every friday

NTK


search NTK now

archive

  • NTK 2007
  • NTK 2006
  • NTK 2005
  • NTK 2004
  • NTK 2003
  • 2002-12-27
    MiniNTK #18
    Question Me!
  • 2002-12-20
    #271
    Seasonal Humbug
  • 2002-12-13
    #270
    Fear and Ignorance. Ignorance and Fear. Those are our watchwords.
  • 2002-12-06
    #269
    Lies, USENET lies, and government consultation periods
  • 2002-11-29
    #268
    thanks, but no thanks
  • 2002-11-22
    #267
    letters to the government, packets to the people
  • 2002-11-15
    #266
    changing our underwear, updating our risumis
  • 2002-11-08
    #265
    uk.gone, digital rag and bone, dance dance implementation
  • 2002-11-01
    #264
    Old Media Cheek, Currently Residing in The Event Queue File
  • 2002-10-25
    #263
    Hilary's term at Oxford
  • 2002-10-18
    #262
    the meetings will continue until morale improves
  • 2002-10-11
    #261
    zer0 day b33b and the Sinclair Brothers
  • 2002-10-04
    #260
    Google shark-jumping?, Perl and Cocoa
  • 2002-09-27
    #259
    Children of the Banned, Party poop
  • 2002-09-20
    #258
    LibDems, KidPr0n, DVDSync
  • 2002-09-13
    #257
    The claims of Acclaim, Perl world tour
  • 2002-09-06
    #256
    Cons and conmen, HARRIXOS will never die!
  • 2002-08-30
    #255
    Earth invasion postponed.
  • 2002-08-23
    #254
    EUCD2, Bayes Watch, PlayStation "cool"
  • 2002-08-16
    MiniNTK #18
    Summertime Squeak Special - in Dolby
  • 2002-08-09
    #253
    EUCD UK, Defcon Upshots, another W3C compliance test to fail
  • 2002-08-02
    #252
    Summertime Surveillance, No Orgasms for Kevin
  • 2002-07-26
    #251
    Movement down the Redbus, Sexy Torrents of Bits, No *I'm* Ploticus
  • 2002-07-19
    #250
    Back in the former USSR, Charlie the Angry Drunken Satirist, 8 bits enter a room 1K leaves
  • 2002-07-12
    #249
    Do y*u Y*h**?, Edge vs NTK vs KLF vs Johnny Ball
  • 2002-07-05
    #248
    man perlbeg, googlebucks, be the gipper of fipr
  • 2002-06-28
    #247
    careless talk, lies at the palladium, checking lilo status
  • 2002-06-21
    #246
    RIPA, mate; ooh UKUUG; and fizzy milk
  • 2002-06-14
    #246
    post-XCOM letdown, BBCing you, socat sogood
  • 2002-06-07
    MiniNTK #17
    a word from our sponsors
  • 2002-05-31
    #245
    Demons of the past, Extreme Pleading
  • 2002-05-24
    #244
    Phone bridge of sighs, but Outlook is rosy at last
  • 2002-05-17
    #243
    All Cons, No Pros
  • 2002-05-10
    #242
    Grammy Boots, Perl To Python, Emerging Conferences
  • 2002-05-03
    #241
    Everyone dress up as monkeys and run for mayor. Pass it on.
  • 2002-04-26
    #240
    CDR, EUCD, DPA, 1475!
  • 2002-04-19
    #239
    No^H^H Yes Minister, Computers Freedom Privacy, For Fsck's Sake
  • 2002-04-12
    #238
    invisible nets, unrecognised countries, zen differentials
  • 2002-04-05
    #237
    Going CYC-O, audioshopping, doubleplus unconvention
  • 2002-03-29
    MiniNTK #16
    Happy Mozday!
  • 2002-03-22
    #236
    Bad BT, Bad PPP, Bad BBC!
  • 2002-03-15
    #235
    Murdoch (probably) owns you, silly billing, haiku-fu
  • 2002-03-08
    #234
    Liberty requires eternal ebullience, love and reality both bite
  • 2002-03-01
    #233
    Grammy sucks eggs, Dead Men Posting, and get well soon Rob
  • 2002-02-22
    #232
    Codecon, Funky Dredds and "Life" is the name of the game
  • 2002-02-15
    #231
    goth bands, froups banned, bitmap of the heart
  • 2002-02-08
    #230
    Takedown's a bitch, creme egg *cones*?
  • 2002-02-01
    #229
    Booby prizes, dorkbot and dillo
  • 2002-01-25
    #228
    BBC basics, Ms Tron, more of .me
  • 2002-01-18
    #227
    It's always about .me, isn't it?
  • 2002-01-11
    #226
    Big Marc, Little Marc, Gopher broke, and get whitey chocolate
  • 2002-01-04
    MiniNTK #15
    "Happy New Warez" porn link round-up
  • NTK 2001
  • NTK 2000
  • NTK 1999
  • NTK 1998
  • NTK 1997
  • HARD NEWS
  • ANTI-NEWS
  • EVENT QUEUE
  • TRACKING
  • MEMEPOOL
  • GEEK MEDIA
  • SMALL PRINT
 _   _ _____ _  __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the uk>
| \ | |_   _| |/ / _ __   __2002-07-12_ o join! mail an empty message to
|  \| | | | | ' / | '_ \ / _ \ \ /\ / / o ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net
| |\  | | | | . \ | | | | (_) \ v  v /  o website (+ archive) lives at:
|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\|_| |_|\___/ \_/\_/   o     http://www.ntk.net/


