Need To Know 2003-03-28

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2003-12-19
#318
I want to defy - the logic of your spam laws

2003-12-12
#317
Mugabe - yes, ICANN - no

2003-12-05
#316
Who's pirating the anti-piracy regulations?

2003-11-28
#315
Download, where's your troosers?

2003-11-21
#314
Not *now*, Cato!

2003-11-14
#313
unusually bottom-obsessed doh special

2003-11-07
#312
Kitcat snaps, merciless ming-boggling

2003-10-31
#311
poorly Perl, Ripley's believe it or not

2003-10-24
#310
RMS "friendly little monkey", Wyatt Erk

2003-10-17
#309
M&S PANTS

2003-10-10
#308
Do not press shift, go directly to jail

2003-10-03
#307
ICANN SMASH!

2003-09-26
#306
Free wine and nibbles at the opening

2003-09-19
#305
Tlak lkie a tanrspsoed pritare day

2003-09-12
#304
Target Mr Blaine's flying toilet

2003-09-05
#303
Game poetry, patent remedies

2003-08-29
#302
SCO selecta, Brussels rout

2003-08-22
#301
Partyful dyslexia warrior; taste the destiny of Lara Croft

2003-08-15
#300
Vigorous usability fights with tiny Gordon Freeman!

2003-08-08
#299
Pleasure to be decived! For your enjoyable Newsletter life

2003-08-01
#298
der-der-der, der der derrrr, der-der-der, der-der DER der

2003-07-25
#297
The Nielsen Guerilla Army

2003-07-18
#296
Stu Campbell and the Beautiful Irony of Spam

2003-07-11
MiniNTK #22
OSCON AWOL

2003-07-04
MiniNTK #21
Ding-dong, ezmlm is dead

2003-06-27
MiniNTK #20
Super Summertime "Special"

2003-06-20
#295
The Random Consultation Number Generator

2003-06-13
#294
Come on Arlene

2003-06-06
#293
Fruits machined, jargon filed

2003-05-30
#292
suffering little children, SCO news like no news

2003-05-23
#291
national elf service, murky dealings with Clear

2003-05-16
#290
S'truth Names, Jane Austen in bondage gear

2003-05-09
#289
TV Cream nostalgia, the WAN from Atlantis

2003-05-02
#288
MSPs MOA, Bye DA

2003-04-25
#287
The Orlowski Report

2003-04-18
MiniNTK #19
Gone Blashphemin'

2003-04-11
#286
fear of a googlebot planet

2003-04-04
#285
upmystreet upforsale, unheavenly creatures

2003-03-28
#284
spam, warez, spam, bugs and spam

2003-03-21
#283
More spam, Wrox off

2003-03-14
#282
Another great Viking victory

2003-03-07
#281
MPs and MP3s, BBC and PDFs

2003-02-28
#280
EMI wants more cash, libraries demand more cache

2003-02-21
#279
menace of the phantom withdrawals, a weak link in the chain

2003-02-14
#278
the calm before another storm

2003-02-07
#277
banned or potentially offensive text

2003-01-31
#276
Groundhog NTK... again

2003-01-24
#275
Groundhog NTK, "non-geek" SF festival

2003-01-17
#274
my voice is my passport, switch Case

2003-01-10
#273
Stand back up, be counted

2003-01-03
#272
Answer me too!

