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        "And as for the 'I've got mine, you don't matter' attitude
        Kakutani and Borsook describe, I'm finding it particularly
        hard to reconcile with the new iBook sitting on my
        desk - the one those hackers in Dearborn gifted me with
        three days ago, throwing over $1,000 in the hat to do it
        simply because they liked me and wanted me to be part of
        their gang."
                       - ESR on Kakutani's doh-laden NY Times article
        http://www.salon.com/tech/feature/2000/06/28/kakutani/
                   ...after five hours, $1000 is cheap to get rid of him
        ( http://macweek.zdnet.com/2000/06/18/0622mhkeynote.html )


                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                           ataattagagaataaaa loosed

         The HUMAN GENOME PROJECT announced its results on Monday, 
         and across the world, scientists asked themselves "Can we 
         play God? What hath we wrought? And where the hell is the
         data?" The URL given out at the press conference led to a
         "404 Helix Not Found", and in the days since the
         announcement, nothing else turned up. Eventually the data slid
         out late Thursday evening. Pretty disappointing, even when
         you realise that this is only a beta of an unsorted pile of
         source code, and they haven't even set up an anonymous CVS
         server for patches. In the end, eager researchers were left
         scrabbling around trying to find the final pieces in
         unofficial archives. Yep: there are, apparently, zero-day
         genomez sites.
         http://www.ornl.gov/hgmis/     
- delay due to cleaning up comments, removing proprietary Krebs cycle info
         ftp://ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/refseq/H_sapiens/Contigs/
                                         - a README, but no Makefile?

         Ingenious of the TATE to make one of its first Web
         commissions an *ingenious* "remix" of its own Flash-laden
         site by "Harwood" of the Mongrel collective.  Much more
         entertaining - and with more hits - is Nick Crowe's
         unofficial www.tategallery.org.uk ("we're blowing the Dome
         out of the water!!!"). Or his Turner Prize site (
         http://www.turnerprize.org.uk - send your nominations to
         Iwanttoshortlistsomeonefor2001@turnerprize.org.uk ), or any
         of the twenty or so modern galleries, artists and
         institutions he's registered so far. Nick says he'll give
         the domains back to their similar-sounding owners in a
         couple of months once the performance is fin. We're looking
         forward to Nick's next work, which will apparently have
         titles like "THE EMAIL FROM THE JOURNALIST AT THE NEW
         STATESMEN TO THE WOMAN AT THE SERPENTINE ASKING IF SMOKING
         IS PERMITTED ON THE PATIO".
         http://www.tate.org.uk/webart/mongrel/home/default.htm
                                                     - v. daring
         http://www.tategallery.org.uk/
                             - more accessible than the official site
         http://www.nettime.org/nettime.w3archive/200006/msg00179.html
- "do you hope this helps to find you a dealer?" asks Matthew Fuller, bitterly
         http://www.pc.maricopa.edu/departments/art/fuller.html
                                                             - hehehe

         Our deadhead E-ENVOY finally responded to the hundreds of
         complaints about RIP sent to his office, by talking to a
         bunch of Americans about it. He said that some Britons were
         worried that RIP allowed "snooping on all e-mail traffic",
         and added the reality was "very different".  He also got the
         name of the bill wrong, which may mean he's in a different
         reality himself. Some clues to this parallel universe: the
         same week, he told MPs that there was no reverse burden of
         proof in the Bill. Which is odd, because days later Lord
         Bassam gave an amendment which removed the nonexistent
         reverse burden. There's still a lot of bugs in the bill,
         very few of which are being sorted out by the government,
         and most of which are being fixed by those "needlessly
         concerned" peers. A thankless task, especially with MP
         Andrew Miller's assertion in the other place that "the
         people who oppose this Bill are playing right into the hands
         of the most evil criminals on the planet". Good to know
         we're not dupes of Skeletor. 
         http://www.e-envoy.gov.uk/2000/SPEECHES/wwc26jun00.htm 
                          - it's "regulation of investigatory powers"
         http://www.fipr.org/rip/
                                  - final report stage on 2000-07-10