         "Other designers too, such as Lateral chairman Jon Bains, say
         online design rip-offs are common. 'A lot of the stuff we
         did for Levi's is now being abused,' he says."
             - some of us remember abusing it fairly heavily at the time
      http://media.guardian.co.uk/mediaguardian/story/0,7558,751048,00.html


                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                               in powers of two

         Nice to see, in the midst of all these scandals, Yahoo
         turning a healthy profit. But as other companies fiddle the
         figures, Yahoo's been busy instead with fiddling its own
         users' private correspondence. In a fantastically clumsy
         attempt to prevent cross-site scripting attacks, the free
         e-mail wing of the sprawling giant has long been replacing
         complete English words in the text of HTML mail sent to its
         users. Mention "mocha" in an HTML mail to a friend with a
         @yahoo.com account, and your choice in coffee will be
         silently switched to "espresso". Talk about "free
         expression", and your recipient will think you said "free
         statement". Here's the full list of swaperoos:
         http://www.ntk.net/2002/07/12/yahoo.txt
                                 - try not to mail it to your friends

         This fiddling has been going on now for over a year year
         (the ever vigilant RISKS digest noted it back in March
         2001). But because of Yahoo's underhand methods, very few
         people have spotted the turnabout - certainly far fewer than
         if Yahoo had done the sensible thing and, say, "**"'ed out
         the vowels in the word, or, God forbid, written a smarter
         parser. But the sneakier you are, the wider the damage
         spreads. The word "medieval" (since it contains the
         javascript command "eval") is converted in Yahoo mail to
         "medireview". Google now shows over 640 sites (and 1,150
         separate instances) of the word "medireview" being used as a
         synonym for medieval. University papers, bibliographies and
         book reviews, Indian newspaper columnists, and endless
         enthusiast sites drop it unseen into texts. People have
         begun to ask where it originally came from, and does it have
         a subtler meaning beyond "medieval"? Is Yahoo ever going to
         fix its filters? Or is it time we pushed to get the first
         regexp-obfuscated word into the Oxford English Dictionary?
         http://catless.ncl.ac.uk/Risks/21.34.html
           - does anyone still at Yahoo even know how to turn it off?
         http://www.google.com/search?q=medireview
                          - NTK now entirely filled with google links