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"An inexpensive and harmless technique exploiting these subatomic particles could detect a small block of uranium concealed, for example, inside a truck full of sheep..." - US scientists clamp down on nuclear smuggling, unwittingly inspire new Jeff Minter game http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/2868041.stm >> HARD NEWS << U235 ewes If you're keeping up with our pettier news stories, you'll recall that document recently published by the BBC all about how to make websites accessible by not using proprietary standards. The one they released in PDF. Well, with all the speed of a publically-funded body, they got on the case and produced an alternate version. As you can see from the link, the BBC have now released it in Word format. Well, at least they're trying. The misplaced disability-friendly attempts continue on the BBC's London Congestion Charge mini-site. Clicking on one useful link provides you with a free motorbike map of London- in one stunning 3 megabyte, 5057x3634 inline JPEG. Rendering that, as our choking subscriber points out, proves difficult even for the "manliest of browsers". But, we like to think, it's a truly wonderful online gift for the more shortsighted web-browsing motorcyclist. www.bbc.co.uk/commissioning/bbci/pdf/BBCi_Accessibility_Study_7-10-02.doc - like the BBC News graphic designers, we can't help but feel... http://www.whitelabel.org/archives/000294.html#comments - we're being wound up here http://www.bbc.co.uk/london/congestion/images/bike_park.jpg - still, nice to have a 1:1 scale map of inner London Continuing the "following-up previous stories" theme, NTK reader TERRY was sufficiently moved by our publishing of an old ELSPA/ Federation Against Software Theft ad to write: "Wow... Thanks for that, I haven't seen that advert since it popped up in Computing with the Amstrad CPC in 1985. Although the one I saw had the guy grassing up his mate for a grand." With THE REGISTER reporting new anti-warez legislation coming in at the end of this month, it seems the perfect time to try and gather together some of the classics of this genre, so if you've got scans of any other ELSPA/FAST ads - or indeed the rumoured DTI anti-piracy leaflet currently targeted at kids doing "Key Stage 3" of the national curriculum, please get in touch at tips@spesh.com, and hopefully we'll publish a gallery of the most desperate and/or best. For the fair-use purposes of "review or criticism", of course. http://www.ntk.net/2002/11/29/elspa.gif - "join the ELSPA youth, free uniform and funny moustache" http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/4/29919.html - vs http://modernhumorist.com/mh/0004/propaganda/mp3.cfm We're still looking for spam from otherwise reputable companies (and for those who asked, no, we're afraid Network Solutions does not count as reputable) - which gives us only a little time to continue our campaign of poking our original spam- instigators, the RSPCA. We're assured that it was just the charity's Net naivety that got them into trouble originally, a theory certainly boistered by their latest campaign: against bonsaikitten.com. While their crack Net experts commendably "believe no kittens have actually been subjected to this procedure", they nevertheless encourage people to write to the Website host, a "Soylent" company running out of Mountain View, and ask for the site to be taken down. Given that Soylent's co-ordinator, Thomas Dell (of Internet Wiretap fame), describes it as "an enterprise which has distinguished itself by doing largely nothing except get people and governments upset", we can only wish them the best of luck. Parenthetically, RSPCA, while you're at it, could you stop your fans from accusing FaxYourMP.com of being run by secret pro-hunting fanatics? Because we're not, but we're beginning to think we should be. http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/29935.html - Reg to take RSPCA-baiting baton for now http://www.darkside.com/dell/ - soyl3nt Tom is... kittens? >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious usual casualty of war is unfortunate content management juxtapositions: http://www.ntk.net/2003/03/28/dohplan.gif , http://www.ntk.net/2003/03/28/dohppt.jpg ... new thrill! PUERILE GOOGLE SOURCE CODE offers ultra-terse error reporting: http://www.google.com/search?q=Perl+%22or+die+shit%22 ... German boycott of US companies offers download of list - as Word document: http://www.consumers-against-war.de/listeng.htm ... world's biggest virus must be observed from safe distance: http://www.ntk.net/2003/03/28/dohvir.gif ... astronomers give stellar explosion points for both technical and artistic merit: http://www.ntk.net/2003/03/28/dohvote.gif ... click "We can feature your vacancy" para - on our "GAY" hard drive?: http://www.gre.ac.uk/careers/Employers/services_employers.htm ... CRE@TE ONLINE prints final issue, in accordance with NTK prophecy: http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02000-07-21&l=272#l ... note to everyone currently circulating "Time Traveller" story: http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20030319/104808600007.html - at The Weekly World News it's April 1st every single day of the year: http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwntv/ ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful For anyone not currently getting enough of this on the 24-hour news channels, "aggressive machine gun sex and death video style" is promised at the premier UK screening of a career retrospective for Canadian cut-up video artists TASMAN RICHARDSON and JUBAL BROWN (screening 7.30pm, Thu 2003-04-03, The Horse Hospital, London WC1, UKP6; "The Hymn to Thanateros" installation: 12noon-6pm daily Fri 2003-04-04 to Sat 2003-04- 19, free but donations welcomed). The short films - nearly all less than 10 minutes long - include the harrowing "Vader Lives", "Teletubbies Rising", and "Mother May I Sleep with Danger?" (a "raging deathmetal satire of the teen death media obsession") - though, sadly, not the "Atari 2600 Remixes" for which Tasman is arguably best known in the art/gaming world. For that, you'd have to get along to the NEWBLEEP club night (from 8pm, tonight Fri 2003-03-28, Deluxe gallery, London N1, looks like it might even be free), a retro-themed evening where "guests will be invited to play on arcade games [whose visuals] will then be fed to the VJs and DJs", in what they describe as an "Interactive Installation Arcade Stylee". http://www.deluxe-arts.org.uk/ - Hoxton not exactly shaking off that Nathan Barley reputation http://www.cybase23.co.uk/wwwboard/messages/2380.html - http://www.thehorsehospital.com/ returns on April 1st http://www.stopwar.org.uk/action.asp - antiwar Parliament Square picnic on Sun http://www.atpfestival.com/events/index.php?event=1 - next week: All Tomorrow's Parties festival, Autechre-on-sea >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering By far the hardest part of running any open source project, after thinking up the clever title, arguing over how many mailing lists you'll be running (dev and user, or dev, user, announce and commits?), laying out the sourceforge Website, designing the logo for the logo competition page, haggling over the version numbering system, and trying to delete the NEWS file in automake, is settling on a bug tracking and documentation system. While two or three years is the optimum time to finally decide upon coding one up from scratch, if you really do just want to get this bloody project moving, you might want to try CVSTRAC. It says it is "low-ceremony", and this we can vouch for. A one-off CGI script with embedded SQLite database sits and glares at your CVS repository, pulling out changes automatically and logging them on a Wiki-like Website. You can add documentation around the changes, and let users raise bug tickets (which in turn can be flagged done by CVS logins). CVStrac does the bare minimum, so that you can spend less time wrapping your head around your BTS, and more time doing the important stuff. That is: should we use cuddled braces on 'elsif' statements or just around do { } while loops? http://www.cvstrac.org/ - also patch sets, cvs browsing and other usefulness >> MEMEPOOL << ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ unfortunate product names - "Splastic: The bouncing putty compound [...] that can be twisted, stretched and molded": http://www.finanz-nachrichten.de/nachrichten/artikel-1788522.asp - vs "With its simple design and clean lines not only will you look good in your 'Spazz' but your maneuverability will be unsurpassed": http://www.sportaid.com/page16.htm ... top pop product placement: http://www.lucjam.com/billboard.html ... some people will do anything to win "Employee of the year": http://www.radisson.com/waikikihi/ ... putting the "Bore" into "Borehamwood": http://www.networkrail.co.uk/operations/webcam/ ... oil shortages hitting the USA harder than we'd thought: http://www.heraldnet.com/Stories/03/3/28/16724910.cfm ... http://www.bigbold.com/ff/ frantically spawning METAFILTER clones ... http://www.goodle.com/english/company_e/com_e.htm vs http://www.boogle.com/ ... and the *French* are cowards?: http://www.bhgpr.com/release.cfm?prelease=398 ... "War pr0n" http://media.guardian.co.uk/iraqandthemedia/story/0,12823,922115,00.html imitates http://www.warnography.com/ , http://www.martian.fm/ ... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> doesn't seem to be too much of a petrol shortage in the original MAD MAX (11.25pm, Fri, BBC1)... Natascha McElhone plays another nutty dead woman, this time haunting Henry VII as THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL (9pm, Fri, BBC2)... speaking of which, an NTK reader recently told us he thought "Solaris" was also the inspiration for Disney robot shoot-'em-up THE BLACK HOLE (6.10pm, Sun, C5)... alarmingly, "the Amstrad computer" is among the artefacts in the 1980s edition of DESIGNING THE DECADES (8.15pm, Sat, BBC2)... KFC has yet to appropriate Tom Cruise's "Respect the cock" catchphrase from the epic MAGNOLIA (9.15pm, Sat, BBC2)... presumably the contestants in reality show THE MURDER GAME (9.15pm, Sat, BBC1) don't have access to the forensic technologies of the counter-scheduled CSI: MIAMI (9.15pm, Sat, C5)... and, only 60 or so years too late, BBC2 considers the possibilities for KILLING HITLER (8pm, Sun, BBC2) - though ideally not before he reveals where he's hidden his NAZI GOLD (8pm, Mon, C4)... the film looks a bit like a promo for dialogue coaches and suncream, but there's an groovy UNKLE soundtrack for SEXY BEAST (10pm, Sun, C4)... two different portrayals of smalltown America coincide in gay beauty pageant comedy