Need To Know 2001-12-14

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2001-12-28
MiniNTK #14
CSS Sera Sera

2001-12-21
#225
Kieren McCarthy Christmas tits tribute special

2001-12-14
#224
Good news is old news!

2001-12-07
#223
Demon learns a lesson, mh for Mac, twat or anti-twat?

2001-11-30
#222
NCS vs NNTP, XPrez vs XP

2001-11-23
#221
Weddings, Winnings and Winer

2001-11-16
#220
Black Ice and other signs of Autumn

2001-11-09
#219
Left, near the Middle

2001-11-02
#218
Here come de judgement

2001-10-26
#217
More career-limiting moves

2001-10-19
#216
Those pesky kids

2001-10-12
#215
Throttles of gear, pieces of eight

2001-10-05
#214
With laws like these, who needs new ones?

2001-09-28
#213
Return of the straw man argument, curiously BBC obsessed otherness

2001-09-21
#212
`hostname` security department, semi-annual LIVE slagging

2001-09-14
#211
The "You should have seen what they *wanted* us to put" Edition

2001-09-07
#210
Opinions legal, irrational, and prejudicial

2001-08-31
MiniNTK #14
Back to school Burning Man bonanza

2001-08-24
#209
porn, pr0n, and pawns

2001-08-17
#208
Imagine there's no money left, it's easy if you try

2001-08-10
#207
Death of everything predicted, .mpg at 11

2001-08-03
#206
More Dmitry, dancing Ballmer, cheeky brass monkeys

2001-07-27
#205
Squelching bugs, silencing critics, coveting your neighbour's cache

2001-07-20
#204
Adobe Incriminator, RBL quibbles, T-Shirts Classique

2001-07-13
#203
Casualties of Browser War, Stupid Hash Joke

2001-07-06
MiniNTK #13
future attractions, usual distractions

2001-06-29
MiniNTK #12
Free beer, stuff we don't want to hear

2001-06-22
MiniNTK #11
Poptastic parody special

2001-06-15
MiniNTK #10
Wonka Oompas, more Fruit of the Moon

2001-06-08
#202
No, I said Doug Rushkoff *above* Constrict Anus 100 Times Malarkey

2001-06-01
#201
Monkey minifigs, free-the-Henson workshop

2001-05-25
#200
Especially vindictive birthday edition

2001-05-18
#199
NDAed NMA, JK's PKI, ACC's SFAs

2001-05-11
#198
libel sell-by, interface bye-bye, mah-lah borg-ay

2001-05-04
#197
sleeket, cowrin, tim'rous MSFTie!

2001-04-27
#196
MayDay, DumbCode, DotOnes

2001-04-20
#195
Tank Police, Tanked TV

2001-04-13
MiniNTK #9
The Short Good Friday Mini-NTK

2001-04-06
#194
Wireless' next trick, Shockwave Scalextric

2001-03-30
#193
Registering the troublemakers, troublemaking The Register

2001-03-23
#192
Yay, downturn and stately Xanadu

2001-03-16
#191
Vorderman rude, dastardly Motley sued

2001-03-09
#190
Nickers and Breaches, Shirts and "Pants"

2001-03-02
#189
Manx, Cranks, and Arty Wanks

2001-02-23
#188
Keymasters of the Gateway, Manic Nostalgia Miners, Finnish Film Roundup

2001-02-16
#187
Dirty domaining, Dodgy Demon, and Dimwit Mail

2001-02-09
#186
Pissy Noho, Alleged Ali, and the Sputnik

2001-02-02
#185
Never mind /dev/bollocks, here's KPMG

2001-01-26
#184
putting the "Nervous" into DNS, Schnews, and those damn dirty apes

