Need To Know 2001-10-05

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2001-12-28
MiniNTK #14
CSS Sera Sera

2001-12-21
#225
Kieren McCarthy Christmas tits tribute special

2001-12-14
#224
Good news is old news!

2001-12-07
#223
Demon learns a lesson, mh for Mac, twat or anti-twat?

2001-11-30
#222
NCS vs NNTP, XPrez vs XP

2001-11-23
#221
Weddings, Winnings and Winer

2001-11-16
#220
Black Ice and other signs of Autumn

2001-11-09
#219
Left, near the Middle

2001-11-02
#218
Here come de judgement

2001-10-26
#217
More career-limiting moves

2001-10-19
#216
Those pesky kids

2001-10-12
#215
Throttles of gear, pieces of eight

2001-10-05
#214
With laws like these, who needs new ones?

2001-09-28
#213
Return of the straw man argument, curiously BBC obsessed otherness

2001-09-21
#212
`hostname` security department, semi-annual LIVE slagging

2001-09-14
#211
The "You should have seen what they *wanted* us to put" Edition

2001-09-07
#210
Opinions legal, irrational, and prejudicial

2001-08-31
MiniNTK #14
Back to school Burning Man bonanza

2001-08-24
#209
porn, pr0n, and pawns

2001-08-17
#208
Imagine there's no money left, it's easy if you try

2001-08-10
#207
Death of everything predicted, .mpg at 11

2001-08-03
#206
More Dmitry, dancing Ballmer, cheeky brass monkeys

2001-07-27
#205
Squelching bugs, silencing critics, coveting your neighbour's cache

2001-07-20
#204
Adobe Incriminator, RBL quibbles, T-Shirts Classique

2001-07-13
#203
Casualties of Browser War, Stupid Hash Joke

2001-07-06
MiniNTK #13
future attractions, usual distractions

2001-06-29
MiniNTK #12
Free beer, stuff we don't want to hear

2001-06-22
MiniNTK #11
Poptastic parody special

2001-06-15
MiniNTK #10
Wonka Oompas, more Fruit of the Moon

2001-06-08
#202
No, I said Doug Rushkoff *above* Constrict Anus 100 Times Malarkey

2001-06-01
#201
Monkey minifigs, free-the-Henson workshop

2001-05-25
#200
Especially vindictive birthday edition

2001-05-18
#199
NDAed NMA, JK's PKI, ACC's SFAs

2001-05-11
#198
libel sell-by, interface bye-bye, mah-lah borg-ay

2001-05-04
#197
sleeket, cowrin, tim'rous MSFTie!

2001-04-27
#196
MayDay, DumbCode, DotOnes

2001-04-20
#195
Tank Police, Tanked TV

2001-04-13
MiniNTK #9
The Short Good Friday Mini-NTK

2001-04-06
#194
Wireless' next trick, Shockwave Scalextric

2001-03-30
#193
Registering the troublemakers, troublemaking The Register

2001-03-23
#192
Yay, downturn and stately Xanadu

2001-03-16
#191
Vorderman rude, dastardly Motley sued

2001-03-09
#190
Nickers and Breaches, Shirts and "Pants"

2001-03-02
#189
Manx, Cranks, and Arty Wanks

2001-02-23
#188
Keymasters of the Gateway, Manic Nostalgia Miners, Finnish Film Roundup

2001-02-16
#187
Dirty domaining, Dodgy Demon, and Dimwit Mail

2001-02-09
#186
Pissy Noho, Alleged Ali, and the Sputnik

2001-02-02
#185
Never mind /dev/bollocks, here's KPMG

2001-01-26
#184
putting the "Nervous" into DNS, Schnews, and those damn dirty apes