HAPPY TEXAS (11.40pm, Sun, C4) and spontaneously combusting Meat Loaf truck chase BLACK DOG (10.55pm, Sun, BBC1)... and an unusual analogy is struck between the Wright brothers' first powered flight and the moon landing in populist tech-history DAYS THAT SHOOK THE WORLD (8pm, Tue, BBC2)... don't expect to see too much Chris Morris in prank clip show TV NIGHTMARES - YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED (7.30pm, Tue, ITV)... Kryten from Red Dwarf hosts an enthusiastically do-it-yourself testing of HOLLYWOOD SCIENCE (7.30pm, Wed, BBC2) - though probably won't be able to try Michael Biehn's "shoot it down with a laser" plan for dealing with an extinction-level ASTEROID (8pm, Thu, C5)... while Horizon shows that real research can still be exciting, in an edition entitled THE SECRET LIFE OF CAVES (9pm, Thu, BBC2)... FILM>> "The earth's core does not 'spin' (although it does turn at a very slightly different rate from the rest of the planet - about 3 degrees a year faster)" is the Internet Movie Database's only scientific objection to the entertainingly preposterous semi-Freudian talented-cast subterranean special- effects-fest THE CORE (imdb: adventure/ science-fiction/ apocalypse/ disaster/ expedition/ helicopter/ nuclear-bomb)... Colin "Bullseye" Farrell gives a (slightly) more realistic portrayal of a computer hacker being trained by CIA handler Al Pacino in superficially Vonnegut-referencing thriller THE RECRUIT ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/recruit_the.htm : man in tub; nudity hidden by convenience objects and camera viewfield limits aftermath of intercourse)... DMX and Jet Li rekindle their kung-fu/rap flirtation in a "Romeo Must Die" remake for the text-message generation CRADLE 2 THE GRAVE ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2003/cradle_2_the_grave.html : the fighting and martial arts moves might be enticing for some kids to imitate; a man gives another man "the finger")... and it's sex, drugs, and *broadband internet* in amoral spoilt- rich-kids updated Bret Easton Ellis adaptation THE RULES OF ATTRACTION ( http://www.cndb.com/ : [James "Dawson"] Van Der Beek does have several shirtless scenes and there are two shots of him "masturbating"; [Fred "Wonder Years"] Savage's only scene has him in a tight fitting pair of briefs; but most surprisingly, at 1:23:15, there seems to be a clear full frontal of Kip ["Driven"] Pardue pissing at the screen)... CONFECTIONERY THEORY>> "Hey! Your confectionery roundup isn't quantitative enough!" complains reader ED AVIS. "You should be quoting, at a minimum: Energy content, Proportion of cocoa solids (where applicable), [and] Median time after eating at which testers report all aftertaste has disappeared". It's in order to do greater justice to gems such as these that we're beta-testing yet another of our contemptuously under-designed spinoff sites, this one to specifically provide up-to-the- minute coverage of the cut-throat sweets and snacks market. Visit http://www.snackspot.org/ for the very latest on how Donald Rumsfeld helped get Nutrasweet into the ingredients of EXTREME CHILLI HEATWAVE FLAVOUR DORITOS (40p), the debate over extracting the "jelly foetus" from HARRY POTTER DRAGON EGGS (35p), plus the terrifying "dual use" technology of MILKY WAY SHAKE IT THICK MILKSHAKE - OR MOUSSE DESSERT (UKP1.29 for two sachets + "shaker"). Where possible, we've contacted everyone who's sent us food-related comments in the last few months for permission to reuse them on the new site - see, for instance, BRANDEN FREDERICK's impassioned defence of VANILLA COKE: "head and feet" above other US innovations, such as the Pibb XTRA "which has completely supplanted our supplies of Pibb normal" http://www.snackspot.org/thread.php?story=0302271535daa . But let us know if you've somehow been overlooked - or if you're mailing NTK about food in the future and don't want to appear on the spinoff site for some bizarre personal reasons... that said, Snackspot does have a "submissions" form of its own http://www.snackspot.org/submit.php , where you can post comments - and pics - of new or otherwise unusual products you've witnessed in the wild, in any of the preferred categories of "Sweets, biscuits, cakes", "Crisps and snacks", "Cereals, puddings, icecream", "Drinks and/or alcohol", and "Fast and/or hot food". And if you're not sure what you should be looking for, the "Awaiting sightings" section has a brief rundown of imminent product launches, this month featuring PENGUIN CHUKKAS and SPLATZ, MCDONALD'S "FRESH FRUITS", CADBURY MALLOS, the MECCA/ QIBLA COLAS that we still haven't seen in the shops yet, a whole range of new ice-creams for summer 2003 (including Nestle's new ICE CREAMERY dispenser), and - of course - BRITVIC FREEKEE SODA carbonated milk drink. Basically the idea of the site is supposed to be like "Big Chief I Spy" http://www.lightstraw.co.uk/ate/tec/jboxes/i-spy1.html vs Eric Schlosser's "Fast Food Nation" - so get spotting!... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "not an AOL keyword" http://journalism.berkeley.edu/projects/biplog/archive/000748.html NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntkmart.com/ (K) 2003 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Full license at: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/1.0 Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.