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        "It would seem highly likely that the launch of a physical 
         attack on Iraq will see [online] counter-attacks from 
         disgruntled Arab, Islamic fundamentalist and anti-American 
         groups..."
                  http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/2231205.stm
      - and, more worryingly, further pompous pronouncements from DK Matai


                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                                 nikto klaatus

         Brits, geeks and Britgeeks mixed freely at the WORLD SCI-FI
         CONVENTION this week, although not without a few scuffles.
         Definitive eurolefty CHINA MIEVILLE held his baby-bald head
         in his hands as fellow panellist ERIC "losing it" RAYMOND
         uttered portentous threats regarding socialism SLIGHTLY TOO
         CLOSE TO THE MICROPHONE, deafening LeGuinites and
         Heinleinians alike. Elsewhere on the techie tip, HARLAN
         ELLISON's lawyer duelled with the EFF's CORY DOCTOROW, and
         admitted that the anti-DMCA advocates had a case; the
         audience waited for his client to blank his cardioplate and
         kill him on the spot. Harlan, fortunately, was elsewhere,
         biting the heads off ebook crackers or something. Rumours of
         JAKOB NIELSEN persisted. He was rarely seen, unless he was
         that furry in the Punk Skunk costume. Perhaps we didn't
         scroll down far enough. Paging up to the sumptuous Hugo
         awards: Guest of honour VERNOR VINGE won a raft of 'em, a
         nudge from his readers to write a bit bloody faster before
         the Singularity hits. Mundanes SAM GAMGEE and SAURON briefly
         teamed up to collect their Hugo for "LOTR: TMP" then earnt
         some Hobbit-like stares for quoting Tolkien on American
         fandom ("my deplorable cultus"). Finally, a shocked NEIL
         GAIMAN stumbled onto stage to clutch at his Hugo for best
         novel, "American Gods". In a moving impromptu confession, he
         admitted that a Hugo was what he most wanted in the world -
         at age 13. Other teen wishes yet unfulfilled were the cute
         twins he sat opposite on the tube, and heat vision; pray he
         never attains them simultaneously.  We'll leave the last
         words with him, as amplified across an audience of geeks of
         all ages: "Fuck. I got a Hugo."
         http://www.locusmag.com/2002/News/News09Log1.html
                     - "Best Dressed Author" Hugo unclaimed yet again
         http://www.asimovs.com/_issue_0206/Lobsters.shtml
- other Brits involved: Charlie Stross, Linux-wielding nerdcore writer...
         http://www.dcs.gla.ac.uk/SF-Archives/Ansible/
       - Dave Langford and the newsletter this item closely resembles

         In other news, science fiction once again risked becoming 
         science fact - that was until THE REGISTER stepped up to 
         counter KEVIN WARWICK's plans to implant a device with all 
         the functionality - and approximate dimensions? - of a mobile 
         phone (and/or GPS receiver) into the arm of one lucky 11-year-
         old girl. Translation: expect a spectacularly scaled-down demo 
         with a subcutaneous anti-shoplifting-style RFID tag in about a 
         year's time. Just one small point for those Warwick supporters 
         who've weighed in with the argument that "We use microchips to 
         find lost pets, so why not missing children?". Chips in 
         animals aren't tracking devices, they're used - because pets 
         can't talk - to establish who their owners are once the 
         animals have been found. Or for identifying their bodies.
         http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/54/26908.html
              - vs http://www.zeppotron.com/unnovations/paedo_go.html
         http://www.prweb.com/releases/2002/7/prweb42597.php
                            - contact us, c/o The GATTACA Corporation
         http://www.putneysw15.com/exchange/Whats_on/PX_whats_on.html
               - Postman Pat pioneers slightly less invasive variants
         http://qwer.org/020906logica.html
 - "Government must slowly reveal the capabilities of the technology"


                                >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         gradually reaching the end of the oddest GOOGLE MISSPELLINGS: 
         http://www.google.com/search?q=%22sacred+stiff%22 , this 
         week's colour-based search-and-replace artefact: "hundgreens", 
         plus those ever-popular page errors: "error '80020009'" and 
       http://www.google.com/search?q=%22socket+%27%2Ftmp%2Fmysql.sock%22
         ... AMAZON propose slightly more "Hollywood-friendly" LOTR 
         pitch: http://www.ntk.net/2002/09/06/dohgold.gif ... get 
         your 2-year-old to "sing along" with Yates' incessant whining: 
         http://www.ntk.net/2002/09/06/dohyates.gif ... over-honest 
         price comparisons: http://www.ntk.net/2002/09/06/dohsave.gif 
         ... what part of "Negative Results" don't you understand?: 
         http://www.jnrbm.com/articles/browse.asp ... to save employee 
         time, ICSTIS "urges Government bot to ignore consumers": 
         http://www.icstis.org/icstis2002/default.asp?Node=61#39 ... 
         Eastleigh Countryside Service's memorable slogan - "Bringing 
         people and the countryside together (or similar catch all)": 
         http://www.eastleigh.gov.uk/countryside/cntryproject.htm ... 
         