2001-01-19
#183
Ivan, Lotto and Dav(r)os

2001-01-12
#182
Fracas, Faxers, and WAPpers

2001-01-05
#181
"First F00ting", Athame with the NSA, more bloody ASCII art

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"The FTC said anyone who has been a victim of the pop-up trick or has information as to his whereabouts should contact them." http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1575000/1575060.stm - he's behind that window! no wait, he's over there by the taskbar! >> HARD NEWS << other people's views The American legal system is, of course, just the British kernel with a shorter uptime and a few clumsy security patches slapped in. So whenever a rogue US attempts to buffer-overflow some civil liberties, rest assured our Parliament probably dumped core on it a *long* time ago. This week, we thought we'd report on how to rip the new wave of "copy-protected" CDs. Unfortunately, the CAMPAIGN FOR DIGITAL RIGHTS guys reminded us that we lost that right back in *1988*, when Section 296 of the Copyright, Design, and Patents Act prophetically forbade publishing "information intended to enable or assist persons to circumvent that form of copy-protection". So much for fussing over the DMCA, then. Worse, just as we were planning to smugly report those US plans to make hacking a terrorist offence, we remembered: it already *is* a terrorist offence here, thanks to the new Prevention of Terrorism Act. And check it out - the Americans are putting a time-limit on *their* terrorist legislation, just like we did in the '70s! http://www.hmso.gov.uk/acts/acts1988/Ukpga_19880048_en_21.htm#mdiv296 - we'd decode the legalise but, well, you know... http://www.blagged.freeserve.co.uk/ta2000/200600.htm - celebrating 29 years of temporary measures http://uk.eurorights.org/ - protest tomorrow, while you still can Meanwhile, it was the WASHINGTON POST who finally unveiled terrorists for the monsters they really are: fiendish forgers and warez doods. Roslyn Mazer unveiled a damning dossier that conclusively showed "trademark pirates in Pakistan producing T-shirts with counterfeit Nike logos and glorifying bin Laden" and that "eight of 10 countries identified by a trade group as having the highest business software piracy rates in the world - Pakistan, China, Indonesia, Ukraine, Russia, Lebanon, Qatar and Bahrain - have links to al-Qaeda". Circumstantial? Perhaps? Necessary to declare war on all IP theft? Of course. Although we still don't get it - who'd pay for pirated stuff anyway? And does bin Laden get to sue for using his image without permission? http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A43957-2001Sep29.html - "alarming unto themselves", apparently http://www.nologo.org/article.pl?sid=01/10/03/1326207 - she's the Beauty Myth one right? No? Back in the UK, the ever-reliable OBSERVER railed against ID cards and objected to "proposals to intercept every email, bank transaction and mobile phone call" in its pro-civil liberties editorial, then handed out an olive branch to the Home Secretary. "There are ... important initiatives that Mr Blunkett could take", they wrote, teasingly. "By far the most effective would be the curtailing of the complex encryption terrorists use to protect their communications. Organisations using encryption codes legitimately should be obliged to give the electronic key to the appropriate police authority in advance". Sigh. One - more - time. One: everyone has a legitimate use for encryption: heck, every time you pay by credit card, you're doing it. Two: if you don't have control of your keys, you have no guarantee that your communication is safe. Three: big pile of keys at police authority implies big place to go for fun terrorist hacking party. Four: here is the set of "organisations using encryption codes legitimately" and here is the set of terrorists. Observe the intersection. There is NONE. IT IS THE NULL SET. VENN DIAGRAM THAT LOOK LIKE TWO BIG CIRCLES EQUAL BAD PUBLIC POLICY. http://www.observer.co.uk/leaders/story/0,6903,560536,00.html - "scrutiny tedious" >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious LASTMINUTE offer unusually short break, for new "nervous tourist" market: http://www.ntk.net/2001/10/05/dohshort.jpg ... well, that's *one* definition of "completely random": http://www.newscientist.com/lastword/answers/769animals.jsp ... C4 deny "dumbing down" of ratings-grabbing ballet docu: http://www.ntk.net/2001/10/05/dohdame.jpg ... are you calling my OS a http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/192899444X/ ? ... "Do you remember what you were doing when [these events] hit our TV screens? We do, because of the kind of work we were doing", reassure GCHQ: http://www.whatwereyoudoing.co.uk/ ... HOUSTON, we have a problem: http://wff-aries.wff.nasa.gov/ ... "readers rejoice": http://www.contentville.com/ - FALCO!... http://www.lux.org.uk/ FALCO - is it the CURSE OF DEEPEND?... go on, rub it in: http://www.ntk.net/2001/10/05/dohsuse.gif ... this week's worst BBC pics - for technical achievement: http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1569000/1569257.stm - and for upsetting imagery (and gratuitously mixed metaphor): http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/business/newsid_1575000/1575017.stm ... when oh when will the public tire of cross-dressing e- commerce goofs? http://www.ntk.net/2001/10/05/dohspeedo.gif ... "do as I say, not as I - never mind": http://www.isii.com/ ... couldn't they find someone doing an "Engelish Degeree"?: http://www.rusu.co.uk/commercial/athspav.htm ... test-data- tastic (priced as "Free", seems to deduct UKP1 from bill): http://www.expansys.com/product.asp?code=ih_test3 ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful Two words: WARPSTOCK 2001 (from Sat 2001-10-06, Toronto, US$120). Rather than repeat last year's jokes about die-hard OS/2 fans, we pause only to note that this year's site features a handy explanatory letter that visitors can print out and show to Canadian customs, explaining: "Although the operating system advocated by these individuals is *exactly* the kind of cover story that a primitive non-industrialised society might come up with if all they had to work from were a couple of decade-old back issues of 'Byte', they are *not* in fact 'fanatics', and should not be considered dangerous. (Unless you're a MacOS or Windows evangelist, of course!)" Or words to that effect, anyway. http://www.warpstock.org/2001/registration/registration.html - "A guaranteed fun evening amongst OS/2 enthusiasts!" >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering We were a good few years behind in our discovery of ACTION SUPERCROSS [NTK 1998-02-20], and no-one seemed to mind. Permit us then to be the next to last to know about ELASTOMANIA. Elastomania is the (not brand new) updated version of the saintly AS, a mitteleuropa platform motorcycling game where the slo-mo weird-shit physics *are* the gameplay. The backgrounds are more colourful in EM, the game runs on Windows instead of DOS, there's level editors and tat for the (cheaper) $9.95 shareware fee, but the addictiveness, frustration-level, curiously undescriptive titling, and funky mistranslations remain the same. Now, if only someone could port EXTREME VIOLENCE to Windows, we'd be set. http://www.elastomania.com/ - BeOS, huh? Now *that's* a mistranslation http://www.geocities.com/simesgreen/ev/ - yes, they're related http://www.acm.uiuc.edu/windevils/windevils97/ev/ - this does *not* count >> MEMEPOOL << the unintentional http://www.gagpipe.com/ at last - an even more time-consumingly pointless version of GEOCACHING: http://www.gpsdrawing.com/ ... KAZAA, MORPHEUS bar 3rd-party open source clients from their networks, instantly get sued by RIAA - also, interesting definition of "exclusive" at http://www.dotcomscoop.com/riaa1003.html , compared to (say): http://www.fuckedcompany.com/extras/riaa_memo.cfm ... the secret of DELL's success? (bestsellers numbers 2 and 3): http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/browse/-/210274/ ... when will the public tire of the "getting speech synths to say rude words" gag?: http://www.sobelow.com/crack/ ... OLD MAN MURRAY goes to War: http://www.oldmanmurray.com/features/america/ ... "One day soon, God willing, bad driving will be good for a laugh once again": http://www.tardsite.com/trdomnth10_01.htm ... wow, now *this* certainly doesn't sound a lame PR stunt: http://news.excite.com/news/r/011005/08/odd-porn-dc ... failing to fill that TVGOHOME gap: http://www.bbcbraindead.com ... reuniting graduates from the "school of hard knocks": http://www.bloommedia.co.uk/richard/web/fiends/main.htm ... come on, SALON - are you in favour of public executions or not?: http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2001/10/02/fatima/ vs http://www.salon.com/july97/media/media970728.html ... perhaps over-competitive dad imitates character from THE FAST SHOW: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,559374,00.html ... lovable Iranians imitate "Call of The Simpsons" episode: http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20011002/od/toddler_dc_1.html ... JEDI now an official UK religion (bottom of page 18/92): http://www.statistics.gov.uk/census2001/pdfs/section5part3.pdf ... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> the line between original artists and tribute acts continues to blur as Boy George impersonates David Bowie in POPSTARS IN THEIR EYES (6.10pm, Sat, ITV1), and Ant and Dec oversee the search to find "the new Ant and Dec" - by besting them in hand-to-hand combat? - in POP IDOL (8pm, Sat, ITV1)... deciding they're as relevant today as they ever were, Granada Plus declares Sat a DUKES OF HAZZARD DAY (from 12noon, Sat)... Anna Friel shares a bath with Rachel Weisz in Carry-On-style WW2 caper THE LAND GIRLS (8pm, Sat, C4) - apparently not as good as the Anna Friel/Michelle Williams bath-sharing scene in her upcoming film "Me Without You"... while weekend movie highlights include the appallingly directed AUSTIN POWERS: INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY (10.10pm, Sat, ITV1), Wesley Snipes ninja vampire-killer comic-book adaptation BLADE (10pm, Sat, BBC2) and, following the gushing plaudits for it on last week's "I Love 1995", THE USUAL SUSPECTS (10pm, Sun, C4)... there's a topical repeat for Toffler-esque documentary FUTURE WAR (8pm, Sun, BBC2), although Jean-Claude Van Damme presents his alternative vision of a Kylie-Minogue-policed "New World Order" in STREET FIGHTER: THE MOVIE (9pm, Sun, C5), followed on Mon by the obscure-even-by-Van-Damme-standards INFERNO (9pm, Mon, C5)... C4 helps to reassure a jittery public with inaccurately titled bioweapon drama GAS ATTACK (9pm, Mon, C4) ... and George tries to preserve his "Frogger" high-score in the first of a week of BBC unceremoniously dumping all its remaining episodes