_ _ _____ _ __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the uk>
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because Mac customers appreciate that."
- MICROSOFT's Irving Kwong
... PC users, on the other hand, take the most amazing amount of
wait, is this microphone on?
>> HARD NEWS <<
On Monday, the REGULATION OF INVESTIGATORY POWERS BILL will
get its second reading in the Commons. Then it goes to
committee, then it becomes law, and then you'll never hear
from it again, because talking about most of its powers will
get you five years in prison. So, when the police ask your
ISP to put a tap on your mail, you won't hear about it. When
your local trades and standards officer decides to take a
look at your browser log for the last month, you won't hear
about it. And when they come and get your private encryption
key so that can read your friend's mails, you won't be able
to tell your friend - or us - that it happened. Hell, you
won't even be able to change your key if that might give us
a clue. Given that it's all going to get so quiet so soon,
STAND thought it might be an idea to let our MPs know that
we're still here. So, with mild and belated fanfare, please
welcome - STAND's Open Web to MP fax gateway. Peruse the
bloody-long-but-not-as-long-as-the-bill STAND Guide to RIP,
then send your comments on the Bill direct to your
constituency MP's office with just a few clicks. But please
be quick - MPs have only ten days from Monday to
propose their amendments. At the very least, we should get
an anti-spam statute out of it.
- may be a few bugs. but, hey, there's bugs everywhere these days
- liberty requires eternal vigilance (and magnifying glass)
The CONSUMER PROJECT ON TECHNOLOGY's proposal to ICANN that
the .union top level domain be introduced, as well as
.isnotfair, .isnotgreen, and .sucks (for official AOL-haters
sites, and the like) sounds like a joke. Well, that's
because it is. Or at least, its serious intent is mainly in
seeing what ICANN's response will be. Previously, ICANN has
insisted that its function was principally technical: the
anti-corporate stand taken by these domains is partially an
attempt to see just how far ICANN can toe the line before
throwing up their hands and going "Okay, we're molls of the
international business community, what can we say?". Of
course, what *might* happen is they'll create those domains,
AOL et al will buy them all up and then we'll have to pay
them millions to slag off their own companies. This would
fit the pattern we're seeing.
- would Esther sue over dyson.sucks - even if www.dyson.com owned it?
So what's the latest group to fell afoul of the US
government's still-twitching export controls on downloading
128-bit secure browsers? Might it have been - the US
government, whose own justice department had to obtain a
sworn affidavit that they weren't Iraq or something before
they could ftp Netscape's domestic browser across? A lot of
effort for a few bits: especially when, in a parallel
mess-up, MICROSOFT were offering the same product for
download at www.microsoft.com. A 19.7MB installation guide
for Exchange 2000 released this week included 1.7 megs of
documents - and 18 megs of Netscape 4.7. Taunt that DOJ with
your warez pr0w3ss, Bill!
- fixed now. still, nice to know they use it in-house
>> ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
whois format changes *again* ... used NEWTONs cost more than
they did new - say Newton users ... unfortunate ticker
truths: http://www.ntk.net/2000/03/03/bbcdoh.gif ... sure,
save the water-based lifeforms on Europa, but does anyone
care about the sentient gas-bags in Jupiter's atmosphere?
Nooooo ... Falco! Oracle's NETWORK COMPUTER ARCHITECTURE
site: http://www.oracle.com/nca/ ... a little too late for
literacy tests: http://www.ntk.net/2000/03/03/abcdoh.gif ...
"interactive pizza" fails to show: geeks starve in their
thousands http://www.ntk.net/2000/03/03/domindoh.gif ...
NEGROPONTE says he chose Ireland for the new media lab
because "the Irish are mad": mad enough to give him money,
certainly ... "'The message is clear.' The judge tells
everybody, 'Don't go too far with the Internet, because you
are going to pass Go and go to jail,'", reports WIRED,
showing judges misunderstand both the Net and Monopoly ...
2099 proving to be quite a year for album releases:
http://www.audiostreet.infront.co.uk/cgi-bin/show?Key=audio-4321360392 >> EVENT QUEUE <<
goto's considered non-harmful
If we've timed this right, you'll already have missed the
new media rubbish at onedotzero's retrospective at the Lux
Cinema in Hoxton Square, London tonight - but you can still
tag along for 2100GMT's cinema showing of videos by Spike
Jonze, Hexstatic and Chris Cunningham. And if you really are
the sort of person who thinks the FMV inserts in games are
"the best bit", the whole shebang is showing again at,
inevitably, Brighton's Cinematheque on March 16th.
- "as close to the future as you're likely to get" says the
>> TRACKING <<
sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering
For those of you who have waited an eponymous duration for
the Eternity network, FREENET may provide some solace. Both
have similar aims: a network of machines that provide
permanent access to anonymously-uploaded documents which
might otherwise be censored by having servers shut down, or
the original source traced. Freenet works using a genuinely
non-hierachical set of nodes which have limited knowledge
about each other. Send your file to one of them, and
eventually most of the nodes will be able to relay your file
to anyone who knows its name. Once the server numbers have
reached a critical mass over a number of political domains,
it'll be almost impossible to censor anyone. Server numbers
is, naturally, where you come in. The first version of the
GPL'd software is now available for beta-testing: if you
have a machine permanently connected to the Net and running
Java 1.1, you too can take place in the first network
trials. Obligatory strong crypto is to come shortly. And not
a moment too soon, it would seem.