         That's not to say the e-commerce sector is any better with
         the numeric wing of alphanumerics. Rivalling last week's $3
         billion bill for a Google text ad campaign, two NTK readers
         spotted AMAZON.CO.UK apparently "writing off" sums in the
         region of 900 trillion pounds as "Totals before VAT" on
         purchases as innocuous as a RedHat CD-ROM and DVDs of "Brass
         Eye" and "The Simpsons". It's possible an older evil may be
         at work here: both incidents follow an occasion when an
         unsuspecting customer appeared to have been charged a cool 3
         million for a copy of "Cthulhu By Gaslight", and the
         uncountable horrors contained therein. On a lighter note,
         we have one unconfirmed report of NATWEST taking a leaf out
         of Dr Evil's book on Thu 2002-06-27, when its automated
         credit card phone system would cheerfully announce recent
         transactions such as "8th March: One Hundred Billion Pounds.
         8th March: Eight Pounds 47. 8th March: One Hundred Billion
         Pounds." If that's not a boost to consumer confidence, we
         really don't know what is.
         http://www.ntk.net/2002/07/12/doham1.gif
         http://www.ntk.net/2002/07/12/doham2.gif
         http://www.ntk.net/2002/07/12/doham3.gif
                                 - you want loyalty points with that?


                                >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         now in its third incredible month, PUERILE GOOGLE MISSPELLINGS
         AHOY: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22pubic+holiday%22 -
         plus "pubic convenience", "open to the pubic", "cumputer",
         http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=FP_DumpError%20strErrorUrl ,
         "wank to know", and the perhaps not-particularly-clairvoyant:
     http://www.google.com/search?num=1&query=%22remember+to+edit+this%22
         ... one of these "men's pants" is not like the others...:
         http://www.ntk.net/2002/07/12/dohdeb.gif ... Nathan Barley
         Outfitters Ltd: http://www.ntk.net/2002/07/12/dohgit.gif ...
         "Casual footwear can mean casual attitudes", President warns:
         http://www.ntk.net/2002/07/12/dohsan.gif ... ... first paragraph
         of http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/NTKisSkill/2094374.stm
         imitates the last of: http://physicsweb.org/article/world/11/2/9/1
         ... VENABLES "under the microscope" - a microscope ON DRUGS:
         http://www.bbc.co.uk/leeds/news/072002/08/venables_quiz.shtml ...


                               >> EVENT QUEUE <<
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         It's the epic NTK vs "EDGE" showdown that's been brewing since 
         the dawn of time - plus C64 tribute band PRESS PLAY ON TAPE, 
         JOHNNY BALL, WILL SELF, and the KLF's BILL DRUMMOND. Well, not 
         all on the same bill, disappointingly, but contributing to 
         different events during the course of THE CLERKENWELL LITERARY 
         FESTIVAL (from Tue 2002-07-16, area around Farringdon tube 
         station, London EC1). We particularly recommend: NTK's "DAVE 
         GREEN" perversely opposing the motion CAN COMPUTERS TELL 
         STORIES? (6.30pm, Tue 2002-07-16, Tardis Studios, 54 Turnmill 
         St, UKP5), versus the likes of CHARLES "Revolution Software" 
         CECIL, JAMES "Hogshead" WALLIS and the guy from Edge - also 
         features sale of old NTK t-shirt stock at amazing knock-down 
         prices. Wed is C64 night, with BEN "Gremlin Graphics" DAGLISH 
         introducing the sensual sounds of the SID chip, as recreated 
         by Swedish cover maestros PRESS PLAY ON TAPE (6pm, Wed 2002-
         07-17, The Gallery, 77 Cowcross St, UKP10 - includes, while 
         stocks last, free posters, bags and CDs). Then you are 
         instructed to "bunk off early" for THE HISTORY OF COMPUTER 
         GAMES PUB QUIZ (4pm, Fri 2002-07-19, The Surprise, 28-32 
         Bowling Green Lane, free), hosted by ADAM "The Adam And Joe 
         Show" BUXTON, and featuring NTK's vocal impersonations of 
         classic videogaming moments, plus your chance to win that 
         timeless icon of retro-credibility, the Sony PlayStation 2.
         http://www.idler.co.uk/html/frontsection/events.htm
                       - Theremins! Board games! And "Is God A Cunt?"
         http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=01998-06-26&l=95#l
         http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=01997-10-17&l=145#l
                                         - ah, those were the days...


