_ _ _____ _ __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the uk>
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|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\|_| |_|\___/ \_/\_/ o http://www.ntk.net/ "Using 'k3wl' instead of 'cool' and making sure the 'a' is
always replaced by '4' may seem insignificant habits any
teenager living in an SMS world might do. But by talking the
talk and virtually walking the walk, IS/Recon has gained the
trust of nearly 100 different [hacker] groups..."
...and literally gigabytes of 0-day warez and serialz!
>> HARD NEWS <<
shuffling in the pews
Think you had a bad week? Well, you did. You just didn't
hear about it. First up: after extraordinary scenes in the
House of Lords on Wednesday, the government managed to push
through its five standing orders of the apocalypse - to let
a smorgasbord of local authorities monitor email and phone
traffic, plus proposals to force ISPs to retain traffic
data. All the proposals have been watered down a little
since they were first aired. But it's all still pretty bad,
as was indicated by the Tories' desperate attempt to
introduce a "fatal amendment". Fatal amendments - which
basically add "This house believes the following law should
be taken outside and shot:" - are the Nuke-From-Orbit of the
Lords' arsenal. They haven't been successfully used in the
House for thirty years. Taken aback by this approach, the
government went on the offensive, threatening to use
similiar tactics on future Tory administrations. It all got
a bit nastily party-political from there on in. When the
mist cleared, the Lib-Dems had caved on data retention, the
Tories went off muttering about doing some angry squeaking
in the Commons, and we got a fistful of bad law. Worse: you
didn't know any of it was happening until it was far too late.
- (from Hansard) LORD RICHARD: You're doing *what*?
- "not just bad, but maybe illegal too"
The ID cards roadshow that Blunkett launched this week had a
little more warning: and perhaps their longer timetable (due
in 2013) will allow them to be stopped. Especially if the
government keep on getting over-excited about the biometric
bits. The reason we need new cards is because of this
exciting new technology, goes the current spin. Exciting new
technology, such as retinal scans, which haven't been proven
to work with large populations, and are *just* like
passwords, only you can't change them when they're
compromised, and with a long history of false negatives.
Particularly impressive is Fiona McTaggart's current pitch.
An ex-chairwoman for Liberty and now a Minister in the
government, she attributes her entire volte-face on ID cards
down to the marvels of biometric magic. "If I'm honest, one
unstated reason why I have opposed ID cards is my fear that
this is another thing for me to lose", she gushes, before
explaining that, because she can't lose her eyes or
fingerprints, these new ID cards must be okay. We have to
say: if the government's so excited about new tech, why did
the ID card consultation still mistake thousands of
responses from the STAND relay as being automated responses
from "an organised opposition campaign"?
- paragraph 11. That's your democratic contribution right there
- "another thing to lose". As if we're not losing enough here
- why Liberty isn't
- EU targeting "large scale privacy outfits" too
>> ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
Arnie's response to sexual harassment claims - "Bring on der
dancing girls!": http://www.ntk.net/2003/11/14/dohrevue.gif
... kids today, eh?: http://www.ntk.net/2003/11/14/dohlit.gif
... that "Army macho" culture goes a little further than you
thought: http://www.ntk.net/2003/11/14/dohbum.gif (actually
one of those expressions that means something different in the
... meanwhile, "Inclarity" telco offers global net "foaming":
... old thrill revisited - return of Widdecombe of the Week:
banner ads: http://www.ntk.net/2003/11/14/dohsquat.gif staying
nice and morbid: http://www.ntk.net/2003/11/14/dohdrown.gif
... "War On Terror" apparently having the exact opposite of
intended effect: http://www.ntk.net/2003/11/14/dohscare.gif ,
>> EVENT QUEUE <<
goto's considered non-harmful
Assuming you're not busy helping Tim Ireland create a site
where you can SMS pictures of your arse to George Bush (or
should that be the other way round?), hopefully you haven't
already missed too much of the DMZ MEDIA ARTS FESTIVAL (11am-
6pm, today and Saturday 2003-11-14 & 15, Limehouse Town Hall,
London E14, free) featuring a wide range of usual suspects
such as MUTE MAGAZINE, CONSUME.NET and no doubt a couple of
wireless psychogeographic film-making co-operatives based in
Hoxton and Eastern Europe. And if you're looking for a few
quirky Xmas gift ideas, maybe Thomson & Craighead will bring
along some of their Google tea-towels, "Teach Birds 2 Sing"
ringtone CDs, or Walkmans fitted with endless play cassettes
of genuine mobile phone conversations from the mid 1990s.
- vs http://www.stopwar.org.uk/ (not literally!)
