Need To Know 2000-06-30

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"And as for the 'I've got mine, you don't matter' attitude Kakutani and Borsook describe, I'm finding it particularly hard to reconcile with the new iBook sitting on my desk - the one those hackers in Dearborn gifted me with three days ago, throwing over $1,000 in the hat to do it simply because they liked me and wanted me to be part of their gang." - ESR on Kakutani's doh-laden NY Times article http://www.salon.com/tech/feature/2000/06/28/kakutani/ ...after five hours, $1000 is cheap to get rid of him ( http://macweek.zdnet.com/2000/06/18/0622mhkeynote.html ) >> HARD NEWS << ataattagagaataaaa loosed The HUMAN GENOME PROJECT announced its results on Monday, and across the world, scientists asked themselves "Can we play God? What hath we wrought? And where the hell is the data?" The URL given out at the press conference led to a "404 Helix Not Found", and in the days since the announcement, nothing else turned up. Eventually the data slid out late Thursday evening. Pretty disappointing, even when you realise that this is only a beta of an unsorted pile of source code, and they haven't even set up an anonymous CVS server for patches. In the end, eager researchers were left scrabbling around trying to find the final pieces in unofficial archives. Yep: there are, apparently, zero-day genomez sites. http://www.ornl.gov/hgmis/ - delay due to cleaning up comments, removing proprietary Krebs cycle info ftp://ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/refseq/H_sapiens/Contigs/ - a README, but no Makefile? Ingenious of the TATE to make one of its first Web commissions an *ingenious* "remix" of its own Flash-laden site by "Harwood" of the Mongrel collective. Much more entertaining - and with more hits - is Nick Crowe's unofficial www.tategallery.org.uk ("we're blowing the Dome out of the water!!!"). Or his Turner Prize site ( http://www.turnerprize.org.uk - send your nominations to Iwanttoshortlistsomeonefor2001@turnerprize.org.uk ), or any of the twenty or so modern galleries, artists and institutions he's registered so far. Nick says he'll give the domains back to their similar-sounding owners in a couple of months once the performance is fin. We're looking forward to Nick's next work, which will apparently have titles like "THE EMAIL FROM THE JOURNALIST AT THE NEW STATESMEN TO THE WOMAN AT THE SERPENTINE ASKING IF SMOKING IS PERMITTED ON THE PATIO". http://www.tate.org.uk/webart/mongrel/home/default.htm - v. daring http://www.tategallery.org.uk/ - more accessible than the official site http://www.nettime.org/nettime.w3archive/200006/msg00179.html - "do you hope this helps to find you a dealer?" asks Matthew Fuller, bitterly http://www.pc.maricopa.edu/departments/art/fuller.html - hehehe Our deadhead E-ENVOY finally responded to the hundreds of complaints about RIP sent to his office, by talking to a bunch of Americans about it. He said that some Britons were worried that RIP allowed "snooping on all e-mail traffic", and added the reality was "very different". He also got the name of the bill wrong, which may mean he's in a different reality himself. Some clues to this parallel universe: the same week, he told MPs that there was no reverse burden of proof in the Bill. Which is odd, because days later Lord Bassam gave an amendment which removed the nonexistent reverse burden. There's still a lot of bugs in the bill, very few of which are being sorted out by the government, and most of which are being fixed by those "needlessly concerned" peers. A thankless task, especially with MP Andrew Miller's assertion in the other place that "the people who oppose this Bill are playing right into the hands of the most evil criminals on the planet". Good to know we're not dupes of Skeletor. http://www.e-envoy.gov.uk/2000/SPEECHES/wwc26jun00.htm - it's "regulation of investigatory powers" http://www.fipr.org/rip/ - final report stage on 2000-07-10 >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious UK starts turning SEALAND employees away at the airport ... you'll get those ADSLs just as soon as we've found http://www.ntk.net/2000/06/30/adsldoh.gif ... whatever you say, APPLE: http://www.ntk.net/2000/06/30/appledoh.gif ... http://www.nytimes.com/library/tech/00/06/biztech/articles/27note.html vs http://www.mcsweeneys.net/1999/01/23michiko.html ... it *is* 2000AD http://news.bbc.co.uk/low/english/uk_politics/newsid_812000/812935.stm ... what have we done? http://www.geocities.com/walters_mission/ ... is this the most self-referential FAQ? or is it this: http://www.ctod.com/unhappy/faq.htm ? ... slow news day at SLASHDOT: http://www.ntk.net/2000/06/30/slash-slow.png ... for kids, designed by kids? http://www.georgewbush.com/youth/ ... registered users costing SEGA 100 UKP each in TV ad costs alone accidentally reveals http://www.green-moon.co.uk/sega/chuchu~3.htm ... noooo! I said "Jon Katz *above* the 'actor who made periodic appearances on Seinfeld'": http://www.flatoday.com/space/explore/stories/2000a/062500e.htm >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful Well, we did nominate http://www.ntk.net/boldoh/ for "Best use of multimedia", but looks like we'll have to settle for mentions in "Best news story broken on the Net" and "Internet journalist(s) of the year" at the EUROPEAN ONLINE JOURNALISM AWARDS, part of NETMEDIA 2000 at City University, London EC1, from Thursday 2000-07-06, UKP225 for both days (concessions available). By way of demonstrating either our noted editorial integrity or our famed aptitude for wrecking our chances at the very last minute, after we last commented on the incongruity of a "Shell Award for Best Investigative Reporting", reader Fiona Campbell-Howes wished she'd nominated "Urban 75 for their http://www.urban75.com/Action/boycott.html or indeed http://www.oneworld.org/delta/ . Ho ho." http://www.net-media.co.uk/eolja/shortlist.htm - yes, "the NTK Team". All ~15,000 of you... Same place, a month later, but it's probably just too late to register for TRANSVISION MM (also City University, London Sat- Sun from 2000-07-15/16, UKP100 for both days), a gathering of European transhumanists (a non-trademarked version of Extropians?) rather than, say, fans of Wendy James' "I Want Your Love" late '80s rock band. (Though, is it just us, or is there something really *mid-'90s* about that whole wacky "faith in technology" schtick?) Meanwhile, a rather more tongue-in-cheek enthusiasm for sci-fi manifests itself at "Literary Humour & Sci-Fi Convention" ALIENS STOLE MY HANDBAG (this weekend, from 2000-06-30, Shepperton Moat House Hotel, Middx), a thinly disguised excuse to equip Robert Rankin and fans with "military vehicles" and kick the asses of Douglas Adams/ Terry Pratchett readers once and for all. http://www.lostcarpark.com/aliensstolemyhandbag/military.html - cool idea, but are they playing the humans, or the Martians? http://www.itm-ed.de/tvamp/recordings/index.html - "Sex Kick". What the hell was that one about? http://www.transhumanism.com/tv2k/ - nice link to http://www.kevinwarwick.org.uk/ , though >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering No evidence that we've just got a new Visor here: it's two years since SFCave zig-zagged its way out of Japan, and it's still one of the most addictive (and small) games for the Palm. It's 7K unzipped, needs only one button to operate, and feels like Scramble on a coke-soaked arcade console. For a taste, try Lab6's Java version. For a bit of a travesty, try the original author's 3D version for Windows. http://www.lab6.com/sfcave.html - at last a game for Macs http://www.pda.tucows.com/palm/preview/028-005-001-081C.html - a preview that's bigger than the game http://www.bekkoame.ne.jp/~sunflat/win/3dcv2.html - that difficult transition >> MEMEPOOL << hasta la altavista now *that's* planning: whois www.arsedigita.com ... RSA in 900 lines of JScript: http://my.netian.com/~dubs37/eng_cyber_rsa.htm ... Mitnick TAKEDOWN available in PAL Iceland: anyone want to send us a copy? ... not quite what the ANNE RICE fans had in mind: http://viscera.boners.com/ ... this week's "swearing at tech support" http://www.whatisthematrix.org.uk/bti.html ... /. RPG http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=cyoa&threshold=-1 ... "whoever [took the swearing out] really missed the fucking point" - the true story of http://www.adminspotting.org/ ... sod adcritic, here's: http://www.myvideogames.com/html/retrocorner.asp ... absolut overclocked: http://www.exaflop.org/docs/x86still/ ... nest o' Nathans: http://www.tvdinnersuk.com/about_us.html ... $10,000 buys all the filth you can handle http://www.greatdomains.com/domains/details.asp?domid=802440 ... CBS imitates that BRASS EYE "crime" episode: http://play.rbn.com/?url=cbs/cbs/demand/20000627/fenton_cbs_britain_80.rm >> GEEK MEDIA << the less rude http://www.tvgohome.com TV>> Mel & "Light Lunch" Sue appear to be covering "I Know Him So Well" from Chess in CELEBRITY STARS IN THEIR EYES 4 (8.05pm, Sat, ITV) - a source of endless amusement for kids who've just discovered the usage of "know - in the Biblical sense of the word"... Larry Clark's sensationalised teen filth KIDS (11pm, Sat, C4) will be hopefully preceded by its very own Adam & Joe stuffed animals spoof... and ITV seems to be doing the whole trilogy with Jim Cameron's over-rated running- through-corridors Titanic dry-run ALIENS (12.15am, Sat, ITV)... on cable/ digital/ satellite, Sci-Fi appears to have swiftly ditched its "not just for nerds" ad campaign with a complete re-run of Lexx, plus exemplary '70s Brit dystopia [THE] QUATERMASS [CONCLUSION] (12noon, Sun, Sci-Fi)... no, you haven't just woken from a decade-long coma - Robin Williams' above-average Oliver Sacks adaptation AWAKENINGS (7pm, Sun, C5) gets its second outing in just over 2 years... while, according to our memory implants, Dick-fuelled Arnie/ Sharon Stone fantasy TOTAL RECALL (10pm, Sun, C4) was last shown on ITV just under 3 months ago... in the wake of the "Love Bug" virus, PANORAMA (10pm, Mon, BBC1) carries out a well-reasoned risk-analysis of "Cyber Attacks"... "one-off sketch show" (read: "uncommissioned pilot") TV TO GO (10.50pm, Tue, BBC1) promises a "comic slant on life's everyday problems, such as using mobile phones"... a couple more docu-soap genres collide in hidden electron-microscoper THE SECRET LIFE OF THE FAMILY (8pm, Wed, BBC1)... and we *still* rate the beat-poetry and butcher's shop montage from Mike Myers' pre-Austin Powers SO, I MARRIED AN AXE MURDERER (11.30pm, Wed, ITV)... FILM>> endorsing our plans for a "That'll Do Pig" chain of "Babe"-themed restaurants, both Burger King (in the US) and egg-distributors Stonegate Dairies are running potentially ill-advised product tie-ins with laboriously over-rated Aardman WW2 parody CHICKEN RUN (http://www.screenit.com/ : a brief, but non-explicit moment includes the hens offering to share their bunks with a visiting rooster; phrases: "Load of tripe," "Poppycock," Rocky repeatedly calls Ginger "doll face" despite her asking him not to, "Chicks" [for women/hens], "Suck," "Shut up," "You Nancy," "You idiot," "Four eyes", "Bum" [for one's behind], and "Put your head between your knees and kiss your bum goodbye")... Neve "Scream" Campbell, Matthew "Chandler" Perry mug gamely through - at last! - a feature-length movie version of that "Friends" episode where everyone thinks Chandler's gay, in inexplicably titled THREE TO TANGO (http://www.capalert.com/ : female mouth on male stomach; repeated homosexual suggestions, admissions and presences; satanic punk gathering)... otherwise a couple of limited-release curios: Donald "Performance" Cammell's (re- cut?) Christopher Walken cult WILD SIDE (http://www.cndb.com: "[Anne] Heche has a great body - beautiful tits, perfect nipples and a nice round ass. Rides Walken in the beginning and then has sex with Joan [Twin Peaks] Chen. Anne is on top of Joan while they make out and Joan freely fondles Anne's ass. Ellen is a very lucky girl")... or behind-the-scenes wrestling tell-all BEYOND THE MAT (http://www.screenit.com/ : kids may want to imitate the many wrestling related moves, stunts and fighting that occur in this film; one wrestler shows that he can vomit on command; some male wrestlers occasionally wear small tights during their matches)... and, believe us, the "previews" are the only thing "special" about M:I2 ( http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/mi2.html )... BONER BONANZA>> BOB SCHULZE foolishly attempted to correct last week's use of "decimate" [NTK 2000-06-23] to describe Deja ditching 10% of their audience, believing it means to "reduce *to* 10%", not "by 10%". Bzzt! Sorry Bob, common misconception: we were right all along, as are you when you concede: *however* many percent it is, it's still a stupid idea... genuine errors on our part, however, included blaming NTK 2000-06-16's big-screen doh on "MacOS" - "It's a Director error dialogue!", our Mac-familiar readers screamed before, typically, noting that public MacOS crashes are "extremely rare", at least compared to the recorded incidence of BSODs. Hey guys, maybe no-one *uses* MacOS any more, or something... while LEE HOLDEN helpfully provided the full ancestry of Daphne And Celeste's "U.G.L.Y", having learned from "The Jo Whiley Show" (of all places!) that it has "virtually the same chorus as Fishbone's U.G.L.Y. from their self-titled debut mini-album". "Members of Fishbone were recently on trial for kidnapping their own (ex) guitarist and founder member," Lee goes on to allege, so don't expect to see them purusing the copyright on that one any time soon... but, biggest boner of the bunch protruded from last week's complex Amazon gift voucher hack, with anonymous respondents highlighting that attempts to raise UKP100 in credit by signing up 20 friends to http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/subst/partners/friends/access.html are hindered by the fact that only one UKP5 "return" voucher can be used per sale, and that the system as described hinges on the (largely unwarranted) assumption that you might want to read Wilbur Smith's "Monsoon". Of course, you can't search Amazon by price - though you can filter the search results for, say, "Little Book" and list the top 450 in ascending order of price, as now linked from http://www.ntk.net/books/ (fantastically transparent attempt at chart-fixing there, Harry Harrison fans). Sure, the cut-off point should really be UKP2.25, but then you risk missing out on some really good stuff: imagine our disappointment at discovering that the "Little Books" of "Farting", "Complete Bollocks" and "Crap" appear to be a *totally different* franchise to the "Optimum Nutrition" one... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as THEY STO7E UR REVOLUTION ur lamE now were steaqling it baX0R!!!!!!!!11~~~~ http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/dialectp.cgi?dialect=hckr NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? 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