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         "Steganography is considered the third biggest threat to US
          security after biological and chemical attack."
                      - STEPHEN WHITELAW, publicity shy head of ACTIS
http://people.ft.com/ft/gx.cgi/ftc?pagename=View&c=Article&cid=FT3G54ELIEC
          ...that's right, piss off the nuclear terrorists, why don't you?


                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                                 codes reused

         So *that's* why the Kursk sank. Turns out the Russians have
         been hogging the the Windows source code tree for the last
         three months, checking out bits of the MS "blueprints" ( (c)
         2000 every news source we've read) for their own brand of 
         code refactoring. Given that St Petersburg e-mail
         address, the media's Redmondologists are already theorising
         that the hack was planned by mafiosi intending to ransom the
         code: presumably they've already been sending back snapshots
         of Win2K - holding up recent modification datestamps, and
         horrifically disfigured by the KO18-R character set. 
         Traditionally, Microsoft has blamed security breaches via 
         trojans, not on the gaping holes in MS software, but to poor
         discipline at the victim's companies. Companies must educate
         employees "not to run a program from an origin you don't 
         trust", said a MS rep last time we all got hit. So, does 
         this include Microsoft itself now?
         http://news.cnet.com/news/0-1003-200-1816987.html
                    - "bad people misusing good software", apparently
         http://www.datafellows.com/v-descs/qaz.htm
                   - still, good to see Windows is written in Notepad
         http://www.ntk.net/2000/10/27/dohyahoo.gif
                   - "Intr\013Kanget har inte skadat bolaget", indeed
         http://terrorists.net/hacked.htm
 - the Illuminati, you say? whois microsoft.com, you say? Repeatedly?

         It's long been known - in the Commodore 64 emulation community 
         at least - that Kernkraft 400's Euro-techno chart-topper 
         ZOMBIE NATION (dada-dada-dada-da dada-dada-dada-da da-dada-
         da!) was based on the music from the "Stardust" subgame in 
         David Whittaker's 1984 C64 release, "Lazy Jones" - showing a 
         perhaps-unexpected enthusiasm for copyright legislation, retro 
         remix site c64audio.com say they helped him negotiate a 
         settlement with the record company over use of the riff. 
         However, since the "Lazy Jones" game soundtrack also contains 
         unmistakable versions of Nena's "99 Red Balloons" and Visage's 
         "Fade To Grey", newsgroup speculation continues as to whether 
         "Stardust", too, might not have been a David Whittaker 
         original. Kraftwerk seem to be the most persistent candidate 
         (though too jaunty, surely?) - the almost-perfect challenge 
         for NTK readers' highly trained soundalike-spotting skills. 
         Still, let's not ignore the possibility that "99 Red Balloons" 
         and "Fade To Grey" could have started out this way as well, 
         this one 1984 platform game having acted as a Tin-Pan-Alley-
         style hit-factory for non-stop electro-pop hits over a period 
         of 16 years.
         http://www.egroups.com/message/c64rmx/412
                  - yeah, so we just ripped off Per Bolmstedt's reply 
         http://www.classicgaming.com/area64/
               - under "Games/L". Like C64 browsers support frames...
         http://x54.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=680074406
              - 99 Red Balloons: .sid track 7, Fade To Grey: track 20
         http://www.richardcheese.com/ 
                     - top post-Popbitch cover-version Napster-fodder

         Somehow re-infecting the cyber-nodes in a quantum-
         superpositioned, agile-tunnelling-stylee is FUTURE VISION,
         makers of the mysterious BLITZKRIEG server that had so many
         journalists in its thrall back in '97. Sadly, the all-new
         site doesn't have much original to add to the first, bizarre
         intimations of a "virus-like collective digital life-form"
         that used quantum physics to predict and destroy hacking
         attempts *before they'd even begun*. Instead, there's a
         exciting couple of pages describing the server's unique
         "anti-head / anti-neck" properties. Oh, and a bunch of
         scanned press reports from all the press that were gullible
         enough to be taken in by this craziness last time: Defence
         Week, The New Scientist, The Sunday Times. That goodness
         hacks are more tech-savvy these days, eh?
         http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/1/14271.html 
    - or know the difference between a host and domain record, anyway
         http://vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=213&page=4
                        - Rob Rosenberger has the full story, as ever