                                >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         UK starts turning SEALAND employees away at the airport ... 
         you'll get those ADSLs just as soon as we've found
         http://www.ntk.net/2000/06/30/adsldoh.gif ... whatever
         you say, APPLE: http://www.ntk.net/2000/06/30/appledoh.gif ...
http://www.nytimes.com/library/tech/00/06/biztech/articles/27note.html vs
         http://www.mcsweeneys.net/1999/01/23michiko.html ... it *is* 2000AD
http://news.bbc.co.uk/low/english/uk_politics/newsid_812000/812935.stm ...
         what have we done? http://www.geocities.com/walters_mission/ 
         ... is this the most self-referential FAQ? or is it this:
         http://www.ctod.com/unhappy/faq.htm ? ... slow news day at
         SLASHDOT: http://www.ntk.net/2000/06/30/slash-slow.png ...
         for kids, designed by kids? http://www.georgewbush.com/youth/ ... 
         registered users costing SEGA 100 UKP each in TV ad costs alone 
         accidentally reveals http://www.green-moon.co.uk/sega/chuchu~3.htm
         ... noooo! I said "Jon Katz *above* the 'actor who 
         made periodic appearances on Seinfeld'":
         http://www.flatoday.com/space/explore/stories/2000a/062500e.htm


                               >> EVENT QUEUE <<
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         Well, we did nominate http://www.ntk.net/boldoh/ for "Best use
         of multimedia", but looks like we'll have to settle for
         mentions in "Best news story broken on the Net" and "Internet
         journalist(s) of the year" at the EUROPEAN ONLINE JOURNALISM
         AWARDS, part of NETMEDIA 2000 at City University, London EC1,
         from Thursday 2000-07-06, UKP225 for both days (concessions
         available). By way of demonstrating either our noted editorial
         integrity or our famed aptitude for wrecking our chances at
         the very last minute, after we last commented on the
         incongruity of a "Shell Award for Best Investigative
         Reporting", reader Fiona Campbell-Howes wished she'd nominated
         "Urban 75 for their http://www.urban75.com/Action/boycott.html
         or indeed http://www.oneworld.org/delta/ . Ho ho."
         http://www.net-media.co.uk/eolja/shortlist.htm
                            - yes, "the NTK Team". All ~15,000 of you...

         Same place, a month later, but it's probably just too late to
         register for TRANSVISION MM (also City University, London Sat-
         Sun from 2000-07-15/16, UKP100 for both days), a gathering of
         European transhumanists (a non-trademarked version of
         Extropians?) rather than, say, fans of Wendy James' "I Want
         Your Love" late '80s rock band. (Though, is it just us, or is 
         there something really *mid-'90s* about that whole wacky
         "faith in technology" schtick?) Meanwhile, a rather more
         tongue-in-cheek enthusiasm for sci-fi manifests itself at   
         "Literary Humour & Sci-Fi Convention" ALIENS STOLE MY HANDBAG
         (this weekend, from 2000-06-30, Shepperton Moat House Hotel,
         Middx), a thinly disguised excuse to equip Robert Rankin and  
         fans with "military vehicles" and kick the asses of Douglas
         Adams/ Terry Pratchett readers once and for all.
         http://www.lostcarpark.com/aliensstolemyhandbag/military.html
          - cool idea, but are they playing the humans, or the Martians?
         http://www.itm-ed.de/tvamp/recordings/index.html
                         - "Sex Kick". What the hell was that one about?
         http://www.transhumanism.com/tv2k/
                 - nice link to http://www.kevinwarwick.org.uk/ , though


                                >> TRACKING <<
               sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering

         No evidence that we've just got a new Visor here: it's
         two years since SFCave zig-zagged its way out of Japan, and
         it's still one of the most addictive (and small) games for
         the Palm. It's 7K unzipped, needs only one button to
         operate, and feels like Scramble on a coke-soaked arcade
         console. For a taste, try Lab6's Java version. For a bit
         of a travesty, try the original author's 3D version for
         Windows.
         http://www.lab6.com/sfcave.html 
                                            - at last a game for Macs
         http://www.pda.tucows.com/palm/preview/028-005-001-081C.html
                              - a preview that's bigger than the game
         http://www.bekkoame.ne.jp/~sunflat/win/3dcv2.html
                                          - that difficult transition


