Need To Know 2000-06-02

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"We want to prove to the world that Gnutella is more than just music piracy and child porn." - GENE KAHN, on the new search engine utilising Gnutellanology http://news.cnet.com/news/0-1005-200-1983259.html?tag=st ...it's also a great way to search for them! >> HARD NEWS << 2/6/00 r00lz A little lesson in what you can do if you try very hard (and spend your evenings pouring over extremely dull policy documents). As BRITISH TELECOM scrabbles to comply with Oftel's uncharacteristically strident requirement that it provide ISPs with cheap flat-rate access, sans strings, to the local loop, give a round of applause to the CAMPAIGN FOR UNMETERERED TELECOMS. In two years, CUT went from a ragtag group of powerless online protestors (complete with baths of custard demos outside Cable and Wireless HQ) to a significant advisor to Oftel in the face of BT. Two years ago, no-one - not Oftel, not AOL, and certainly not BT would concede that flat-rate calls were even possible. Now, BT's last gasp attempt to face off the inevitable with its costly, confusing SurfTime service has been summarily bypassed: replaced, at Oftel's insistence, with a system very similar to what CUT recommended all those months ago. Cheers, kids! http://www.unmetered.org.uk/news/news280500.htm - metered calls: FRIA(L)CO! http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?back=archive98/now0327.txt&l=110#l - oh how young we were And, in another brief trip into a parallel universe where common sense prevails, the Electronic Communications Act (nee E-Commerce) quietly received its assent on 2000-05-25. Quiet, because its original raison d'etre - as a trojan horse to sneak in government controls on strong cryptography - failed utterly when the Department of Trade and Industry refused to fight any longer with the same long-haired Net types that scared BT in the previous news story. Now, it's a rather pleasant eunuch of a bill whose sole function in the real world is to give a legal footing to digital signatures (which they would probably have already had under existing law, anyway). Of course, in that real world, all the nasty stuff about access to keys has now passed to the RIP bill - but it's nice to see a few battles won, right? http://www.legislation.hmso.gov.uk/acts/acts2000/20000007.htm - you feel happy already, don't you It was about time that Microsoft fell into a fight where we felt sorry for them. And so they have: the DIGITAL DIVAS (hoarders of the "grey day" concept [see NTK 1998-10-01]) are taking them to court for using the Digital Diva term for their own site. A few questions for the court: Exactly *how* long does it take to come up with the name "Digital Divas", anyway? It's a big Net and a small namespace: we counted at least a dozen other uses of the term, including porn sites, queer theory, two conference panels, and an Activision game. Microsoft didn't steal the name: the stumbled on the same, kinda hackneyed, trope. Dammit, when the blessed Donald Davies (who passed away this week) came up with the idea for packet switching at the same time as Paul Baran, did they duke it out over whose idea it *really* was? Did they fight in the courts over the fricking *name*? Or did they care not a jot about who got their first, on got on with the fun bit: creating the next, great idea? http://www.usc.edu/isd/archives/queerfrontiers/queer/papers/dishman.html - "toad the fucker"? Does anyone want this phrase? http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?back=archive99/now1001.txt&l=20#l - slashdot stole these news stories from us! and vice versa! http://www.the-times.co.uk/news/pages/tim/2000/05/31/timobiobi02004.html - our best ideas last longer than we ever will >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious FASHIONMALL imitates DOONESBURY: http://www.doonesbury.com/flashbacks/pages/2000/05/db000502.html (and http://www.myvulture.com leads to..) ... remember: good eggs sink: bad eggs float ... not bad stocklist as of "1899" http://www.ntk.net/2000/06/02/dabs-doh.gif ... ... DREAMCAST to be repositioned as "interactive device": f-f-f-fal ... no no, Carmack: sack *everyone*, redo COMMANDER KEEN! ... SMITH CORONA - somewhat obviously Falco! ... BBC: TV in the pubic sector: http://www.ntk.net/2000/06/02/dohbbc.jpg ... IMDB vs BT INTERNET: http://obsess.com/junk/imdb ... Best headline of week: "VIA renames chipset in Holocaust gaffe" (C|NET) ... http://www.kashpureff.org/ekashp/ : odd, no mention of "went on run from FBI" ... frequently unanswered, more like http://www.netbenefit.co.uk/services_faq.html#6 ... Aussie dentist has "Marathon Man"-like interest in "gadgets" http://www.edgedent.com.au/tech.html ... what's that down in the bottom frame? http://www.radionow.co.uk/intro.htm ... TESCO's foray into "nouvelle cuisine": http://www.ntk.net/2000/06/02/tesco_doh.jpg ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful And, lo, a hardy band of LINEONE users didst look upon BT's attempt to sell them on a chatserver known for its lack of moderation. And, by cover of darkness, they didst vow to set out into the wilderness, to found a new chat environment, free of such blasphemies as (their choice) "#jesus_sucks_cock". Furthermore, they're having a "spectacular evening" to celebrate their successful secession this Sunday, 2000-06-40, from 7pm at the Fornex And Firkin in Harrow, North London, with live bands, slaying of a fatted calf, that sort of thing. And before you ask, we're convinced that this is for real, rather than (say) a spoof site put together by some mean people... http://www.communityuk.net/media/thecommunity.html - hey, that's what chat users look like... http://www.futuresonic.com/ - and, for Nathans, a Manc music thing later in the week >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering Now that Terminus is almost out, and Elite IV is almost certainly doomed to be a perfectly horrid travesty (although we're happy to bet both ends at William Hill on that eventuality), we're almost reaching the end of our endless pining for the One True Successor to Elite. But in the mean time, please allow us to air our obsession one more time in the worthiest of causes. Giles ("1080") Goddard's VOID is, as far as is inhumanly possible, Elite for the PalmOS platform. Palm IIIc users get school-of-CGA colours: the rest of us can revel in almost BBC Micro monochrome. Our souls are at rest; or they will be when we fork over the $9.95 registration fee. Can we pay in narcotics? http://members.iinet.net.au/~acidburn/void.html - altho, actually the BBC had several lines of colour, thanks to an incredible VBI interrupt hack that... http://home.att.ne.jp/sky/giles/ - i'll get my coat >> MEMEPOOL << hasta la altavista "never mistake our silence for being asleep" - or, indeed, being dead: http://www.amiga.com/corporate/053000-mcewen.shtml ... running a sniffer on the Yahoo Java chat protocol ... the new Lego Millennium Falcon: "at only 16 cents a piece it compares very favorably with the French Knights castle as a source of grey bricks" ... 404 God Not Found: http://freethought.tamu.edu/extreme ... searching http://www.open.gov.uk/search/search.htm for 'eyes only' ... www.metallicster.uklinux.net seem to have toned it down since heady days of http://www.theregister.co.uk/000511-000023.html ... leccie cars! http://www.evuk.co.uk/ ... Fatboy RMS: http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/116/kul_teng_funk_overdose.html ... The Search for The Real Nathan Barley - contender 1: http://www.runningmanonline.com/about/people.htm ... euhuhh! my-name's-Log: http://www.log.dial.pipex.com/playground/ ... to fill those junkbuster gaps: http://bak.spc.org/antibanners... and some filler for filling the next Filler: http://ojr.usc.edu/content/story.cfm?request=382 ... oh, fuck *off*: http://www.thestandard.com/article/display/0,1151,15398,00.html >> GEEK MEDIA << the less rude www.tvgohome.com TV>> "achievement has been supressed, all must wear a headband that scrambles intelligent thought" reports the Radio Times, hopefully describing the premise of Vonnegut-dystopia HARRISON BERGERON (1.20am, Fri, BBC2) rather than the "making of"... still, could be amusing if it makes the whole population as retarded as those guys in DUMB AND DUMBER (6.55pm, Sat, ITV)... while Robin Williams semi-imitates The Onion http://www.theonion.com/onion3615/mind_transfer.html in appalling man-child reverse-pedophile over-indulgence JACK (4.55pm, Sun, C5)... cool production design, but no action, cripples Sean Connery "High Noon" sci-fi remake OUTLAND (9pm, Sun, C5)... this week's rash of "dot.com" related shows kicks off with THE MONEY PROGRAMME (6.15pm, Sun, BBC2) praising / critiquing the acquisitive Cisco... prime-time consumer show HARD CASH (7.30pm, Mon, BBC1) examines online fraud plus "the pitfalls of devising a website in the hope of making a million"... and maybe worth fast-forwarding through 4-parter INSIDE DOT COMS: TALES OF THE ELECTRONIC GOLDRUSH (11.20pm, Mon-Thu, BBC2) in case anyone you know makes fools of themselves... Stephen "Bill And Ted" Herek's erratically plotted DON'T TELL MOM THE BABYSITTER'S DEAD (9.30pm, Mon, C4) nonetheless features Christina "Married With Children" Applegate, David Duchovny, and Joanna "Zhora