__  __ _2003-07-11   _________  __
 |  \/  (_)_ __ (_) \ | |_   _| |/ /    o Subscribe via the beauty of
 | |\/| | | '_ \| |  \| | | | | ' /     o   http://lists.ntk.net/
 | |  | | | | | | | |\  | | | | . \     o Website (+ archive) lives at:
 |_|  |_|_|_| |_|_|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\    o      http://www.ntk.net/

         "When we were doing the research to build the school of the
         future we looked at swipe cards or fingerprinting, but there
         are many civil liberties with the latter issue."
         http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wear/3056162.stm
 - that headmaster who is introducing eye-scanners for school lunches
   ... always best to minimise the civil liberties as far as possible

    [ We're still on holiday. Actually, more on holiday than
    expected, as Dave seems to have disappeared. I'm assuming this
    isn't due to cyberassassin "copycats" under the undue influence
    of Terminator 3. But, you know, that'll be crime theory number
    one if I don't hear back soon. Also, it's my birthday today,
    which I'm spending writing apologies to all those who wrote to
    thank us for typing in the NTK subscriber list by hand last week.
    we didn't; it was a schoolboy joke that went a bit too far.
    Sorry.  I *will* be writing all those apologies by hand though.
    On my birthday. In blood. ]


                             >> SEMI-HARD NEWS <<
                            use strict; use booze;

         This year's OPEN SOURCE CONFERENCE was like a live-action
         role-playing game set in the Freshmeat universe. Situated in
         the daylight-free cellars of the Portland Marriott, every
         room and BOF had its own class library or module to defend
         and trollish perl hackers and nigh-invisible Ruby wraiths
         flew through the corridors, pick-pocketing ideas from each
         other, while fine upstanding clerics with dutch accents
         waved Python at them to exorcise the bad magic away.
         Highlights: a Perl lightning talk that consisted of a rap
         version of "these are a few of my favourite CPAN modules"
         *in Japanese*; a rather wistful Larry Wall, recovering from
         Perl6 ulcers, noting that he's devoted much of his mortgage
         to hacking the new language; Brian Ingerson ruefully
         confessing that maybe he wants to get out of this whole wiki
         business, after his Kwiki project took over most attendees
         like a brain slug.  And the London Perl Mongers yelping with
         cockney rhyming delight when it was announced that the
         Perl5-on-Parrot language is to be called "Ponie" - and
         becoming almost catatonic with glee when they pursuaded
         Larry Wall to say "I need a Ponie" in his State of the Onion
         address. That's all very well - but has anyone explained to
         the Americans what "monger" means in British slang?
         http://www.odps.cyberscriber.com/slangm.html
                                                       - see "Menner"
         http://oscon.kwiki.org/
                                        - software that's too damn social


                             >> TINY ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         antispam letter actually reads like spam, down to mispelling
         of "pornorgraphy" http://www.endspam.org.uk/contact-mp.html ...
         world's worst store locator: http://www.roofbox.co.uk/store.html ...
         stats widdecombe (hit ctrl-r a few times) http://www.xsls.com/?521
         ... calling it a headline already feels a little inappropriate:
         www.ntk.net/2003/07/11/dohhead.jpg ... see why they have an opening:
         http://www.surrey.police.uk/careersitem.asp?jobid=3 ...  13 (f)
         is a toughy: http://www2.amd.com/us-en/gcab/lt/exam/1,,,00.html ...
         military use secret methods to gain 32 hours in a day:
 http://infocom.cqu.edu.au/Units/aut2000/85321/Resources/Lectures/2000/14/2/
         ... harsh but fair http://images.google.com/images?q=aging+wrestlers


                               >> EVENT QUEUE <<
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         Sick of all the hype? Then why not mentally search-and-replace
         the fancy high-tech term "weblog" with a more down-to-earth
         equivalent - "soapbox", for example - every time you hear
         someone using it. For instance: VoxPolitics would now be
         holding a seminar entitled CAN SOAPBOXES CHANGE POLITICS?
         (7pm, Mon 2003-07-14, Grand Committee Room, House of Commons,
         free but RSVP), noting that several British MPs now broadcast
         their opinions from soapboxes of their own, and perpetuating
         the myth that some US soapboxes are so influential that they
         actually affect events in the real world - just as Ben Elton's
         relentlessly scathing commentaries are widely regarded to have
         brought about the ultimate downfall of Margaret Thatcher.
         http://www.voxpolitics.com/weblog/archives/000305.html#000305
                - featuring Tom "Yo Teens" Watson (Labour, West Brom)
         http://www.ojr.org/ojr/glaser/1055282466.php
                                  - "hobby horse" also seems to do it


                                >> TRACKING <<
               sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering

         Using the FRAMEWORK FOR INTEGRATED TEST is the closest mere
         mortals get to being inside Ward Cunningham's brain. Here's
         how it works: FIT is a unit testing program that can parse
         HTML tables. The first column (say) of the HTML table has a
         function to be called, the second column has an expected
         result. You have a big pile of these tests, all in the same
         table. This tester program outputs in HTML, adding a third
         column: the actual result. Here's the smart part: you run
         this program as a CGI script, and it gets its HTML tables
         from the referrer Webpage. You put those test tables on a
         Wiki, so you can change and tweak them, and you put a link
         to your tester CGI at the bottom. When you want to run your
         tests, you bounce on the CGI submit button. When you want to
         edit or add to your tests, you edit your wiki. Your tests
         live in HTML, and can gradually morph into documentation.
         Your users can write their own tests. Bug reporters can add
         tests that fail. Installed versions of your work can grab
         the latest tests from your Website. Your test suite can sit
         somewhere else - on a different server, and be written in
         different languages (there are FIT CGI implementations in
         Java, C#, Perl, Python, Ruby and Lisp). It's such a simple
         idea, you'll slap yourself in the seconds before your brain
         melts entirely at the possibilities.
         http://fit.c2.com/wiki.cgi?WhatsWhat
                                      - something of a starting point
         http://fit.c2.com/
                                      - less than 750 lines of Python


                              >> MINI-MEMEPOOL <<
                ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/

         we think they're covering up something: http://tinyurl.com/gomd
         ... automated irc humour: http://www.jibble.org/montyquotes.php
         ...  http://ukcdr.org/issues/cd/retail/20030707-amazon.txt versus
         http://ukcdr.org/issues/cd/retail/20030707-eliza.txt ... for our
         London readers: http://www.livejournal.com/users/oichurchill/364.html
         ...  http://images.google.com/images?q=DCP_0001.JPG (also
         CP_0001.JPG, IMG_0001.JPG, DSC0000001.JPG, etc.) ... inevitably,
         alt.fan.harry-potter.creative ... and what mail does a spammer get?
         http://www.cyberangels.nl/evidence/mailfile.html ...


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
                       Registered at the Post Office as
              remembering to "pick a dataset/template that is extremely
              dull and wouldn't make news in NTK should anyone ever
              guess the URL" - BBC internal in-situ testing guidelines

                                 NEED TO KNOW
            THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
                         Archive - http://www.ntk.net/
                       Unsubscribe? Ah, well, you see...
           Subscribe? The thing is: could you wait until next week?
 NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntkmart.com/

                          (K) 2003 Special Projects.
             Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/
         Full license at: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/1.0

                    Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com
             All communication is for publication, unless you beg.
              Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com
     Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material.
       Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention.
              Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.