                                >> MEMEPOOL << 
                              hasta la altavista

         now *that's* planning: whois www.arsedigita.com ... RSA in 900 
         lines of JScript: http://my.netian.com/~dubs37/eng_cyber_rsa.htm 
         ... Mitnick TAKEDOWN available in PAL Iceland: anyone want to
         send us a copy? ... not quite what the ANNE RICE fans had in
         mind: http://viscera.boners.com/ ... this week's "swearing at
         tech support" http://www.whatisthematrix.org.uk/bti.html ...
         /. RPG http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=cyoa&threshold=-1 ...
         "whoever [took the swearing out] really missed the fucking point" 
         - the true story of http://www.adminspotting.org/ ... sod 
         adcritic, here's: http://www.myvideogames.com/html/retrocorner.asp
         ... absolut overclocked: http://www.exaflop.org/docs/x86still/ ...
         nest o' Nathans: http://www.tvdinnersuk.com/about_us.html 
         ... $10,000 buys all the filth you can handle
         http://www.greatdomains.com/domains/details.asp?domid=802440 ...
         CBS imitates that BRASS EYE "crime" episode:
   http://play.rbn.com/?url=cbs/cbs/demand/20000627/fenton_cbs_britain_80.rm


                               >> GEEK MEDIA <<
                     the less rude http://www.tvgohome.com

         TV>> Mel & "Light Lunch" Sue appear to be covering "I Know
         Him So Well" from Chess in CELEBRITY STARS IN THEIR EYES 4
         (8.05pm, Sat, ITV) - a source of endless amusement for kids
         who've just discovered the usage of "know - in the Biblical
         sense of the word"... Larry Clark's sensationalised teen
         filth KIDS (11pm, Sat, C4) will be hopefully preceded by its
         very own Adam & Joe stuffed animals spoof... and ITV seems
         to be doing the whole trilogy with Jim Cameron's over-rated
         running- through-corridors Titanic dry-run ALIENS (12.15am,
         Sat, ITV)... on cable/ digital/ satellite, Sci-Fi appears to
         have swiftly ditched its "not just for nerds" ad campaign
         with a complete re-run of Lexx, plus exemplary '70s Brit
         dystopia [THE] QUATERMASS [CONCLUSION] (12noon, Sun,
         Sci-Fi)... no, you haven't just woken from a decade-long
         coma - Robin Williams' above-average Oliver Sacks adaptation
         AWAKENINGS (7pm, Sun, C5) gets its second outing in just
         over 2 years... while, according to our memory implants,
         Dick-fuelled Arnie/ Sharon Stone fantasy TOTAL RECALL (10pm,
         Sun, C4) was last shown on ITV just under 3 months ago... in
         the wake of the "Love Bug" virus, PANORAMA (10pm, Mon, BBC1)
         carries out a well-reasoned risk-analysis of "Cyber
         Attacks"... "one-off sketch show" (read: "uncommissioned
         pilot") TV TO GO (10.50pm, Tue, BBC1) promises a "comic
         slant on life's everyday problems, such as using mobile
         phones"... a couple more docu-soap genres collide in hidden
         electron-microscoper THE SECRET LIFE OF THE FAMILY (8pm,
         Wed, BBC1)... and we *still* rate the beat-poetry and
         butcher's shop montage from Mike Myers' pre-Austin Powers
         SO, I MARRIED AN AXE MURDERER (11.30pm, Wed, ITV)...

