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         "Playing violent video games like Doom, Wolfenstein 3D or
         Mortal Combat [SIC] can increase aggressive thoughts,
         feelings and behaviour, say researchers"
     http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/health/newsid_720000/720707.stm
...largely out of irritation that you haven't got a more modern machine


                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                                  open wounds

         We were worried we weren't going to have anything nasty to
         say about BT's 40UKP ADSL July roll-out, at least not until
         they actively start buggering it up on a case by case basis.
         But, as ever, we misunderestimated them. If you, too, were
         wondering how exactly "a hidden area" of the BTopenworld
         site was "accessed" and the details of all those
         pre-registering for the service passed on to "unauthorised
         persons", we hope the links below help. In a nutshell: they
         forgot to turn off directory browsing, and stored logs of
         all the SQL transactions in the same directory as the PHP
         scripts. Not that it'd have helped if they *had* turned off
         directory browsing, because when the site's registration PHP
         script crashed, it told you the "hidden" file names anyway.
         BTopenworld's General Manager, Robert Salvoni assured the
         potential customers that BT would be contacting those who
         accessed this "hidden area" and get written confirmation
         that they wouldn't spread the data. Um, Robert: I don't
         think you get it. You don't have their addresses. They have
         *yours*. Oh, and Mr E Sheldon of London? Thanks for
         mentioning us in the "how did you hear about this" box...
         http://www.ntk.net/2000/04/28/signuplist1.gif
                                                  - how very "hidden"
         http://www.ntk.net/2000/04/28/dohopenworld.gif
                                          - either way you look at it

         It's been implied (if only by the voices in our heads) that
         only cranks are really opposed to the Regulation of
         Investigatory Powers Bill. So, just to give you the latest
         list of civil rights lunatics joining in opposition: well,
         rather predictably, the Loyal Opposition themselves ("his
         marvellous new technology should not be blighted by
         overmighty Government interference."), followed neatly by
         the ISPA and LINX ("When we consulted the ISPA and LINX
         members, their statements have been uniformly negative, and
         nearly all Internet traffic in the UK is carried by the
         members of ISPA and LINX.") - oh, and the Data Protection
         Commissioner ("The Commissioner takes the view that the
         privacy of individuals can be compromised equally by the
         interception of communications, surveillance, and access to
         encrypted data. Indeed intrusive surveillance could be the
         more invasive."). Third reading is on May 8th. Let's see if
         the government can find someone who actually likes the new
         law by then.
         http://www.fipr.org/rip/
                                         - strange bedfellows, indeed

         Viewers of C4's DOTCOMEDY (Fridays, 11pm) will no doubt
         already be impressed by the level of technical expertise on
         display: the determination to show all pages in an ill-fitting
         box that doesn't fill the screen; the swift collapse of their
         own site after the first transmission; the casual use of the
         term "MPEG" to describe any online video. Reassurance, of a
         sort, comes in an email, apparently from one of dotcomedy's
         researchers, received by retro-telly resource TVCREAM: "We
         would like to use the theme from 'Roobarb' to go with a clip
         on the show," the researcher explains. "I have downloaded the
         clip from your website, but I need to clear the publishing for
         use. Could you please advise me on how I go about doing this?"
         You know, we think we saw a "researching a telly program"
         FAQ page somewhere on one of these Web page things...
         http://www.dotcomedytv.com/rig/
                                      - as if you hadn't been insulted enough...
         http://tv.cream.org
                     - ner-ner-ner-ner, ner-ner-ner-ner, ner-ner-ner NER ner-ner


                                >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         DAIKATANA "towering mediocrity" - Daily Radar ... JOHN
         MARKOFF, famously trustworthy NYT journalist, leaks results
         of Ars Electronica award - which he himself judged ... not
         the stock option pack we were hoping for:
         http://www.ntk.net/2000/04/28/dohstockex.gif ... EXCITE's
         new free ISP forbids game servers, streaming video, fun:
         http://www.thefreeinternet.net/service.htm ... COREL says
         that if it's not allowed to take over BORLAND, it'll go
         bust... DAIKATANA "sucks the sweat off of dogs balls" - Evil
         Avatar ... INTERVAL LABS: a Paul "Falco" Allen special ...
         http://www.dailyradar.com/features/game_feature_page_646_1.html
         ... www.wallpaper.com is: exactly as you'd expect...
         DAIKATANA "best game I ever wrote" - John Romero
         http://www.oldmanmurray.com/realnews.wcs ... oh, and you
         thought that CD-ROM of director's addresses was bad:
         http://www.ntk.net/2000/04/28/dohscoot.gif ... oh, those
         Jedi Mind Tricks: http://www.ntk.net/2000/04/28/dohamazon.jpg ...
         IBM provides software with which to hang yourself:
         http://m.doubleclick.net/viewad/342415-light_468x6010k3loopaaaa.gif