                                >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         the witch ROWLING wields widdershins-logic on her inquisitors: 
         http://www.ntk.net/2000/10/27/dohpotter.jpg ... BLACKSTAR 
         delivers surprise to half its staff... Interactive BAFTA 
         winners include MEDIEVIL II, BBC NEWS ONLINE, DAVID BOWIE: 
         http://www.bafta.org/bafta/5_ie/5_WINNERS_2000.htm ... THE 
         REGISTER http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/1/14251.html 
         re-reports "Brits discovered public key crypto" from Apr 1999: 
         http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/7.04/crypto.html , confuses 
         RSA algorithm with public-key... CNN "censor" Larry Flynt's 
         unsubstantiated Bush-slurring: http://www.closedfist.com/cnn/ 
         ... "Revenues to Exceed $700" - Wireless ASP market that big?: 
         http://www.wirelessdevnet.com/news/2000/276/newsletter.html 
         ... BBC "Have I Got News For You" site pastes addresses of 
         1,264 visitors into "To:" field, blames "technical glitch" - 
         allegedly... BT WEBWORLD does same with 49 customers - all of 
         whom are referred to by surnames - Willis, Whiteley, Thompson 
         - like it was a pre-war public school or something... your 
         license fees at work: ftp://ftp.bbc.co.uk/pub/Damion/nokia/ 
         ... GOD fails to prevent FALCO: http://ibelieve.com/ ... you 
         can call me "ill": http://www.ntk.net/2000/10/27/dohplague.jpg 
         ... REGISTER couldn't spot a Spectrum game if it 8-bit them on 
         the ass: http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/1/14234.html ... 
         GUARDIAN readers look on bright side of fatal train crash: 
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/saturday_review/story/0,3605,385712,00.html


                               >> EVENT QUEUE <<
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         Good: UK UNIX User Group, the folks who brought you Richard 
         Stallman, Eric Raymond etc etc, present a free public evening 
         with actual "inventor of the internet" VINT CERF (6.30pm, next 
         Fri 2000-11-03, UCL, London WC1) - though how are they going 
         to better this line-up in the future? Charles Babbage? The 
         Loch Ness Monster? God? Bad: Arts Catalyst, the Arts/Science 
         dimwits, have issued a "call for participation" for their 
         upcoming 2ND UK SPACE ART FORUM (Tue 2000-11-21, London E1), 
         to discuss art performances and/or objects designed for "zero 
         gravity" (the very use of that term indicating they have no 
         idea what they're talking about; they mean "microgravity" or 
         "free fall"). And potentially quite ugly: DAVE "McSweeneys" 
         EGGERS, and, er, Zadie "White Teeth" Smith both feature at 
         transatlantic "music and readings" club night WORDS@ICA (8pm, 
         Sat 2000-11-11, the ICA - where else?), the normally mild-
         mannered "Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius" author 
         bragging that, on a previous occasion, he "carefully cut the 
         hair of five attendees".
         http://www.ukuug.org/events/cerf/
            - handily, contains explanation of what "the Internet" is
         http://www.artscatalyst.org/htm/new.htm
           - look, it's all at http://microgravity.nasa.gov/wimg.html
www.whsmith.co.uk/whs/go.asp?pagedef=/adventures/showprod.htm&data=space
           - not even WHSmith can "guarantee space flight will occur"
         http://www.ica.org.uk/performance/113806/
             - ironically, it's ArtsCatalyst who need the haircuts...
         http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2000/10/09britsoap.html
          - what they think Brits sound like. Don't disappoint 'em...
         

                                >> TRACKING <<
               sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering

         Want to show someone how much you care? Would rather garrotte
         yourself than send a Blue Mountain... thing? And they use
         Lynx anyway, so there'd be no point? Can we suggest that you
         take a closer look at that "AdWords" link at the bottom of
         Google. Just $16 (deposit of $50) pays for a thousand hits
         on the keyword of your choice: and if you send the notifying
         mail off to your loved one quicker than Google
         retrospectively checks the ad, you could probably be as rude
         as you like. Added extras: find out, via their instant quote
         facility how popular certain search term are (Microsoft
         23,700 hits per day, Linux 46,000, George Bush gets 4300, Al
         Gore 2200, Yankees 800, Mets 300, etc). And if you see an ad
         you don't like, filter it for everyone by writing a script
         that eats through their ad budget. The possibilities, as one
         guesses Google are only beginning to realise, are endless.
         https://adwords.google.com/AdWords/Welcome.html
                             - "google" itself, 6000 hits a day. Huh?
         http://www.google.com/search?q=falco
                                     - well, we had to try it, right?


