Need To Know 2000-04-14

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"[it is] sickening to know that our art is being traded like a commodity rather than the art that it is." - LARS ULRICH, Metallica drummer, announcing their suit against Napster ...next: sue those philistines that sell it for hard cash >> HARD NEWS << oh, to be in their shoes In these days of plunging markets, it's hard to pinpoint just one story that illustrates our own holding position: that Net stocks are a device to transfer money from the innocent to the guilty. But the tale of QXL's NASDAQ price in the last week will do. Start from last Thursday, when SG Cowen analyst Tom Bock announced that QXL was a "strong buy", and predicted its eventual rise to a $333 stock value. Why? Because - well, heck, they're the European Ebay, right, and Europe's bigger than the US - so any minute now they'll get an Ebay-like valuation. That call was based on some interesting assumptions - that EBay hasn't made in-roads into Europe, and that there are no other European auctioneers of note. It took us ten minutes to spot another five or so major auction sites in Germany (one of QXL's longest established turfs) just by browsing yahoo.de. And running a "links" count on altavista shows around 280 pages pointing to qxl.de - compared to 1800 for ebay.de and 1700 for ricardo.de, another German auctioneer. Bock's timing was particularly cute, given that the "strong buy" recommendation came on the same day as a three-way split, which has a habit of confusing casual investors into thinking that the stock price is unnaturally low. After a brief spike to around $110, the stock slumped to close to $20 - a ride in which only the little guys got seriously hurt. And we're sure it was pure coincidence that the hype was days before the end of the six-month lock-in of shares by the institutional investors... http://www.unlockdates.com/comp/comp_main.cfm?ticker=QXLC - co-underwriters: SG Cowen Crazy give-away time in the wonderful world of VIRGIN's Internet experiment. In the US, the company offered this week to give away 10,000 WebTVish things in return for audience data (you'll remember this ploy from about a year ago, when everyone else tried it). In the UK, VIRGIN NET gave away their entire design staff to ZEFER, as head designer Rik Gadsby and most of his colleagues stepped outside for a breath of fresh air... and never... came... back. But hold: surely they were all set to become as rich as Rich in the real-soon-now Virgin Net IPO? http://www.virginconnectme.com/ - wow. even the hypertext links are imagemaps. thass the future! http://www.economist.com/editorial/freeforall/20000408/index_br3024.html - yeah, yeah, we got your Falco nominations, people And so to Infosec 2000, where the exhibitors handed out their scaremongery fliers, and tried to shut up the DNS Con guys, who found exploits in at least sixteen exhibitor websites. K3yn0te Sp33k0r RLoxley seemed very excited by the much-rumoured "gathering of the ten", in which a bunch of "the planet's greatest hackers" will combine to form a company to provide commercial security services - or battle Galactus, we're not sure which. But his glee was no match for the enthusiasm of the London 2600 regulars. Approached by a BBC producer keen to do yet another hacking documentary, they happily regaled her with details of the dark, illegal - and strangely captivating - lives they led. The producer stood by, rapt with fascination at their elititude. As did the Network Manager of a major British Police force, who was standing about ten yards away. Looks like the show's already on the road, kids! http://www.infosec.org.uk/ - okay, nothing to see... http://www.dnscon.org/ - go home >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious "RSI code" is, presumably, typing out every key by hand: http://www.theregister.co.uk/000413-000013.html ... MS aims to reverse DOJ ruling, turning time back "Superman"-style: http://support.microsoft.com/support/kb/articles/Q131/1/09.asp ... "in the wrong hands", warns SHADOW DEFENCE SECRETARY http://news.bbc.co.uk/low/english/uk/newsid_711000/711242.stm - stolen guns "could be lethal"... will the public *ever* tire of seeing WINDOWS crash on large indoor displays: http://www.ntk.net/2000/04/14/dohairport.jpg ?... WORD "Revision control" on http://www.eurostar.co.uk/cond.doc reveals added legislation against toddlers, longbows... http://www.ntk.net/2000/04/14/doh550percent.gif - they pay you 5 times the price?... MS aims to electrocute cable users: http://www.theregister.co.uk/images/adverts/plug.gif ... BT announce ADSL "scheduled downtime" between 11.30-12.30 today - at 