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  • NTK 2007
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  • NTK 2004
  • NTK 2003
  • NTK 2002
  • NTK 2001
  • 2000-12-22
    #180
    Naughty, nice, on drugs, or at party
  • 2000-12-15
    #179
    Baa sucks, filters up, bunker down
  • 2000-12-08
    #178
    that ageofconsent address, audiogalaxy
  • 2000-12-01
    #177
    Broken thumbs, MP faxotron, T-shirts to go
  • 2000-11-24
    #176
    Mah-lah RIP la-may Falco, bunkoo Lan-par-tay
  • 2000-11-17
    #175
    ICANN but uk.not, performing goats
  • 2000-11-10
    #174
    Gridlock, Antitrust, Adpop
  • 2000-11-03
    #173
    BMG make BFD, anti-RIP goodies, and the Autumn chocolate assortment
  • 2000-10-27
    #172
    Microsoft SourceNotSoSafe, Blitzkriegs and Vint C
  • 2000-10-20
    #171
    Demons of the present, Demons of our past, and the Devil's Gameboy Music
  • 2000-10-13
    #170
    Hot swapping, Christianity mocking, hats made of bread
  • 2000-10-06
    #169
    Rights, wrongs, and Meiji Choco Baby
  • 2000-09-29
    #168
    iPoint, you Barley
  • 2000-09-22
    #167
    Demonic protectors, Future unattractions, Teutonic hip-hop
  • 2000-09-15
    #166
    Another riot, another Perl conference, another bloody browser
  • 2000-09-08
    #165
    Exciting new redesign, same old battles, consume.net
  • 2000-09-01
    MiniNTK #8
    same length, more self-indulgent
  • 2000-08-25
    MiniNTK #7
    going back to our roots
  • 2000-08-18
    MiniNTK #6
    Yog-Soggoth Summer Special
  • 2000-08-11
    #164
    TheirNameHere.com, Demonic Possession, DNScon
  • 2000-08-04
    #163
    Bango, NetSol-io, All around my Barley-o
  • 2000-07-28
    #162
    RIP, MP3s, Klingon - are we seeing a pattern yet?
  • 2000-07-21
    #161
    MAPS vs ORBS vs GOD vs SATAN
  • 2000-07-14
    #160
    RIP vs. Free Speech, Hellfire, Galeon
  • 2000-07-07
    #159
    Free as in beer, borag thungg rebels, mad pride
  • 2000-06-30
    #158
    Slack genes, fake Tates, transhuman vamps
  • 2000-06-23
    #157
    Monopoly Dot Net, Gremlins in the 'froups, more Tech Nicks
  • 2000-06-16
    #156
    RIP tide turns, bizarre bounces, everybuddy!
  • 2000-06-09
    #155
    Forking Microsoft, Kinakuta near Southend, the continuity continuum
  • 2000-06-02
    #154
    BT's CUT pasting, Divas(TM), and Palm Elite
  • 2000-05-26
    #153
    Cix and stones, Onion cloning, BASIC for Perl
  • 2000-05-19
    #152
    Missing Boo, AboveNet not above it, our own mail trojan
  • 2000-05-12
    #151
    More ILOVEYOU, more Microsoft, but no "Webbies", thank God
  • 2000-05-05
    #150
    Tough love, Napster clonez. Paul.
  • 2000-04-28
    #149
    BT0wnedworld, RIPpy no-mates, and Mayday alerts
  • 2000-04-21
    #148
    Napster with Attitude, ICANN can't, and the usual Easter sacrilege
  • 2000-04-14
    #147
    Info insecurity, Sigue Sigue Sputnik - and Yoz
  • 2000-04-07
    #146
    Pitying the fools, sticking it to Linux, consuming Nurishment
  • 2000-03-31
    #145
    The usual retro-shit
  • 2000-03-24
    #144
    RIPping the mickey, Observer redux, and the Opera show
  • 2000-03-17
    #143
    The Telehouse Blob, Lastminute doubts, and an exit West
  • 2000-03-10
    #142
    Spooks, lawyers and the cute one from Zero
  • 2000-03-03
    #141
    RIPping yarns, Microsoft warez, and free as in speech
  • 2000-02-25
    #140
    Microsoft and the Dept of Injustice
  • 2000-02-18
    #135
    Virgin removals, Kevin of Warwick, boner bonanza
  • 2000-02-11
    #134
    Plausible denials, and a nice day for a QUAKE wedding
  • 2000-02-04
    #133
    DeCSS suss, digifreebies, and a one LAN clan shebang
  • 2000-01-28
    #132
    Spam, Sex, Students and the Conservative Party
  • 2000-01-21
    #132
    Crusoe on Friday, Linx, Lynx and Links
  • 2000-01-14
    #131
    there is no "Steve conspiracy"
  • 2000-01-07
    #130
    answers to the 20th century's most pressing problems
  • NTK 1999
  • NTK 1998
  • NTK 1997
  • HARD NEWS
  • ANTI-NEWS
  • EVENT QUEUE
  • TRACKING
  • MEMEPOOL
  • GEEK MEDIA
  • SMALL PRINT
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        "I asked them why, and they said that they considered it to be
        so advanced that they had to take it in, because it was a
        Nokia 9110. And I did have, in fact, a backup of the source
        on it."
     http://www.cnn.com/2000/TECH/computing/01/31/johansen.interview.idg/
 - JON JOHANSEN, the DeCSS 1, on why the police took his mobile phone
...yeah, wait till they see us play pirate DVDs on our *chipped phones*