                                >> MEMEPOOL <<
                              hasta la altavista

         wait till this technology hits the citrus-rich MIDDLE EAST: 
         http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_94399.html ... for all 
         your media-sanctioned-outburst-of-public-hysteria needs: 
         http://www.tragibutes.co.uk/ ... lame Onion-imitation imitates 
         ONION: http://www.thesatyr.com/archives/websites/bunion.htm 
         ... at last! TEMPEST on the side of the Houses Of Parliament: 
         http://games.lasers.org/ ... after "BRITNEY explains lasers": 
         http://www.routergod.com/charlesmanson/ ... yes, they do a 
         "bitches" joke: http://www.geocities.com/limeskiesspookypills/ 
         ... where "If Constrict Anus 100 times, Malarkey?" isn't a 
         cryptic crossword clue: http://hometown.aol.com/nishigaki3/ vs 
         http://www.jesus21.com/poppydixon/product/panties/panties.html 
         ... "This time it's personal", promise new http://www.boo.com 
         ads. HELLLO???!!... for veterans of the fucked-company wars: 
         http://www.eboy.com/pages/clients/clients01.html ... you don't 
         want hairy NADS: http://www.youcansave.com/nadnathairre.html 
         ... today's DAILY MAIL "It's Typical" strip for TVGOHOME fans: 
         http://www.ntk.net/2000/10/27/typicalmail.jpg ...


                                >> GEEK MEDIA <<
                                  get out less

         TV>> that idiot Renny Harlin misses the intriguing subtexts of
         the first film in nonetheless explosive sequel DIE HARD II:
         DIE HARDER (9pm, Fri, ITV)... as "McSweeneys" asked about
         POLTERGEIST (11.05pm, Fri, BBC2): what happens if you build a
         sacred Indian burial ground - on top of a *sacred Indian
         burial ground?*... and C4 intriguingly combines a themed
         strand on combating stress in the workplace (from 7.45pm, Sun,
         C4) with a Halloween-tie-in season of "Film Fear", featuring
         amateurish petrol-driven chase-em-up THE TEXAS CHAINSAW
         MASSACRE (11.45pm, Sat, C4); po-mo classic SCREAM (10.10pm,
         Sun, C4) - "A group of teenagers pay the ultimate price for
         failing to answer a horror fan's film trivia questions" (The
         Radio Times); and ham-fisted sub-Rollerball road rage satire
         DEATH RACE 2000 (1.10am, Sun, C4)... other topical stressors
         include Peter "Bad Taste" Jackson's CGI tryout THE FRIGHTENERS
         (11.35pm, Sat, ITV), dire occupational hazard parable NUNS ON
         THE RUN (10pm, Mon, C4), and by-the-book Clancy nonsense
         PATRIOT GAMES (10.35pm, Mon, BBC1), in which Harrison Ford, to
         avoid offending all those members who do important social work
         in the community, battles an "ultra-violent" faction of the
         IRA... Sky1 presents an ultra-recent retrospective of clips of
         other channels' retrospectives of 1981 in TV YEARS (9pm,
         Sun)... C5 stalwart Mark "The Crow" Dacascos stays alive and
         kicking in non-stop martial-arts cyber-chuckle DRIVE (9pm,
         Mon, C5) - not based on The Cars' song of the same name...
         LOUIS THEROUX (9pm, Mon, BBC2) has long harboured gangster
         hip-hop ambitions, as proved by this excellent rap he wrote
         http://www.ntk.net/2000/10/27/therap.jpg for a student comedy
         mag we did once... while Anne Robinson's hysterically
         fascistic "You are the weakest link: Goodbye!" is becoming
         *the* way to end phone conversations, as uninspired
         "Millionaire"/"Big Brother" hybrid THE WEAKEST LINK transfers
         to BBC1 (8pm, Tue)... the Halloween horror continues with
         lengthy Bruce Willis period drama LAST MAN STANDING (9pm, Tue,
         C5) and hand-held alleged "Blair Witch" inspiration THE LAST
         BROADCAST (12midnight, Tue, C4)... Weird "Al" Yankovic's title
         sequence is the funniest bit of Leslie Nielsen's Bond spoof
         SPY HARD (9pm, Thu, C5)... and, after last week's double-bill
         of breast documentaries, DISPATCHES (10pm, Thu, C4) takes a
         long hard look at whether women should "abandon the bra"...

