don't know what
         you're talking about, but I like the way you say it" writes
         PETER LAURIE, unwittingly echoing the sentiments of almost
         every NTK reader we've ever met. But, to your credit, you guys
         can give as good as you get, proved by this compilation of the
         most baffling mail we've received recently... spotting that
         we'd stuck "needtoknow" at the end of an Amazon URL in NTK
         2001-02-16, JOHN SULLIVAN inquired: "Do you have a deal with
         them, or are you just trying to fill their logs with your
         name?" You know what, John, it's actually a bit of both - we
         have an http://www.amazon.co.uk/associates/ sort of deal with
         them (new bestseller update coming soon, by the way)... "I
         notice NTK has revived the art of spine lines, as found of
         magazines of yore", observed DANIEL BIDDLE. No we haven't,
         Daniel, what on earth are you talking about? Next!... after
         his gentle ribbing in NTK 2001-02-23, WILLIAM ROWE attempted
         to confirm that his gibberish-fuelled NINFOMANIA did indeed
         pass away last year, only to be replaced by a near-identical
         newsletter called "FEED", itself now "on hold until we can
         find some more kryptonite to power our mainframe. New shipment
         due next month. Until then we are cashing in our silicon chips
         to pay for all last year's bar bills by selling the internet
         back to the Americans". Whatever, William - but thanks for
         revealing what's been sapping your superhuman potential... and
         "Why not have a section on Geeks?" suggested VICKI CRONIN,
         apropos of, it seems, nothing in particular. Vicki, last we
         checked, the whole newsletter is about "Geeks". Is there any
         aspect of this experience you think we might be neglecting?...
         reassuringly, some readers are now choosing to bewilder us
         with images as well as text, led by MAX SUMMERELL's T-shirt
         entry: http://www.ntk.net/2001/03/23/MAP0000.gif . As well as
         gaining our instant attention with a 2-megabyte 24-bit-colour
         uncompressed BMP, Max thoughtfully provided hints on other
         clothes to wear with the designs, in the most impressively
         hand-crafted submission we've received so far. Just one thing
         though: the design basically consists of the words "Green
         Orange Yellow" (and "Red Blue Black" for girls)?... and
         finally, thanks to all the obfuscation enthusiasts who
         interpreted 2001-03-02's mention of "Unlambda" as an open
         invitation to send us lengthy war stories of their minimalist
         coding exploits - including TONY FINCH, whose IOCCC winning
         http://www.ioccc.org/years.html#1998_fanf "used conventional
         FP bracketing to denote function application", and MARTIN
         RODGERS, who recommended "Scheme, running in your browser"
         http://www.cs.cornell.edu/eli/meaning.html and still "loves"
         the sieve of Erastothenes "written in one line of Haskell",
         concluding "And *still* nobody will employ me". NTK regrets
         that this set of correspondence is now closed...


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
                       Registered at the Post Office as
                 not quite the reciprocal link we had in mind
                          http://www.schmews.com/

                                 NEED TO KNOW
            THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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