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NTK now with added t-shirt menaces |
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NTK 2007 NTK 2006 NTK 2005 NTK 2004 2003-12-19 #318 I want to defy - the logic of your spam laws 2003-12-12 #317 Mugabe - yes, ICANN - no 2003-12-05 #316 Who's pirating the anti-piracy regulations? 2003-11-28 #315 Download, where's your troosers? 2003-11-21 #314 Not *now*, Cato! 2003-11-14 #313 unusually bottom-obsessed doh special 2003-11-07 #312 Kitcat snaps, merciless ming-boggling 2003-10-31 #311 poorly Perl, Ripley's believe it or not 2003-10-24 #310 RMS "friendly little monkey", Wyatt Erk 2003-10-17 #309 M&S PANTS 2003-10-10 #308 Do not press shift, go directly to jail 2003-10-03 #307 ICANN SMASH! 2003-09-26 #306 Free wine and nibbles at the opening 2003-09-19 #305 Tlak lkie a tanrspsoed pritare day 2003-09-12 #304 Target Mr Blaine's flying toilet 2003-09-05 #303 Game poetry, patent remedies 2003-08-29 #302 SCO selecta, Brussels rout 2003-08-22 #301 Partyful dyslexia warrior; taste the destiny of Lara Croft 2003-08-15 #300 Vigorous usability fights with tiny Gordon Freeman! 2003-08-08 #299 Pleasure to be decived! For your enjoyable Newsletter life 2003-08-01 #298 der-der-der, der der derrrr, der-der-der, der-der DER der 2003-07-25 #297 The Nielsen Guerilla Army 2003-07-18 #296 Stu Campbell and the Beautiful Irony of Spam 2003-07-11 MiniNTK #22 OSCON AWOL 2003-07-04 MiniNTK #21 Ding-dong, ezmlm is dead 2003-06-27 MiniNTK #20 Super Summertime "Special" 2003-06-20 #295 The Random Consultation Number Generator 2003-06-13 #294 Come on Arlene 2003-06-06 #293 Fruits machined, jargon filed 2003-05-30 #292 suffering little children, SCO news like no news 2003-05-23 #291 national elf service, murky dealings with Clear 2003-05-16 #290 S'truth Names, Jane Austen in bondage gear 2003-05-09 #289 TV Cream nostalgia, the WAN from Atlantis 2003-05-02 #288 MSPs MOA, Bye DA 2003-04-25 #287 The Orlowski Report 2003-04-18 MiniNTK #19 Gone Blashphemin' 2003-04-11 #286 fear of a googlebot planet 2003-04-04 #285 upmystreet upforsale, unheavenly creatures 2003-03-28 #284 spam, warez, spam, bugs and spam 2003-03-21 #283 More spam, Wrox off 2003-03-14 #282 Another great Viking victory 2003-03-07 #281 MPs and MP3s, BBC and PDFs 2003-02-28 #280 EMI wants more cash, libraries demand more cache 2003-02-21 #279 menace of the phantom withdrawals, a weak link in the chain 2003-02-14 #278 the calm before another storm 2003-02-07 #277 banned or potentially offensive text 2003-01-31 #276 Groundhog NTK... again 2003-01-24 #275 Groundhog NTK, "non-geek" SF festival 2003-01-17 #274 my voice is my passport, switch Case 2003-01-10 #273 Stand back up, be counted 2003-01-03 #272 Answer me too! NTK 2002 NTK 2001 NTK 2000 NTK 1999 NTK 1998 NTK 1997 |
_ _ _____ _ __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the uk> | \ | |_ _| |/ / _ __ __2003-01-31_ o join! mail an empty message to | \| | | | | ' / | '_ \ / _ \ \ /\ / / o ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net | |\ | | | | . \ | | | | (_) \ v v / o website (+ archive) lives at: |_| \_| |_| |_|\_\|_| |_|\___/ \_/\_/ o http://www.ntk.net/ "AOL has estimated it would need 360,000 CDs each year at a cost of UKP34m to set up and maintain the [data retention] system." http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/2706677.stm ...ie: about as many as they mail out in a week? >> HARD NEWS << distinct deja-vus After our jocular "history is repeating itself" motif of last week, we're disturbed to find that 2003 is continuing to increasingly resemble a 1990s megamix. One of the first major cyberrights flaps in the UK was a 1996 piece by THE OBSERVER newspaper, which unfairly declared Clive Feather of Demon to be Britain's "pornographer in chief" - all because Demon had newsgroups with funny names, and The Observer had a picture of Clive looking shifty. The whole thing turned out to be major embarrassment for the truth-seeking, civil-rights-loving Observer, as the paper claimed credit for the shut-down of the first anonymous remailer, anon.penet.fi, and the FBI point- blank denied the quotes ascribed to them. The Observer has a short memory, though, and ran the story a second time, back in 2000, when, on a slow news day, it reeled once more at the shockingly continuing presence of Demon newsgroups. Still, like the addled Net users we are, we're getting a bit hardened to these sensational exclusives. Which is handy, because this week, they ran the same story again. Admittedly, this time, the names had been changed: it was Easynet now, not Demon, who were "peddling child porn involving incest and bestiality" (ie: running a full newsfeed). Basically, then, The Observer digs out this story roughly every three years, in the hope that nobody