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        "Before the tragedy of September 11th the only thing scary
         about Anthrax was our bad hair in the 80's and the 'Fistful Of
         Metal' album cover. Most people associated the name Anthrax
         with the band, not the germ. Now in the wake of those events,
         our name symbolizes fear, paranoia and death. Suddenly our
         name is not so cool..."
         - thrash metal band ANTHRAX disown previous albums "Armed And
         Dangerous" and "Spreading The Disease"
         http://www.anthrax.com/html/ANTHRAX_home.htm
            ...fear and paranoia of our record sales dying, more like


                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                              filtering the spews

         No, it's this week's *other* story about stupid muppets linked
         to subliminal imagery: a bit of support now for THE REGISTER's
         knee-jerk scepticism over IOMART's steganographically
         encrypted files "which *might* be linked to Osama bin Laden"
         [our emphasis] on account of their "containing Arabic text and
         dates". Despite fears that the former Madasafish owner had
         found these by snooping on their customers, Iomart actually
         ditched its consumer ISP earlier this year and "now regards
         Net Intelligence as its main product" - "intelligence" partly
         provided by one STEPHEN WHITELAW who, perhaps prophetically,
         called steganography "the third biggest threat to US security
         after biological and chemical attack" almost exactly this time
         last year [NTK 2000-10-27]. Whitelaw's man-sized database of
         "the dark side of the web" was then claimed to be worth around
         $300m, though we suspect Iomart paid slightly less for it when
         they bought his company out of liquidation in July. Of course,
         those traditional stego bogeymen - porn files - remain a
         slightly odd choice for religious fundamentalists using public
         net access terminals; on the plus side, you don't have to
         worry about a blanket ban on all steganography, because all
         digital watermarking systems also fall into that category.
         http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/22154.html
        - also unquestioned by Ananova, BBC News Online, The Guardian
http://people.ft.com/ft/gx.cgi/ftc?pagename=View&c=Article&cid=FT3G54ELIEC
            - "One password [...] took 35 days for Buchanan to crack"
http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/pipermail/ukcrypto/2001-October/017708.html
        - But why would *MI5* want more resources to monitor the net?

         You know, there was a time when we *dreamed* of having
         BBC1's WATCHDOG expose BT's secret policy of throttling ADSL
         bandwidth on specific high ports used by file-sharing
         clients. Hell, to have someone on the telly say any phrase
         in that sentence without drooling would have made our year.
         But now it's happened, we're a mite freaked. It doesn't make
         sense. Why did BT hide these ploys? If BT are concerned
         about bandwidth abuse, wouldn't it make sense to scare
         uneconomic customers away - or maybe kill them - as they
         have been doing to hardcore BT Anytime users? And if they
         went public, BT could make a strong argument for throttling:
         after all, it's not as if slow file-sharing is *that*
         problematic (your downloads take two evenings instead of
         one? horreur!). No, BT's sneakiness points to the flaw in
         their own plan: if their policy is widely known, it's
         trivially easy to circumvent. And unlike most of the
         entertaining arms races we're seeing in software these days,
         BT will always lose, because the smarter you try and make
         your network, the crappier it gets. BT: Bad network design;
         bad publicity; bad customer relations. Now things seem more
         comfortably familiar.
         http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/22163.html
         - hmm. we're sure this Register article said BT killed customers
http://www.btopenworld.com/business/static/business_conditions.html#8
- 8.10: "must not be used [...] in breach of any copyright". Ahem.
         http://www.bbc.co.uk/watchdog/reports/reports_wbtanytime2.shtml
                      - yeah, and where's anne robinson now? nowhere.

         Ooh, yes, terrible prospects for the tech world, ooh yes,
         much better if you look for something in marketing again.
         Okay, have they gone yet? Good. Fancy a job? We've got two
         vacancies kicking around, both guaranteed to save you from
         the careerwreck in the banking sector that the jobs market
         is currently wafting you toward. Not much money, but that
         was never the plan, was it? Traditional bastion of
         right-thinking folk THE FOUNDATION OF INFORMATION POLICY
         RESEARCH is still after Web designers for its site -
         volunteer initially, maybe salaried later (presumably when
         they get paid off by all those steganography-using
         terrorists). Same resume, different planet: the assistant
         editor slot at Venture Litterateur funded MUTE megazine is
         now open for applicants. Three days a week, 14K-16K,
         experience in writing and a "sound knowledge of contemporary
         culture and politics" required, although in our experience
         shouting drunkenly about 6502 assembler at parties is more
         than enough to impress them with your scene credentials.
         http://www.gorjuss.com/archives/00000035.html
                                      - what the last servant died of
http://www.xenoclast.org/free-sklyarov-uk-announce/2001-August/000003.html
                                - nah, it'll be fun: mail cb@fipr.org
         http://www.metamute.com/
 - no webpage for the job, ze lamerz: mail mute@metamute.com for info
http://amsterdam.nettime.org/Lists-Archives/nettime-l-0110/msg00070.html
- while you're at it, ask Hari where we can get the *real* Muslim Berts


