_ _ _____ _ __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the uk>
| \ | |_ _| |/ / _ __ __2002-10-25_ o join! mail an empty message to
| \| | | | | ' / | '_ \ / _ \ \ /\ / / o firstname.lastname@example.org
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|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\|_| |_|\___/ \_/\_/ o http://www.ntk.net/ "My belief - which was sort of wrong, but may in the long
term be right - is that [the net] is going to change business
slowly, over a long period of time..."
...ie, a sufficiently long period of time for me to become right again
>> HARD NEWS <<
Sure, after both BRUCE DICKINSON and CHUCK D dropped out, we
were mainly going to last night's Oxford Union "free music"
debate to give RIAA chair (and erstwhile Napster-slayer)
HILARY ROSEN a hard time. But, as it turned out, there was no
need - Rosen was quite happy to make extraordinary claims that
no copy-protected CDs have been released in the USA
(fatchucks.com, we imagine, would beg to differ), and that
musicians will continue making music whatever happens, which
surely doesn't quite back up her anti-file-sharing position.
Reassuringly, the motion that "This House believes that the
free music mentality is a threat to the future of music" was
resoundingly defeated by a hefty 256 "Noes" to 72 "Ayes" - so:
if we can demolish them this effectively on our home ground,
why can't we do it in real life? Though we did give Hilary and
Jay Berman (of the International Federation of Phonographic
Industries) a special round of applause when we later ran into
them in the garden outside. "Tough crowd", we sympathised, and
"You did very well considering your indefensible position".
- some problems finding students to speak for the motion too
- vs http://www.mba-experience.com/http://alumni.ox.compsoc.net/~agk/photos/CDR/full/C0889.jpg
- Hilary averts eyes from CD shirt, of which more later
Nice to see so many NTK subscribers at the Oxford Hilarython
- still no news of a coach party to the forthcoming software
patents "public meeting" (the one, you remember, in
Brussels on 2002-11-07, in the cupboard beneath the European
Parliament stairs, next to the sign saying "Beware of the
Leopard"). However, Andy Ellam wrote in to point out that
the person doing the drafting for the Parliament is slightly
closer to home. ARLENE MCCARTHY, MEP for the North West,
will be writing the software patent legislation - so if
you're a concerned constituent, you might want to give her a
little note explaining your worries. Or, if there's a crowd
of you, see if you can't organise a meeting. Fax and email
details are at http://www.arlenemccarthy.labour.co.uk/ . Mail
us at email@example.com with "Come On Arlene" if you'd like to
be introduced to people with similar interests. "She hasn't
declared any relevant financial interests", says Andy,
peering over the PDF of her declarations, "but rather
worryingly, she does seem to be a Roxy Music Fan".
- paging Mr "Friend of the Technologist" Eno!
- all you need to know about software patents, and slightly more
Usenet has always been the Eastern Front of the Net: it was
they who faced the first Newbie invasions, the first spam
warlords, the deprivations of scaling, the raiding-parties
of early censors. And yet, despite all the ravages, running
it behind the scenes has been the same old sinister,
lowercase cabal. It takes its toll, though: and thus it came
to pass that the seeming everlasting, often quiescent, David
C. Lawrence a.k.a "tale", has stepped down as moderator of
news.announce.newsgroups. tale's been around since the
beginning of known time, and was king of the newgroup and
rmgroup message - the official seal of approval for the
creation and destruction of froups in the Big 8 (comp, sci,
talk, biz, rec, news, misc and kibo) - even after a nasty
bike accident a few years ago. Stepping into his place are
Russ Allbery, Todd McComb and piranha - Usenet (and, to some
embarrassment, Usenet 2) veterans all. The switchover is a
time for some long-time hatchet burials: the rogue INET
newsgroups (briefly a breakaway republic from the Big 8
empire) have been readmitted. But that's it. As tale always
seemed to like it, it's all quiet again. For now.
- two weeks ago, and nothing's broken yet
- and not April 1st this time
- new triumvirate not always as taciturn as tale
>> ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
"Grand Theft Auto Vice City is brilliant" writes LUCIEN KING,
co-founder of RockStar Games, developers of Grand Theft Auto:
PETA changes tack: http://www.ntk.net/2002/10/25/dohpet.gif ...
self-similiar self-help http://www.xu.edu/lac/Procrastination.htm
.... proof-reading doesn't get more high-profile than this:
http://www.spicypictures.com/ ... although perhaps it should be:
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22at+it%27s+best%22 (esp. number 10)
... attracting the lucrative "Viz reader" tourist market:
well, somebody's going to get a lot of telephone calls:
... for organic, but presumably irradiated produce:
a database error with a fine playground taunt tone to it:
http://www.ntk.net/2002/10/25/doharcher.gif ... for unusually
precise shoppers http://www.microbuyer.co.uk/en-gb/dept_55.html ...