                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                             the rules are Boole's

         Cease and DeCSS! Yesterday, Judge Kaplan published his
         official decision explaining exactly why a bunch of American
         sites couldn't link to the DeCSS code - like everyone else
         in the Free World. Defence attorneys from the EFF, because
         they're constitutional kind of guys, played the First
         Amendment card. Unfortunately, said The Man, the First
         Amendment, can't be used to permit (from a precedent formed
         to prevent strikers from restraining trade by expressing
         their grievances) a "grave abuse against an important public
         law". Of course, the problem here is that DeCSS is the
         important public against a grave, abusive law: the Digital
         Millennium Copyright Act. Kaplan was convinced that DeCSS's
         purpose was to rip off DVDs (which you can do anyway,
         without all that tedious coding nonsense). The DMCA stops
         such reverse-engineering - unless there's a "commercially
         significant purpose" behind the act. Like its real purpose,
         maybe? To allow Linux users watch the films they've bought?
         What's copyright for, say the founders? To advance public
         welfare, through the "promot[ion] of the Progress of Science
         and useful Arts". The useful Arts? That'll be the
         commercially significant ones - and apparently free software
         *still* isn't commercial enough. And the Progress of
         Science? Well, in the Digital Millennium, if science thinks
         it's progressing out of the moguls' grasp, it's progressing
         straight to jail. Day of action's today.
         http://www.2600.com/
                     - don't restrain any trade with those flyers now
         http://www.enel.ucalgary.ca/~mastracc/opendvd.html
                                                    - more useful art
         http://cryptome.org/dvd-mpaa-3-mo.htm
            - "another step in the evolution of the law of copyright"
         http://www.mpaa.org/
                             - running IIS4. this is a set-up, right?
         