                                >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         Kylie's new look wins major award, but is she DOG OR MONKEY?:
         http://www.ntk.net/2001/10/12/dohkylie.gif ... meanwhile, all
         ITN can think about: http://www.ntk.net/2001/10/12/dohitn.jpg
         ... maths special - a lot of money for one "well-timed shot":
         http://uk.news.yahoo.com/011004/80/c6isd.html ... UKP142m for
         import GAMECUBE: http://www.ntk.net/2001/10/12/dohn64.gif ...
         CHUCK NORRIS figures "fundamentalists like Bin Laden amount
         to 1/100th of one percent of the world's 1 billion Muslims":
    http://www.nationalenquirer.com/stories/feature.cfm?instanceid=15889
         - 1,000,000,000 * 0.01 * 0.01 = a reassuring 100,000... birth
         control the answer?: http://www.ntk.net/2001/10/12/dohiran.gif
         ... help rebuilding effort, keep AFGHANISTAN at top of pull-
         down menus: http://wdb1.caldera.com/sdir_web/owa/scodir_search
         ... FBI going all "chicken little" on us (according to URL):
         http://www.ntk.net/2001/10/12/fbidoh.jpg ... yes, I'm sorry
         to have to press you on this, but what exactly do you *do*?:
         http://www.gridcom.co.uk/faqs/ ... BBC hacking pic classic:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1468000/1468329.stm
         ... 500 copies of Nick Hornby novel - for the price of 594!:
         http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0575402377/ (vs:
         http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0140293450/ )... so,
         what might "ability to own a problem" be a euphemism for?:
       http://www.gojobsite.co.uk/showvac/VaVby3/4680763/909721060 ...


                               >> EVENT QUEUE <<
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         THE LOEBNER "ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE" PRIZE FOR GIMMICKY
         CHATBOT OF THE YEAR comes to London's Science Museum at some
         point tomorrow (Sat 2001-10-13), though if you prefer your
         off-the-wall-hypothesising to have some sort of point, there's
         also the ECOLOGICAL DESIGN ASSOCIATION's "10UP" event which
         includes "defining a vision for the next ten years" among its
         varied goals (from 9am, Sat 2001-10-13, UKP40, Conway Hall,
         London WC1). Sure, they're designers, so the results may not
         always be too practical - but you've got to admit, the guy who
         wants to know if "polymer acoustic guitars have any 'ecodesign
         advantages' over traditional wooden instruments" is definitely
         one to watch in the future.
         http://www.loebner.net/Prizef/loebner-prize.html
              - can't find anything on the Science Museum site, again
         http://www.biothinking.com/10up/whocome10.htm
                                     - next week: Anarchist Bookfair!


                                >> TRACKING <<
               sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering

         Matthew Westcott's MINIGAME competition rules were harsh,
         even by demo standards: but when you're cross posting to
         comp.sys.sinclair and comp.sys.cbm, you've got to be tough.
         Entries had to be a playable game; total code size had to be
         under 512 bytes or 2KB, excluding BASIC bootloader; and the
         game should run on the Commodore 64, ZX Spectrum, Amstrad
         CPC, or Atari 8 bit computers. Yeah, middle-class BBC Micro
         Fauntleroy's need not apply. The closing date was 2001-09-30
         (how retro is that?) but, ahh, now comes the judging. A 52KB
         zip gets you 22 C64 games, 6 Speccie specks, two CPC
         proglets, and one Atari shoo-in, "Asteraxis 2K". A great
         responsibility - and a good few hours messing with emulators
         - now befalls you. If you can fight through the
         understandable preponderance of Snake 'n' Tetris games in
         here, we're sure you'll find something to make you cry with
         the pain of lost innocence and fucked-up tape copies.
         Eight-bit is forever: completed voting forms are due 2001-11-09.
         http://demo.raww.net/minigame/
              - "Defend the Earth from an alphabetical alien attack."
         http://www.robsoft.co.uk/ultimate/misc/remakes.shtml
     - Ultimate remixes: like you'd see one of these under 512 bytes.


