_ _ _____ _ __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the uk>
| \ | |_ _| |/ / _ __ __2002-11-01_ o join! mail an empty message to
| \| | | | | ' / | '_ \ / _ \ \ /\ / / o email@example.com
| |\ | | | | . \ | | | | (_) \ v v / o website (+ archive) lives at:
|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\|_| |_|\___/ \_/\_/ o http://www.ntk.net/ "Still, the rest did me good, I learnt all about the Movie
Industry and got to see things from a consumer's viewpoint
again. Then I noticed something. The games world had got
boring. Really boring without me..."
...and relatively bandanna-free
- "Games Animal" DAVE PERRY modestly announces his return
http://community.channel4.com/6/ubb.x?a=tpc&f=7986032211&m=9216033741 >> HARD NEWS <<
DAVID DOCHERTY, MD for Broadband Content for the telco
Telewest, is more than just the thoughtful man in the polo
neck that his Guardian column depicts. He writes thrillers
too. His latest novel, Killing Jar, has just come out, and
someone's clearly been thinking hard about ways to publicise
it. On the 28th of October, messages pointing to a site called
mcleaninternationalmining.com began popping up all over the
newsgroups. Now, as frustrated Usenetter Adam Aglionby spotted
using the simple sword of Google and the trusty shield of
whois, McClean Mining only exists in Docherty's book. The fake
company's fake domain was registered from a Bristol address
and all the postings were sent from Blue Yonder, Telewest's
own ISP. According to Adam, Docherty mailed him saying the
posts are "not intended to be spam. It's meant to be a drama".
Or could they perhaps be broadband's long-awaited killer app?
Sending thousands of Usenet posts via Telewest's broadband
accounts, sneakily advertising a commercial product? And if
so, can we expect Blue Yonder to update its AUP accordingly?
- if you read comp.mail.sendmail, you may also enjoy...
- ...Adam's detective work
- the "transformation of the Net into a quality distribution medium"
- or the transformation of publicists with the cluestick?
"But there isn't any rule against copying stuff off a website,
is there?" Not at THE DAILY MAIL there doesn't seem to be,
where staff have continued their enthusiastic pillaging of
online content with substantial yet uncredited lifts from -
this time - retro telly site TV CREAM. Regular readers will
recall The Mail's similar forgetfulness in attributing the
sources of material they "borrowed" from high-tech bitchfests
"Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About" and THE
REGISTER, the difference being that TV Cream have spent all
the money they were saving for proper legal representation on
extremely rare Clangers videos. The upshot of this is: they'd
genuinely like to hear from any NTK readers who'd like to have
a go at being their lawyer, on some sort of "no win, no fee"
basis - email the usual firstname.lastname@example.org if you're interested,
using the cryptic subject line: "Declan Swann - You've Been
Gone Too Long".
- "and here's one someone else made earlier"
- of course all copyright is evil, but while it's there...
>> ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
because you demanded it - all-new PUERILE GOOGLE MISSPELLINGS:
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22proven+mythology%22 , and
"heavy duty wench". This week's cliche: things which didn't
or the somewhat more poetic "The internet is like"... more old
favourites - BBC sceptical about speed, efficiency of 3G:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/2367829.stm ; looking forward to their
upcoming illustration "White Cat Lost in Blizzard on Moors":
http://www.bbc.co.uk/oxford/news/2002/10/electricity.shtml ; the
Broadbandy Landings: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/2350963.stm
... "Buy A.A. Gill Is Away with A.A. Gill Is Away today!":
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0753816814/ ... who'd
win a fight between: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/2367313.stm and
INFLATABLE BURGER: http://www.ntk.net/2002/11/01/dohburger.gif
... http://www.oxford-union.org/usage/usage_200210.html - spot
the slashdotting... good to see the IT sector picking up again:
>> EVENT QUEUE <<
goto's considered non-harmful
And where are they now, the hip young gunslingers of THE
INDUSTRY STANDARD EUROPE? Georgia Cameron-Clarke, off in New
York somewhere, Mike "Butch" Butcher, "reworking" his mbites
newsletter, James Ledbetter writing a tell-all chronicle of
where it all went wrong, entitled "Starving To Death On $200
Million A Year". But the one we're keeping an eye on is former
London Correspondent Polly Sprenger, who's exchanged "routers"
(made by Cisco) for "routers" (made by Black and Decker), and
who'll be auctioning the creations of her fellow female
woodworkers from 6:30-9:30pm, Thu 2002-11-07, The Carpenters'
Hall, London EC1, tickets UKP10 in advance, UKP15 on the day.
Say what you like, but at least she's gone out and learned a
real skill - as has former Mondo 2000 contributor (and current
Vice-Chairman of the EFF) JOHN PERRY BARLOW, who'll be wowing
the crowds at the ICA, from 7.30pm, Wed 2002-11-06, UKP10, as
part of their almost Klingon-esque WHATDOYOUWANTTODOWITHIT?