         In the British courts, we have more serious matters to
         consider. Like those Dixons-style "Dreamcast for -9.99"
         e-commerce snafus: should they stump up the goods, or what?
         Perhaps it's time for a test case. Enter JONATHAN SWIFT,
         aptly named reader of uk.tech.digital-tv, who spied the
         satirical potential in a Tandy Webpage, offering a
         terrestrial digibox for just 1p. Tandy have explained that
         that the box (RRP 300UKP), isn't much use without a
         ONdigital subscription. But they're wrong: you can still get
         the free BBC and ITV channels. For a penny. The page is
         still up, and Tandy's Netbanx system instantly charges your
         credit card, making it in legal terms, a done deal. And if
         isn't, we're sure your local Trading Standards would be very
         interested to know why not.
         http://www.tandy.co.uk/dev/1518130.phtml
                                    - vision of boo.com sales to come
         http://www.ntk.net/2000/02/04/dohtandy.gif
                 - in case they fix it. or you need evidence in court
         http://www.deja.com/viewthread.xp?AN=580002177
                                          - we have witnesses, m'lud!

         Who says that the Tory's aren't responsive? We're pleased to
         announce that the SMTP spam relay at tory.org pointed up in
         last Friday's NTK was fixed by Saturday morning. Sadly, the
         Conservatives were a little tardier in stopping one
         supporter from subscribing to their free ISP service this
         week. Within minutes, he'd taken advantage of their homepage
         Webspace offer, and was offering a special "cash for 
         questions" e-commerce service - hosted, naturally, at
         www.tory.org. The page was deleted swiftly, leaving the
         volunteer no alternative but to subscribe again, this time
         running the appeal on a new page:
         http://www.tory.org/home/bollocks/ . Tory.org has now
         suspended all new subscriber registrations. Presumably to
         stop Jeffrey Archer trying the same trick.
         http://www.ntk.net/2000/02/04/dohtory.gif
                             - hey, they should team up with Netbanx!
         http://www.theregister.co.uk/000202-000011.html
                                - Register pals deliver the upper cut


                                >> ANTI-NEWS << 
                             berating the obvious

         more Y2K hubris: http://www.chaosprotocol.com/news.htm ...
         VERIO applies for trademark on the term "whois" ... nine
         percent of Germans admit to having kissed their computer,
         says MICROSOFT poll ... colleague not available for comment:
         http://uk.news.yahoo.com/000203/1/9zquj.html ... Lottery "is
         tax on poor for benefit of the rich" uncovers THE TIMES ...
         ex-CIA chief used home computer to study secret files, porn
         sites ... uprising students fight for dull Aphex Twin video
         at britsvoting.com ... ONDIGITAL's new teletext service gets
         a flying start with Thomas Cook advertising holidays
         departing on "Feb 30" ... a doh so doh-ish, it contains the
         word "doh": http://www.cafe.barclaysquare.com/gadget/ ...
         pretty much exactly the opposite of what the author
         intended: http://www.bbc.co.uk/tickets/radionew.html ...


                               >> EVENT QUEUE << 
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         Thanks to everyone who wrote in complaining about the plasma
         gun "goof" in our recent Transmeta story [NTK 2000-01-21] -
         in fact, there actually *is* a plasma gun in Q3A, to be put
         to good use, no doubt, at this weekend's BAD LAN RISING
         party, from 9am, Sat 2000-02-05, UKP12 per day, the
         Highfield Hotel, Middlesborough (the location has moved
         around in the past, presumably in accordance with a "no
         camping" policy).
         http://www.badlanrising.co.uk/
            - also features a TV + N64, for anyone who needs to "relax"
         http://www.telefragged.com/q3faq/index2.html
             - "also makes some splash damage near the point of impact"

         And spring's in the air, when a young man's fancy turns to...
         what else but PETER SOMMER'S INFORMATION SECURITY COLLOQUIA
         at the LSE in London, which get back into the swing of things
         on Tue 2000-02-08 with Robert Ayres discussing the commercial
         possibilities of the Computer Emergency Response Team, and
         perhaps addressing why CERT advisories have been so lame
         recently.
         http://www.cert.org/advisories/CA-2000-02.html
            - warns of risks in "promiscuous browsing" (ie: "browsing")
         http://csrc.lse.ac.uk/Events/Colloquia.htm
             - if Hugo Cornwall teamed with Knight Rider's Devon Miles,
                       they could call themselves "Devon And Cornwall"!
         

