Need To Know 2001-10-19

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"Copperfield said he is not tempted to play the lottery himself because he would not be able to 'see' the numbers. 'I used to try it out by giving friends the numbers, but then it would never work,' he said. 'If the numbers aren't kept secret, it doesn't work.'" http://www.thescotsman.co.uk/text_only.cfm?id=116404 ...magicians subject to "observer effect" just like everyone else >> HARD NEWS << flight of the mongooos Worried that you don't understand technology enough to see what your kids are doing online? Why not solve the problem with *more* technology? THE SUNDAY TIMES asked its readers to participate in a "unique study" last week - by installing a keyboard logger, perusing the logs of their kid's Net activities, then filling in a simple questionnaire. "It is however important to obtain a true sample of internet activity, and not to alert the child to the software and so defeat the object of the exercise", the paper advised. Yes, this blanket surveillance is for *science*. Well, someone should point out that, without consent, WORDWATCHER's research breaches the Marketing Research Council's code of practice (because let's face it, this *is* just user testing for Demetron), standard scientific research ethics, and, hey, could be criminally illegal under the RIP Act. Also, it's a *FREAKING VISUAL BASIC KEYLOGGER* they're flogging. It records *everything* - passwords, credit card details - in an easily readable file. In any other context, the press would be railing against this as a Evil Hacker's Tool. The ST warns that Wordwatcher may cause "friction": they don't know the half of it. It could be used to spy on spouses or workmates, or installed at cybercafes to harvest passwords. It's also *fantastically* badly written: it stores the spyer's main password in plaintext, and despite some reassuring-looking bleating, can be examined or turned off with a minimum of hassle, as one precocious brat has already pointed out. Go wild, kids. And when your mum or dad asks what happened, sit them down and tell them these important lessons: no security in obscurity, and never, *ever* download from strangers. Especially the Visual Basic-using ones. http://www.sunday-times.co.uk/news/pages/sti/2001/10/14/stidordor03002.html - "My name is - my name is - my name is - Slim Shady!" http://www.geocities.com/cypherpunk5/ - once again, attacking our own http://www.marketresearch.org.uk/documents/children%20and%20young%20people.rtf - "Guideline for Research among Children and Young People" http://www.mrc.ac.uk/ethics_b.html - in our day, kids were considered "fixtures and fittings" It's JAM ECHELON Day on Sunday, although encouraging a glut of e-mails including keywords like "terrorism", "biowarfare", "middle east", and "war" does seem a *bit* superfluous right now. To lighten the load, we'll keep our traditional hand-wringing over Blunkett's new anti-t-rr-r-sm provisions to a minimum. Basically, he's "enabling" ISP's (and behind the scenes, hinting that it may become compulsory) to keep logs of website addresses, mail headers, and newsgroup articles read by subscribers, contra the Data Protection Act's provisions and the Registrar's protestations. We'll see where this one leads: old NTK-a-quote Caspar "Kafka" Bowden points out that this is pretty much what the National Criminal Intelligence Service was haggling for last year, so expect it to seamlessly become permanent at some point. Fnord. http://cipherwar.com/echelon/ - oh, apparently we just have to say "echelon" this year http://stats.bltc.net/www.schnews.org.uk/site_200108.html - nice to see SCHNEWS doing GCHQ's work for them http://makeashorterlink.com/?T2AE1251 - it's the home office's site that's defeated us this week Hardware manufacturers never know quite which way to jump over copy protection, but rarely do you see this dilemma literally played out on their corporate websites. As well as offering secure networks which "eliminate the potential for losing millions of dollars due to downtime or e-piracy", NOKIA were, until recently, playing up the e-piracy potential of their Nokia 5510 integrated FM radio MP3 ripper - illustrated by a cartoon called "Mongo" who records his favourite songs off the radio and his friends' CDs. And then downloads them to his PC, his friends' 5510s, and so on. The page was removed this week but, at time of writing, the original .gif is still there. Still, if "Mongo" means the same sort of