2001-01-19
#183
Ivan, Lotto and Dav(r)os

2001-01-12
#182
Fracas, Faxers, and WAPpers

2001-01-05
#181
"First F00ting", Athame with the NSA, more bloody ASCII art

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"Weight-control specialist Christopher Still, MD, says the three Ns - Nickelodeon, Netscape, and Nintendo - are playing a large role in the obesity epidemic among children." ...MSN's health site plants some intriguing subliminal branding http://content.health.msn.com/content/article/3606.1052 - here at Microsoft, we keep the bloat in the browser >> HARD NEWS << news you'd rather lose They said that a bunch of geeks waving placards would do nothing to free DMITRY SKYLAROV. And they said that whining about obscure Net-torturing provisions in already drafted legislation would change nothing. And we believed them, too. It's lucky that other people are more foolishly optimistic than that. After all, it'd be fair to claim that adverse publicity of the Skylarov case contributed heavily to everyone's DMCA poster-boy being released yesterday: especially Adobe's boycott-prompted wish that Dmitry's prosecution be dropped. And while UK government defeats during the final stages of legislation are almost unheard of, the data retention clause in the Anti-Terrorism Act was one of the few to get shot down. Out goes the condition that ISP logs can be kept and examined for detecting any crime. Now, as heavily lobbied by those "aery-faery" and naive civil libertarians, it has to be proper *terrorist* crime. Mr Blunkett, in conceding the amendment, commented that the logs would have to be kept anyway, to see whether they were terrorists or not, and "that is how stupid the Liberal Democrats [and their Tory supporters, presumably] are." Let's see how stupid the human rights judges, and the Data Protection folk are when they get to work on this. Meanwhile, here's to another year of stupid protestors and their clearly impossible victories. http://makeashorterlink.com/?N1B025B3 - the day's Hansard": search, as ever, for 'stupid' http://www.eff.org/IP/DMCA/US_v_Sklyarov/20011213_eff_pr.html - putting the free into eff Top "thinking outside the box" marks to the BRIGHTON NEW MEDIA mailing list, who may just have solved the problems of irrelevance and poor attendance that have bedevilled so many of this year's new media awards. As well as devising rather more honest categories ("The Sinclair C5 Award for Design, Style and Usability", "The Ian Paisley Award for Online Statesmanship & Community Bonding" etc), the folks behind the NERDY ceremony, attended by a crowd of 40 in Brighton this Wednesday, were able to ensure that many of the recipients would be present to receive their gongs - via the ingenious tactic of giving most of them to each other and their friends. Nonetheless, co-organiser (and four-time nominee) JO CHIPCHASE earnestly emphasised the scrupulously democratic nature of the voting system ("IP addresses could be tracked, if necessary"), and the fact that two-time winner Mike Halsey had merely "organised the party" where the awards were being held - so nothing sinister going on there. C'mon guys - if you want to be taken seriously as a new media accolade, you need to work out an impenetrable judging system where *all* the awards go to cronies of yours that nobody else has ever heard of. http://screen-play.net/NERDYS/details.html - sadly, ratemypoo.com couldn't make it http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?back=2001/now0615.txt&line=26#l - if only globalfarmers had gone for "rate my manure" GOOGLE's list of USENET firsts - published to celebrate the new 20-year archive is ... riveting. Not because someone bleating about waiting "to see all nine parts of Star Wars" was the first mention of Phantom Menace (1982). No - it's because it's Randall "Perl Fugitive from Justice" Schwartz doing the bleating. USENET was the hatching ground for many of computing's leaders, and looking back over two decades, we see a remarkable consistency in their youth. Perl missionary Larry Wall initially appears in the archive exploring the nature of salvation - in Return of the Jedi ("there is an afterlife, however holographic it may be"). Idealist Jamie Zawinski characteristically