                                >> TRACKING <<
               sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering

         There's a fair argument that states that if you don't already
         know about NMAP, the remote port-scanner, OS guesser, and
         snoopy IP packet miscellanea reporter, you probably
         shouldn't be using it. Thankfully, the authors now
         recognise that almost any ten year old kid understands
         YACC grammars these days, and to that end have added a 
         cool new "$kR1pt K1dd13z" filter to the output. |<3333wl.
         http://www.insecure.org/nmap/
                                                           - "worthy"


                                >> MEMEPOOL << 
                              hasta la altavista

  life imitates Onion: http://www.cnn.com/2000/US/01/31/spider.surgery.ap 
         ... write to the Answerman, and he'll make up some answers:
         http://www.dailyradar.com/features/game_feature_page_311_5.html
         ... when the makers of "Taxicab Confessions" find out just
         how much people will pay for a lame apartment cam,
         somebody's going to have a http://www.crushedplanet.com/ ...
         wouldn't it be great if code reviews were like film reviews?
         http://www.deja.com/=dnc/getdoc.xp?AN=579432658 ... doesn't
         even count her "Falklands bonus"
         http://web.inter.nl.net/users/Paul.Treanor/thatcher.html ...
         just how often are these grand alignments, anyway?
         http://www.currents.net/newstoday/00/02/03/news9.html ...
         this week's scripture quote: "When her scheme is nearly
         accomplished, Bibleman naturally foils her and unveils his
         weapon to mute the mouthy and menacing Gossip Queen." -
         http://www.bibleman.com/... life *really* imitates Onion:
         http://www.theonion.com/onion3603/local_prostitutes.html vs
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/world/asia-pacific/newsid_627000/627012.stm
         

                                >> GEEK MEDIA <<
                                 get out less 

         TV>> "Is it Father Dougal in tights?" inquired last week's 
         Radio Times, perhaps unnecessarily, of lame new Ardal O'Hanlon 
         superhero spoof MY HERO (8.30pm, Fri, BBC1) - apparently he 
         has super powers, but - get this! - *doesn't understand normal 
         human behaviour!* Promisingly, future episodes may indeed 
         tackle the problems of human/superbeing sexual relationships: 
         http://www.blueneptune.com/~svw/superman.html ... overrated 
         black and white yawnathon THE HAUNTING (11.40pm, Sat, BBC2) 
         (recently remade as "The Haunting" and based on the book "The 
         Haunting Of Hill House") is showing in some sort of confused 
         non-tie-in with current movie "The House On Haunted Hill"... 
         while sources inside Rapido, makers of "Eurotrash" and new 
         American filth frolic YANKY PANKY (10pm, Sat, Sky 1), reveal 
         that employees can be disciplined for not having *enough* porn 
         on their work PCs... in case you hadn't noticed, BBC2 is 
         showing Will Smith hipcom THE FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR (6.20pm, 
         Mon, BBC2) from the beginning again, complete with interminable 
         title sequence... Simon Davies is banging on about privacy or 
         something on COUNTERBLAST (7.30pm, Mon, BBC2)... Philip "The 
         Saint" Noyce's best film, Nicole Kidman floater DEAD CALM 
         (9pm, Mon, C5) is Alien - but on a boat!... and a brief cross-
         channel Nicolas Cage Wig Out Season begins with white folks' 
         Driving Miss Daisy chuckle GUARDING TESS (10pm, Mon, C4) and 
         ends with overlong but carnage-packed Michael Bay shoot-out 
         THE ROCK (9pm, Tue, C5)...