11.29 ... if any page deserved a 404, it's www.lordlucan.com ... Office 97 Professional CD contains large file titled PRON.wav ... "Up My Street is fantastic - the guys who created that must be pretty amazing" says TOM LOOSEMORE - whois upmystreet.com ? http://www.newsunlimited.co.uk/online/story/0,3605,158654,00.html >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful It's not often that reforming '80s bands pose such profound philosophical issues as SIGUE SIGUE SPUTNIK - did we miss their notional cyberfuture at some point during the last decade, does it still lie ahead, or is it currently taking place in a neon-lit arcade in a parallel reality Tokyo? Either way, several chances to re-enjoy their quaintly old- fashioned futurism (and Giorgio Moroder's thumping techno- billy basslines) as SSS play a number of high-profile gigs - London's LA2, 2000-04-23 (Easter Sunday); Whitby Festival, North Yorkshire 2000-04-29; Sheffield HALLAM University Students Union, 2000-06-03 - no doubt prompting headlining quibbles along the lines of "Noooo! I said 'Fifth Generation Of Rock And Roll' *above* 'Puppet Show'..." http://www.sputnikworld.com/ - 1st generation of HTML, as well >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering What we've been frenetically tracking this week: Last Sunday, one of NTK's oldest pals and regular Tracking contributor, Yoz Grahame, was admitted into the Royal Free hospital intensive care, after a fit. He was diagnosed as suffering pressure on the brain, and remained unconscious until Thursday. The doctors are still not sure what caused the problem (trust Yoz to discover an obscure, white-label import virus), but we're pleased to report that he's now awake, and seems to be rebooting just fine. Yoz, kid, next time use the *scratch monkey brain* for these experimental kernels. And get well soon. We love you. http://www.ambiguous.org/quinn/yozora.gif - in bookstores soon >> MEMEPOOL << hasta la altavista you do the math: http://www.calculusgirls.com/ ... this week's modified sci-fi humour: http://www.quinnarama.com/futurama.htm ... you want one, it wants you too - this week's CTHULHU merchandising: http://www.tccorp.com/outsider/doll.html ... of course, it should actually be "PORTILLO! I choose - YOU!": http://www.drinkfromthefurrycup.com/news/51.shtml ... 0-day JAMZ: http://web.ukonline.co.uk/chilled/jam.html ... REBOOT vs PLAYBOY: http://x46.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=603778658 ... taking de-LINTING too far: http://www.feargod.net/fluff.html ... caption compo: http://www.nbarker.demon.co.uk/demon.jpg ... OFFICE 97 Professional CD contains large file titled PRON.wav ... http://www.lordlucan.com/ still missing... and, if this takes off, a clarinet with SMS-downloadable ring-tones: http://www.vankoevering.com/html/Body_Prod-1950Specs.htm ... we heart http://newstrolls.com/ ... http://www.sylloge.com/5k/ ... stalk your favourite Web authors at: http://www.byliner.com/ ... makes a (dangerous) change from the weird Christian sites: http://www.mosqueclock.com/hard_sell.htm ... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> without wanting to sound too much like the Sally Phillips fan page http://www.w2s.net/sally-phillips/ , if only *all* female comedians were as attractive as the ones in SMACK THE PONY (9.30pm, Fri, C4)... in case you were worried that there were *two* Gail Porter-fronted Graham Norton-style wacky web round-ups at large, DOTCOMEDY (11.10pm, Fri, C4) was formerly known as "That Internet Show" - possibly a homage to "That Show With That Guy" (the working title for "Seinfeld"), and presumably not changed to tie in with the seemingly unrelated domains dotcomedy.co.uk or dotcomedy.com... plus: a tongue-in- cheek disaster double-bill with Kevin Bacon big-wormer TREMORS (11pm, Fri, BBC1) and pre-Airplane nuclear chuckle THE BIG BUS (12.35am, Fri, BBC1)... Saturday night's Paul Verhoeven mini- season continues with ROBOCOP (10.20pm, Sat, ITV), described by worldly NTK reader Paul Blez as "the most violent film he's ever seen"... millennium Illuminati ritual JEAN MICHEL JARRE AT THE PYRAMIDS (11.15pm, Sun, BBC1) apparently features "a sudden blanket of fog" (fnord)... and Kim "Sex In The City" Cattrall dates a guy with a thing for naked shop-window dummies in MANNEQUIN (3.30pm, Mon, C5)... it's Arnie week on C5 - again - with near-actionless gameshow satire THE RUNNING MAN (9pm, Tue, C5) plus Brigitte Nielsen beat-em-up RED SONJA (9pm, Thu, C5)... Harry Enfield touts his own teen- observational accuracy with REAL KEVINS (9.35pm, Thu, BBC1) - none of whom, interestingly, are actually called "Kevin"... plus: hacking, biotech, set