                                >> TRACKING <<
               sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering

         The world is divided between those who keep their mail on
         the server, and those who frantically POP3 it down as soon
         as they hear a TCP/IP dial-tone. And no-one is happy,
         because the serveroids are screwed whenever they'ree
         offline, and the POPpers are fisted whenever they stray from
         their local copies. And God help those of us in-between,
         frantically trying to sync their IMAP folders with their
         local copies.  And so God has, in His mysterious way.
         OFFLINEIMAP is a great IMAP synching program written in
         Python 2.2.  Point it at an IMAP account, and it'll
         bidirectionally sync every folder it can find with a local
         copy. That means you can happily gulp down all your mail to
         your laptop, reply, delete, transfer, and flag them offline,
         and at the next sync your IMAP folder will reflect the new
         truths. The only downside is that offlineimap saves the
         local copy in Dan "Closer to God than thou" Bernstein'ss
         Maildir format. Very secure, but a bit scantily supported by
         mail readers. Mutt will do it, as will Balsa and (we think)
         Pine. For others, you may want to consider running
         courier-imap and using your local machine as your new IMAP
         server.  Twisted, but we're sure God would approve.
         http://gopher.quux.org:70/devel/offlineimap
- bloody-mindedly gopher-compatible. May be Satan. May eat your mail.


                                >> MEMEPOOL <<
                ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/

         http://www.framleyexaminer.com/ book deal... When Audiophiles
         Attack #3 - digital interconnects *don't* all sound the same:
 http://www.hifichoice.co.uk/review_list.asp?category=CAB&subcategory=DIGTL
         ... (intentionally humorous) Open Source development How-To:
         http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=35668&cid=3851076 ... vs
         Linux advocacy How-To: http://24.221.230.253/ ... proudly
         naturist "TIVO logo should never be depicted wearing clothing
         or costumes (like Santa hats or Hawaiian skirts)", rules reveal:
         http://www.tivo.com/flash.asp?page=entertain_wallpaper ...
       http://media.guardian.co.uk/broadcast/story/0,7493,754228,00.html
         imitates: http://www.theonion.com/onion3218/gaymuppet.html ...
         because it seems like literally weeks since we last ran one of
         these: http://www.classicgaming.com/blackeyesoftware/pr0n/ ...
         Orange or Blue? O2 or O-Town? T-Mobile or N-Sync? Three or
         Five? Is it just us, or is it getting harder to tell the
         difference between mobile networks and boy bands nowadays?...