         FILM>> yes, traditionally we should be heaping praise like 
         "Not just the best kids' film - but one of the best films 
         *ever*" upon Pixar's high-res CGI follow-up TOY STORY 2 
         (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ : theft; fighting; a 
         video game killing; threat with physical violence; many Barbie 
         dolls dancing in swimwear while characters ogle at them with 
         sensuous expressions)- basically the same fricking film as 
         "Toy Story", but with some of the scenes in a different order, 
         plus quite a good rendering of "Newman" from Seinfeld, an 
         unecessarily heart-rending song about being abandoned by your 
         owner, and endless scenes of Tom Hanks shouting. You do get 
         "Luxo Jr" as a short, though we'd rather see "Knick Knack"... 
         otherwise there's a bunch of low-rent Brit shit - Shane 
         "Twentyfourseven" Meadows' Midlands Grange Hill-alike A ROOM 
         FOR ROMEO BRASS (whose poster implies it's "just pants"), plus 
         Craig Ferguson's unhilarious hairdresser mock-docu THE BIG 
         TEASE (MPAA: rated R for profanity, homosexual themes)... so, 
         although we don't have high hopes for it, we'd go for trashy
         William "The Tingler" Castle remake THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL 
         (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ : asylum madness with 
         knife "surgery"; firearm threats, including to the head; 
         unseen threat throughout most of story; kissing a woman that 
         is implied to be dead; multiple nudity; multiple excessive 
         cleavage/breast exposure; vulgar touching; bizarre and evil-
         looking/sounding introduction; invisible force operating 
         computer; murder by an evil manifestation; murder with several 
         pencils through the neck)...

         RED BOOK AUDIO>> hasn't been much on the soundalike pop front 
         for a while - copyists no doubt stunned into silence by the 
         sheer blatantness of R KELLY'S "If I Could Turn Back Time" 
         tribute to the Righteous Brothers' "Unchained Melody"... but, 
         in a brand new first-ever *double* link-up rip-off, ANDREAS 
         JOHNSON'S "Glorious" closely resembles a Swedish cover of the 
         Manics' "Design For Life", while the Manics' own impassioned 
         rant against object-oriented programming, "The Masses Against 
         The Classes", is curiously reminiscent of Ultravox's "Hymn" 
         (you know: "The power and the glory/ til my kingdom comes!" 
         http://foxleap.fortunecity.com/hymn_ultravox.mid )... in other 
         pop news, we can't remember what that collaboration between 
         Limp Bizkit and Method Man is called, but we're fairly certain 
         it features sound samples from Defender... never mind the hoo-
         ha about William Orbit's "Pieces In A Modern Style" previously 
         hitting the shops about 5 years ago - now that Daphne And 
         Celeste's "Ooh Stick You" has (at last!) been released, 
         Servalan from Blake's Seven [NTK 1999-09-10] has mysteriously 
         disappeared from the video! Well, either that or NTK teeny-pop 
         correspondent NICK DRAGE *hallucinated the entire thing*... 
         speaking of which, the nation still eagerly awaits the radical 
         cyber-rock of LYSERGIC DOWNLOAD, as plugged extensively in 
         January's Time Out (and nowhere else) - the band who've worked 
         out (you've guessed it) "how to communicate the effects of 
         hallucinogenic substances... through a modem". Assuming they 
         actually exist, they should register lysergicdownload.org (or 
         .com) pretty sharpish; it would be "unfortunate" if their 
         anarchic anti-music biz stance included using legal threats to 
         evict squatters from their domain name... back with the 
         soundalikes, first-time caller JOHN HARTNUP reveals that "When 
         johnny-come-lately girl band Atomic Kitten generously invite 
         you to 'Give It To Me Slowly'", it "doesn't half" remind him 
         of the Communards' "Never Can Say Goodbye"... while, 
         concluding our "suggestive girl bands" strand, XY-rockers 
         HEPBURN have notably failed to provide a satisfactory lyrical 
         interpretation of their "Deep Deep Down" track, fuelling net 
         speculation that it "might be about oral sex"...


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
               Registered at the Post Office as "skewed wags"
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/Digital/Features/2000-01/appleaqua310100.shtml

                                 NEED TO KNOW
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  • EVENT QUEUE
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