_ _ _____ _ __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the uk>
| \ | |_ _| |/ / _ __ __2003-10-03_ o join! sign up at
| \| | | | | ' / | '_ \ / _ \ \ /\ / / o http://lists.ntk.net/
| |\ | | | | . \ | | | | (_) \ v v / o website (+ archive) lives at:
|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\|_| |_|\___/ \_/\_/ o http://www.ntk.net/ "Downloading MP3 music files, something which works best on a
high-speed connection, scares many..."
- Britons "still scared" of computers, the net, loud sounds,
shiny objects, reports BBC
...magic pixie music coming out of nowhere? 'Tis the devil's work, I tell ye!
>> HARD NEWS <<
And so, the two clumsiest Godzillas of the Net stumble
toward each other, grappling at air, roaring at onlookers,
breathing steam and farting writs. VERISIGN and ICANN are
now at war. Unless Verisign drops the SiteFinder service,
ICANN says, by 2AM tomorrow, the Internet Corporation for
Assigned Names and Numbers will start assigning far dirtier
names for Verisign than hithertofore. Gather the popcorn!
Will Verisign blink? And will ICANN finally go after the
other egregious sliminess that Verisign is indulging in
(latest trick: "next registration rights" - or bribe
Verisign to hoard expired domaines for you)? And will anyone
notice that the supposedly technically competent Verisign
can't even get a simple "reverse turning test" right? As NTK
subscriber JEREMY SMITH spotted: take a look at the
distorted characters that Verisign throw up when you try to
do a Web-based whois on their site. Notice anything? Like
they're not *actually* distorted in any way? That they'd be
easily amenable to a simple, non-OCR check? What, are they
too stingy to buy in and test third-party captcha kit? Is it
*all* marketing these days?
- if you get host not found, you'll know it's war
- you want the source? you can't handle the source!
Quick followup on the GOLDFISH phishing-expedition-that-wasn't
of a couple of weeks ago: thanks to all the consumer-security
enthusiasts who wrote in to point out, instead of their
tentative request for just the "Last nine digits of your
Goldfish Card number", they might as well have asked for the
whole thing, as the first few digits encode the card type and
issuing bank, which would therefore be the same for all
Goldfish Visa cards. And commiserations to the couple of
sticklers for detail who pointed out that, although the site's
front page is not SSL'd, the page it sends your data to is
(reassuringly certified, not by Goldfish, but "Donhost Ltd").
Though we can't imagine they're advocating that consumers
should either check the source for the <form ACTION=...> tag,
or just blithely type their credit card details into any non-
https page, on the tacit understanding that they'll be safely
encrypted on the other side?
- site still up, reassuringly
- or just its last 9 digits, whichever's easier
And another update on software patents: apparently the Brit
LibDems are as confused as we are as to why their European
counterparts voted for software patents. That's not what
they were supposed to do *at all*. Oooh-ooh. Somebody's in
trouble. To prevent having you wish we'd shut down in
protest after all, we're going to give this topic a rest for
a few weeks. But if you want to get your letter to your MP
in early, FFII has all the details:
- stop the minister from okaying software patents
>> ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
that's not "blood thinning compound" - that's Hickory Barbeque
Seasoning!: http://www.ntk.net/2003/10/03/dohcjd.gif ... want
beans with that? http://www.ntk.net/2003/10/03/dohfart.gif ...
Why indeed?: http://www.ntk.net/2003/10/03/dohrec.gif ... Oz
not *that* big: http://www.ntk.net/2003/10/03/dohplanet.gif ...
missing billions - Italy invests in enough power to run 60W
lightbulb: http://www.ntk.net/2003/10/03/dohmilli.gif ... this
week's MASTERS OF WEB DESIGN: http://www.philiprknixon.com/,
http://www.davidbrucerecruitment.co.uk/ ... badly rendered
scenery fools everyone by claiming it's a "live webcam":
http://www.picomirador.com/ ... and time of the month for:
+ http://www.google.com/search?q=private+%22jessica+lunch%22 ,
"towel of babel", "underling problem", "secretarian violence",
"attention to detial", "goose bums"...