thing in Scandinavia, maybe they could claim it's actually an *anti*-piracy campaign - "Trading MP3s? That's for the mentally handicapped, dude!" http://www.nokia.com/phones/5510/pics/mongo_strip600.gif - or, just in case: http://www.ntk.net/2001/10/19/dohmong.png http://www.log.dial.pipex.com/playground/html/m.htm - search for "merciless". You spazzos. >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious Ken Livingstone can't shut him up, neither can Saudi "local officials": http://www.ntk.net/2001/10/19/dohblair.png (final para)... "Widdecombe" of the week - you *can* do it when you: http://www.geocities.com/sohobonobo/bq/bq.html ... DABS http://www.dabs.com/news/news-article.asp?article=1403 proudly sponsoring "suicidal" private manned rocket plans: http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1407000/1407210.stm ... BBC pics of week: "Electric yellow jellyfish tentacles attack IBM PC-XT through hamster cage set in Tron universe": http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1606000/1606862.stm - and "Ensure monitor is *off* before cyber-attacking it": http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1601000/1601823.stm ... http://allinson.hiway.co.uk/join/ ponders "Do you have access to the internet?"... vs "I'd like to report a power out-": http://www.fpl.com/report/contents/power_outage.shtml ... eek-ee-eek-EEK! http://www.batdetective.com/gallery.html ... worst simulated wink since that Tux the Penguin one: http://www.daimlerchrysler.de/company/campaign/mot1/ad1_e.htm (requires Flash, sorry)... FALCO 451.com and, spectacularly, BACKSPACE: http://www.ntk.net/2001/10/19/dohbckspc.jpg ... competitor FUD?: http://www.penny-arcade.com/xboxfiles.php3 ... and with "success fees" like these, who needs failures?: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/aponline/20011014/aponline141728_000.htm >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful You know how it is - you spend years promoting your non- violent brand of direct action anti-capitalism, then a small minority goes and steals all the limelight by crashing a couple of planes into a building. Undeterred, the UK's annual ANARCHIST BOOKFAIR seem determined to reclaim their previous anti-globalisation market share with a fancy new venue (Camden Centre, Euston Rd, London WC1, from 10am, Sat 2001-10-20, free), plus an (admittedly appropriated) corporate slogan - "Just do it", and celebrity guests including representatives from IndyMedia, the Discordians, and Alice Nutter out of Chumbawumba. That said, the "Delroy Lindo" who'll be speaking about his harassment by Haringey police appears to be an entirely different one to the movie star best known for playing law enforcement officers in films like "Ransom" and "Gone In 60 Seconds", though the "Adam Porter" who now runs YEAR ZERO magazine *does* appear to be the same guy who used to edit the famously radical website for "Loaded" online. http://www.yearzero.org/ - sex tips of Britain's filthiest road protesters - INSIDE! http://www.anarchistbookfair.org/ - it's not a creche, it's a "Self empowered youth space" http://www.commonground.org.uk/Apple_Day.html - then on Sun, Apple Day. *Fuck* the Interactive BAFTAs, man! >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering For anyone who wouldn't fall over so much if they got twenty goes at each tottering step, the original BRIDGE BUILDER was great. You got a closed 2D surface, with a riverbank on each side. You clicked up a bridge out of girders, watch it fall under its own weight, then fiddled and fiddled until it stood the stress test of a train crossing. It felt very intellectual, and now it's peerrrty too: PONTIFEX, the 3D sequel is here. Of course, the openGLy stuff is all just "SuperTetrisDeluxe" window-dressing - underneath it's still the same old, plain old, in-one-plane Bridge Builder. The main differences are two new materials (including long- dreamt-of steel cable), and - acting as a massive disincentive to build stable creations - a flotilla of 3D-illustrated splashes, creaks, and twangs when it all goes wrong. Oh and you can watch it go SPANG from the comfort of the train too. And you get more money in your budget. Talking of which: Twenty New World Order Dollars buys you the registered version: funkier bridges (with high-rise decks), a kilobrunel of bad-ass creeks to cross, keeps the designers from having to eat each other to survive, etc. http://www.chroniclogic.com/ - all other reviews will say "fits on a floppy" as though it is a bad thing >> MEMEPOOL << that warm bit under the http://www.gagpipe.com/ "Pikachu, use your paddling pool defence!" "Anthrax, I choose - you!": http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/world/americas/newsid_1597000/1597496.stm ... 