__ __ _2001-12-28 _ _____ _ __
| \/ (_)_ __ (_) \ | |_ _| |/ / o Join! mail an empty message to
| |\/| | | '_ \| | \| | | | | ' / o firstname.lastname@example.org
| | | | | | | | | |\ | | | | . \ o Website (+ archive) lives at:
|_| |_|_|_| |_|_|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\ o http://www.ntk.net/ "If you publish next Friday you need help."
- MARC INGRAM, personal correspondence, 2001-12-21
>> YEAR END COMPO <<
going out with style sheets
How very right you are, Mr Ingram. Given our failed
Newtonmas taunting of The Register by a public-school style
"detagging": http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/31/23511.html ,
the abandoned midair destruction of Perl eurohacker Leon Brocard:
and recent misspellings of both Kieren McCarthy *and* Dmitry
Sklyarov in dispatches, we could do with a break. We'll be
back from the retraining exercise at Minas Morgul on
Meanwhile, we do indeed "need help". Acting from orders from
readers who believe non-proportional fonts to be Ye Devile's
Scrawl, we've revamped the NTK frontpage. It still appears
exactly the same (of course!), but a closer look at the HTML
will show that we've now parsed the newsletter more tightly,
and slung some SPAN tags into the mix. Now all it needs to
be turned into something that even a designer could love is
a slinky CSS stylesheet. Which brings us to our problem:
One of Santa's naughty pixies sneaked into our brains over
Christmas and made us too lazy and untalented to write
decent CSS2. The best we could do is this near-monstrosity:
... which sucks, but gives you the general idea. Change that
"style" parameter to any URI, and you'll see NTK through
your own CSS choices. Send your homegrown CSS2 stylesheet to
us, and you could see your code garland the official "fancy"
alternative NTK Webpage. Also, you'll get an NTK shirt of
some kind. Prizes will be awarded for best real stylesheet
that we can use, and funniest alternative. Code has to look
good on Mozilla, Opera, and IE6, no prizes for cross-site
script hacking, you naughty monkeys. If you need extra tags,
let us know and we'll see what we can do. Not much, we fear.
- doomed even when we roped in Craig from Big Brother
- we're the kiss of death to the Web Standards Project though, thank god
[ Just to reassure all those scared-stiff correspondents:
we're not planning to switch from Courier. The stylesheet
stuff will remain a heavily-concealed option. We're flexible,
but we're not Zeldman-level *crazies*. ]
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
get out less
TV>> it's the battle of the inadvertent Elite t-shirt product
placements, with reader Alex "nuttyxander.com" Ingram and
NTK's own "Dave Green" predicting appearances on the redhead
bit of today's ROYAL INSTITUTION CHRISTMAS LECTURES (12noon,
Fri; 4am, Thu, C4), and the BBC's BUSINESS BREAKFAST (from
6am, Sat?, BBC2) respectively... Tamzin "Eastenders" Outhwaite
plays a no-nonsense army sysadmin hunting down a cabal of
renegade Debian users in RED CAP (9pm, Fri, BBC1)... and
"Despite Warnings, Stubborn Mayor Refuses To Cancel Local
Festivities" once again in JAWS (10.55pm, Fri, BBC1) - last
shown Nov 2000... yes, THE ENGLISH PATIENT (9pm, Sat, BBC2)
has more nudity, but "The Terminator" is a "more satisfying
love story": http://www.sweetbomb.com/cameron/love.htm ...
given the title, THE 100 GREATEST TV TREATS OF THE YEAR
(9.15pm, Sat, C4) seem unlikely to include 2001's most heavily
repeated footage of planes crashing into buildings... and
who'd have thought it, but Mark Kermode is a fan of cult Brit
handicrafts horror THE WICKER MAN (12.20am, Sat; 11.40pm, Mon,
C4)... THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE (7.35pm, Sun, BBC2) isn't that
great, but still an improvement over similar high-concept
conformo-parables THE TRUMAN SHOW (9pm, Sun, BBC1) and
PLEASANTVILLE (10pm, Mon, BBC2)... young Superman Roswell-
alike SMALLVILLE (4.45pm, Mon, C4) *is* broadly consistent
with the new non-Superboy DC continuity ... SHAKESPEARE IN
LOVE (9.30pm, Tue, BBC1) is handily balanced by a look at the
making of 1982's "The Number Of The Beast" album in ROCK
CLASSICS: IRON MAIDEN (11.45pm, Tue, C5)... as a patchy
selection of horror and sci-fi sees you into the New Year, in
the form of post-modern "Scream" prequel WES CRAVEN'S NEW
NIGHTMARE (12.05am, Wed, C4), dire comic-book comedy MEN IN
BLACK (8pm, Thu, BBC1), above-average SNL-spinoff CONEHEADS
(12.35am, Thu, BBC1), and Cronenberg's atypically entertaining
SCANNERS (12.15am, Thu, C4)...
FILM>> not much new at the cinema so, as ever, we've tried to
assemble a "Best Of 2001" list consisting of films which
preferably don't appear on anyone else's "Best Of" lists or,
where possible, appear on their "Worst Of" lists instead.
("Shrek" eventually won out over "Final Fantasy: The Spirits
Within", though, for being more convincingly animated.) And
the winners are: 10. SHREK, 9. STARTUP.COM, 8. DRIVEN, 7. A
KNIGHT'S TALE, 6. BEST IN SHOW, 5. THE DISH, 4. ZOOLANDER, 3.
ALMOST FAMOUS, and 2. SWORDFISH, making NTK's no.1 Film Of The
Year Tom Green's rawly personal "transgressive masterpiece"
FREDDY GOT FINGERED. History - and the video release - will
prove us right... which means our "Worst Of" list can focus on
ones that everyone else claimed were really good, or that were
just wildly disappointing for some other reason. Namely (in no
particular order): PLANET OF THE APES, GHOST WORLD, THE FAST
AND THE FURIOUS, EVOLUTION, ANTITRUST, AI, HANNIBAL, AMELIE,
CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON, TRAFFIC and, for scintillating
underachievement even by videogame movie standards, TOMB
RAIDER. You have been warned, Hollywood - dare you disappoint
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
Registered at the Post Office as
"c'mon, even 'The Face' managed to get our URL right"
("Seven Wonders Of The Web" runners-up, Guardian Online, Thu 2001-12-27)
NEED TO KNOW
THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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