                               >> EVENT QUEUE <<
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         Somewhat optimistically, coin-op carnival CALIFORNIA EXTREME 
         (from Sat 2002-09-07, San Jose Convention Centre, around $20) 
         promises "More excitement!" than last year when, as we recall, 
         the laser MAME guys couldn't get into the USA because all the 
         flights were grounded. BORDERS BOOKSHOP on London's Oxford 
         Street meanwhile enters a somewhat different fantastical 
         realm, with the author of the "Krondor" series RAYMOND E FEIST 
         in conversation with up-and-coming Scottish parallel-universer 
         MILLER LAU (6.30pm, Wed 2002-09-09, free). The store then 
         looks to the lighter side of September 11th when fantasy 
         spoofer ROBERT RANKIN marks the anniversary by signing copies 
         of his "fantastic new book", "The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of 
         the Apocalypse" (6.30pm, Wed 2002-09-11, also free).
         http://www.caextreme.org/
           - get in for nothing if you bring your own "Discs Of Tron"
         http://www.borders.co.uk/Eve/OxfS/CH.htm
                  - Mon event hosted by star of XCom2002, Pat Cadigan 


                                >> TRACKING <<
               sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering

         We stand on the shoulders of giants, that we may grasp
         further than their reach. The HARRIXOS operating system was
         an inspiration to developers everywhere when we
         pre-announced it in November 1999. But near-perfection can
         still be trumped, and the torch of OS trailblazer now looks
         to pass to a younger contender. NUCOS, a HarrixOS-like
         operating system, is a kernel, shell and I/O system
         currently building for Wintel machines. Its primary
         academic advantage over the equally original HarrixOS, as
         the researchers at www.memepool.com note, is downloadable
         code. Originally written as a substrate above the QBasic
         environment of Windows, attention is now being paid to
         refactoring the NucOS kernel to allow cross-platform
         porting: Jordan, principal architect, is still having some
         problem converting the idiosyncratic IF...THEN construct
         across to Perl. This week, that showstopper was addressed:
         expect a Cambrian explosion of NucOS framework extensions to
         follow. It is available at Sourceforge, home of many equally
         promising projects.
         http://nucos.sf.net/
                                          - abstract of project goals
         http://nucos.sourceforge.net/nucos_kiwi.pl
                          - full Perl source (licensed under the MPL)
http://web.archive.org/web/20011004011213/http://www.harrixos.co.uk/about.htm
            - perhaps a little competition will encourage both teams?
         http://www.ntk.net/1999/11/26/#TRACKING
                                             - a portal to the future


                                >> MEMEPOOL <<
                ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/

         somehow doesn't sound quite like "HOTMAIL Member Services" to 
         us: http://www.ntk.net/2002/09/06/dohfake.gif ... one year on, 
         proposed high-rise defence systems range from "Sound waves" 
         "to repel flying objects" ("Safety" at http://www.wtc2002.com/ 
         - needs Flash, sorry) to a top-floor religious centre 
         "dedicated to unity amongst the people and religions of the 
         world": http://www.londonbridgetower.com/benefits_tourism.html 
         ... brings considerable experience of what bad guys look like: 
www.corporate-ir.net/ireye/ir_site.zhtml?ticker=VISG&script=410&item_id=330130
         ... ARIEL SHARON checks out Hollywood, Fl retirement homes: 
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-sshouse30aug30.story
         ... seemed like a good idea: http://www.parisbeckham.com/ ... 
         these "review anything" sites are threatening to get out of 
         hand: http://www.mouthshut.com/readreview.php?rid=25925&r=1 , 
www.dooyoo.co.uk/internet/internet_sites/the_dooyoo_redesign/_review/389786/
         ... ah, but http://www.drunkgamers.com/switch0001.shtml could 
         play Java games: http://www.urban75.org/useless/glider.html 
         ... "couldn't-make-this-up" dept - the "Jenga" WTC memorial: 
         http://www.ascensioncatholic-cleveland.org/911%20Memorial.htm ...