                               >> EVENT QUEUE <<
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         Another fun-packed Bank Holiday for agitators everywhere,
         with not just the much-advertised fight between rival
         anarchist factions [see NTK 2000-03-31] at the FORTEAN TIMES
         UNCONVENTION (2000-04-29/30, Kensington's Commonwealth
         Institute, London), but also MAYDAY 2000 (from today, we
         think, all across London) - a "Festival of Anti-Capitalist
         Ideas And Action". The latter seems to be the one advertised
         around town with stickers featuring that notorious stooge of
         the military-industrial complex, Cartman - leading the
         casual reader to perhaps misread the "Capitalism Sucks Ass!"
         slogan as "Cartman Sucks Ass!", and to conclude that the
         whole thing's some sort of misguided protest against South Park.
         http://www.forteantimes.com/uncon/uncon2000/
                           - unconventional lack of "index.html" page
         http://www.freespeech.org/mayday2k/index2k.htm
                  - now even the anarchists have a Flash "skip intro"

                                >> TRACKING <<
               sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering

         The super-distributed super-distributing super-spamming MP3
         glory that is Gnutella would be even more super, we feel, if
         we could ever get it to work. Never fear: for lamers who
         could never find a decent server to connect to, comes Cap'n
         Bry's GNUTELLA WEB GATEWAY. Search the Gnutella Net for your
         favourite, uh, backup copies, and download via simple URLs:
         that's the theory. In practice, we couldn't get this to work
         either, leading us to believe that either a) the latest
         Gnutella clients don't allow anything but other Gnutella's
         from grabbing files over HTTP, or b) its collective mind
         hates us. Never mind: link included because it's fun to play
         with, has the PHP source so you can tweak and copy, and
         because it's also got a nifty affiliate link to myplay.com's
         "music locker" service, so you don't even have to download
         the files to your own machine. Particularly hilarious, given
         MyPlay's CEO's recent dissing of Napster. "A business model
         built on theft" is how Doug Camplejohn described his
         competition to Red Herring, while MyPlay "operate this side
         of the legal line". Line just got closer, Doug: whose side
         are you on?
         http://capnbry.dyndns.org/gnutella/gs.php
                                                             - nutty!
         http://www.artistdirect.com/metallica/
                   - "this is Metallica, after all. They can take it"



                                >> MEMEPOOL << 
                              hasta la altavista

         inevitably: http://resumes.dice.com/mozilla ... the people's
         AERON (altho not sure how many would want to sit on a Caper)
         ... asking "does JEEVES have an evil twin?" ... SHATNER to
         cover Numan's "Cars" ... that whole "anti-posers" thing?
         surely just - A POSE! http://www.stevoland.co.uk/posers/
         throw 'em a curve: http://www.enormicom.com/09.html ... PHIL
         KATZ dies trying to compress world's alcohol into smallest
         possible space ... Falco remix album by 'noisy noisenik' Kid
         606... interesting Amazon recommendations for
         http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0860914623/ ... it 
         *is* 2000AD: http://www.newscientist.com/news/news_223622.html


                                >> GEEK MEDIA <<
                                 get out less

         TV>> after the over-literal interpretation of last week's 100
         Greatest TV *Moments*, here's hoping they play each of THE 100
         GREATEST TV ADS *in full* (9.05pm, Sat, C4) - they should do
         100 Top TV Title Sequences next, we reckon... Cindy Crawford /
         William Baldwin actioner FAIR GAME (11.10pm, Sat, ITV) has few
         redeeming features - except Crawford's, Steven Berkoff's
         terrible overacting, and a sex scene in which Baldwin shoots a
         bad guy... and, continuing the "curse" of the actually OK-ish
         THE CROW: CITY OF ANGELS (10.50pm, Sat, C5), we heard that
         someone was once killed while inking the comic-book... after
         last Sun's "Happy Birthday Shakespeare", this week's BBC1 9pm
         Sunday evening 30-something nonsense starring Dervla Kirwan
         and Amanda Holden is called HEARTS AND BONES, should you    
         care... C5's supernatural chicks night, featuring original  
         SMG-free movie BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (9pm, Sun, C5), spills
         over to infect Neve Campbell's unacknowledged "Charmed"
         inspiration THE CRAFT (10pm, Sun, C4)... and child-genius
         composer Daniel Pemberton mails to alert/warn readers of his
         "speed metal theme from Dallas" contribution to DALLAS NIGHT
         (from 8pm, Mon, C4)... chipping away at your natural
         objections to "going digital", ITV2 starts running ultra-
         recent episodes of topical uber-chat LATE SHOW WITH DAVID
         LETTERMAN (11.50pm, Mon-Fri)... tough call though for anyone
         who has to get up for animated STARSHIP TROOPERS (7am, Tue-
         Fri, Sky1) - who just lost the "Heavy Gear" contract to the
         Reboot guys http://www.roughneckchronicles.com/ ... while,
         finally, good to see the genetic expertise acquired by Debra
         Messing in PREY (1.30am, Thu, C4) going to good use in her new
         ad for Clairol "Nice And Easy" hair colouring, in which she
         attributes her "lovely auburn hair" to the superior genetic
         heritage of "[her] mother"...