in 2012, - no chance *at all* of FUTURECAST (9pm, Thu, C4) being just more "Killer Net" cyber- bollocks... FILM>> "Why didn't I just stay at home like last time and play with some batteries?" wonders Gary "Apollo 13" Sinise and photogenic other astronauts en route to confused 2001 homage MISSION TO MARS (http://www.capalert.com/capreports : graphic death by rotational ripping apart; excessive cleavage; physical attack; teaching of evolution and false origins of life) - mostly rubbish but, hey, it's big-screen sci-fi... unimaginative film critics consistently trumpet their incomprehension of junior object-oriented tutorial POKEMON: THE FIRST MOVIE (http://www.capalert.com/capreports : lust for power, control, and independence; rampant confrontation with finality and with doubtful consequences; sensual drawing of a female character, the intent of the viewing angle was clear; ; "Circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant"; misguided and often absent concern for the "death" of a "living, thinking being" - a pokemon) - and they're not referring to the replacement of the moody Japanese soundtrack with upbeat teeny pop. Team Rocket are hardly in it and don't even do their catchphrase, but it's still our pick of the kid flicks... at least compared to Disney's ultra-sanitised THE TIGGER MOVIE (http://www.capalert.com/capreports : a real family movie; only two instances you may want to address one-on-one with your kids) or ASTERIX AND OBELIX (imdb: based-on-comic / historical / live-action / sequel), of which Time Out seemed to genuinely complain that it's been dubbed, rather than in the original French with English subtitles... and following our success with Esquire's "The Magazine You're [Not] Embarrassed To Read On The Tube" campaign [NTK 2000-02-18], Aston Villa fans will know exactly which word to block out on the poster for Sean Penn, Kristin Scott Thomas lah-di-dah romance UP [AT] THE VILLA (http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : passed '12' for moderate sexual references and threat and infrequent mild violence)... DEAD TREE PUBLISHING>> three words: AMIGA FORMAT - FALCOOOOO! Future Publishing's long-running Amiga mag (arguably the "Off'al Playstation Magazine" of its day) has published its last, with long-standing editor Nick Veitch heading up new launch LINUX FORMAT (due Fri 2000-04-28) - all traces of the hilariously NT-served http://www.linuxanswers.co.uk/ [see NTKs passim] having been mysteriously erased... this being Future, no sooner is one struck down than three more spring up in its place, the other two being the UK edition of BUSINESS 2.0 (content 60% sourced from over here, with "the rest from the US" - ex-Wired UK staffers, get your CVs in now!)... plus, out now, the wildly underpriced MP3 MAGAZINE - only UKP4.99 for *98* glossy pages (not quite as many legitimate applications as they thought?) Great site http://www.mp3magazine.co.uk/ too!... on to happier news, with first-time caller KEVIN CECIL guest-hosting this month's Covermount Corner, and recommending the "very good free CD of Easy Listening Lounge music" on the front of LATER, including a "sitar version of 'I Can See For Miles'" - either the entire CD, or this track alone, is "well worth the UKP3 cover price" - Kevin fails to specify. Plus, "The CD is designed to look like a CD that you have bought rather than a 'shit magazine one' which seems a major advance in free CDdom. The magazine itself is rather poor"... but, for once, atrocity of the month goes to EMAP ACTIVE, for their staggeringly daft Edge-alike "PS This Publication Is Not Authorised Or Approved By Sony. PS2 And Playstation2 Are Trademarks Of Sony Computer Entertainment Inc" (UKP3.99) - a largely unnecessary disclaimer given that the content is so ridiculously pro-PS2 even Sony would be embarrassed to run it. Amid the Designers Rupublic [(c) Edge Magazine, May 1999] knock-off graphics, shamefully blocky screengrabs, and sub- Off'al Dreamcast "fashion shoots", there's even the typically on-the-ball opinions of "style journalists" from The Face and The Big Issue - the latter disappointingly not providing, in counterbalance to all the tedious "Trojan Horse" propaganda elsewhere, an analysis of exactly how the Playstation 2 will revolutionise digital entertainment possibilities available to homeless people... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon (ha!) or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "just biding our time, just hiding that bottle" http://bradpettit.editthispage.com/pictures/viewer$51 NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. 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