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        "Still, the rest did me good, I learnt all about the Movie
         Industry and got to see things from a consumer's viewpoint
         again. Then I noticed something. The games world had got
         boring. Really boring without me..."
                                      ...and relatively bandanna-free
            - "Games Animal" DAVE PERRY modestly announces his return
http://community.channel4.com/6/ubb.x?a=tpc&f=7986032211&m=9216033741


                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                              photocopying fumes

         DAVID DOCHERTY, MD for Broadband Content for the telco
         Telewest, is more than just the thoughtful man in the polo
         neck that his Guardian column depicts. He writes thrillers
         too. His latest novel, Killing Jar, has just come out, and
         someone's clearly been thinking hard about ways to publicise
         it. On the 28th of October, messages pointing to a site called
         mcleaninternationalmining.com began popping up all over the
         newsgroups. Now, as frustrated Usenetter Adam Aglionby spotted
         using the simple sword of Google and the trusty shield of
         whois, McClean Mining only exists in Docherty's book. The fake
         company's fake domain was registered from a Bristol address
         and all the postings were sent from Blue Yonder, Telewest's
         own ISP. According to Adam, Docherty mailed him saying the
         posts are "not intended to be spam. It's meant to be a drama".
         Or could they perhaps be broadband's long-awaited killer app?
         Sending thousands of Usenet posts via Telewest's broadband
         accounts, sneakily advertising a commercial product? And if
         so, can we expect Blue Yonder to update its AUP accordingly?
 http://groups.google.com/groups?q=www.mcleaninternationalmining.com/
              - if you read comp.mail.sendmail, you may also enjoy...
         http://makeashorterlink.com/?C1A045052
                                           - ...Adam's detective work
http://media.guardian.co.uk/mediaguardian/story/0,7558,792676,00.html
 - the "transformation of the Net into a quality distribution medium"
         http://shared.blueyonder.co.uk/acceptable_use_policy.html
            - or the transformation of publicists with the cluestick?

         "But there isn't any rule against copying stuff off a website,
         is there?" Not at THE DAILY MAIL there doesn't seem to be,
         where staff have continued their enthusiastic pillaging of
         online content with substantial yet uncredited lifts from -
         this time - retro telly site TV CREAM. Regular readers will
         recall The Mail's similar forgetfulness in attributing the
         sources of material they "borrowed" from high-tech bitchfests
         "Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About" and THE
         REGISTER, the difference being that TV Cream have spent all
         the money they were saving for proper legal representation on
         extremely rare Clangers videos. The upshot of this is: they'd
         genuinely like to hear from any NTK readers who'd like to have
         a go at being their lawyer, on some sort of "no win, no fee"
         basis - email the usual tips@spesh.com if you're interested,
         using the cryptic subject line: "Declan Swann - You've Been
         Gone Too Long".
         http://www.guardian.co.uk/diary/story/0,3604,822207,00.html
                         - "and here's one someone else made earlier"
         http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/archive/16979.html
           - of course all copyright is evil, but while it's there...


                                >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         because you demanded it - all-new PUERILE GOOGLE MISSPELLINGS:
         http://www.google.com/search?q=%22proven+mythology%22 , and
         "heavy duty wench". This week's cliche: things which didn't
         http://www.google.com/search?q=%22arise+out+of+a+vacuum%22 -
         or the somewhat more poetic "The internet is like"... more old
         favourites - BBC sceptical about speed, efficiency of 3G:
         http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/2367829.stm ; looking forward to their
         upcoming illustration "White Cat Lost in Blizzard on Moors":
         http://www.bbc.co.uk/oxford/news/2002/10/electricity.shtml ; the 
         Broadbandy Landings: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/2350963.stm
         ... "Buy A.A. Gill Is Away with A.A. Gill Is Away today!":
         http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0753816814/ ... who'd
         win a fight between: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/2367313.stm and
         INFLATABLE BURGER: http://www.ntk.net/2002/11/01/dohburger.gif
         ... http://www.oxford-union.org/usage/usage_200210.html - spot
         the slashdotting... good to see the IT sector picking up again:
         http://www.vrl.co.uk/list.html ...


                               >> EVENT QUEUE <<
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         And where are they now, the hip young gunslingers of THE
         INDUSTRY STANDARD EUROPE? Georgia Cameron-Clarke, off in New
         York somewhere, Mike "Butch" Butcher, "reworking" his mbites
         newsletter, James Ledbetter writing a tell-all chronicle of
         where it all went wrong, entitled "Starving To Death On $200
         Million A Year". But the one we're keeping an eye on is former
         London Correspondent Polly Sprenger, who's exchanged "routers"
         (made by Cisco) for "routers" (made by Black and Decker), and
         who'll be auctioning the creations of her fellow female
         woodworkers from 6:30-9:30pm, Thu 2002-11-07, The Carpenters'
         Hall, London EC1, tickets UKP10 in advance, UKP15 on the day.
         Say what you like, but at least she's gone out and learned a
         real skill - as has former Mondo 2000 contributor (and current
         Vice-Chairman of the EFF) JOHN PERRY BARLOW, who'll be wowing
         the crowds at the ICA, from 7.30pm, Wed 2002-11-06, UKP10, as
         part of their almost Klingon-esque WHATDOYOUWANTTODOWITHIT?
         "digital festival".
         http://www.ica.org.uk/index.cfm?articleid=9621
       - and when do you want to do what you want to do with it? Now!
         http://www.fifty.cc/womeninbuilding/
                                         - "often as a second career"
         http://gllug.linux.co.uk/20021102.html
                    - on Sat: gathering of the local Linuxmen's guild
         http://www.robots.ox.ac.uk/~aisoc/events.html
             - in Oxford on Monday: Kevin Warwick once again at large


