Need To Know 2003-02-28

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"If a teacher doesn't know the answer to a question, it is important to acknowledge this, and to suggest that the pupil or teacher *or both together* research the question later." [our emphasis] - BBC News posits alternative to sex lessons that "go too far" http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/2787491.stm >> HARD NEWS << defending "fair use" Wednesday, and the BBC Today programme's Stephen Evans files a shock exclusive revealing how European politicians pirated popular music - by refusing to raise the duration of copyright beyond fifty years. The piece, a barely concealed plug for EMI's attempts to get Euro copyright limits upped to the 95 years of the recent US, was shocking and exclusive only in the sense of being shockingly exclusive to one side of the story. Evans, most famous for being that BBC correspondent in the WTC on September 11th, commiserated with EMI that their hard-earned 1950s properties might be finally be free for everyone to enjoy via the criminal practices of the public domain and European law. "Why should companies invest big money now to record the classics of tomorrow if they *can't keep the profits they make*?" he pondered. Even Laughing Larry Lessig - prompted by the righteous hordes of the Brass Eye mailing list - chipped in to marvel at the bias of the show. You'd think that the Todayians would know that there might be at least some controversy on the topic - especially when their own higher-ups are talking to Lessig about reforming the BBC's own copyrights to be a bit more public domain friendly. Less of the nation speaking unto nation: maybe the BBC's left hand could have a word with the right? http://brass.cream.org/brass2.cgi?mail=02:3217-117&year=103&month=02&day=26 - parody is protected! http://brass.cream.org/brass2.cgi?mail=02:3240-140&year=103&month=02&day=26 - representing my client, one Mr ThePolyphonicMe http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/audio/38879000/rm/_38879607_copyright08_evans.ram - another open invitation to samplers everywhere NTK has always had a soft spot for librarians, their championing of public access to information in the face of restrictive copyrights making them the dead-tree warez d00ds of the pre-digital era. But even we aren't entirely sure about CHRIS MOLE MP's "Legal Deposit Libraries Bill", due for its second Commons reading in around two weeks' time. At the moment, copies of all printed material published in the UK should be handed over to the British Library and 5 other "copyright deposit" libraries around the country. According to this week's NEW MEDIA AGE, Chris wants this extended to cover certain "classes" of electronic publications as well, possibly including CD-ROMs, websites, and that really embarrassing home page you did back in 1996 that you can no longer remember the password to. "Many details are still undecided," New Media Age notes, dryly, "including what should be captured and stored, how it should be done and who would pay". Well, if it means creating a sister site to something like www.archive.org then, hey, we're all for it. Alternatively, as our own correspondent observes, it could just be a useful place "to send all your offsite backup tapes". http://www.bl.uk/news/webcase.html - inexplicably overlooks Spectrum .SNA files. And SNES ROMs. >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious for all of you who read Winnie The Pooh magazine "for the articles": http://www.ntk.net/2003/02/28/dohpooh.gif ... never mind "President Bill Cliton", time for PUERILE GOOGLE OCR ARTEFACTS: http://www.google.com/search?&q=%22bum+wounds%22 , rally driver "richard bums", popular typo "noteboob", plus: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22elegant+memo%22 to self - use standard Word template to trumpet triumph over Microsoft: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22elegant+memo%22+tmln ... not too many surprises as to what EBAY auctions are full of: http://search.ebay.co.uk/search/search.dll?query=shit ... CNN hedging bets: http://americanpolitics.com/20030222letter.html ... BBC catering to connoisseurs of specialist boat filth: http://www.ntk.net/2003/02/28/dohpron.gif ... RUMSFELD tries on his gimp suit: http://www.ntk.net/2003/02/28/dohrum.gif ... FT predicts - a year from now, we'll all look back at this and see the funny side: http://www.ntk.net/2003/02/28/dohft.gif ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful An annual reminder to all of us that science can be used for both good *and* evil: the main innovation of next