                                >> GEEK MEDIA <<
                                  get out less

         TV>> ANNA IN WONDERLAND (10.30pm, Fri, BBC Choice) meets the
         "Furries" which, as we all know, is not a fetish, but a valid
         lifestyle: http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/35/25807.html
         ... brief Drew Barrymore nudity enlivens female-bonding Whoopi
         Goldberg/ Mary-Louise Parker road trip BOYS ON THE SIDE
         (12.20am, Fri, BBC2)... and crikey, mates, it's DEADLY DRAGONS
         WITH STEVE IRWIN (1.10pm, Sat, ITV)... a winning mix of mild
         titillation and TV nostalgia constitutes SPORT RELIEF (from
         7pm, Sat, BBC1)... alternative fund-raising suggestions come
         courtesy of docu-drama THE GREAT DOME ROBBERY (9.55pm, Sat,
         C5)... and a local swami makes fun of the protagonist's
         hairgel in an even more self-referential than usual ANGEL
         (10.35pm, Sat, C4)... plenty of plot holes, factual errors,
         cheesy Kirk acting in STAR TREK: GENERATIONS (1pm, Sun, BBC1):
         http://uk.imdb.com/Goofs?0111280 ... there's alleged full-
         frontal nudity from both David Bowie and Rip "Larry Sanders
         Show" Torn in the glacially unwatchable THE MAN WHO FELL TO
         EARTH (11.30pm, Sun, BBC2)... Sunday night is shaping up as a
         popular slot for supposed "making of" electronic press kit
         promos like SEEING THE FUTURE: SPIELBERG'S MINORITY REPORT
         (11.40pm, Sun, C4) - but with added Philip K Dick craziness...
         and a stubborn local mayor ignores warnings, refuses to cancel
         festivities in METERORITES! (10.50am, Mon, BBC2)... Kyle "Dune
         Guy" MacLachlan inadvertently remakes "Big John, Little John"
         in made-for-TV movie THE SPRING (9pm, Mon, C5)... Iain Lee -
         who knows a thing or two about career-limiting moves - hosts
         MY WORST WEEK (10.35pm, Tue, BBC1) on George Michael's brief
         return to the public eye... and of course OJ Simpson had to be
         "discredited" after spilling the beans about the faked moon
         landings in CAPRICORN ONE (11pm, Tue, ITV)... THE WATERBOY
         (9pm, Tue, C5) is one of the few retarded Adam Sandler movies
         not parodied by the startling http://www.kerrap.co.uk/ ... NTK
         reader Stevan Keane maintains there's an innuendo about "Oriel
         Six" in the largely tedious early episodes of STAR TREK:
         ENTERPRISE (6pm, Wed & Thu, C4)... and set your videos for
         amusing RIAA remix soundbites in The Money Programme's
         typically unsensationalised ATTACK OF THE CYBER PIRATES
         (7.30pm, Wed, BBC2)...

         FILM>> Paul "Mortal Kombat, Event Horizon" Anderson resurrects
         a competent but uninspired adaptation - right down to the bad
         acting and dialogue - of survival horror original RESIDENT
         EVIL ( http://www.cndb.com/movie.html?title=Resident+Evil :
         a very brief shot of [Milla Jovovich's] nipple near the
         beginning as she gets out of a tub. At the very end she gets
         up off a table with a little white gown covering her front and
         back, as she kneels down you see some lower nudity [...] This
         makes the DVD a must buy)... Anthony Hopkins is reunited with
         the "it puts the lotion on its skin" girl, Chris Rock notably
         fails to comment on Hopkins being called "Gaylord" in jovial
         "Beverley Hills Cop"/ "The Sum Of All Fears" spy hybrid BAD
         COMPANY ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/badcompany.htm :
         women as sex toys; picture nudity; female nudity behind
         steamed shower doors; multiple deaths by gunfire; illegal
         sales, scalping)... "Gattaca's" Ethan Hakwe and Uma Thurman
         team up again in Richard "Slacker" Linklater's experimental
         digging-up-the-past containment drama TAPE (imdb: date-rape/
         film-maker/ human-relationship/ motel/ highschool/ obsession/
         reunion/ secret)... making this week's surprise recommendation
         the reassuringly unreverential part-CGI remake SCOOBY DOO
         ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2002/scooby-doo.html : [Sarah
         Michelle Gellar] and [Isla "Home And Away" Fisher] show
         varying amounts of cleavage; [LINDA "Freaks And Geeks"
         Cardellini] briefly also shows a moderate amount of cleavage;
         Scrappy Doo - a small talking dog - urinates on Daphne's
         clothing; kids could be enticed to talk like Scooby-Doo)...


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
                       Registered at the Post Office as
                             "poetically licensed"
           http://www.perl.com/pub/a/2002/07/p6pdigest/20020702.html


                                 NEED TO KNOW
            THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
                         Archive - http://www.ntk.net/
              Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net
                Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net
 NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.geekstyle.co.uk/

                          (K) 2002 Special Projects.
             Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/

                    Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com
             All communication is for publication, unless you beg.
              Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com
     Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material.
       Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention.
              Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.
    
  • HARD NEWS
  • ANTI-NEWS
  • EVENT QUEUE
  • TRACKING
  • MEMEPOOL
  • GEEK MEDIA
  • SMALL PRINT