notices. It may be worth checking to see if they do that with the rest of the paper, too. http://www.community.org.uk/met-obsl.htm - back then even the CIXen were roused from their sedan chairs http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02000-03-24&l=60#l - article itself mysteriously gone from the archives http://tinyurl.com/54tc - archive.org remembers all http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/29062.html - Easynet not taking it lying down Open source PC-recyclers THE REDUNDANT TECHNOLOGY INITIATIVE describe themselves as "very impressed" with the standard of entries they had from our readers for their last UKP1000 2- week residency at their Access Space media lab in Sheffield. And NTK was "definitely one of the places" where the eventual winner, German electronic sound artist Malte Steiner, heard about it, making us almost morally compelled to tell you about this next one, just in case you - yes, you, Mr "Between Jobs" Tinkering Sysadmin - could make $$$ by going all "artistic". As before, tamar@lowtech.org would like to receive not more than 2 sides of A4 plus your CV, outlining a moderately low- tech free-software project that would "contain a strong visual element", to wow the crowds at a 2-hour workshop at the end of your fun-packed fortnight in post-industrial Full Monty-land. http://lowtech.org/intro/ - 2 weeks, 10 working days, or "80 hour equivalent" http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02002-10-04&l=46#l - and they even got round to updating their website too While we're handing out the curatorships: does anyone want the 5K competition? It's nearly the season for the only half-way decent annual challenge on the Web, and by now compressimaniacs around the world should be obfuscating their javascript at the very thought of fitting a neat game, design or flesh-eating worm into 5120 bytes of http-served glory. But the 5K's creators have left the building. They're spending their time these days hacking on their prospective MOO-for-money, The Game Neverending, and they are not coming out. Last September, the judges offered the 5K to anyone who wanted it - but as yet, nobody has come forward. Any volunteers? Would you like to be king of the modern-day demo scene? Should we do it? Or should everyone sit outside the Neverending's portal, yelling until the founders come out? http://www.the5k.org/ - answers to a Yahoo mailing list http://groups.yahoo.com/group/the5k/ - currently demonstrating the apathy L-curve >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious in Middle East, the punishment for smoking in toilets is harsh: www.ntk.net/2003/01/31/dohegypt.jpg ... Naked eBay Guy Strikes Again! http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1942839616 (look at the reflection in the TV) ... we think everyone with experience of Grimes, Iowa deserves a sizeable commiseration: http://desmoineshasjobs.com/0/0/4/0/po/000002.htm ... children can be cured of fear of dark with torches, lit rooms: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2686891.stm ... not fair, BBC designers: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/2699481.stm ... and the inappropriate banner ad folk are trying too hard too: http://www.ntk.net/2003/01/31/dohnohands.png ... and if PUERILE GOOGLISMS http://www.google.com/search?q=%22bums+night%22 lose their appeal, will SCR1PT K1DDI3 GOOGLISMS be far behind? http://www.google.com/search?q=%22index+of+hidden%22 ... and what about our extensive SURREAL GOOGLE MISSPELLING collection: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22bob+marley%22+whalers ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful Extensive research has revealed that next week's THE POLITICS OF CODE: SHAPING THE FUTURE OF THE NEXT INTERNET (from 9.15am, Thu 2003-02-06, the Oxford Union, registration from UKP15) isn't the same as the similarly named 2001 bash in Cambridge which featured a shouting Richard Stallman (for a change). Nonetheless, it does promise LAURENCE "Eldred v. Ashcroft" LESSIG, ESTHER "Release n.0" DYSON and FIPR's IAN "not the Stone Roses" BROWN discussing - and hopefully explaining - "IPv6, digital rights management systems, and digital identity and authentication technologies". You can catch Stallman, meanwhile, at the Free and Open source Software Developers' European Meeting FOSDEM 2003 (from Sat 2003-02-08, Universite Libre de Bruxelles, Brussels, all talks and tutorials free but "donations are welcome"), along with JON "MADDOG" HALL, the latter illuminating "The History Of Free Software: From 1300 AD To The Present Day". Handily, the UK's Linux User Groups have set up a mailing list for anyone interested in "exploring shared travel/accommodation/sponsorship arrangements" for the event - and let's hope that's not all