introduces himself while fuming about various historical injustices - notably, the replacement of Wookies with Ewoks. And if it's not Star Wars that inspired our young leaders, it's the next best thing. One of John Gilmore's first posts is a quibble about the accuracy of the phrase "fish taco" in certain unspecified contexts. And surely no-one would think of posting to alt.support.herpes under their *own names*? Think we're giving links? Come on - it's the triumphant return of the USENET scavenger hunt! http://www.google.com/googlegroups/archive_announce_20.html - where's carasso? http://groups.google.com/ - posting could cost you hundreds if not thousands of dollars in legal fees http://catalogs.google.com/ - next, ze world >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious "Drink or Die [...] is, in turn, believed to be part of an international piracy network known as Warez", reveals GUARDIAN: http://www.guardian.co.uk/internetnews/story/0,7369,617641,00.html - arch-enemy of international media cartel known as "Movies, Games and Videos"... TIM B-L "widely credited" by BBC with inventing internet: http://www.ntk.net/2001/12/14/dohtim.gif ... "success" of Yahoo!, eBay, ENRON "can't be explained" muses: http://www.hbsp.harvard.edu/hbsp/prod_detail.asp?R0101G ... "the film Trainspotting introduced the world to the rail- loving hobby", clarifies BBC's "cultural gap" correspondent: http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/world/europe/newsid_1668000/1668860.stm ... CASES OF THE MISSING MILLIONS - telco market bottoms out: http://www.ntk.net/2001/12/14/dohcolt.gif , CHRIS EVANS needier than thought: http://www.ntk.net/2001/12/14/dohevans.gif ... thrilling "screen shot from the smash hit Unreal Tournament": http://softwaredev.earthweb.com/sdtech/article/0,,12065_936561,00.html - they need a site like HALF-LIFE SCREENGRABS UNLIMITED: http://www.guardian-online.co.uk/ ... H&M? H&P, more like: http://qwer.org/widdecombeoftheweek011214 ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful We've got to admit, we've yet to be informed exactly how we're "supporting" tonight's LONDON 2600 XMAS PARTY (from 7pm, Fri 2001-12-14, WebsHack cybercafe, Dean St, Soho), but we'll probably turn up (about the same time you receive this mail), inquire politely about the bar prices, and maybe show the "banned" Lone Gunmen hijacked-plane-aimed-at-the-World-Trade- Center video - that sort of thing. Then we'll have a bigger event around May of next year to commemorate NTK'S OFFICIAL 5TH BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION, so you've got plenty of time to let us know what you'd like to see (or do) at it. Or at the very least, clear your diary. http://www.spy.org.uk/cgi-bin/xmas-party.pl - and maybe a VHS of Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Musical http://www.cybersalon.org/ - Richard Barbrook presents his Christmas speech to the nation http://www.interlog.com/~porteous/festivus.html - a Festivus... for the rest-iv-us >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering Sadly, due to a communications mixup with PR monkey dicks, we don't have a Gameboy Advance *or* a GBA Flash Cartridge programmer. In all honesty then, we can't say we've exhausively tested FOON, Strags' new ZX Spectrum Emulator for the GBA. Tesla-like, though, we have emulated it perfectly in our heads - and what's not to admire? We liked that the Gameboy series has reached a sophistication that allows it to be a emulatix as well as an emulatand. We like the Speccie. We like that the author has been frantically cranking out updates to Foon for weeks on his site. We even like that he asked "Is it considered bad form to try and plug your own stuff in NTK?" too. It is bad form, Strags: but we *reward* bad form. http://foon.pocketheaven.com - hint, hint, Father Christmas http://zxadvance.gbaemu.com/ - not yet tested in our heads >> MEMEPOOL << ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ makers of MONOPOLY inadvertently end up imitating THE ONION: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,617906,00.html , http://www.theonion.com/onion3614/parker_brothers_monopoly.html ... foreign-language anticonsumer all-your-base-style FLASH: http://www.verylowsodium.com/fanimutation/exuberance.php ... when oh when will the public tire of online TURNER PRIZE parodies: http://www.informationwantstobefree.com/creedalizer , http://www.imperica.com/art/turnerprize/ ... life imitates JEFF MINTER: http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/world/south_asia/newsid_1705000/1705341.stm - vs http://home.dal.net/shrub/mountain/photoshops/ ... typing rude words into http://www.m-w.com/cool/press/webaudio.htm , singing along with http://oozak.caseyporn.com/listen.php ... WTC UFO WTF?: http://www2.justnet.ne.jp/~kiti/Ufo/fs/fs.htm ... if you can't read this, maybe we're just too "worthless": http://www.ositis.com/english/products/pd_smartfilterlist_en.asp#wt ... "It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. But it *can* be purchased online here for as little as $4.99": http://catalog.belkin.com/IWCatProductPage.process?Product_Id=38067 ... "illustration does not depict recommended maintenance procedure": http://www.xitel.com/support.htm ... >> GEEK MEDIA << the less trailered www.tvgohome.com TV>> C5's cheap 'n' confusingly transatlantic clip-show THE GREATEST TV COPS OF ALL TIME (8.15pm, Sat, C5) unlikely to rival the insights of http://kreskytv.com/everything.html ... the unthrillingly live and dangerous BRITISH COMEDY AWARDS (9pm, Sat, ITV) segue neatly into nuclear exploding helicopter hilarity BROKEN ARROW (10.15pm, Sat, BBC1)... and Malcolm "Clockwork Orange" McDowell explores what Hogwarts would be like if the kids had automatic weapons instead of spells in IF (12.30am, Sat, BBC2) - more entertaining than Cronenberg low- budgeter THE BROOD (12.50am, Sat, C4) and the similarly themed puberty-confronting body-horror MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS: THE MOVIE (5.10pm, Sun, C5)... "ordinary Americans" boldly deny allegations of their country's "global arrogance" in CORRESPONDENT (7.15pm, Sun, BBC2)... Jennifer Lopez's breasts - and Sean Penn's ass - are "briefly visible" towards the end of Oliver Stone's knockabout smalltown comedy U-TURN (10pm, Sun, C4)... and both THE SOUTH BANK SHOW (Sun, 11pm, Sun) and OMNIBUS (6.45pm, Sat, BBC2) attempt a ratings-boost by ditching their usual arts coverage in favour of "The Making Of: The Lord Of The Rings"... as WW2 rages on in THE BATTLE OF HOOD AND BISMARCK (9pm, Mon & Tue, C4), Pamela Anderson takes a look at the lighter side of the conflict in nipple-packed "Casablanca" remake BARB WIRE (10.35, Mon, C4)... a funnier ending to otherwise excellent biometric-security-critique GATTACA (10.35pm, Tue, C5) would have Ethan Hawke boarding a spaceship secretly carrying gallons of other people's wee... leaving you with a choice of a STEPTACULAR CHRISTMAS (7pm, Thu, C5), NIGELLA BITES CHRISTMAS (8pm, Thu, C4), VETS IN PRACTICE AT CHRISTMAS (8pm, Thu, BBC1), HAVE YOURSELF A VERY EIGHTIES CHRISTMAS (10.45pm, Thu, C4), or a sci-fi pilot from the increasingly unwatchable COMEDY LAB (11.40pm, Thu, C4)... FILM>> apparently it threatens to be even bigger than Peter Jackson's previous magnum opus, "Bad Taste", and this year's "Planet Of The Apes" *put together*, but simultaneous global release dates seem to have restricted the VCD previews of THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING (imdb: based-on- novel / epic / middle-earth / sword-and-sorcery / ancient / castle / dwarf / elf / goblin / good-versus-evil / halfling / orc / hobbit) - out this Wednesday, full review next week... otherwise there's Tilda Swinton - from Orbital's "The Box" video - in the "Suture" guys' arthouse suspense-noir remake THE DEEP END (http://www.cndb.com/ : [Swinton's] dark nipples are definitely visible through her wet undershirt, but we never get a decent view)... it's Ali "Varsity Blues" Larter, Ronny "Total Recall" Cox and Colin "Ballykissangel" Farrell - together at last! - in explosive neo-Western AMERICAN OUTLAWS (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/americanoutlaws.htm : gunfire deaths, many, some graphic - not considered murder since they were due to warfare or other military/police action; open mouth kissing; flippant talk of killing)... or a limited-re-release for the start of David Lynch's slide into wilful suburban weirdness, BLUE VELVET (http://www.cndb.com/ : we briefly see [Isabella Rossellini's] ass, a breast, and even her bush. Then, near the end of the film, we get a distant full frontal shot of her, and a close look at her breasts. Then we see a bit more when she goes into a car, and once she's inside a house; [Rosselini] holds [Kyle "Dune Guy" MacLachlan] at knifepoint and forces him to strip. We see his beautiful ass and a get a good frontal shot. For embarrassment fetishists, this is a 4-star must-see)... THE "VICTORIAN AFFECTATION">> What's that? You live outside the UK and are therefore too late to order a fashionable "They Stole Our Revolution" FBI-style NTK jacket (US$30) from http://www.ntkmart.com/ ? But you've accidentally run your thumb over a few PRINGLES tubes in the supermarket and wrote down the Amazon UKP2 gift voucher codes, pretending you were making frantic last-minute modifications to your shopping list? Well, your first stop should of course be our official bestsellers list at http://www.ntk.net/books/ , which shows that, this month, NTK readers have been mostly reading drug- crazed Tolkien-parody BORED OF THE RINGS (a high new entry, with 6 sales so far), while the lower reaches of the chart reflect the seasonal mood turning towards love poetry, erotic anime, programmable logic controllers, the novels of Brian "AI" Aldiss, and the wit of Jerry Seinfeld - enough, we hope, for some lucky recipient to construct their own humanoid sex robot, then make jokes about it afterwards... not on the list yet is Charlie Brooker's slimline scatology TV GO HOME (UKP7.99) http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1841156752/needtoknow0e - not drawing on the online archive as much as we'd expected, possibly with a view to a followup publication next year? For the boffin in the family, Steven Johnson's EMERGENCE: THE CONNECTED LIVES OF ANTS, BRAINS, CITIES AND SOFTWARE (UKP11.99) http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0713994002/needtoknow0e is already being described round here as "Kevin Kelley's 'Out Of Control' - but for people who read books", while resident NTK fanboy BEN MOOR was characteristically uncritical of Frank Miller's DC-continuity-flaunting Batman vs Superman sequel DK2: THE DARK STRIKES AGAIN (only in comic stores, around UKP5.95 - http://www.dccomics.com/features/dk2/dk2.html ). And rounding off this Editors' Selection of tomes you could probably print most of off the net if you could really be bothered to, kudos to reader MARTIN DODGE for mentioning NTK on page 158 of his co-authored ATLAS OF CYBERSPACE (UKP30): http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0201745755/needtoknow0e which combines an academic introduction to critical map- reading with gorgeous coffee-table-style abstractions of the Mbone, newsgroups and MOOs. "Could it be 'The Visual Display of Quantitative Information' for the 21st century?" we wondered (but were unable to answer, as we haven't read Ed Tufte's original yet)... other than that, you're stuck with Amazon's own slightly bizarre suggestions - for mums with a sense of humour, Anne Robinson's MEMOIRS OF AN UNFIT MOTHER: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/tg/feature/-/222593/ - but let's face it, Granny's hardly going to notice that you got her two copies of WEST SIDE STORY on video - nos 8 and 16 at Amazon's own slightly bizarre suggestions - for mums with a sense of humour, Anne Robinson's MEMOIRS OF AN UNFIT MOTHER: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/tg/feature/-/222593/ - but let's face it, Granny's hardly going to notice that you got her two copies of WEST SIDE STORY on video - nos 8 and 16 at http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/tg/feature/-/95184/ . And yes, it's hard to resist great opportunities to "Save 20%" on the award-winning JIMMY CORRIGAN: THE SMARTEST KID ON EARTH: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0224062107/needtoknow0e - "List Price: UKP10. Our Price: UKP14.40. You Save: UKP3.60"... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "A WHOLE LINE OF YELLING" http://spamassassin.taint.org/tests.html NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.geekstyle.co.uk/ (K) 2001 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.