                                >> MEMEPOOL <<
                ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/

         CORPORATE ANTHEMS re-relaunched by ZDNet - but for how long?:
         http://techupdate.zdnet.co.uk/story/0,,t481-s2122414,00.html
         ... "people might consider a double cheeseburger and milkshake
         to be the same [...] as a milkshake and double cheeseburger":
www.asa.org.uk/adjudications/show_adjudication.asp?adjudication_id=34845
         ... "be" Geordi LaForge: http://www.cab.ca/ ... "Sometimes
         Credited As: Ima Cunt": http://us.imdb.com/Name?Anonymous ...
         http://www.barclaycard.co.uk/ has firm grasp of international
         sign-language gesture for "wanker"... one reason to Google
         before naming your company: http://www.roman-showers.com/ - vs
         http://www.odd-sex.com/info/gloss661.htm ... EASYGROUP:
         http://www.easygroup.co.uk/NewIdeas/condtitions.html believes
         "in the free flow of ideas" - vs "no use should be made of the
         'easy' name (or anything similar to it) without our consent":
         http://www.easygroup.co.uk/NewIdeas/ideas.html ... oh, we'll
         give them a link just for laying off the "Dave Green" trolls:
         http://www.antics.org.uk/memes.htm ...


                                >> GEEK MEDIA <<
                                  get out less

         TV>> they've fast-cut it to keep it interesting, but THE
         OSBOURNES (9.30pm, Fri, C4) could still possibly be improved
         if it was about a family of "portable" CP/M machines instead:
         http://www.davemathews.com/osborne.html ... the dangers of
         mod-chipping your kids are explored in SOUTH PARK: THE MOVIE
         (10.30pm, Fri, C4)... and Sigourney Weaver battles a psycho
         sending her enormous email attachments in COPYCAT (11.05pm,
         Sat, BBC1)... "Gay Nazi" week kicks off with a homosexual
         infiltration of the National Front in TRUE SPIES (9pm, Sun,
         BBC2), the curiously titled YOUNG, NAZI AND PROUD (9pm, Mon,
         C4) and the obligatory REVEALED: WAS HITLER GAY? (9pm, Tue,
         C5)... it still takes nearly 3 hours to get through even the
         non-director's cut of Jim Cameron's THE ABYSS (9pm, Mon,
         C5)... and Julie Burchill exploits her passing resemblance to
         a squeaky-voiced Dana Scully in WHAT KILLED MY DAD? (9pm, Mon,
         BBC4)... the good news is, of course, that those bloody Ewoks
         would never have survived the destruction of Death Star II in
         STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI (8pm, Tue, ITV):
         http://www.theforce.net/swtc/holocaust.html ... each week,
         Jamie Oliver kills and eats the least proficient would-be chef
         who dares to chance their luck in JAMIE'S KITCHEN (9pm, Tue,
         C4)... Louis Theroux stops asking annoying questions and just
         films the bizarre behaviour of Tony Blackburn, Leo Sayer and
         Bernard Manning, aka THE ENTERTAINERS (10pm, Tue & Thu, BBC2)
         ... and it's http://www.mcsweeneys.net/ collaborator Arthur
         Bradford behind special-needs vox-pop one-off HOW'S YOUR NEWS?
         (11.40pm, Tue, C4) - an improvement on "Have I Got News For
         You?" any day...

         FILM>> "Resident Evil" meets the BBC's 1981 "Day Of The
         Triffids" in Danny Boyle's brutal largely-shot-on-video post-
         apocalypse zombie-fest 28 DAYS LATER ( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ :
         Contains very strong language, strong violence and horror),
         starring Naomie "Tomorrow People" Harris... Ben Affleck and
         Samuel L Jackson remake "Planes, Trains And Automobiles", but
         with less emphasis on the laughs, in urban revenger CHANGING
         LANES ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/changinglanes.htm :
         adolescent disrespect; adult tantrum with property damage;
         portrayal that a few good deeds offset intentional
         wrongdoings, ease the conscience of the wrongdoer)... the
         Halloween horrors continue with WES CRAVEN PRESENTS: THEY
         ( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : Contains frequent strong threat and
         menace) - and surely it should be "Them", or "Those"?... as
         Adam Sandler plays his usual man-idiot in Capra bastardisation
         MR DEEDS ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2002/mr_deeds.html :
         [Winona Ryder] wears a shirt that looks somewhat transparent -
         and we can somewhat see the shape of her breasts and nipples
         beneath it in her bra)...


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
                       Registered at the Post Office as
           "when someone asks you if you're a God... you say YES!"
           http://www.googlism.com/index.htm?ism=dave+green&type=1


                                 NEED TO KNOW
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