- for that, you could buy everyone in the UK an ID card
- not making this up: http://www.dot-store.com/system/http://www.uklanparty.com/
- tomorrow: all-day (free?) LAN party in Luton pub
- advance warning of another bunker bash at the end of Jan
>> TRACKING <<
sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering
Good Ideas To Steal From MacOS X Applications, No. 443:
VOODOOPAD is another app that wins by flipping the
runs-on-server/runs-on-desktop bit. It's a local Wiki
masquerading as a free-form database. You type, and
WikiInterCapped words are automatically turned into links to
fresh pages. Images and links can be dropped into the text;
unicode is supported. And in case you still crave the wilds
of the Web, it can also act as a responsive frontend for
wikis that support author Gus Mueller's simple XMLRPC wiki
API. Oh, and you can dump all your thoughts to HTML - or an
iPod, should you be so freaky.
- $20! You pay $20!
- it won an award and yet still does not suck
>> MEMEPOOL <<
contains a source of http://snackspot.org/ now *we* want some of that Britney "has a level 14 Cleric"
... ftp://www.japan.steinberg.net/ tagged - you're it... you
know you've "arrived" when: http://lordrich.newmail.ru/ican/
(and is the original hosted under www.bbc.co.uk/dna/ because
it's "mostly harmless"?)... don't want to know what they're up
to here: http://www.ntk.net/2003/11/14/dohgrif.gif ... "These
BOFH stickers on my monitor? Well, they each signify one of my
'support kills'": http://www.ntk.net/2003/09/12/dohbofh.gif
... caution - one of these pics is not safe for work like the
... (comparatively) new thrill - amusingly (in)appropriate
GOOGLE TEXT ADS: http://www.ntk.net/2003/11/14/dohshuck.gif
... http://www.google.com/search?q=bluejacking - "Did you mean
'barebacking'?" (now *that* would surprise a stranger)...
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
get out less
TV>> it's not clear whether it's the collision detection, the
level design, or the terrible cheerleader non-choreography
that really lets down CGI would-be "Robot Wars" FIGHTBOX (7pm,
Fri, BBC2)... what if Robin Ince and resident Friday Thing
Photoshop-wiz Charlie Skelton were the "real" victims of
extended "Gotcha Oscar" format THE PILOT SHOW? (11.15pm, Fri,
C4)... and implausible-odyssey fan Ray Mears apologises for
the Monster-Manual-meets-road-movie structure of THE BIG READ:
THE LORD OF THE RINGS (9.15pm, Sat, BBC2)... at least it's
Miranda Sawyer - and not, say, Jonathan King - explaining SEX
BEFORE 16: WHY THE LAW IS FAILING (9pm, Sun, C4)... part of an
"Adult at 14" season that also includes *another* "The Real
Lord Of The Flies" reality show 14 ALONE (9pm, Tue, C4), plus
web filth roundup KIDS ON PORN (10.40pm, Tue, C4)... though
note that it's a pesky 17 year-old who shoots his parents then
claims THE MATRIX DEFENCE (10.40pm, Wed, C4) - presumably that
the act was entirely justified if we live in a VR illusion:
... yes, you can laugh at the weirdoes in CHILD PRODIGIES
(9.30pm, Wed, BBC2) - but really you're chuckling at yourself
...speaking of which, Joel "rathergood.com" Veitch's cult
Flash animations "are intercut with memorable music videos" in
RATHER GOOD VIDEOS (1.50am, Wed, C4)... then HORIZON (9pm,
Thu, BBC2) shouldn't have too many problems poking holes in
the statistical coincidences that make up "The Bible Code":
FILM>> lots of staggered-release schedules right now, which
means you've got more chance of previewing Will "Old School"
Ferrell in what the posters imply is a film called ELF JAMES
CAAN ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/elf.htm : Christmas
without Jesus; repeated display of provocative women's
underwear, once in an implication of perversion)... compared
to Robert Downey Jr/ Katie Holmes intertextual musical itcher
THE SINGING DETECTIVE (imdb: based-on-tv-series/ remake)...
the closest thing to a national release is Jackie Chan/ Lee
Evans CGI-heavy "Indiana Jones"-lite actioner THE MEDALLION
( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2003/the_medallion.html :
[Chan] and [Claire "Press Gang" Forlani] do some brief
passionate kissing; comedic and misinterpretation-based
homosexual innuendo)... otherwise at least you get a choice
of older women living it up in LA arthouse romp LAUREL CANYON
( http://www.cndb.com/movie.html?title=Laurel+Canyon+%282003%29 :
Kate [Beckinsale] has more exposure in this movie then
anything she has done in 4-5 years)... or London comedy THE
MOTHER ( http://www.cndb.com/movie.html?title=Mother%2C+The :
Born 1935 Anne ["Dinnerladies"] Reid, in the title role, has
two sex scenes with a young carpenter in which she's naked,
but largely concealed by fancy editing)...
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
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