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        "His larger fear is that the best job of his life - writing 
         for The Spot - is behind him, and his career will be a string 
         of boring jobs..."
                         - ZDNET fondly remembers the "good old days"
                           http://zdnet.com.com/2100-1106-832615.html
                      ...and they say there's no justice in the world


                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                                 LL's not cool

         After months deliberating exactly how much illegal content a
         newsgroup should have before it's banned [NTK 2000-11-17],
         the INTERNET WATCH FOUNDATION has, suddenly, taken a brand
         new tack. At a board meeting this week, chair Roger
         Darlington cut through the waffle, and proposed that any
         newsgroup whose very name *sounded* illicit should be
         removed. He refused any debate on this policy, pressed for a
         vote, and won.

         And so, to celebrate the IWF's fifth birthday, an unknown
         set of newsgroups, whose crime is not to harbour illicit
         content but merely give the impression they *might*, are
         dissappearing from British spools. A little ironic birthday
         present for the IWF, an organisation that was founded to
         stop a similiar blanket blacklisting by the Metropolitan
         police back in 1997. As if by magic, IWF's board members are
         disappearing too. Malcolm Hutty, of the Campaign against
         Censorship of the Internet in Britain, quit in protest at
         the meeting. He joins Demon's representative, Clive Feather,
         who resigned in December saying - like Hutty - that he felt
         that proper scrutiny was being perceived as unhelpful by the
         organisation. Ruth Dixon, the deputy Chief Executive and one
         of the original founders, handed her notice this week too.

         Left on board are the new IWF: a bloc of child protection
         experts (including John Carr, no stranger to NTK readers),
         Peter Robbins - a new CEO who is an ex-Met ex-obscene
         publications squad copper himself - and a very nervous set
         of ISP representatives, facing a coup in their own industry
         body. The new IWF, in a rather pointed press release, says
         it's seeking to increase its powers, and will be
         "repositioning" as "a body which protects children as well
         as ISPs". But what did the old IWF do? Its hotline uncovered
         thousands of illegal images, and gave the police a valuable
         data trail to track their origins - unlike the new system,
         whose bans risk simply hiding the traffic elsewhere. And
         when the transformation is complete and the newly censorious
         IWF considers banning all newsgroups containing the word
         "anime" - as one sub-committee proposal suggested, before
         Hutty squelched it - who will be around to say no? Who
         watches the Watch Foundation these days?
         http://www.iwf.org.uk/about/members.htm
                                                     - bulletin board
         http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02000-06-23&l=50#l - 
                                             - John Carr in full flow
         http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02000-11-17&l=22#l
                                        - the old IWF takes it slowly
         http://www.liberty.org.uk/cacib/iwfresignation.htm 
                                      - that resignation note in full
         http://www.theinquirer.net/15020203.htm
                                              - the even longer story

         So what *would* a Usenet tyranny run by distant overlords
         who disdainfully smack down their vassal slaves be like,
         exactly? Well, look no further than uk.people.gothic. Let's
         start again. Such behaviour *is* perfectly acceptable in
         u.p.g if performed in moderation in a well-kept village
         graveyard, but one recent case has proved to be controversially
         non-consensual. Worse, it involves the dreaded intercession
         of [thunderclap on soundtrack] the UK.* USENET COMMITTEE.
         Seems some yukster noticed that the goths are lacking a
         committee-approved newsgroup charter, set about organising a
         vote to install one, as required by uk.* Usenet committee
         rules. Unfortunately, since uk.people.gothic precedes the
         creation of the omnipotent committee by some years,
         negotiating whose rules have primacy in the gothosphere
         means... well, as usual on Usenet, a massive flamewar. You
         might want to check this one out, given that it involves
         committee matters of procedure, the genteel senior citizens 
         of u.p.g. attacking the "young rebellious upstart 
         newcommers" of the committee, legalistic time-travel, Goth
         Rights, and the everpresent unspoken threat of Control, the
         uk.* Usenet committee's splendid seven foot high robot
         master. It also shows what Usenet governance is *supposed*
         to look like. Anarchic, pedantic, transparent and -
         ultimately, despite the worries - more consensual than you'd
         guess. Or, possibly, can stand.
http://groups.google.com/groups?threadm=3c693418.756897644%40news.demon.co.uk
                                   - the trusty slippers of fair play

         We do have a government-mandated weekly limit on headachey 
         civil liberty stories, so we're going to bounce our eagerly 
         awaited analysis of the EUCD, Europe's DMCA, until next week. 
         But don't forget - there's an informal seminar on the EUCD's 
         legal implications and vulnerabilities, organised by those 
         Campaign for Digital Rights troublemakers, taking place next 
         Saturday afternoon 2001-02-23 in Cambridge (to be followed by 
         a national tour - well, London and Edinburgh, at least). Open 
         source enthusiasts, music fans, and anyone with an interest in 
         opposing EU legal directives will be more than welcome - 
         although, due to the "white hat" nature of the proceedings, 
         delegates are politely reminded that they should not swap 
         warez and VCDs - or indeed mod-chip any PlayStations - while 
         attending the (currently undisclosed) venue. 
         http://uk.eurorights.org/miniconf/
              - please RSVP in advance, specifying favourite real ale
         http://www.actionaid.org/ourpriorities/foodrights/foodrights.shtml
                                  - chipping: the clampdown continues