>> EVENT QUEUE <<
goto's considered non-harmful
Presumably in the hope that they might have some interesting
views to contribute (and/or be behind on their webcasting
royalties), a mystery benefactor has "set aside" 6 places for
NTK readers at the upcoming MUSIC-ALLY COMPULSORY LICENSING
SEMINAR (6pm, Thu 2003-10-16, Denton Wilde Sapte, 1 Fleet
Place, London EC4M, free but RSVP to events@MusicAlly.com with
NTK in the subject line). Speakers include ex-Geffen Records
exec JIM GRIFFIN, whose "flat fee" pseudo-P2P position seems
to advocate a middle ground between free file-swapping and the
media companies' total clampdown, so you might want to ask:
How about no download fees at all? That flat enough for you?
- see also http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/33133.htmlhttp://brumcon.org/
- tomorrow's top-secret Brum 2600 Brumcon details in full
- next Wed/ Thu's www.linuxexpo.co.uk running on NT4/ Win 98
>> TRACKING <<
sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering
It's not that this ASCII/EDIT is available for the Unixy,
Mac-y MacOS X, it's that it took this long: it's a WYSIWIG
editor for text diagrams. AE isn't quite the perfect meld of
Unix and Mac sensibilities yet: there's no built-in figlet
support, it doesn't get L shapes right (they should look
like this: | or .-- - and it should probably let you import
or pipe '-- | command line text a little more easily.
But, you know, anything that cuts down on the old HTML mail.
- for you, 10 euro
>> MEMEPOOL <<
contains a source of http://snackspot.org/ throw 3d6 for hobbies: http://www.jofs.net/cv/cv.asp ... SMIRNOFF
"lyriquid perfection" ads cruelly ape symptoms of neologistic
jargon aphasia: http://www.d.umn.edu/~mmizuko/2230/sym.htm ...
however Nyarlathotep still hireable for weddings, bar mitzvahs:
http://www.kdl.to/gallery/octopus.jpg ... RIP www.leisuretown.com
... OMFG++ : http://devney.net/~matthew/paste ... geodogging ...
quit talking about us: http://www.intel.com/intel/legal/third2.htm
... a bit worrying: http://life.csu.edu.au/discontinued.html ...
- the coffeestains of dooooooooooom ... war dating ... well, no
surprises here: http://tv.cream.org/top100films/ ... gftd -
or rtrd? http://www.gftd.org/ ... where you can at last admit your
liking for "Dune": http://www.popmates.co.uk/ ... permission wiki-
ing: http://3d17.org ... or has it? http://www.ppsw.rug.nl/cov/ >> GEEK MEDIA <<
get out less
TV>> GREATEST MILITARY CLASHES (8pm, Fri, C5) revisits the
"Sabre vs MiG-15" episode of "Battle Stations" shown on C4
this January - MiG much better on paper, as it turns out...
Geri Halliwell and David Duchovny guest in the pen-penultimate
episode of SEX AND THE CITY (10pm, Fri, C4), the latter
hopefully reprising his gay cameo from "The Larry Sanders
Show"... and SHELDON SOUTHWORTH claims his "147 Lockdown"
remix http://www.diffusiononline.net/ will be the official
theme to the SNOOKER (from 6pm, Sat, BBC2) "for the next 2
years"... CHARLOTTE LATIMER argues that Derren Brown, unlike
Uri Geller http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02003-02-28&l=155#l ,
"makes no claims to any 'powers' whatsoever", though if he
*was* using sleight of hand or something, that'd kind of take
the edge off his RUSSIAN ROULETTE "LIVE" (9pm, Sun, C4)...
part of an weekend of controversial apparent suicides that
also features that euthanasia-promoting band in Florida
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3160180.stm , plus
DEATH OF A SCIENTIST: THE DAVID KELLY AFFAIR (8pm, Sun, C4)...
anyway, it's all over in time for the brilliantly bonkers
Michael Bay "Miami Vice" homage BAD BOYS (10.05pm, Sun, C5)...
