Need To Know 2003-07-11

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"When we were doing the research to build the school of the future we looked at swipe cards or fingerprinting, but there are many civil liberties with the latter issue." http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wear/3056162.stm - that headmaster who is introducing eye-scanners for school lunches ... always best to minimise the civil liberties as far as possible [ We're still on holiday. Actually, more on holiday than expected, as Dave seems to have disappeared. I'm assuming this isn't due to cyberassassin "copycats" under the undue influence of Terminator 3. But, you know, that'll be crime theory number one if I don't hear back soon. Also, it's my birthday today, which I'm spending writing apologies to all those who wrote to thank us for typing in the NTK subscriber list by hand last week. we didn't; it was a schoolboy joke that went a bit too far. Sorry. I *will* be writing all those apologies by hand though. On my birthday. In blood. ] >> SEMI-HARD NEWS << use strict; use booze; This year's OPEN SOURCE CONFERENCE was like a live-action role-playing game set in the Freshmeat universe. Situated in the daylight-free cellars of the Portland Marriott, every room and BOF had its own class library or module to defend and trollish perl hackers and nigh-invisible Ruby wraiths flew through the corridors, pick-pocketing ideas from each other, while fine upstanding clerics with dutch accents waved Python at them to exorcise the bad magic away. Highlights: a Perl lightning talk that consisted of a rap version of "these are a few of my favourite CPAN modules" *in Japanese*; a rather wistful Larry Wall, recovering from Perl6 ulcers, noting that he's devoted much of his mortgage to hacking the new language; Brian Ingerson ruefully confessing that maybe he wants to get out of this whole wiki business, after his Kwiki project took over most attendees like a brain slug. And the London Perl Mongers yelping with cockney rhyming delight when it was announced that the Perl5-on-Parrot language is to be called "Ponie" - and becoming almost catatonic with glee when they pursuaded Larry Wall to say "I need a Ponie" in his State of the Onion address. That's all very well - but has anyone explained to the Americans what "monger" means in British slang? http://www.odps.cyberscriber.com/slangm.html - see "Menner" http://oscon.kwiki.org/ - software that's too damn social >> TINY ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious antispam letter actually reads like spam, down to mispelling of "pornorgraphy" http://www.endspam.org.uk/contact-mp.html ... world's worst store locator: http://www.roofbox.co.uk/store.html ... stats widdecombe (hit ctrl-r a few times) http://www.xsls.com/?521 ... calling it a headline already feels a little inappropriate: www.ntk.net/2003/07/11/dohhead.jpg ... see why they have an opening: http://www.surrey.police.uk/careersitem.asp?jobid=3 ... 13 (f) is a toughy: http://www2.amd.com/us-en/gcab/lt/exam/1,,,00.html ... military use secret methods to gain 32 hours in a day: http://infocom.cqu.edu.au/Units/aut2000/85321/Resources/Lectures/2000/14/2/ ... harsh but fair http://images.google.com/images?q=aging+wrestlers >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful Sick of all the hype? Then why not mentally search-and-replace the fancy high-tech term "weblog" with a more down-to-earth equivalent - "soapbox", for example - every time you hear someone using it. For instance: VoxPolitics would now be holding a seminar entitled CAN SOAPBOXES CHANGE POLITICS? (7pm, Mon 2003-07-14, Grand Committee Room, House of Commons, free but RSVP), noting that several British MPs now broadcast their opinions from soapboxes of their own, and perpetuating the myth that some US soapboxes are so influential that they actually affect events in the real world - just as Ben Elton's relentlessly scathing commentaries are widely regarded to have brought about the ultimate downfall of Margaret Thatcher. http://www.voxpolitics.com/weblog/archives/000305.html#000305 - featuring Tom "Yo Teens" Watson (Labour, West Brom) http://www.ojr.org/ojr/glaser/1055282466.php - "hobby horse" also seems to do it >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering Using the FRAMEWORK FOR INTEGRATED TEST is the closest mere mortals get to being inside Ward Cunningham's brain. Here's how it works: FIT is a unit testing program that can parse HTML tables. The first column (say) of the HTML table has a function to be called, the second column has an expected result. You have a big pile of these tests, all in the same table. This tester program outputs in HTML, adding a third column: the actual result. Here's the smart part: you run this program as a CGI script, and it gets its HTML tables from the referrer Webpage. You put those test tables on a Wiki, so you can change and tweak them, and you put a link to your tester CGI at the bottom. When you want to run your tests, you bounce on the CGI submit button. When you want to edit or add to your tests, you edit your wiki. Your tests live in HTML, and can gradually morph into documentation. Your users can write their own tests. Bug reporters can add tests that fail. Installed versions of your work can grab the latest tests from your Website. Your test suite can sit somewhere else - on a different server, and be written in different languages (there are FIT CGI implementations in Java, C#, Perl, Python, Ruby and Lisp). It's such a simple idea, you'll slap yourself in the seconds before your brain melts entirely at the possibilities. http://fit.c2.com/wiki.cgi?WhatsWhat - something of a starting point http://fit.c2.com/ - less than 750 lines of Python >> MINI-MEMEPOOL << ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ we think they're covering up something: http://tinyurl.com/gomd ... automated irc humour: http://www.jibble.org/montyquotes.php ... http://ukcdr.org/issues/cd/retail/20030707-amazon.txt versus http://ukcdr.org/issues/cd/retail/20030707-eliza.txt ... for our London readers: http://www.livejournal.com/users/oichurchill/364.html ... http://images.google.com/images?q=DCP_0001.JPG (also CP_0001.JPG, IMG_0001.JPG, DSC0000001.JPG, etc.) ... inevitably, alt.fan.harry-potter.creative ... and what mail does a spammer get? http://www.cyberangels.nl/evidence/mailfile.html ... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as remembering to "pick a dataset/template that is extremely dull and wouldn't make news in NTK should anyone ever guess the URL" - BBC internal in-situ testing guidelines NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Ah, well, you see... Subscribe? The thing is: could you wait until next week? NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntkmart.com/ (K) 2003 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Full license at: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/1.0 Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. 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