                                >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         EDS' gardening skills to give Jaguar team "competitive hedge": 
         http://www.itv-f1.com/news/news_story/9144 ... just the sort 
         of free-spirited education the NEW STATESMAN is looking for: 
     http://www.consider.net/nominate2002.php3?Action=Specific&URN=http://
         ... top of the Enterprise-wide Risk Management "case studies": 
         http://www.business-minds.com/detail.asp?item=100000000012954 
         ... BBC reveals hitherto-unsuspected Republican sympathies: 
         http://www.ntk.net/2002/02/15/dohlife.png ... GUARDIAN goes 
         all pro-war: http://www.ntk.net/2002/02/15/dohgo.png ... don't 
         forget all those DOS users: http://news.bbc.co.uk/tmp.txt ... 
         http://www.totalise.net/ small print forbids "downloading and 
         printing out any web pages"; http://www.sitescope.co.uk/ 
         generously permits you to "make one electronically stored, 
         transient copy of the Content solely for the purpose of 
         viewing it"... The Case Of The *Double* Missing Millions: 
         http://www.ntk.net/2002/02/15/dohpound.png ... taste my 
         breadcrumbs!: http://www.ntk.net/2002/02/15/dohbread.png ...  
         what part of "Must have previous experience" don't you 
         understand?: http://www.apexcr.com/en/1/advertdisplay.mxs?3304 
         ... cracks appear in glorious old VICTORIA AND ALBERT MUSEUM 
         facade: http://www2.vam.ac.uk/ ... inappropriate google ad: 
         http://www.google.com/search?q=controlled+flight+into+terrain 
         ... glossing over recent cutbacks, BA place leading questions
         in market research: http://www.ntk.net/2002/02/15/dohba.png ... 


                               >> EVENT QUEUE <<
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         You've got to credit an event whose two principal panels are
         called "Money: Do We Need It?" and "Legality: Could We Be In
         Trouble?", but still charges $65 and holds itself in that
         monument to draconian club licensing regulations, JWZ's DNA
         Lounge, San Francisco. CODECON 2002 - it's a long weekend of
         P2P cypherpunkitude, working code, heady brainstorming, and
         all the best bits of the subsequent RSA conference, without
         that tedious marketing crap.  It won't get you a job, but
         nothing will these days - so you might as well go back to
         changing the world.
         http://www.codecon.org/ 
         - social value redeemable only in anonymised pseudo-currency
         http://www.rsaconference.com/
         - opening new windows like a goddamn X10 surveillance STATE!
         http://www.dnalounge.com/backstage/log/2001/12-real.html
                                       - home of the real-life doh...


                                >> TRACKING <<
               sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering

         Okay, so we don't think shaped Microsoft windows are quite
         as unique as the author thinks they are and the 50,000 lines  
         of C++ sounds like a fib, but the remapping of the mouse
         pointer, blitting of the HTML rendered pages, and highlight
         shading are nice hacks, it doesn't install any adware AFAWCS,
         and you completely forgot about Valentine's didn't you, you
         idiot? Didn't you? Well, thank goodness there are young men
         in Bagshot writing mini heart-shaped browsers you can
         pretend you wrote for your beloved.
         http://www.banana3.com/
              - god i hope this isn't a demo-scene virus or something


                                >> MEMEPOOL <<
                ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/

         World Trade Center movie about "two fractured people who found 
         each other late in life and enjoyed a storybook romance": 
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/entertainment/film/newsid_1818000/1818049.stm
         vs "they kick and scream and fly through the air in an 
         unbelievably cool way": http://www.tachyon-tv.co.uk/news.htm 
         ... http://brunching.com/toys/oralsexdonation.html imitates 
         http://www.mccullagh.org/image/9/blowjobs-for-the-needy.html 
         ... seller "not responsible" for any loss of "immortal souls": 
         http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1702576447
         ... or are biologists just more susceptible to urban legends?: 
     http://www.sciencenet.org.uk/database/Chemistry/Original/c00082d.html 
         vs http://www.sciencenet.org.uk/database/Biology/9701/b00701d.html 
         ... FAO Patrick O'Brian fans - before you get press-ganged: 
         http://www.tallshipnewswire.com/jscript/article.php3?id=758 
         ... http://www.lindkvist.com/digitaldataporn/xxx.html vs new 
         IMAC discovering what CD-ROM tray is for (left-hand pic): 
         http://www.apple.com/hardware/ads/newimac.html ... Macs just 
         big "Game Boys": http://www.4bitterguys.com/rants/officegba/ 
         ... deriving general evolutionary principles from failed past 
         relationships: http://magnus.huckvale.net/2002/valentines/ ... 
         dividing the cast lists of every movie you see into "the 
         sexiest, the knight, and the one I'd most likely end up with": 
         http://www.livejournal.com/users/cassieclaire/ ... 