- and when do you want to do what you want to do with it? Now!
- "often as a second career"
- on Sat: gathering of the local Linuxmen's guild
- in Oxford on Monday: Kevin Warwick once again at large
>> MEMEPOOL <<
ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ CORPORATE ANTHEMS re-relaunched by ZDNet - but for how long?:
... "people might consider a double cheeseburger and milkshake
to be the same [...] as a milkshake and double cheeseburger":
... "be" Geordi LaForge: http://www.cab.ca/ ... "Sometimes
Credited As: Ima Cunt": http://us.imdb.com/Name?Anonymous ...
http://www.barclaycard.co.uk/ has firm grasp of international
sign-language gesture for "wanker"... one reason to Google
before naming your company: http://www.roman-showers.com/ - vs
http://www.odd-sex.com/info/gloss661.htm ... EASYGROUP:
"in the free flow of ideas" - vs "no use should be made of the
'easy' name (or anything similar to it) without our consent":
http://www.easygroup.co.uk/NewIdeas/ideas.html ... oh, we'll
give them a link just for laying off the "Dave Green" trolls:
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
get out less
TV>> they've fast-cut it to keep it interesting, but THE
OSBOURNES (9.30pm, Fri, C4) could still possibly be improved
if it was about a family of "portable" CP/M machines instead:
http://www.davemathews.com/osborne.html ... the dangers of
mod-chipping your kids are explored in SOUTH PARK: THE MOVIE
(10.30pm, Fri, C4)... and Sigourney Weaver battles a psycho
sending her enormous email attachments in COPYCAT (11.05pm,
Sat, BBC1)... "Gay Nazi" week kicks off with a homosexual
infiltration of the National Front in TRUE SPIES (9pm, Sun,
BBC2), the curiously titled YOUNG, NAZI AND PROUD (9pm, Mon,
C4) and the obligatory REVEALED: WAS HITLER GAY? (9pm, Tue,
C5)... it still takes nearly 3 hours to get through even the
non-director's cut of Jim Cameron's THE ABYSS (9pm, Mon,
C5)... and Julie Burchill exploits her passing resemblance to
a squeaky-voiced Dana Scully in WHAT KILLED MY DAD? (9pm, Mon,
BBC4)... the good news is, of course, that those bloody Ewoks
would never have survived the destruction of Death Star II in
STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI (8pm, Tue, ITV):
http://www.theforce.net/swtc/holocaust.html ... each week,
Jamie Oliver kills and eats the least proficient would-be chef
who dares to chance their luck in JAMIE'S KITCHEN (9pm, Tue,
C4)... Louis Theroux stops asking annoying questions and just
films the bizarre behaviour of Tony Blackburn, Leo Sayer and
Bernard Manning, aka THE ENTERTAINERS (10pm, Tue & Thu, BBC2)
... and it's http://www.mcsweeneys.net/ collaborator Arthur
Bradford behind special-needs vox-pop one-off HOW'S YOUR NEWS?
(11.40pm, Tue, C4) - an improvement on "Have I Got News For
You?" any day...
FILM>> "Resident Evil" meets the BBC's 1981 "Day Of The
Triffids" in Danny Boyle's brutal largely-shot-on-video post-
apocalypse zombie-fest 28 DAYS LATER ( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ :
Contains very strong language, strong violence and horror),
starring Naomie "Tomorrow People" Harris... Ben Affleck and
Samuel L Jackson remake "Planes, Trains And Automobiles", but
with less emphasis on the laughs, in urban revenger CHANGING
LANES ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/changinglanes.htm :
adolescent disrespect; adult tantrum with property damage;
portrayal that a few good deeds offset intentional
wrongdoings, ease the conscience of the wrongdoer)... the
Halloween horrors continue with WES CRAVEN PRESENTS: THEY
( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : Contains frequent strong threat and
menace) - and surely it should be "Them", or "Those"?... as
Adam Sandler plays his usual man-idiot in Capra bastardisation
MR DEEDS ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2002/mr_deeds.html :
[Winona Ryder] wears a shirt that looks somewhat transparent -
and we can somewhat see the shape of her breasts and nipples
beneath it in her bra)...
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
Registered at the Post Office as
"when someone asks you if you're a God... you say YES!"
NEED TO KNOW
THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
Archive - http://www.ntk.net/
Unsubscribe? Mail email@example.com
Subscribe? Mail firstname.lastname@example.org
NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntkmart.com/
(K) 2002 Special Projects.
Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/
Tips, news and gossip to email@example.com
All communication is for publication, unless you beg.
Press releases from naive PR people to firstname.lastname@example.org
Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material.
Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention.
Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.