17" monitor believed "average": http://www.anawesomedick.com/ ... "wank" means something different in the US, apparently: http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/Forum60/HTML/000021.html ... WTC attacks were plea for indie filmmaking, says OLIVER STONE: http://abc.go.com/entertainment/news/2001/10/oliverstoneflak101501.html - while life, pro-am golf game must go on for MICHAEL DOUGLAS: http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/entertainment/film/newsid_1604000/1604151.stm ... so *when* did they start advertising these positions?: http://www.fbijobs.com/FBIJobDesc.asp?r=54818796&JC=001402 ... DARWIN AWARDS 2002, brought to you in conjunction with EBAY: http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=596035762 ... Mac users harboured by sympathetic regime in TURKMENISTAN: http://www.leb.net/hzo/ioscount/data/top.domains.9904.mac.txt - vs greater MS localisation: http://trollied.org/geordie.gif ... you know, pics instead of ALT tags would only spoil it: http://www.attackofthegiantpastyman.com ... GRNNY S THT U?: http://www.cotse.net/users/spirit/press/spirit-world-in-crisis.jpg ... Brit humour site declines to imitate ONION shocker: http://www.framleyexaminer.com/ ... low-tech ingenuity wins again: http://shingoz.20megsfree.com/images/radiation.jpg ... look, hurry up and fill in the other squares will you, then we can all go home: http://totl.net/Memes/memes.php ... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> there's an hour-long "highlights special" of TOP OF THE POPS GOES LARGE (7pm, Fri, BBC1), though how they'll stretch it out to that duration is anyone's guess... wonder if there's a Northern-Ireland-style "Don't mention the war" edict on the new series of HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU (9pm, Fri, BBC1)... and C4 celebrates the wide range of dramatic TV roles available to women in TOP TEN TV: BITCHES (9pm, Sat, C4)... not much worth watching over the weekend: unnecessary Nic Cage wig-out "Wings Of Desire" remake CITY OF ANGELS (9pm, Sun, C5), or tiresome Tarantino ensemble yawn JACKIE BROWN (10pm, Sun, C4)... though Bucks Fizz's bitterness is superbly lampooned in ROCK PROFILE (11pm, Sun, BBC2)... presumably it's half-term or something, as weekday afternoons are packed with retro sci-fi - FORBIDDEN PLANET (1.35pm, Mon, C4) - plus kiddie fare like fat-kid nerd- revenger ANGUS (1.20pm, Wed, BBC2) and Disney adventure THE ISLAND AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD (1.10pm, Thu, BBC2)... last time they showed Famke Janssen Bond plodder GOLDENEYE (9pm, Mon, ITV), the Sunday Business newspaper ran the "Hackers Steal Military Satellite" plot as front-page news [NTK 1999- 03-05]... and the largely self-explanatory HYPNOSEX (11.35pm, Mon, E4) plumbs new depths of pseudo-educational lifestyle programming... BBC2 just can't resist one last opportunity to mess around the scheduling of the SEINFELD finale (11.20pm, Tue & Wed, BBC2)... trend-spotting docu COOLHUNTERS (9.50pm, Wed, BBC2) is helpfully produced by one "Nathan Hartshorn"... MUTANT X (9pm, Wed, Sky1) is indeed the wirework-heavy Toronto-filmed Marvel-approved low-rent "X Men" knockoff you suspected... Victoria Wood introduces classic comedy clips in SKETCH SHOW STORY (9pm, Thu, BBC1) - mildly preferable to her acting in them... a "Mike Magee" is among the high-stake gamblers on LATE NIGHT POKER (12.40am, Thu, C4), but we don't think it's the mystical former Register bon-vivant... and we guess we'll see you all over at the radically unredesigned http://www.everyonehatesattachments.com/ for the downsized post-bust second series of ATTACHMENTS (10pm, Thu, BBC2)... FILM>> at last - a subtitled French film which largely resembles one of those "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" flashback scenes, in the form of formulaic kung-fu CGI historo-romp BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF (http://www.cndb.com/ : [Monica Bellucci's] full breasts and shapley rear are generously displayed; plenty of shots of the sides of [Mark Dacascos'] strong legs and thighs. For real nudity check out Mark's previous collaboration with this film's director: Crying Freeman)... also filling out the pre-Halloween