                                >> GEEK MEDIA <<
             commemorating the "return" of http://www.tvgohome.com/ 

         TV>> FRASIER (10pm, Fri, C4) swaps "emotional" for "technical" 
         support when Bill Gates guests on the 200th episode... without 
         warning, Zoe Ball returns to our screens in "Friendsreunited 
         Like These" gameshow CLASS OF (9pm, Sat, BBC2), plus regularly 
         bland industry-backslapping event THE BRIT AWARDS (8pm, Thu, 
         ITV) - Dido currently front-runner for Poshest Female Singer 
         With Self-Effacing Regular Diary: http://www.dotcock.com/ ... 
         small-town puritan oppression proves no match for Kevin Bacon 
         "kicking off his Sunday shoes" in FOOTLOOSE (9.45pm, Sat, 
         BBC2) ... comedy fans are ill-served by sub-"Airplane"-style 
         spoof JANE AUSTEN'S MAFIA (11.25pm, Sat, BBC1) and recently 
         remade French time-travel slapstick LES VISITEURS (12.45am, 
         Sat, C4) ... and chances are it'll be the canned-laughter US 
         episodes of M*A*S*H (7pm, daily from Sun, Paramount Comedy 
         Channel) rather than the laughtrack-free ones the BBC used to 
         show... coinciding with the fictitious Fresh Prince's Olympic 
         disappearance from the schedules, BBC2 compensates with a UK-
         set THE REAL FRESH PRINCE (8pm, Sun, BBC2) - "I got in one 
         little fight and my mom got scared/ she said 'You're movin' 
         with your uncle and auntie in Hertfordshire'"... which handily 
         coincides with BEHIND ENEMY LINES: THE REAL CHARLOTTE GRAYS 
         (8pm, Sun, C4)... and, later in the week, The Real "Law And 
         Order: Special Victims Unit" - SEX CRIME INVESTIGATORS (9pm, 
         Thu, C4)... Michelle "Dawson's Creek" Williams blunders into 
         semi-unironic teen horror HALLOWEEN H20: 20 YEARS LATER (10pm, 
         Sun, C4)... SHOOTING STARS (9.30pm, Mon, BBC2) doesn't seem 
         quite as fresh as it first did all those years ago, and ditto 
         for dullsville El Mariachi remake DESPERADO (10pm, Mon, C4)... 
         though fans of the originals will still enjoy scathingly 
         accurate Wayans-brother ghetto-movie parody DON'T BE A MENACE 
         TO SOUTH CENTRAL WHILE DRINKING YOUR JUICE IN THE HOOD 
         (12midnight, Mon, C4)... in the absence of those elusive 
         remaining episodes of "Attachments", MANCHILD (10pm, Tue, 
         BBC2) is like "Sex And The City", but with unattractive 
         middle-aged men instead of women... while YOUR NHS DAY (from 
         6am, Wed, BBC1) features novel interactive options like 
         viewers being able to vote on which sympathy-evoking patient 
         should receive life-saving surgery, and which underperforming 
         hospitals should be bombed into oblivion... 
         
         FILM>> it's a remake of one of the few Frank Sinatra movies to 
         feature an EMP weapon, featuring Don "Swordfish" Cheadle 
         (uncredited, following criticism of his Cockney accent?), 
         Joshua "Dawson's Creek" Jackson (as himself), "and introducing 
         Julia Roberts, as Tess" - look out for other big-name stars in 
         inoffensively cheesy grown-up plot-free caper comedy OCEAN'S 
         ELEVEN (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/oceans11.htm : 
         planning crime, extensively; at least 11 counts of successful 
         crime; impersonating police officers, multiple; Elliot Gould 
         [plays] the quintessential potty-mouth in this film... and 
         potty-mouthed he was!)... while Will Smith is convincing, but 
         that "When We Were Kings" documentary is still ultimately more 
         informative than staggered-release heavyweight biographical-
         epic ALI (http://www.screenit.com/movies/2001/ali.html : 
         Bundini states that he sold Ali's championship belt for $500 
         that he then put up his arm - possibly referring to heroin; 
         the assassins who shoot and kill Malcolm X and Martin Luther 
         King obviously have extreme cases of bad attitudes; some kids 
         could be inspired to imitate Clay/Ali in and out of the ring, 
         including his verbal but humorous taunting of opponents, and 
         his religious/political stances)... 


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
                       Registered at the Post Office as
                         "that's *100%* better, losers!"
             http://b4ta.com/chthonic/better.asp?w1=ntk&w2=b4ta

                                 NEED TO KNOW
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