they end up "exploring", if you know what we mean. http://mailman.lug.org.uk/mailman/listinfo/fosdem/ - we mean Brussels' many other delightful attractions... http://www.fosdem.org/ - ...of course http://pcmlp.socleg.ox.ac.uk/code/ - requires IE, Opera or "Netscape 6 and above" >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering So, you did something awful in a past life, and now you've got to do a proper, businesslike presentation in front of an audience of your peers. But how? You don't want to use PowerPoint because of those pledges your friends made to shoot you if you ever did. Your grungy five-year old clown laptop might spontaneously self-immolate as you sweep onto the stage - but you don't know what backup hardware they'll have running at the venue. You want your presentation to be in plaintext so you can hack final tweaks, but you also want to be able to stick in those funny pictures you snagged at the last minute from Google Images. You don't want to use Keynote because your image is of a raw, rough-and-ready soothsayer, not a turtlenecked Jobs clone. So what do you do? Can we suggest the rarely mentioned, but rather cool, presentation feature of the unbrowser, Opera? Pressing F11 in any version of Opera since v.5.0 will switch the app fullscreen, with a new media stylesheet enabled: simple HTML pages magically become individual slides, which you can flick through using PgUp and PgDown. Opera itself fits in under 4MB, so you can stick it on a USB key, or download it at your destination. Your presentation is in HTML, so you can download that too. Opera's non-free, but hell, it'll run on anything - and the ad-supported versions don't show their wares in presentation mode. Plus the more people use this feature, the (marginally) more likely it will that Mozilla and friends will adopt the same useful functionality. http://www.opera.com/support/tutorials/operashow/ - step-by-step guide http://www.w3.org/Talks/2002/04/11-pemberton - as used by the W3C http://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_bug.cgi?id=120398 - but not by Moz http://titanium.dstc.edu.au/xml/jacksvg/ - alternatively, how about doing it all in SVG? >> MEMEPOOL << ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ these days the West Country treats WiFi with merely suspicion, not mortal fear: http://www.psand.net/watershed/ ... at last, the perfect place to stick a sellotape dispenser: http://www.extremetech.com/article2/0,3973,846370,00.asp ... and you thought it was hard to get permits for anti-war marches: http://c8.com/anathematician/lrrs.htm ... www.omfg.com !1!!1!! ... www.homedespot.com/ ... Darth Straw up to his Jedi Mind Tricks again: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/2697667.stm ... www.ugly-midis.de.vu/ ... could this be the next Kevin Warwick? http://www.augerment.com/projects_at.html - *seems* zany enough: http://www.gsa.ac.uk/design/product/degreeshow95/people/peopfour.htm#James ... wonder if they also considered doing this to the pop song "Halo", by Texas: http://halo.bungie.org/misc/aholemirrors.html ... the perfect combo: unsteady boats, alcohol, and electric drills: www.hydrobikes.com/Hydrobike_Video/Products/Boat_Blender/boat_blender.html >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> Antoine "Training Day" Fuqua directs Mira Sorvino in THE REPLACEMENT KILLERS (11.10pm, Fri, BBC1) - aka "Time Crisis: The Movie"...CD:UK HOTSHOTS (1.25am, Fri, ITV) "may include content unsuitable for Saturday mornings"... and Kim Delaney Week kicks off with CSI: MIAMI (9pm, Sat, C5), NYPD BLUE (11.40pm, Tue, C4) plus erotic thriller TEMPTRESS (10.50pm, next Fri, C5)... while CSI: Vegas's William Petersen confusingly faces Hannibal Lecter in the '80s-tastic MANHUNTER (10.05pm, Sat, C4)... the rapid-reacting BBC now holds its top 2002 TV MOMENTS (9pm, Sat, BBC1) in Feb instead of mid-March: http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02002-03-15&l=214#l ... THE SIXTH SENSE (9pm, Sun, ITV) is basically "Signs" but without any aliens... here's hoping "Baghdad" isn't suddenly added to the list as archeologist Dan Cruickshank rummages through the rubble of THE LOST CITIES OF IRAQ (9pm, Sun, BBC2)... and Alotta Fagina's cameo in the original-and-best AUSTIN POWERS: INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY (9pm, Sun, C4) is followed, aptly enough, by DESIGNER VAGINAS (10.45pm, Sun, C4)... the mildly unairworthy CON AIR (9pm, Mon, C5) and LEONARDO'S DREAM MACHINES (9pm, Mon, C4) are both scheduled against Martin Bashir's typically po-faced LIVING WITH MICHAEL JACKSON - A TONIGHT SPECIAL (9pm, Mon, ITV)... Richard E Grant's career goes from Argos ads to a 10-min cookery spoof written by the "Does my bum look big in this?" woman POSH NOSH (9.50pm, Tue, BBC2)... and Morrissey