Need To Know 2002-09-06

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"It would seem highly likely that the launch of a physical attack on Iraq will see [online] counter-attacks from disgruntled Arab, Islamic fundamentalist and anti-American groups..." http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/2231205.stm - and, more worryingly, further pompous pronouncements from DK Matai >> HARD NEWS << nikto klaatus Brits, geeks and Britgeeks mixed freely at the WORLD SCI-FI CONVENTION this week, although not without a few scuffles. Definitive eurolefty CHINA MIEVILLE held his baby-bald head in his hands as fellow panellist ERIC "losing it" RAYMOND uttered portentous threats regarding socialism SLIGHTLY TOO CLOSE TO THE MICROPHONE, deafening LeGuinites and Heinleinians alike. Elsewhere on the techie tip, HARLAN ELLISON's lawyer duelled with the EFF's CORY DOCTOROW, and admitted that the anti-DMCA advocates had a case; the audience waited for his client to blank his cardioplate and kill him on the spot. Harlan, fortunately, was elsewhere, biting the heads off ebook crackers or something. Rumours of JAKOB NIELSEN persisted. He was rarely seen, unless he was that furry in the Punk Skunk costume. Perhaps we didn't scroll down far enough. Paging up to the sumptuous Hugo awards: Guest of honour VERNOR VINGE won a raft of 'em, a nudge from his readers to write a bit bloody faster before the Singularity hits. Mundanes SAM GAMGEE and SAURON briefly teamed up to collect their Hugo for "LOTR: TMP" then earnt some Hobbit-like stares for quoting Tolkien on American fandom ("my deplorable cultus"). Finally, a shocked NEIL GAIMAN stumbled onto stage to clutch at his Hugo for best novel, "American Gods". In a moving impromptu confession, he admitted that a Hugo was what he most wanted in the world - at age 13. Other teen wishes yet unfulfilled were the cute twins he sat opposite on the tube, and heat vision; pray he never attains them simultaneously. We'll leave the last words with him, as amplified across an audience of geeks of all ages: "Fuck. I got a Hugo." http://www.locusmag.com/2002/News/News09Log1.html - "Best Dressed Author" Hugo unclaimed yet again http://www.asimovs.com/_issue_0206/Lobsters.shtml - other Brits involved: Charlie Stross, Linux-wielding nerdcore writer... http://www.dcs.gla.ac.uk/SF-Archives/Ansible/ - Dave Langford and the newsletter this item closely resembles In other news, science fiction once again risked becoming science fact - that was until THE REGISTER stepped up to counter KEVIN WARWICK's plans to implant a device with all the functionality - and approximate dimensions? - of a mobile phone (and/or GPS receiver) into the arm of one lucky 11-year- old girl. Translation: expect a spectacularly scaled-down demo with a subcutaneous anti-shoplifting-style RFID tag in about a year's time. Just one small point for those Warwick supporters who've weighed in with the argument that "We use microchips to find lost pets, so why not missing children?". Chips in animals aren't tracking devices, they're used - because pets can't talk - to establish who their owners are once the animals have been found. Or for identifying their bodies. http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/54/26908.html - vs http://www.zeppotron.com/unnovations/paedo_go.html http://www.prweb.com/releases/2002/7/prweb42597.php - contact us, c/o The GATTACA Corporation http://www.putneysw15.com/exchange/Whats_on/PX_whats_on.html - Postman Pat pioneers slightly less invasive variants http://qwer.org/020906logica.html - "Government must slowly reveal the capabilities of the technology" >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious gradually reaching the end of the oddest GOOGLE MISSPELLINGS: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22sacred+stiff%22 , this week's colour-based search-and-replace artefact: "hundgreens", plus those ever-popular page errors: "error '80020009'" and http://www.google.com/search?q=%22socket+%27%2Ftmp%2Fmysql.sock%22 ... AMAZON propose slightly more "Hollywood-friendly" LOTR pitch: http://www.ntk.net/2002/09/06/dohgold.gif ... get your 2-year-old to "sing along" with