                                >> MEMEPOOL <<
                    source for the http://www.gagpipe.com/

         this year's scary HALLOWEEN COSTUME suggestions start right
         here: http://frozen-sahara.com/eliblob/tf-costume.jpg ,
         http://www.magicnet.net/~yak/pix/ja.jpg ... CHARGRILLED - to
         perfection: http://www.startribune.com/stories/484/740442.html
         ... http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/1356/cartoon2.htm
         elaborates (alarmingly) on http://www.brainbake.com/fpoll.asp
         ... what is it with PHOTOSHOP/GIMP users and their apparently
         limitless free time? http://www.touristofdeath.com ... "a
         new definition of 'frustration' [...] the melty wide-eyed
         hero-worshipping look from gorgeous twentysomething Korean
         college girls": http://tuxedo.org/~esr/writings/deep-kimchi/ -
         hope ESR didn't wander into the red-light area by mistake...
         is that what happens to people who ask "too many questions"?:
         http://www.ask.co.uk/reply.asp?ask=What+are+MI5+and+MI6%3F ...
         http://catless.ncl.ac.uk/Risks/21.68.html#subj11 imitates
         http://www.ubersoft.net/d/20000606.html ...another MATRIX actor
         "wakes up": http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,8926,00.html
         ... HAYSEED DIXIE vs AC/DC: http://www.dualtone.com/hayseed/
         ... anyone have a grab of the UK news show that displays
         "(T)he (W)ar (A)gainst (T)errorism" vertically next to pics of
         George Bush?... currently featuring entirely different "Steve"
         tribute: http://www.fuckedcompany.com/images/developers.mpeg
         (caution: adult content)... random metafilter generator:
       http://www.msu.edu/~baileyk6/generate.html vs meta generator filter:
       http://www.wrongwaygoback.com/designforlife/randomgenerator.shtml ...


                                >> GEEK MEDIA <<
                       the more regular www.tvgohome.com

         TV>> Debbie "Carrie Fisher's mum" Reynolds guests in the "is
         C-3PO gay?" episode of WILL AND GRACE (9.30pm, Fri, C4)...
         contemporary photorealist David Hockney's SECRET KNOWLEDGE
         (6.50pm, Sat, BBC2) argues painters of the past aren't as good
         as he is, and "cheated using mirrors"... while C4 seem to be
         launching some sort of unofficial sci-fi weekend with Starlab/
         Rodney Brooks/ some-guy-in-a-shed robotics face-off BATTLE OF
         THE ROBOTS: THE HUNT FOR AI (8pm, Sat, C4)... NTK's Ben Moor
         neglects to point out that "Sapphire" and "Steel" aren't
         technically "elements" in TOP TEN TV: SCI-FI (9pm, Sat, C4)...
         Mark Kermode, perhaps predictably, gets all excited over the
         uncompromising vision and graphic violence of the Alien films
         in ALIEN EVOLUTION (10.40pm, Sat, C4), inexplicably followed
         by bemused Philip K Dick adaptation SCREAMERS (12midnight,
         Sat, C4)... and maybe it's just us, but this ALIEN CONTACT
         docu (1.40pm, Sun, C4) sounds a lot like the old-Amiga-demo-
         featuring "What If: ET?" mockumentary shown on C5 a few weeks
         ago... black-and-white alleged "Alien" inspiration IT! THE
         TERROR FROM BEYOND SPACE (2.45pm, Sun, C4) memorably features
         pre-Apollo astronauts hunting an on-board xenomorph with a
         bazooka... tough call for Sigourney Weaver fans as ALIEN:
         RESURRECTION (10pm, Sun, C4) goes up against '70s domestic
         drama THE ICE STORM (9pm, Sun, BBC2), which also has Katie
         Holmes in it... and Steps and Shirley Bassey are viciously
         lampooned in this week's ROCK PROFILE (11pm, Sun, BBC2)... "a
         lot of vomiting" is promised in extreme "1940s House" followup
         PLAGUE, FIRE, WAR AND TREASON (9pm, Mon, C4)... C5's unique
         interpretation of "factual output" continues with a cheesy
         reconstruction of THE TUTANKHAMUN CONSPIRACY (8pm, Tue, C5),
         handily followed by their annual showing of groovy Mel Gibson/
         Patrick Stewart MK-Ultra thriller CONSPIRACY THEORY (9pm, Tue,
         C5)... similarly, dieting docu SKINNY WOMEN (9pm, Wed, C4) is
         educationally double-billed with ALLY MCBEAL (10pm, Wed, C4),
         then followed by another David E Kelley creation THE PRACTICE
         (11.35pm, Wed, BBC1), although Lara Flynn Boyle isn't in these
         "previously shown on Sky and ITV" early 1997 episodes...