         FILM>> one of the actresses is called "Kim Director", raising
         the exciting possibility that the rest of the cast might have
         names like "Steve Cameraman", in thankfully more conventional
         teen dream-sequence horror BLAIR WITCH 2: BOOK OF SHADOWS
         (http://www.screenit.com : two women kissing; some of the
         women wearing just their bras and the guys are shirtless;
         Erica topless once again and then sitting nude with something
         between her legs blocking our view of full frontal nudity;
         what looks like one of the men having sex with one of the
         women from behind her; and a man and woman running away from
         the camera, nude - we see their bare butts)... otherwise it's
         James "Likely Lads" Bolam, Thandie "M:I2" Newton and Nicola
         "Eastenders/ Young Person's Guide To Being A Rock Star"
         Stapleton - together at last! - in this month's genre-limited
         Brit crime caper IT WAS AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN (imdb:
         comedy / drama) - not closely based around the Billy Bragg
         song of the same name... but fortunately repeated viewings of
         last week's BRING IT ON (http://www.capalert.com : locker room
         underwear; homosexual presence; using breasts as car wash
         sponges; "The Naked Ape" book - the book claiming man is
         [descended] from apes) have confirmed it as one of the year's
         best/worst movies, resembling nothing so much as a foul-
         mouthed feature-length Britney Spears video. In a good way...

         HARD LIT>> the addition of our Gift Voucher-exploiting "Books
         Under UKP2.25" at http://www.ntk.net/books/ has radically
         skewed our sales figures with such unexpected bestsellers as
         THE LITTLE RED QUIZ BOOK (25p), THE LITTLE MISS NAUGHTY:
         LITTLE MISS MINI CHUNKIE BOOK (UKP2.00) (not to be confused
         with MOLL FLANDERS - 80p), THE LITTLE BOOK OF FARTING
         (UKP1.59) and, of course, the WILLIAM MORRIS BLANK BOOK series
         (67p), which people have been buying in batches of ten or
         more. We're guessing that they're some sort of decorative
         notebooks (as opposed to portraits of the "blanks" from the
         Max Headroom TV series) from the 19th century British
         craftsman, designer, writer, typographer, and Socialist (as
         opposed to the international talent agency) - but you never
         know... back with the full-price chart, an unexpected 3 sales
         for the DAILY TELEGRAPH BOOK OF OBITUARIES (UKP5.59) appear to
         be due to our software eliding several titles in the series,
         but there can be no such error when BACH - FUNERAL CANTATAS
         (UKP11.06) at last overtakes SPILLER: GROOVEJET - IF THIS
         AIN'T LOVE (UKP1.69) to regain its rightful position at the
         top of the pop chart... not too much in the way of reader
         recommendations recently: ADRIAN MOULDER disappointedly noted
         that Helen Fielding's BRIDGET JONES 2: THE EDGE OF REASON is
         "nothing at all to do" with KW Jeter's BLADE RUNNER 2: THE
         EDGE OF HUMAN, but persuasively argued that Joe Queenan Would
         Like To Apologise http://www.geocities.com/joemexcuse/ gives
         "a flavour" of our favourite movie critic's latest odyssey MY
         GOODNESS: A CYNIC'S SHORTLIVED SEARCH FOR SAINTHOOD (UKP13.43)
         ... regular reader ALAN HAMILTON-CONNOR isn't often wrong (and
         even when he is, he's still entertaining), proclaiming Scott
         McCloud's REINVENTING COMICS (UKP14.04) a worthy sequel to the
         "almighty" UNDERSTANDING COMICS ("Whinging About Comics, more
         like", mutters one NTK staffer). "Make people buy it through
         your e-commerce hole!" Alan concludes - ideally sampling it
         first via http://www.scottmccloud.com/comics/icst/icst.html
         ... our traumatic page-turner of the month was ex-Punch-
         editor David Thomas' SHOW ME THE MONEY: THE DIARY OF A WANNABE
         INTERNET MILLIONAIRE (UKP10.39), a jaw-dropping account of a
         self-confessed newbie's efforts to accumulate the eponymous
         dot-com fortune, either to provide for his wife and two
         children, or to live the carefree life of an international
         playboy - it's never quite made clear... but ending with books
         that NTK readers have actually written: Simson Garfinkel's
         DATABASE NATION (UKP13.20) has an entertainingly surreal
         digression about his cats - though if you buy it from Amazon
         your "Amazon Recommends" mail fills up with paranoid tomes on
         UN black helicopter mind-control... and, stupidly, we haven't
         yet got hold of a copy of Pat "Queen Of Cyberpunk" Cadigan's
         new VR thriller DERVISH IS DIGITAL (UKP7.99), though we can
         tell you that it's a follow-up to her previous murder-mystery,
         "Tea From An Empty Cup"...


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
                       Registered at the Post Office as
        "We didn't start the fire - but we did try to block the exits" 
                     http://www.fairvue.com/?feature=start
        

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