of SEINFELD (11ish, Sun-Thu, BBC2)... this week's C4 prestigious decent-movie-in-Monday-graveyard-slot is IN THE COMPANY OF MEN (11.50pm, Mon, C4)... after August's controversial "Timewatch", the saturation bombing of German civilians is defended in BATTLEFIELDS (9pm, Tue, BBC2) - hey, didn't it draw retaliatory attacks away from British military- industrial targets or something?... the events from the movie "Zulu Dawn" are pointlessly re-enacted by enthusiasts in ZULU: THE WARRIORS RETURN (8pm, Tue, C5)... and the BBC continues to refute accusations of "dumbing down" with (presumably) a prime-time explanation of gravitational singularities, PAUL DANIELS IN A BLACK HOLE (8pm, Thu, BBC1)... FILM>> Sly Stallone, Renny "Deep Blue Sea" Harlin, Burt "Boogie Nights" Reynolds, Gina "Bound" Gershon, Juan Pablo "as himself" Montoya, and former professional synchronised swimmer Estella "Planet Of The Apes" Warren largely succeed in making a daftly entertaining version of F1 motor racing in DRIVEN (http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/review/2001/04/27/driven/ : a perverted love story about boys, cars and death; the overall effect is somewhere between "Speed Racer" and gay porn)... alternatively, there's what appears to be a historical costume drama made by the people who do low-budget South American soap operas, ORIGINAL SIN (http://www.cndb.com/ : [Angelina] Jolie reveals her Oscar-winning breasts several times [...] some of her best nudity since "Gia"; I haven't done much research into the subject, but this might just be the best movie for fans of Antonio [Banderas'] derriere)... while it's not an encouraging sign that the posters have chosen to credit Jean-Pierre Jeunet as "the maker of Delicatessen" - ignoring his more recent work on "Alien 4" - for zany French arthouse "Neverwhere" fairytale AMELIE (http://www.imdb.com/ : dream-like / happiness / poetry / automatic-photo-booth / ghost-train / glass-bones / jealousy / lady-diana-spencer / local-blockbuster / love / mental- retardation / orgasm / photograph / revenge / sex-shop / sex / stylization / suicide / video / waitress / zorro)... THE "VICTORIAN AFFECTATION">> putting the "dead" back into "dead tree publishing", a big old falco for Haymarket's THE NET magazine, which is being absorbed into Future's .NET http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/News.View.aspx?ContentID=453 ("Whizzer and Chips"-style?) as part of a bizarre swap for the rights to Future's failed "Total Football"... on a - slightly - more positive note, thanks for all your feedback on Kevin Warwick's REAL ROBOTS (UKP3.99, every other Thursday), including OPERATIVE HARRIMANS, who listed the claim that "Reading University created the first ultrasound/sonar guided robots" as "most annoying among the inaccuracies", although we were too busy fiddling with the self-tapping screws and wondering how many issues it's going to be before the robot actually does anything to notice... plus EYE SPY! MAGAZINE's coverage of "Intelligence, Espionage, Related Military & Political Affairs" (UKP2.99) looks like it's doing quite well nowadays - according to http://www.eyespymag.com , they're planning a "Bin-Laden Summer Special" for issue 4, which should be an improvement over the David Shayler photo pin-ups which seemed to be the theme of the last one. Disappointingly, the letters page isn't edited by "Big Chief Eye Spy" either... over in books, not too many surprises - The A-Team, Larry Sanders, The Kids from Fame, Neal Stephenson - in the updated NTK bestsellers chart for Q3 2001 http://www.ntk.net/books/ - and we've even pruned down last year's list of books which you can buy with a UKP5 Amazon token without paying extra on P&P, following GARY "ADMINSPOTTING" BARNES' erudite observation that "[Samuel Butler's] Erewhon is now 4.07 on Amazon, not 0.80, and Plays of Oscar Wilde are 3.48 a volume"... other catalogue curiosities recently drawn to our attention include ALAN MOORE's long-awaited wiccan accountancy primer, TAX MAGIC http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1902065220/ , the tasty-sounding TACO BELL CHICKEN QUESADILLA HANDHELD amusingly advertised within Amazon.com's "portable electronics" section http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00005QDXU/ , and the possibly related and brilliantly titled FUNDAMENTALS OF CHEESE SCIENCE: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0834212609/ ... for genuine recommendations, however, there's the UK debut of classic Harvard Lampoon Tolkien parody BORED OF THE RINGS http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0575073624/needtoknow0e and the crazy world of Arthur "McSweeneys" Bradford's DOGWALKER http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0241141508/needtoknow0e - or, for those of us on a tighter budget, sci-fi FALLEN ANGELS, online at http://www.baen.com/library/067172052X/067172052X.htm , and described by NTK literary critic LLOYD WOOD as "easily the worst thing that Pournelle and Niven have written. Apart from anything Pournelle has written BY HIMSELF", and leading him to conclude that the site as a whole offers the tantalising opportunity to read "the world's worst SF - for free!"... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "flattered (sincerely)" http://www.bys.org.uk NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntk.net/books/ (K) 2001 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.