>> EVENT QUEUE <<
goto's considered non-harmful
BOB CRAVEN, DANNY & BETTY BOON, Miami Vice tribute band MIAMI
SPICE and, of course, disgraced New Romantic pop icon GARY LE
STRANGE will be gracing the stage at the irregular talent show
hosted by PETERFORD GOLF CLUB (7.30pm, Tue 2002-10-29, Canal
Cafe Theatre, London W2, UKP5), kind of like "Vic Reeves' Big
Night Out", but with a plot. A somewhat less motley lineup
will be discussing CHARGING FOR CONTENT: CAN IT WORK? (6.30pm,
Wed 2002-10-30, The Media Centre, London W1P, free - including
one drink - to pre-registered editorial professionals), where
speakers include FT.com's JAMES BOXELL and The Friday Thing's
PAUL CARR who, we're pleased to report, was never charged with
*anything* over the content of thinkofthechildren.co.uk. Heh.
- doesn't appear on here for some reason
- third speaker reassuringly "TBC"
- "Tee hee hee", indeed
- also on Wed: the IEEE hack the PS2
- in Oxford on Thu: the Richard Clayton bankrobbing roadshow
>> TRACKING <<
sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering
Penance week here at Tracking, after everybody and their
second monitor wrote in to say that X2VNC does everything
that last week's SYNERGY does - and has been doing it since
199X. So what better rod for our backs than the W3C's
newly-revamped HTML VALIDATOR? No less strict, but more
explanatory, this new beta of the Web's dominatrix is still
handing out chinese burns for the slightest HTML deviation.
Only nowadays it won't take those pathetic "dog ate my
character encoding" and "left my DOCTYPE at home" excuses.
We'll take that as a cue to fix NTK's shameful
ill-formedness over the weekend. Just as soon as we've tried
to upgrade to the all new FREENET 0.5 - the other part of
our self-imposed punishment. Oh, we are so very very bad.
- responsible parties have been "degaussed"
- public beta; will arrive at its destination port soonest
- Windows users get an auto-installer, the lucky devils
>> MEMEPOOL <<
ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ oh, those annoying higher-rated GOOGLE name-alikes:
not to be confused with the "John Leslie" unceremoniously
"disappeared" from http://makeashorterlink.com/?N21162A32 ...
http://homepage.virgin.net/vernon.jenkins/PS.htm - the darker
side of: http://www.cl.cam.ac.uk/~mgk25/iso-paper.html ?...
Wharf TV: http://www.frisnit.com/radar/radar.html vs DAVID
ICKE's "you will invariably find a skyscraper shaped like an
obelisk because of the effect that has on the energy field":
... life: http://www.ahleman.com/ElectriClerk6.html imitates
JWZ: http://www.jwz.org/gruntle/tty.html ... related artists:
http://www.justinspace.com/ebay/ebayart.html gone too far:
... at last - a POWERPOINT HAMLET which doesn't need frickin'
Powerpoint: http://home.nyc.rr.com/dradosh/ppaol.html ...
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
blimey, new http://www.tvgohome.com/ TV>> nerdy Ben Stiller private detective indie curio ZERO
EFFECT (12.55am, Fri, C5) is, nonetheless, one of the all-too-
few films that ends with someone saying the title... Channel
4's bid to move away from list-based Saturday nights is
undermined by the American Film Institute's 100 YEARS - 100
THRILLS (9pm, Sat, C4)... while CLASSIC ALBUMS (12midnight,
Sat, ITV) presents a long-overdue appreciation of "Never Mind
The Bollocks, Here's The Sex Pistols"... FOYLE'S WAR (8pm,
Sun, ITV) appears to be a non-ironic adaptation of TVGoHome's
"Inspector Bumhat"... TRUE SPIES (9pm, Sun, BBC2) is a fly-on-
the-wall documentary about life at Special Branch and MI5...
and marrying into unexpected complications is the dual theme
of both MICKEY BLUE EYES (9pm, Sun, C4) and THE CHERYL
BARRYMORE STORY (9pm, Sun, C5)... "You are feeling sleepy...