gives a rare TV appearance as GOD ALMIGHTY (10.50pm, Tue, C5)... THE DAY I DIED (9pm, Wed, BBC2) gives credence to the bollocks "that near-death experiences actually come from beyond the brain"... scifi Western OUTLAND (9pm, Wed, C5) perpetuates that old "explosive decompression" myth: http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_147.html ... and 20 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU'RE 30 (10.35pm, Thu, C4) is a drama about 20somethings who must somehow have missed last year's C5 show "99 Things To Do Before You're 30", and indeed Dom Joly's presumably still-unmade "100 Things to Do Before You Die": http://www.amiannoyingornot.com/2002/view.aspx?ID=6670 ... FILM>> Spielberg makes a rare venture into comedy - what next for this talented young director: romance? - in overlong anachronism-packed '60s-set social-engineering missing-kid caper CATCH ME IF YOU CAN ( http://uk.imdb.com/Goofs?0264464 : when [DiCaprio] escapes from the plane after crossing the Atlantic, the plane is a modern 2-engine jet; the US currency seen throughout the movie is from the 1996 and 1999 issues)... it's "Death Wish" meets "Memento" in extraordinarily brutal French filmed-backwards rape-revenge arthouser IRREVERSIBLE ( http://www.cndb.com/movie.html?title=Irr%E9versible+%282002%29 : [Monica Bellucci] and real life lover Vincent Cassel wanted to work together on a project that involved steamy sex scenes)... - despite the similar title and explicit theme, not to be confused with ageing-groupie midlife-crisis THE BANGER SISTERS ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2002/the_banger_sisters.html : due to [Goldie Hawn's] presence and influence, [Susan Sarandon] eventually loosens up, smokes a joint and uses some profanity; [Hawn] and [Sarandon] return home to discover [Erika "Traffic" Christensen] having sex in the family pool)... FROM DESPAIR - TO LEISUREWEAR>> and well done to first-time caller BEN GOLDACRE, who was apparently unaware of sites like http://www.googlism.com/ when he suggested the not-at-all puerile - and occasionally quite poetic - Google search: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22the+internet+is+like%22 at the start of last November. Exactly 43 edited results of things that "the internet is like" - from "a large appletalk network" to "trying to put a cat in a washing machine" - are now available on t-shirts over at http://www.ntkmart.com/ , and Ben gets a pound for each one we sell (yeah, it's usually more, but it's not usually such hard work converting the idea into a usable graphic)... also new this month: special knock- down prices - for as little as a week or so - on design classics like the "Born To Run" ZX font and "I Spend All Day Bitching About You On IRC Channels You Can't See", while the ever-creative LLOYD WOOD has invested some of his royalties from last year's popular "++ungood;" into what he believes to be its diametric opposite: text saying "++good;", in black ink on a women's white "skinny tee". Continuing his "1984" theme, Lloyd hopes that the man's version of the shirt will now be called "the Winston", and that "the ++good; F-fit will have a strange attraction for the Julia set", he puns, shamelessly ... leading the pack of this month's runners-up was STEPHEN GILLIES' strong-concept-but-not-quite-there-for-some-reason: http://www.max.net.au/t-shirt.html ; LUKE PILLANS' pleasingly pixellated - though not immediately obvious - Tetris tribute: http://www.btinternet.com/~l.pillans/tetris_ntk_lpillans.gif ; and THOMAS CHIVERTON'S poignantly text-only "suicide.h:1198: warning: 'class MWaitSelf' only defines a private destructor and has no friends"... ED FEAR took the media placement prize for getting his "FairPlay" shirt onto BBC2's "Can't Get Enough Video Games" - more at http://www.geekstyle.co.uk/images/ - but WILL GRAINGER received nothing at all for asking "Does he get a free t-shirt?", regarding the man wanted by police earlier this year regarding "the dismembered remains of two women found in bin bags" http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/2619123.stm . (Un)fortunately, Will, it wasn't one of ours, and anyway, the rules clearly disqualify "entrants who, for instance, commit a hideous felony then wear the shirt to the subsequent court case" - please note, http://www.martian.fm/uckWa.htm ... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "What do we have to do to get banned round here?" http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/filtering/china/test/ NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntkmart.com/ (K) 2003 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Full license at: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/1.0 Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply. |