Yates' incessant whining: http://www.ntk.net/2002/09/06/dohyates.gif ... over-honest price comparisons: http://www.ntk.net/2002/09/06/dohsave.gif ... what part of "Negative Results" don't you understand?: http://www.jnrbm.com/articles/browse.asp ... to save employee time, ICSTIS "urges Government bot to ignore consumers": http://www.icstis.org/icstis2002/default.asp?Node=61#39 ... Eastleigh Countryside Service's memorable slogan - "Bringing people and the countryside together (or similar catch all)": http://www.eastleigh.gov.uk/countryside/cntryproject.htm ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful Somewhat optimistically, coin-op carnival CALIFORNIA EXTREME (from Sat 2002-09-07, San Jose Convention Centre, around $20) promises "More excitement!" than last year when, as we recall, the laser MAME guys couldn't get into the USA because all the flights were grounded. BORDERS BOOKSHOP on London's Oxford Street meanwhile enters a somewhat different fantastical realm, with the author of the "Krondor" series RAYMOND E FEIST in conversation with up-and-coming Scottish parallel-universer MILLER LAU (6.30pm, Wed 2002-09-09, free). The store then looks to the lighter side of September 11th when fantasy spoofer ROBERT RANKIN marks the anniversary by signing copies of his "fantastic new book", "The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse" (6.30pm, Wed 2002-09-11, also free). http://www.caextreme.org/ - get in for nothing if you bring your own "Discs Of Tron" http://www.borders.co.uk/Eve/OxfS/CH.htm - Mon event hosted by star of XCom2002, Pat Cadigan >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering We stand on the shoulders of giants, that we may grasp further than their reach. The HARRIXOS operating system was an inspiration to developers everywhere when we pre-announced it in November 1999. But near-perfection can still be trumped, and the torch of OS trailblazer now looks to pass to a younger contender. NUCOS, a HarrixOS-like operating system, is a kernel, shell and I/O system currently building for Wintel machines. Its primary academic advantage over the equally original HarrixOS, as the researchers at www.memepool.com note, is downloadable code. Originally written as a substrate above the QBasic environment of Windows, attention is now being paid to refactoring the NucOS kernel to allow cross-platform porting: Jordan, principal architect, is still having some problem converting the idiosyncratic IF...THEN construct across to Perl. This week, that showstopper was addressed: expect a Cambrian explosion of NucOS framework extensions to follow. It is available at Sourceforge, home of many equally promising projects. http://nucos.sf.net/ - abstract of project goals http://nucos.sourceforge.net/nucos_kiwi.pl - full Perl source (licensed under the MPL) http://web.archive.org/web/20011004011213/http://www.harrixos.co.uk/about.htm - perhaps a little competition will encourage both teams? http://www.ntk.net/1999/11/26/#TRACKING - a portal to the future >> MEMEPOOL << ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ somehow doesn't sound quite like "HOTMAIL Member Services" to us: http://www.ntk.net/2002/09/06/dohfake.gif ... one year on, proposed high-rise defence systems range from "Sound waves" "to repel flying objects" ("Safety" at http://www.wtc2002.com/ - needs Flash, sorry) to a top-floor religious centre "dedicated to unity amongst the people and religions of the world": http://www.londonbridgetower.com/benefits_tourism.html ... brings considerable experience of what bad guys look like: www.corporate-ir.net/ireye/ir_site.zhtml?ticker=VISG&script=410&item_id=330130 ... ARIEL SHARON checks out Hollywood, Fl retirement homes: http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-sshouse30aug30.story ... seemed like a good idea: http://www.parisbeckham.com/ ... these "review anything" sites are threatening to get out of hand: http://www.mouthshut.com/readreview.php?rid=25925&r=1 , www.dooyoo.co.uk/internet/internet_sites/the_dooyoo_redesign/_review/389786/ ... ah, but http://www.drunkgamers.com/switch0001.shtml could play Java games: http://www.urban75.org/useless/glider.html ... "couldn't-make-this-up" dept - the "Jenga" WTC memorial: http://www.ascensioncatholic-cleveland.org/911%20Memorial.htm ... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> Trudie "Mrs Sting" Styler gets namechecked in the latest of Harry Enfield's meticulously crafted "Kevin the teenager"- style characterisations, CELEB (9pm, Fri, BBC1), while simultaneously appearing in FRIENDS (9pm, Fri, C4)... Arnie actioner ERASER (9.30pm, Fri, ITV) famously features a railgun whose muzzle velocity "approaching the speed of light" would propel the shooter several miles into the air... and comedy showbiz magazine BO' SELECTA (10.30pm, Fri, C4) is presented by E4's Avid Merrion, aka unknown comedian Leigh Francis... Jennifer Connelly gets molested by Timothy Dalton in THE ROCKETEER (6pm, Sat, C5)... RUSH HOUR (8.15pm, Sat, BBC1) gets its second showing since Christmas... and Arnie returns in nuclear family nonsense TRUE LIES (10.20pm, Sat, ITV) - contrast with gripping real-life Harrier action in the last of these repeats of DECISIVE WEAPONS (8.30pm, Mon, BBC2)... "Not Another Teen Movie" inspiration SHE'S ALL THAT (9.20pm, Sat, C4) nonetheless has quite a good dance scene... apparently there's some sort of lesbian subtext to Gina Gershon gangster thriller BOUND (12.30am, Sat, C4)... while a young Sarah Jessica Parker pops up in relativistic kiddie sci-fi FLIGHT OF THE NAVIGATOR (1pm, Sun, BBC1)... three very different views of the challenges facing modern teenagers are provided by Oxford fly-on-the-wall COLLEGE GIRLS (9pm, Sun, C4), rip- roaring "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers" clone THE FACULTY (10pm, Sun, C4), and Lara Flynn Boyle bonkathon THREESOME (10pm, Mon, C4)... STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE (7.30pm, Tue, ITV) is presumably scheduled to help viewers get more of the jokes in SPACEBALLS (11.30pm, Tue, ITV)... though try not to miss the good bit at the beginning of SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (9pm, Tue, C5)... then there's plenty of archive September 11th tragi-tainment for your Public Enemy "911 Is A Joke" remix on Wed, surreally interspersed with the likes of LIZ HURLEY'S BRAINS (9pm, Wed, C4), SEVEN DAYS THAT SHOOK THE SPICE GIRLS (9pm, Tue, C4), and three films by designer posers Tomato in SHOOTING GALLERY (from 1am, Thu, C4)... FILM>> Bill "Aliens" Paxton directs himself in the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"-esque religious maniac domestic horror FRAILTY ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2002/frailty.html : An older boy mentions he'd do anything to see the "t*ts" of the Daisy Duke character on the old TV show "The Dukes of Hazzard"; it's possible some impressionable kids/teens could get the idea to kill in the name of religion)... Doug "Swingers" Liman directs Matt Damon and Franka "Run Lola Run" Potente in "Memento"-lite amnesia thriller THE BOURNE IDENTITY ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/bourneidentity.htm : drinking to soothe nerves; armed military maneuvers to capture; gaping face kissing while in underwear stripping, then panning away to clearly imply intercourse)... the identity confusion continues in bizarrely semi-modernised Brit-made Wilde adaptation THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/import-earnest.htm : suggestion to commit adultery; a flash scene of a female rear getting a tattoo)... and, following Feltz's appearance on "Shooting Stars", it's Vanessa Feltz, Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer - together again! - in the last of Shane Meadows' "Nottingham" trilogy, ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE MIDLANDS ( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : Contains strong language)... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "an online novella [...] about an anti-globalisation campaigner who abandons direct action in favour of protesting via the internet" http://www.independent.co.uk/story.jsp?story=329314 NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntkmart.com/ (K) 2002 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. 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