cast-of- unknowns horror quota comes competently uninspired monster hunt JEEPERS CREEPERS (imdb: brother-sister-relationship / church / indestructible / police-station / prophetic-dream / psychic-power / road-trip / small-town / title-based-on-song / demon / inbreeding / incest / selfishness / serial-killer)... otherwise Billy Crystal, Seth "Oz from Buffy" Green and the director of "Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise" fail to make up for Catherine Zeta-Jones and Julia Roberts's limited comedic abilities, as John Cusack wanders further down that dark "romantic comedy" path in AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/americassweethearts.htm : sexual vulgarities and homosexuality paraded as acceptable; [Zeta Jones] dressing to maximize exposure of female skin; bestiality; speaking of sexual adulterous affairs as if they are required or natural; this movie even excuses masturbation) ... while one sub-aqua manga movie looks much like another: http://www.filmthreat.com/News.asp?File=NewsOne.inc&Id=564 , according to Film Threat's revelations about ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/atlantis.htm : walking on water; levitation; much crystal magic; sensuality in dress and mannerisms; implied [cartoon] nudity; tale of a homosexual kiss; [cartoon] adults in underwear)... BONERS: CORRECTIONS, CLARIFICATIONS, AND "INCORRECTLY REGARDED AS GOOFS">> hardly had we mailed out NTK 2001-09-21 than reader HARLEY MCGREW quickfired back: "The X11 antialias hack was done by Keith Packard. Not Derek". Yup, apologies, don't know how that one slipped through. "Also, it's X Window System or X or X11, not 'X-Windows'", Harley adds. "Although everyone calls it that, and no-one cares". This time, Harley, it is you who are mistaken: *we* care, and will now insist on calling it "X" as an act of penance and contrition to Keiths and Dereks everywhere... "I don't really have a joke for this", began ADRIAN MOULDER, encouragingly, "but that US corporate anthem [the magnificent http://www.americastandstall.net/ from NTK 2001-09-28] is sung by the gay guy from 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer': http://www.larrybagby.com/"... plus "well done" to everyone who thought we hadn't realised that, as ANDY WEST put it, "Soylent Green is people; Solent Green is the colour of a murky estuary near Southampton" regarding NTK 2001-09-28's http://www.ntk.net/2001/09/28/dohkangoo.gif . Thanks for that Andy - and spoil the ending for everybody, why don't you?... "Ah, someone else did see the TV graphics spelling out TWAT in big letters", sighed JOF [NTK 2001-10-12], who witnessed the aforementioned acrostic on the BBC's 6 O'Clock News, "although funnily enough nowhere on any BBC website"... and "Use fucking paragraphs you moron. This has gotta be the worst, most difficult to read writing style I've ever seen", suggested COLIN MCEVOY, possibly in response to NTK 2001-09-28's URL- packed BBC crap graphics round-up, or possibly as more general stylistic advice... of course, language like that serves only to preserve our uncompromising reputation with prudish mail clients like Eudora 5, as noted by "Another.com" enterpreneur STEVE BOWBRICK ("The last 'nice' email we got from you was dated 19 January": http://www.ntk.net/2001/10/19/eudora.jpg ) and LUKE MCGUFF, who commended our frequent "three chillies" rating for trouncing his previous record holder "Letter from Susie Bright - December 2000" by "a whole third"... speaking of racy content, DAVID HEMMING alleged that "A quicksearch on amazon.co.uk for 'sabrina the teenage witch' in the video category returns "teenage sex orgy" as the third match", while failing to clarify what he was searching for in the first place; WILL WATTS drew our attention to a largely unexpected http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=01/09/27/0226240 comparison between (Vulcan?) nipples and "two stiff warp nacelles"; and, following detailed Tivo analysis of the new AOL TV ad, GUS "can confidently say that there are no nipples visible at any point and that in the zoom sequence in to the dress all the web pages shown are disturbingly wholesome". NTK regrets that these correspondences are all, for the love of God, closed... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "no, it's short for Charlton" http://tv.cream.org/buchan/kulturman.htm NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.geekstyle.co.uk/ (K) 2001 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.