         FILM>> pretty much the same feelgood teen filth as the first
         one, though this time there's a bit more of Alyson "Willow"
         Hannigan and you get to see the full "The Terminator" chat-up
         routine in AMERICAN PIE 2 (http://www.cndb.com/ : [Lisa
         Arturo] has small tit[s] with nice brown nipples; [Denise
         Faye] had bigger breasts with brown areolas but pink nipples;
         in the middle of the movie you get a full view of [Jason
         Biggs'] butt again after he glues his hand to his penis)...
         inexplicably, the craze for gross-out comedies seems to have
         passed Sean Penn and Jack Nicholson by, as they stick with
         glacial '70s-style smalltown child-murder character-study THE
         PLEDGE (http://www.screenit.com/movies/2001/the_pledge.html :
         We briefly see most of the underside of a woman's thigh)... or
         there's London-centric Nathan Barley "Human Traffic" remake
         SOUTH WEST 9 (http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : rated 18 for "drugs
         use, very strong language, sex and some violence") - so
         obscure it doesn't seem to even be in the imdb... while the
         "Flick/Fuck" confusion once again besets the Movie Chart
         Show's poster quote "A Fruity Flick Ripe For The Picking" for
         Oirish sex comedy PEACHES (http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : rated 15
         for "frequent strong language") - not, it appears, based on
         the Presidents Of The USA song of the same name...

         CONFECTIONERY THEORY>> a "biscuits and cereals" special this
         month, to commemorate both the coming of autumn and next
         week's WORLD ANTI-McDONALD'S DAY http://www.mcspotlight.org/ .
         Also their new MCCHICKEN TIKKA WRAP (UKP1.99) and MEGA MAC
         MEAL (UKP3.99) are a bit of a disappointment to be honest, and
         we didn't feel we could really compete with the comprehensive
         likes of http://www.horklezorp.com/entertainment/mcsauce/ ...
         anyway, following the example of Warren Ellis' "Stormwatch",
         KELLOGG's have subdivided their awesome CRUNCHY NUT brand into
         CRUNCHY NUT RED (from UKP1.89), setting aside the ingredients
         with greatest destructive capability - cranberry fruit pieces,
         yoghurt flavour flakes, and what can only be described as
         "slivers" of almond - for acts of deterrent display and
         retaliation. CRUNCHY NUT PRIME will now be assigned to address
         "supercereal threats in hotwar situations" - for instance,
         READY BREK's RIP, MIX AND MICRO (from UKP1.49, 6 sachets),
         which frankly don't seem to taste of anything much, let alone
         "Chocca Chocolate", "Saucy Strawberry" or "Bursting Banana".
         And the jury's still out on NESTLE'S "Lightly Sweetened Whole
         Wheat Cereal" SPORTIES, with their sinister "REVOLUTIONARY new
         Power Zone"... that "delicious yoghurt flavour topping" pops
         up again on the mildly uninteresting KELLOGG'S SPECIAL K BAR,
         but pseudo-health product of the month remains CADBURY'S
         chocolate-coated BRUNCH BAR, available in both hazelnut and
         raisin variants, and rivalling even CADBURY'S CARAMEL FINGERS
         (99p/125g) and limited edition TOFFEE APPLE MARYLAND COOKIES.
         Reader ALAN CONNOR reports TUNNOCK'S DARK CHOCOLATE CARAMEL
         WAFER - the firm's "first new product in living memory" - "has
         a Rich Tea sophistication which almost makes up for in class
         what it lacks in the pure Scottish sugar-and-fat hit of the
         original". And Cyrillic ingredients appear on the tasty new
         "Double Choc" and "Tangy Orange" flavours of BURTON'S SPECIAL
         EDITION WAGON WHEELS because Russia apparently constitutes a
         major export market for these decadent Wild Western delicacies
         ... you'll probably want to wash all that down with a glass or
         two of LUVLY LATTE FRIJJ, TOP TOFFEE GULP (59p), Nestle's "Hot
         When You Want" self-heating cans of NESCAFE ORIGINAL (now back
         on trial in Birmingham), or even INTERCONTINENTAL BRANDS' ANT
         NATURAL STIMULATION soft drink (99p/275ml), a fruit juice
         featuring the great taste of red and black Asian Mountain ants
         - available from pubs and pet shops, presumably...


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
                       Registered at the Post Office as
              "trolling so fine we thought we'd let him have it"
                http://www.subclear.com/New%20HTML%20Page1.htm

                                 NEED TO KNOW
            THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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