"the history of video games" is a specialist subject on
MASTERMIND (8pm, Mon, BBC2)... Kevin Smith's DOGMA (10pm, Mon,
C4) provoked widespread criticism from Catholics, movie fans
... and it's JG Ballard week on BBC4, featuring adaptations of
HOME (10pm, Mon, BBC4), THIRTEEN TO CENTAURUS (12.10am, Mon,
BBC4) and LOW FLYING AIRCRAFT, in Portugese (10.30pm, Tue,
BBC4)... in an ideal world, they'd use a SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
(10pm, Wed, C5) subterranean dungeon to probe the MIND OF A
MILLIONAIRE (9pm, Tue, BBC2) - or even A VERY BRITISH UFO HOAX
(10pm, Tue, C4)... we did get complaints last time we reviewed
Jim Carrey split-personality gross-out ME MYSELF AND IRENE
http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02000-09-22&l=229#l (9pm, Wed,
ITV)... and it appears to be a fine line - in titles at least
- between New York club murder tragedy PARTY MONSTER (12.15am,
Wed, C4) and UK event arranger PARTY MAESTRO (9pm, Wed, BBC2)...
FILM>> not as focused as the original, though they've kept the
uneasy comedy bits to break up the nicely shot car chases in
BAD BOYS II ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/badboysii.htm :
2.5 hours of murder madness; revealing swimwear; mockery of
Jesus and faith; attempted cheapening of Jesus)... a slightly
less confrontational portrayal of Cuba and its people comes
courtesy of Oliver Stone in his Louis Theroux-style Castro
profile COMANDANTE ( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : Contains archive
footage of victims of conflict)... Stephen Fry provides a more
palatable portrayal of quirky Englishness in period Waugh
adaptation BRIGHT YOUNG THINGS ( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ :
Contains drug references and use), at least compared to ill-
judged Ewan McGregor/ Renee Zellweger/ David Hyde Pierce
anachronism-packed '50s-esque screwball romance DOWN WITH LOVE
( http://www.cndb.com/movie.html?title=Down+With+Love+-+Premiere+%282003%29 :
[Petra Nemcova] has a gigantic wedge of fabric cut out of the
front of her blouse and no bra)... or you've got your work cut
out for you tracking down anywhere showing hotly-unawaited Rob
"White" Zombie schlock-horror "tribute" HOUSE OF 1,000 CORPSES
( http://www.cndb.com/movie.html?title=House+of+1%2C000+Corpses :
as a rule people would be making a mistake if they watched
this movie expecting to get aroused)...
CONFECTIONERY THEORY>> and it's been slightly quieter over at
http://www.snackspot.org/ now the kids have gone back to
school - quiet, that is, until chocolatereview.co.uk webmaster
CHOCCIEMAN got back from the supermarket laden with this
year's selection box of Christmas treats. NESTLE KIT KAT KUBES
(39p), NESTLE ORANGE AFTER EIGHTS (UKP2.39), MARS WINTER
EDITION WHITE MALTESERS (about 45p), and TERRY'S CHOCOLATE
ORANGE SEGSATIONS (UKP3.49) are all currently the subject of
intense discussion, though the surprise debating topic of the
moment remains "CADBURY'S FLAKE DIPPED - Does it really taste
any different to Cadbury's Dairy Milk or Cadbury's Twirl?":
other recent highlights have included: QUAKER/ WALKER'S SNACK-
A-JACK SPUDZ (79p, an improvement on Snack-a-Jacks, still not
as nice as crisps); the last - and one of the best? - of
Wall's Magnum Sins, VANITY (UKP1.30, TV ad sounds a bit like
the theme from "Halo"); plus LUCOZADE CITRUS CLEAR (59p, "Not
appropriate for replacing the fluid lost during diarrhoea")...
future fun to look out for includes VIRGIN SOUR drinks (59p),
WALKERS SENSATIONS NUT CLUSTERS (in Chilli Spice, Cream and
Onion, Cool Tomato Salsa), KELLOGG'S SCREAMIN' FRUIT SPURTERS
(not to be confused with their current "Screamin' Fruit
Squidgers", natch), plus the intriguing new trend of sticking
Haribo jelly items inside other products, as in both TESCO'S
HARIBO JELLY BEAN COOKIE (98p/ bag of 5) and Austria's yummy
sounding NESTLE FRUITY SMARTIES MIT DEM HARIBO GOLDBARENKERN
(literally, "Fruity Smarties with the Haribo Gold Bear Core"):
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
Registered at the Post Office as
NEED TO KNOW
THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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