- you just know it's going to filled with Gilmore dox for
the first month or two
- your very own home from cryptome
- not putting ideas into your head or anything
>> MEMEPOOL <<
hasta la altavista
cannabis destroys brain tumours: MO MOWLAM vindicated ... no
catch caches at http://proxys4all.cgi.net/ ... pope vs pope:
http://www.truecatholic.org/ ... spams from Evel Knieval ...
DAVE WINER patents anti-patent rhetoric ... Clinton imitates
... "Not that we're bitter" vs "Life imitates Onion" -
... GPL RPGs ... Mecha no! http://www.earleshouse.com/mps.html
... much more interesting when you can't see the ad
campaign: http://www.ilovecheese.com/ ... are these people on
*drugs*? http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/story/99.html ...
vs http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=590984602 ... expedite
*this*! http://www.sentient.com/%7Epcm2/action_item.gif ...
when Denial Of Service gets really harsh:
http://www.af.mil/news/Feb2000/n20000229_000305.html ... JWZ
+ MP3 = GRONK : http://www.jwz.org/gronk/ ...
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
get out less
FILMS>> Dave's still away, and our deeply held beliefs
prevent us from staring too long at Satan's Lantern, so not
much in the way of films this week. Still, in case you
didn't already know, director du jour Spike Jonze is the
serf erased from the publicity for THREE KINGS
(http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ : Wanton Violence/Crime
- field impalement to relieve collapsed lung) - what appears
to be an unnecessary field upgrade of the old Clint Eastwood
comedy "Kelly's Heroes", sending the message to America's
"CNN generation" that the Gulf War wasn't just about that
one laser guided missile zooming down a chimney. No, there
were the soldiers on the ground doing the real dirty work -
like performing rectal searches on POWs...
TV>> those bastards finally did it - they scheduled a
widescreen run for THE PLANET OF THE APES movies. But,
since you already know the twist, we advise that the only
way to watch "the Apes" is in chronological order - so tape
the original (Sat, 20:05, C4) and "BENEATH THE" (Sat, 23:10,
C4) then watch pseudo-prequel "ESCAPE FROM" (Sun night,
00:00, C4) and wait for C4 to schedule "BATTLE FOR" and
"CONQUEST OF" first... it's fairly obvious that scripts for
the "classics" of TWILIGHT ZONE: ROD STERLING'S LOST
CLASSICS (Sat night, 00:20, BBC1) were probably "lost" in
the conical metal "Twilight Zone" in Rod's office...
continuing Channel 5's perpetual bullshit season: Gilliam's
THE ADVENTURES OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN (Sun, 16:40, C5) another
movie cursed by evil, clean-shaven Robin Williams - set
loose yet again for period stand-up routine GOOD MORNING
VIETNAM (Mon, 22:00, C4) ... CLONED (Mon, 21:00, C5) is not
quite the hilarious sci-fi comedy you might have expected
from the name, then again neither is the similarly titled
SNL-spinoff CONEHEADS (Tue, 23:55, BBC1) nor indeed the
hideously misleading FUNNY GAMES (Tue, 23:00, C4) ... and
more scheduling hilarity as THE X-FILES (Wed, 22:20, BBC1)
airs against decidedly non-paranormal relationship-docu THE
EX-FILES (Wed, 22:30, C4) possibly in a bid for that coveted
"got confused when setting the video-timer" audience-share...
BOOKZ>> With our Uncharacteristically Generous Literary
Correspondent, Mr Ben Moor: "Toby Litt has written a cracking
thriller in CORPSING. Anything that opens in an editing
suite for the Discovery Channel's Shark Week knows from
cool. Contains: the best descriptions of bullet trajectories
since the heyday of Kennedy Assassination literature, and
great tips on how to ruin Shakespeare at the Barbican...
Dave Egger's impressively self aware memoir of bringing up
his 8 year old brother after both his parents died is called
A HEARTBREAKING WORK OF STAGGERING GENIUS and you kind of
feel obliged to make some funny comment on the title. He's
the guy behind Might magazine (which for us defined the
midearly and then the earlymid nineties) and McSweeneys (
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/ ) and could be the Tom Wolfe of
the 21st century if he feels like it. But he probably won't.
Whatever. Contains: a great stapler drawing... knowing a new
book by Douglas Coupland is on the way is like being about
to win at pass the parcel. You're enjoying the suspense of
waiting, but what if the thing is rubbish? MISS WYOMING
luckily is very not. There's a very neatly structured story
that takes you from the madness of child beauty pageants to
the relative sanity of a movie executive who decides to
'walk the earth.'... and Dave Barry's BIG TROUBLE is a total
hoot. If PG Wodehouse had used more and bigger weapons in
his stories, they'd still only be about half as funny as
this. Psychedelic toads, water pistols, former Soviet
armaments, it's got everything a Miami novel needs. Plus
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
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Registered at the Post Office as "DIY"
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