         FILM>> "Far closer to the spirit of Trek fandom than many
         actual Star Trek films" seems to paraphrase the general
         feeling about surprisingly satisfying spoof GALAXY QUEST
         (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ : torture [some unseen
         but heard]; monstrous alien with evil intent; death by weapon;
         fantasy gore of spewing alien flesh; accusation of sexual
         immorality in a bravado style; progressively exposing damage
         to woman's clothing; at least 23 instances of excessive
         cleavage) - Sigourney "Ghostbusters" Weaver hilarious as ever,
         while Tim Allen does a better Shatner than even Shatner does
         nowadays... "all bets are off" chortles Jenny McCarthy-killer
         SCREAM 3 (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ : fights;
         firearms and gunfire to kill; a mannequin beheaded; reckless
         driving to rescue; woman in shower; woman in towel only;
         adults in underwear; vulgar accusation; story telling of
         immoral sex), though even these self-referential teens have to
         admit they won't win over many non Scream 1 & 2 viewers at
         this late stage... otherwise there's the easily confused
         arthouse ponderings of Jim Jarmusch's GHOST DOG: THE WAY OF
         THE SAMURAI (imdb: independent-film / assassination / bird /
         hip-hop / hitman / ice-cream / mafia / samurai)... Wim
         Wenders' Bono-scripted THE MILLION DOLLAR HOTEL (imdb: sequel  
         / murder / painting / retarded / suicide / video-footage /
         detective / hooker / love / independent-film / misfit)... or,
         for the real purists, Ralph Fiennes in the limited-release
         "personal history of modern Hungary", spanning "150 years"
         (Time Out) SUNSHINE (imdb: austria-hungary / independent-film
         / epic / fencing / holocaust / jewish-culture)...

         FOREIGN FOODS>> following NTK 2000-04-07's rallying call for
         sightings of this year's new ice-cream crop, Finland's
         MICHAEL WALSH wrote to say "The only thing new about WALLS
         SOLERO ICE is that it's from Walls," going on to boast -
         "We've had Solero Ice here for at least a couple of years.
         It's basically a francised internationalised scam like
         Magnum - only in the case of Solero it's orange ice with a
         vanilla ice-cream filing on a stick. Sounds very much like
         what you've been able to buy for years doesn't it?" Well,
         now you mention it, yes it does - but there is, we're sure,
         something "different" about the "ice" version. It's always
         nice to get a fresh perspective from the Linus-homeland,
         though - as proved by Michael's subsequent description of
         the terrifying arrival of Weetabix BANANABIX in that
         normally peaceable and progressive nation... elsewhere in
         the Linux-branded edible world, SIMON HEWISON recommended
         the import-only Penguin-branded caffeinated PEPPERMINTS from
         http://www.peppermints.com/ - "ideal if you like Altoids and
         coffee". "What's more," he adds, perhaps in reference to
         their 'Warning: for use while driving or operating heavy
         machinery', "the guys who make it seem rather bizarre"...
         JAMES "CRAZYNET, CRAZY GUY" WALLIS spotted a "French-fry
         vending machine with integral deep-fat fryer"
         http://www.tastyfries.com/machine.cfm ... while music-hall
         star ADAM ATKINSON spoke highly of New Zealand's
         "bewilderingly large range of strange but wonderful
         chocolate bars", including the "MORO ENERGY BAR - a revved
         up plain chocolate Mars Bar"... but globe-trotting
         confectionery kings of the month (and not just 'cos they
         sent us a whole box of the stuff) are, indeed, "those guys
         who do American snack imports" CYBERCANDY
         http://www.cybercandy.co.uk . Imagine numerous weird,
         alternate-reality analogues of familiar UK brands, (though
         often divided into two small Bounty-like sub- bars, and
         almost invariably featuring peanut butter), like: OH HENRY!
         (fudgey Snickers), 3 MUSKETEERS (a rich, dark, giant Milky
         Way, with "45% Less Fat Than Average Of The Leading
         Chocolate Brands"), BABY RUTH (a curious, wafer-free Picnic
         or Lion), 100 GRAND (Nestle Dairy Crunch?), ALMOND JOY
         (self- explanatory Bounty-alike), and of course infinite
         variations on REESE'S PIECES - with the promise of
         Antipodean and Japanese sweets to come! Plus, they're the
         only online food e-tailer we've seen to operate a
         pay-you-in-chocolate affiliates scheme...


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
                       Registered at the Post Office as
                                 "gone native"
                 http://www.icioregon.com/Personnel/OBrien.htm

                                 NEED TO KNOW
            THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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