                                >> GEEK MEDIA <<
                                  get out less

         TV>> Trudie "Mrs Sting" Styler gets namechecked in the latest 
         of Harry Enfield's meticulously crafted "Kevin the teenager"-
         style characterisations, CELEB (9pm, Fri, BBC1), while 
         simultaneously appearing in FRIENDS (9pm, Fri, C4)... Arnie 
         actioner ERASER (9.30pm, Fri, ITV) famously features a railgun 
         whose muzzle velocity "approaching the speed of light" would 
         propel the shooter several miles into the air... and comedy 
         showbiz magazine BO' SELECTA (10.30pm, Fri, C4) is presented 
         by E4's Avid Merrion, aka unknown comedian Leigh Francis... 
         Jennifer Connelly gets molested by Timothy Dalton in THE 
         ROCKETEER (6pm, Sat, C5)... RUSH HOUR (8.15pm, Sat, BBC1) gets 
         its second showing since Christmas... and Arnie returns in 
         nuclear family nonsense TRUE LIES (10.20pm, Sat, ITV) - 
         contrast with gripping real-life Harrier action in the last of 
         these repeats of DECISIVE WEAPONS (8.30pm, Mon, BBC2)... "Not 
         Another Teen Movie" inspiration SHE'S ALL THAT (9.20pm, Sat, 
         C4) nonetheless has quite a good dance scene... apparently 
         there's some sort of lesbian subtext to Gina Gershon gangster 
         thriller BOUND (12.30am, Sat, C4)... while a young Sarah 
         Jessica Parker pops up in relativistic kiddie sci-fi FLIGHT OF 
         THE NAVIGATOR (1pm, Sun, BBC1)... three very different views 
         of the challenges facing modern teenagers are provided by 
         Oxford fly-on-the-wall COLLEGE GIRLS (9pm, Sun, C4), rip-
         roaring "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers" clone THE FACULTY 
         (10pm, Sun, C4), and Lara Flynn Boyle bonkathon THREESOME 
         (10pm, Mon, C4)... STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE (7.30pm, 
         Tue, ITV) is presumably scheduled to help viewers get more of 
         the jokes in SPACEBALLS (11.30pm, Tue, ITV)... though try not 
         to miss the good bit at the beginning of SAVING PRIVATE RYAN 
         (9pm, Tue, C5)... then there's plenty of archive September 
         11th tragi-tainment for your Public Enemy "911 Is A Joke" 
         remix on Wed, surreally interspersed with the likes of LIZ 
         HURLEY'S BRAINS (9pm, Wed, C4), SEVEN DAYS THAT SHOOK THE 
         SPICE GIRLS (9pm, Tue, C4), and three films by designer posers 
         Tomato in SHOOTING GALLERY (from 1am, Thu, C4)... 
         
         FILM>> Bill "Aliens" Paxton directs himself in the "Texas 
         Chainsaw Massacre"-esque religious maniac domestic horror 
         FRAILTY ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2002/frailty.html : 
         An older boy mentions he'd do anything to see the "t*ts" of 
         the Daisy Duke character on the old TV show "The Dukes of 
         Hazzard"; it's possible some impressionable kids/teens could 
         get the idea to kill in the name of religion)... Doug 
         "Swingers" Liman directs Matt Damon and Franka "Run Lola Run" 
         Potente in "Memento"-lite amnesia thriller THE BOURNE IDENTITY 
         ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/bourneidentity.htm : 
         drinking to soothe nerves; armed military maneuvers to 
         capture; gaping face kissing while in underwear stripping, 
         then panning away to clearly imply intercourse)... the 
         identity confusion continues in bizarrely semi-modernised 
         Brit-made Wilde adaptation THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST 
         ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/import-earnest.htm : 
         suggestion to commit adultery; a flash scene of a female rear 
         getting a tattoo)... and, following Feltz's appearance on 
         "Shooting Stars", it's Vanessa Feltz, Vic Reeves and Bob 
         Mortimer - together again! - in the last of Shane Meadows' 
         "Nottingham" trilogy, ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE MIDLANDS 
         ( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : Contains strong language)... 


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
                       Registered at the Post Office as
             "an online novella [...] about an anti-globalisation 
         campaigner who abandons direct action in favour of protesting 
                              via the internet"
              http://www.independent.co.uk/story.jsp?story=329314


                                 NEED TO KNOW
            THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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