week's 9-day NATIONAL SCIENCE WEEK (from Fri 2003-03-07, various prices and venues) appears to be THE IG NOBEL PRIZE TOUR. Recognising results "that cannot or should not be reproduced", Annals Of Improbable Research editor MARC ABRAHAMS and "some" of the winners will be attempting to replicate the success of their US shows in a variety of locations around the UK - London, Manchester, Leicester, Edinburgh, Bristol and possibly Oxford, tickets UKP5. A similarly empirical enthusiasm infuses I COULD DO BETTER THAN THAT night at sometime KLF hangout The Foundry (from 7pm, Thu 2003-03-06, 84 Great Eastern St, London EC2, free), featuring two "musicians' tag-team open mic" jamming sessions (an analogue synth, 6-string electric guitar, and Rebirth laptop are provided), each 23 minutes long. And, perhaps taking a leaf out of the "free personality test" offered by the Scientologists on Tottenham Court Road, THE GREATER LONDON LINUX USER GROUP will hopefully be handing out leaflets to promote their MARCH INSTALL FEST (from 12noon, tomorrow 2003-03-01, New Cavendish Street campus, Westminster University, free), whose site promises talks, demos, and "some of the latest iso images" - though, disappointingly no update on the stock levels of all the local vending machines. http://www.britassoc.org.uk/the-ba/page.asp?selectPage=474 - do a "free keyword search" for "Ig Nobel" https://www.the-ba.net/secure/ignobeltour.asp - vs http://www.thes.co.uk/competition/ http://gllug.linux.co.uk/installfest-20030301.html - "Are YOU only using 10% of your PC's full potential?" http://www.foundry.tv/ - unsurprisingly baffling >> MEMEPOOL << ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ bored of http://www.idlewords.com/biological.html spoofs? try: http://www.bengarvey.com/pn_714/html/?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=92 ... Feds "have no idea" where commissioner heard of detention camps: http://www.kxly.com/common/getStory.asp?id=26857 - forced to assume he doesn't have access to either Google: http://www.google.com/search?q=fema+camps , or STEVE MANN: http://www.ottawaxpress.ca/magazine/?id=752&parution=1001 (re: second half of interview)... how other countries see the UK: http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=story_21-2-2003_pg9_7 ... slow news week in Wales again - 17-year-old CHARLOTTE CHURCH would make "ideal candidate" for learning to drive, owning car: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/2785765.stm ... wishing you - and your scattered component parts - a speedy recovery: http://chandra.harvard.edu/cards/getwell.html - vs "The Fiery Phoenix!": http://www.pearl-jam.com/botp/botpfire.jpg ... http://www.dfat.gov.au/zw-cgi/view/TravelBulletins/Iraq_-_Human_Shields vs http://www.23rdian.org/TA/people.html ... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> Derren Brown falls foul of the "Geller paradox" - if his powers are so amazing, why can they only manifest themselves in the form of popular conjuring tricks? - in a new series of MIND CONTROL (10.35pm, Fri, C4)... Der Fuhrer's influence on both classic comedy and modern management are explored by CHAPLIN AND HITLER (9pm, Fri, BBC2) plus SECRETS OF LEADERSHIP (9pm, next Fri, BBC2)... and there's another chance to see the real-life "Look Around You" food education slot EVER WONDERED ABOUT - PIES? (11.30am, Sat, BBC2)... not sure what sort of "research" Pete Townshend required to exec-produce acclaimed kids' robot toon THE IRON GIANT (5.40pm, Sat, C5)... Saturday night sees BBC2 schedule NEWTON: THE DARK HERETIC (8.05pm, Sat) and the Lenny Bruce episode of MARK LAMARR'S STAND UP AMERICA (10.30pm, Sat) against BBC4's KING OF CAPITALISM: THOMAS WATSON SR AND THE BUILDING OF IBM (7.55pm, Sat) plus Spanish civil war horror THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE (9pm, Sat)... while C4 continues its commitment to distinctive, innovative programming with a nerd becoming a cheerleader in FAKING IT USA (10.40pm, Sat, C4)... Capalert memorably warned that 3- hour Stephen King prison kidney-infection weepie THE GREEN MILE (10pm, Sun, C4) contains "urination as entertainment" http://www.capalert.com/capreports/greenmile.htm ... C5 follows last week's C4 "Jackass: The Making Of The Movie" with THE MAKING OF JACKASS: THE MOVIE (11.30pm, Sun, C5)... and, in the wake of plebdazzle gameshow BOYS AND GIRLS (9.05pm, Sat, C4), C4 continues a week of behavioural dimorphism with Lord Of The Flies-on-the-wall documentaries BOYS ALONE UPDATE (11.05pm, Mon, C4) plus GIRLS ALONE (9pm, Tue, C4)... noted intellectuals Noel Gallagher and The Sugababes are among the celebs "duped" by OBLIVIOUS POPSTARS (9.30pm, Tue, ITV)... Charles Bronson is the original mean melon-farmer in MR MAJESTYK (12.05am, Tue, BBC2)... a white-haired black guy escapes from long-term incarceration to create havoc in both MANDELA - THE LIVING LEGEND (9pm, Wed, BBC1) and DEMOLITION MAN (9pm, Wed, C5)... and, after their mildly uncritical look at the role of the Bell Huey in Vietnam, expect a more upbeat interpretation of the Mogadishu extraction in the "Black Hawk" episode of History Channel/Hearst Corporation co-production BATTLE STATIONS (8pm, Thu, C4)... FILM>> as remakes go, it's better than "Sphere", but not as good as the original one or "Event Horizon", so don't go expecting too many explosions in '70s-style arthouse sci-fi SOLARIS ( http://www.cndb.com/movie.html?title=Solaris : the very lovely [Natascha] McElhone is seen from a distance slow dancing in a darkened room with husband George Clooney. Both their bare butts are seen but McElhone's is really only glimpsed) - not based on the Sun operating system of the same name... the "tortured artist" theme continues with startlingly brutal post-Tom-Green plot-free stuntfest JACKASS: THE MOVIE ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2002/jackass_the_movie.html : We partially see one of the guy's genitals through the material of his oversized underwear. We then see him and another guy humping a real (and large) whale shark under the water)... anguished aspiring screenwriters - like there's any other kind - appear to be the target demographic for tediously self-referential "Being John Malkovich" retread ADAPTATION ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2002/adaptation.html : We see [Maggie Gyllenhaal] in Charlie's house wearing just a t-shirt) ... and Salma "From Dusk Till Dawn, The Faculty" Hayek casts off a career of spectacular B-movies in artist portrait Oscar- bait FRIDA ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2002/frida.html : bisexuality; communism; a sensual and steamy lesbian encounter; the film could inspire some kids, particularly girls, to take up painting)... AD MUSIC FOR SIX PEOPLE>> First, an apology. Despite NTK 2002- 10-18's claims, the "Futurama"-resembling soundtrack to the lawnmower Coke ad was *not* "EVA" by Jean Jacques Perry (Fatboy Slim mix or otherwise) - MATTHEW PETTY was one of many to note (under the subject line "musique concret pedantry ahoy") that the tune in question was "actually Cook's remix of 'Psyche Rock' by Pierre Henry - another Gallic pioneer", and that EVA "was used on that Lucozade ad a few years back". In our defence, even engineer SIMON THORNTON, who mixed the track in the first place, initially confused the two, muttering: "That's not how we described it the first time we saw Futurama - do they not have Lucozade in the States?" Anyway, the howls of outrage prompted us to "retire" this entire section for several months until sufficient safeguards were in place to prevent such heinous misattributions from ever happening again... DAN PEARCE was, however, undeterred, and alleges that "the Neutrogena ad where some woman is in a boat for no discernible reason is a soundy-likey of top 90's dinner party fave Portishead's 'Glory Box'". And we agree, especially relishing the bit right at the end when the vocal suddenly gets going and then has to be immediately faded out again. Dan also confirmed our suspicions about the Beechams Cold Remedy one with lots of people "falling up", which used to have Elton John singing "I'm Still Standing", but now has a totally different tune which covers "similar lyrical ground", and sounds like Elton John is singing it "after completing about 2 days worth of 'Die Another Day'-style gene therapy in order to turn him into Phil Collins"... MARTIN LEWIS argued that the current "I Love Juice" Reef advert has "blatantly stolen" the Neptunes production off "that Britney song" (Slave 4U, we imagine), "but made it slightly shitter". But the originator of this entire feature, acclaimed docu-steampunk author TOM STANDAGE, trumped them all with his freakishly detailed sightings of a VH1 Sharwoods ad which featured "underwater tremolo guitars and a female voice, followed by a breakbeat with - dead giveaway this - a sawtooth-waveform analog synth bass". In other words, "It was very clearly a rip-off of the beginning of 'Fun for Me' by Moloko". The the defence rests, your honour... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "Now *that's* an X-excuse" http://www.ambiguous.org/quinn/birth/ NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? 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