         FILM>> endorsing our plans for a "That'll Do Pig" chain of
         "Babe"-themed restaurants, both Burger King (in the US) and
         egg-distributors Stonegate Dairies are running potentially
         ill-advised product tie-ins with laboriously over-rated
         Aardman WW2 parody CHICKEN RUN (http://www.screenit.com/ : a
         brief, but non-explicit moment includes the hens offering to
         share their bunks with a visiting rooster; phrases: "Load of
         tripe," "Poppycock," Rocky repeatedly calls Ginger "doll
         face" despite her asking him not to, "Chicks" [for
         women/hens], "Suck," "Shut up," "You Nancy," "You idiot,"
         "Four eyes", "Bum" [for one's behind], and "Put your head
         between your knees and kiss your bum goodbye")... Neve
         "Scream" Campbell, Matthew "Chandler" Perry mug gamely
         through - at last! - a feature-length movie version of that
         "Friends" episode where everyone thinks Chandler's gay, in
         inexplicably titled THREE TO TANGO (http://www.capalert.com/
         : female mouth on male stomach; repeated homosexual
         suggestions, admissions and presences; satanic punk
         gathering)... otherwise a couple of limited-release curios:
         Donald "Performance" Cammell's (re- cut?) Christopher Walken
         cult WILD SIDE (http://www.cndb.com: "[Anne] Heche has a
         great body - beautiful tits, perfect nipples and a nice
         round ass. Rides Walken in the beginning and then has sex
         with Joan [Twin Peaks] Chen. Anne is on top of Joan while
         they make out and Joan freely fondles Anne's ass. Ellen is a
         very lucky girl")... or behind-the-scenes wrestling tell-all
         BEYOND THE MAT (http://www.screenit.com/ : kids may want to
         imitate the many wrestling related moves, stunts and
         fighting that occur in this film; one wrestler shows that he
         can vomit on command; some male wrestlers occasionally wear
         small tights during their matches)... and, believe us, the
         "previews" are the only thing "special" about M:I2 (
         http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/mi2.html )...

         BONER BONANZA>> BOB SCHULZE foolishly attempted to correct
         last week's use of "decimate" [NTK 2000-06-23] to describe
         Deja ditching 10% of their audience, believing it means to
         "reduce *to* 10%", not "by 10%". Bzzt! Sorry Bob, common
         misconception: we were right all along, as are you when you
         concede: *however* many percent it is, it's still a stupid
         idea... genuine errors on our part, however, included blaming
         NTK 2000-06-16's big-screen doh on "MacOS" - "It's a Director
         error dialogue!", our Mac-familiar readers screamed before,
         typically, noting that public MacOS crashes are "extremely
         rare", at least compared to the recorded incidence of BSODs.
         Hey guys, maybe no-one *uses* MacOS any more, or something...
         while LEE HOLDEN helpfully provided the full ancestry of
         Daphne And Celeste's "U.G.L.Y", having learned from "The Jo
         Whiley Show" (of all places!) that it has "virtually the same
         chorus as Fishbone's U.G.L.Y. from their self-titled debut
         mini-album". "Members of Fishbone were recently on trial for
         kidnapping their own (ex) guitarist and founder member," Lee
         goes on to allege, so don't expect to see them purusing the
         copyright on that one any time soon... but, biggest boner of
         the bunch protruded from last week's complex Amazon gift
         voucher hack, with anonymous respondents highlighting that
         attempts to raise UKP100 in credit by signing up 20 friends to
    http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/subst/partners/friends/access.html
         are hindered by the fact that only one UKP5 "return" voucher
         can be used per sale, and that the system as described hinges
         on the (largely unwarranted) assumption that you might want to
         read Wilbur Smith's "Monsoon". Of course, you can't search
         Amazon by price - though you can filter the search results
         for, say, "Little Book" and list the top 450 in ascending
         order of price, as now linked from http://www.ntk.net/books/
         (fantastically transparent attempt at chart-fixing there,
         Harry Harrison fans). Sure, the cut-off point should really be
         UKP2.25, but then you risk missing out on some really good
         stuff: imagine our disappointment at discovering that the
         "Little Books" of "Farting", "Complete Bollocks" and "Crap"
         appear to be a *totally different* franchise to the "Optimum
         Nutrition" one...


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
                       Registered at the Post Office as 
THEY STO7E  UR REVOLUTION  ur lamE  now were steaqling it baX0R!!!!!!!!11~~~~
          http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/dialectp.cgi?dialect=hckr

                                 NEED TO KNOW
            THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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