You *will* add a programme reminder...", insists the Digiguide
listing for DERREN BROWN: MIND CONTROL 3 (10.55pm, Sun, C4):
http://www.ntk.net/2002/10/18/dohderren.gif ... the makers of
"From Hell" take a look at the other side of the business in
AMERICAN PIMP (11.10pm, Mon, C4)... and THE STATE WE'RE IN
(9.30pm, Tue, BBC Choice) is the current affairs show
developed under the working title of as "News Is My Bitch"...
Iain "not Clive" Sinclair helps put psychogeography on the map
- http://www.martian.fm/psychogeography.htm - in his M25
profile LONDON ORBITAL (11.40pm, Tue, C4)... "consolidation is
inevitable" is the bizarre pro-corporate message of Meg Ryan
AOL product placement atrocity YOU'VE GOT MAIL (9pm, Wed,
C5)... and child-prodigy composer Daniel Pemberton proudly
announces he's done the soundtrack for the COMEDY LAB
(11.40pm, Thu, C4) adaptation of East London's sub-Nathan
Barley fanzine "Shoreditch Twat"...
FILM>> we weren't too impressed with Andrew "Gattaca" Niccol's
high-concept Al Pacino non-CGI synthespian goatee-stroker
S1MONE ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/simone.htm : talk
of godhood; full nudity, brief; three men urinating in a
restroom; vehicular irresponsibility; fraud throughout)...
nor, for that matter, self-consciously surreal goth "Back To
The Future" knockoff DONNIE DARKO ( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ :
Contains strong language and psychological horror)... Neil "In
The Company Of Men" LaBute puts his trademark misanthropy on
hold for historic Gwyneth Paltrow flashback romance POSSESSION
( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/possession.htm : lesbian
snuggling; gaping mouth kissing; mockery of God's Grace;
portrayal that a lesbian choice is acceptable; suicide by
lesbian, viewed twice)... making this week's surprise
recommendation - assuming you can withstand sustained exposure
to near-lethal levels of cod Russian accents - endlessly grim
Harrison Ford Soviet nuclear sub tension-twister K-19: THE
WIDOWMAKER ( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : Moderate grisly images
and sustained moderate peril)...
FULL SHIRTS BAD! T-SHIRTS GOOD!>> well done to long-term reader
(but first-time winner!) LLOYD WOOD who, after many years of
sending in bizarre t-shirt slogans - we particularly remember
his Slashdot-baiting "stuff the nerds - news that matters" -
has at last hit paydirt with his oh-so-simple suggestion of
"++UNGOOD;" - you know, "double-plus", like in "1984"? The
judges were especially impressed by the elaborate, J Peterman-
catalogue-style exposition he provided to support his case:
- and of course the fact that, once you've decided which
distressed typewriter font to go for, the shirt almost designs
itself. It's on sale now at http://www.ntkmart.com/ , along
with some (limited) new stock of the ever-popular "404
/SHIRT/TIE NOT FOUND", lowtech.org's "SKIP RAIDER" technology
recycling design, the "CORRUPT CD" one which Hilary Rosen
looked so unamused by, and (relatively uncommon) first edition
printings of Mil Millington's THINGS MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAVE
ARGUED ABOUT book (not currently available in t-shirt form)
... a good response to last month's "Ben Franklin" idea
by DUNCAN MARTIN, so we'll try and push that up the print
queue before Christmas. On a similar note, there's been a real
cyberactivist emphasis to your recent entries, including
and http://www.vertebrate.co.uk/shirts/criminal.gif ; JAMES
SWIFT's http://www.geekstyle.co.uk/images/fnuck.png ; and the
mysterious "JONATHAN"'s http://www.castlecoole.com/ . But
don't forget: you can always just send us a text slogan - like
the anonymous poster behind "STDIO ERGO SUM" - and still win
up to UKP2.00 royalty per item!... no major media sightings
this month - though Martian FM's IAN MARTIN saw an NTK shirt
on September's "Stop The War" march, worn by a "30-something
bespectacled Londoner with a commanding moral grandeur" - but
we have at last got to the bottom of the appearance in the
Buffy The Vampire Slayer Roleplaying Game [NTK 2002-09-27].
"I am just a silly yank illustrator that had no knowledge of
your edgy publication!", writes the original artist, one RK
POST http://www.rkpost.com/ . "I didn't want to infringe on
any trademark characters. So I thought that I made something
up... or was it fate?" Punishment withheld - this time - RK;
truly our control of the world's media subconscious is now
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
Registered at the Post Office as
"If there is a mixture of standing and kneeling, then stand"
NEED TO KNOW
THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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