the replicant" Cassidy... THE CANDIDATE (7.30pm, Tue, BBC2) gives a postman just 7 days to find a job as a web designer - like it normally takes that long... Keith Chegwin strips off to host nude game show NAKED JUNGLE (10.55pm, Tue, C5), preceded by mild Sly Stallone/ Kurt Russell (but not Teri Hatcher) nudity thriller TANGO AND CASH (9pm, Tue, C5)... and Kirk-killer Malcolm McDowell seems to have continued playing the same role in his current "I want to define my own universe" LineOne ads as he did in STAR TREK: GENERATIONS (7pm, Wed, BBC1)... FILM>> world's best magazine, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY, wears the joke-crown for funniest summary of negative critical reaction http://www.lermanet.com/reference/BatEarthfaq2.htm to largely Scientology-free Travolta vanity project BATTLEFIELD EARTH (http://www.capalert.com/ : dissension against tradition causing risk to meager resources of others; a lot of poor hygiene) - but, hey, it's big-screen sci-fi! Hopefully the poor reviews won't prevent them from making the *other* major motion picture, as promised on the cover of "L Ron Hubbard's" insanely entertaining novel... otherwise, Harvey Keitel *is* Alan Turing, in apparently inauthentic Enigma Hollywoodisation U-571 (abridged script at http://ter.air0day.com/u571.html ) - almost exactly the same as "Das Boot" but, this time, the Germans are the bad guys!... Roman Polanski seems to have learned little from Charles Manson murdering his wife that time, and continues to dabble in unremarkable devil thrillers like THE NINTH GATE (http://www.capalert.com/ : claims that Satan drew etchings in a book)... but nothing compared to the horror that medical science has now enabled Ben Elton to reproduce, as documented in vaguely autobiographical usual- suspects Brit-com MAYBE BABY (imdb comment: "sweetly undemanding... Maybe I'm biased as I am a major Joanna Lumley fan, but as soon as she disappears from sight, something goes slightly wrong")... RED BOOK AUDIO (or "tracks you're morally justified in downloading from Napster, because they're clearly nicked off other tunes already. Anyway, like you care.")>> just hitting the servers now - "Carmen Queasy" by MAXIM (the guy from the Prodigy, not the magazine) sounds like LIMP BIZKIT's rockin' cover of the "Mission: Impossible" theme but played back with the wrong MIDI instruments on a broken Soundblaster card - and not in a good way. Meanwhile, over on the official Prodigy website they've started pirating their own tracks for mobile ringtones: http://www.xl-recordings.com/news/news.htm ... and never mind the obvious comparisons with Billie Piper/ her first single - BEN MOOR boldly proposes that BRITNEY's "Oops I Did It Again" is based on "Something's Gotten Hold Of My Heart" by Marc Almond with Gene Pitney... in other pop news, tipmaster general LLOYD WOOD advocated "listening to [but not purchasing, eh kids?] 'Hooray For Boobies' by THE BLOODHOUND GANG. Well, once anyway", largely on the strength of track 5 ('Mope'), a eulogy to iconic rapper Falco ("with accompanying Amadeus samples")... RUARIDH revealed that the "Falco tribute" [NTK 2000-04-28] *isn't* by Kid 606, but other V/VM artist including COCK ESP plus REHBERG AND BAUER... and very much alive (and much less Austrian) MJ HIBBETT AND THE VALIDATORS - the "Hey Hey 16K" guys - have let us MP3 a load of tracks from their new album, now at http://www.daveg.dial.pipex.com ... back with soundalikes, sitcom-mad BD HALL persuasively argues that "The first few bars of GOMEZ's 'Whipping Picadilly' evoke the opening bars to Only Fools And Horses," and "THE YOUNGER YOUNGER 28's 'hit' 'We're Going Out' is a bastardised version of the theme tune to Are You Being Served?. The YY28 bloke with the big sideburns admitted it on Sky1's Long Play", concluding with "MEL C's 'Going Down' has exactly the same tune as the ALL SEEING EYE's 'Walk Like A Panther' - except it sounds far worse"... and finally, sticking with TV themes, PAUL CROWLEY contested our transliteration of the 'Roobarb And Custard' theme [NTK 2000-04-28 again] (as "ner-ner-ner-ner, ner-ner-ner-ner, ner-ner-ner NER ner-ner"), preferring the alternative interpretation "ner-ner-ner-ner, ner-ner-ner-ner, NER ner-NER ner-NER. Or, possibly: ner-ner-ner-ner, ner-ner- ner-ner, NER ner-NER ner-NER, ner-ner-ner-ner NER! NER!". NTK regrets that this correspondence is now closed... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "cursing... in a 'pristine' accent" http://newstrolls.com/news/dev/diva/geekfest.htm NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntk.net/books (K) 2000 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.