Need To Know 1999-12-03

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"Protecting e-risk is best seen in terms of the medieval period because you require a range of defences, moats, ramparts, portcullises, watch towers and alarms, guard dogs and blood hounds. Similarly you need a bespoke security architecture that can continually adapt to the rising threat of hackers." - our old friend, D.K.MATAI, "Mi2j" (sic) http://www.zdnet.co.uk/news/1999/47/ns-11888.html ...illiterate priests to scare the serfs also available >> HARD NEWS << how wude! It'd be tempting to demand - a la the Department of Justice's rumoured plans for Microsoft - that BT be split into completely separate companies, but frankly, they're acting schizoid enough as it is. Good BT: The pricing for ADSL finally came through, and it's ohhh-kay. 150UKP connect fee, with a monthly cover of 30UKP charged to ISPs (boiling down to around 50UKP a month when you include ISP add-ons). Bad, *bad*, BT: Sir Iain Vallance, at a Brighton conference for telco managers, said that ADSL wasn't ready for the mainstream. Hell, he said the *Internet* wasn't ready for the mainstream: "in its infancy, and not yet fit for purpose", he said, adding that he felt like a "lollipop man restraining over-exuberant children." "The computing world has a very long way to go to match the standards of reliability and ease of access of broadcasting and fixed telecommunications worlds." Well, Iain, if you'd actually let them get on with it rather than standing in the middle of the road like an idiot, maybe we'd all get there a bit quicker. http://www.zdnet.co.uk/news/1999/47/ns-11831.html - cribbing from ZDNet? What is *wrong* with us this week? http://www.anchordesk.co.uk/anchordesk/ - arrgh! arrgh! aaaaarrrggrgggh! It's the quiet period... too quiet, it seems for those folk at agency.com still waiting for their new stocks to vest. So instead they amused themselves last week by staring at a Excel spreadsheet, accidentally e-mailed to all, containing the salary details of their fellow employees at the Web shop^H^H^H^Had agency^H^H^H^Hstrategist hive-mind. @NY has the overdue diligence for those of you looking for Crimbo pay review ammunition: http://www.siliconalleydaily.com/issues/sar12011999.html#Headline2304 - apparently sender ran around trying to delete it from every machine NSI - AN APOLOGY. In last week's NTK, we apologised for an article which have suggested that NSI's modification to the whois registry (to show registrars, not actual, useful, contact addresses) might break existing whois utilities. NSI protested that it wasn't their fault, and they were maintaining an old-style system at whois.networksolutions.com, which any sensible sysadmin could easily switch to. On the day of the switchover, NSI's own Web registration system broke. They were pointing to the wrong server. NTK would like to apologise for the apology. Sorry. >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious NINFOMANIA fall for the old "fuck-you, fuck-me" joke ... how lazy can you get? http://www.lazysoft.com/news.htm ... HAMSTER DANCE heading for Christmas number one ... FREE PC - FALCO! ... Microsoft SMS - FALCO! ... 27.7 million Americans try Internet, decide "it's not for them" ... CHANNEL 5 gives away computer with "64k of RAM" during Internet Night ... GRAHAM NORTON fakes now so obvious, they're funny again ... Samurai swordsman breaks into religious congregration and - wait. Is this Snowcrash? ... CHANNEL 5 states "the 404 page was invented in 1900 by Berners Lee" during Internet Night ... MELANIE PHILLIPS claims in Sunday Times that "the latest [video] games feature rape, torture and mass killing" - rape? Is this the Quake groin gesture? ... great 3DFX discounts at: http://www.outpost.com/entry?sku=A52003 ... Take advantage of the low Canadian dollar at: http://www.company57.com/exchange.html ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful Representing, no doubt, the 4 "bases" of human DNA (adenine, cytosine, thiamine, and, er, riboflavin) Brit would-be ribofunkers MICHAEL "SPARES" MARSHALL SMITH, SIMON "HEADLONG" INGS, JIM "HABITUS" FLINT, and HARI "WHO?" KUNZRU will be intermingling their genetic material at the Biotech Lounge, Lux Centre, London N1 from 8pm on Mon 1999-12-06 - presumably to create one "super-author" who'll produce some decent books for a change. In an ideal world, their "enhanced" offspring would go on to be judged by JOHN DE LANCIE (Q from ST: TNG) when he puts humanity on trial at the signing of his new book, at 12noon that same Monday at London's Forbidden Planet, New Oxford St. http://www.lux.org.uk/ - Hari Kunzru vs Hari Seldon Of course, those RTMark guys would *claim* to be appearing at a discussion at the ICA tomorrow from 1300GMT to 1600GMT to talk about the etoy.com controversy, and their attempted GATT coup-de-cappuchino in The Battle For Seattle this week. But you know how slippery these media pranksters can be. Whose to say we haven't been compromised too? Other speakers faking their so-called presence will be Kate Glazer, Heath Bunting, Rachel Baker, James Stevens, George W. Bush and someone who says he's from UNIT (the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce in "Dr Who"). Entrance fee: 1.50UKP. Ask vaguely for the thinktank/mindpool talk: it's part of the Crash exhibition - confirmed to be not based on the Primitives song of the same name. http://www.ica.org.uk/education/thinktank/ ...like we haven't compromised enough >> TRACKING << making good use of the things that we find We *quite* like Backflip, in that "Website that does something that we'd prefer to have a desktop app to do" way. It lets you upload your bookmarks to a server, which'll index them regularly, so you can search your own selection of Webpages. We *quite* like Dialpad, a Windows-only voice-over-IP system that lets you call any number in the US for free (it's okay if you don't try using it during peak hours). And we *quite* like e-tunnels, a MP3/ICQ/FTPish system for people too lame to run their own servers. But we'd wait until the first fifty-or-so "massive security hole/privacy violations ahoy/new open source program does it better" news stories before we'll use any of them, ta. http://www.backflip.com/ - URLs here so you can go "cool!" http://www.dialpad.com/ - then in six weeks look witheringly at the twentieth person http://www.etunnels.com/ - to show them to you. Unless that's us. >> MEMEPOOL << hasta la altavista can't put "reebok" or US swearwords on your nike iD's (www.nike.com) - will allow "slag" and "dontdoit" ... http://abcnews.go.com/wire/US/reuters19991129_3333.html vs. http://abcnews.go.com/wire/US/reuters19991119_2343.html ... what is this earth emotion you call "filled with chocolaty goodness"? http://www.emotioneric.com/ ... goldie capslocks: http://www.macworld.co.uk/hot_reviews/nov99hr/kingofkey.cfm ... Americanocentric RSAC ratings forbids "pasties" on topless dancers ... lest we forget: http://www.e-sheep.com/almostguy/30g.html ... let's hope they're not counting the names of God: http://stats.distributed.net/rc5-64/tmsummary.php3?team=237 ... tips for getting to Mars: never, ever, take the piss: http://137.78.99.33/msss/mardi_hardware/releases/98_launch_release/edl4.gif >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> hopefully, semi-reverential pomp rock tribute QUEEN FOR A NIGHT (Sat, from 21:00, C4) will cover the peculiar coincidence of Freddie Mercury dying at the same time as the UK release of Nightmare On Elm Street VI, resulting in cinemas across the country displaying celebratory "Freddie's Dead" posters (and who would have won that epic "Battle of the Dead Freddies", we wonder?)... C5 wheels out the original pilot movie of KNIGHT RIDER (Sun, 17:40pm, C5), which should at least clarify the bizarre "man who does not exist" voiceover at the start of each episode... and tedious anti-Japanese Michael Crichtoner RISING SUN (Sun, 22:00, C4) features Sean Connery as future saviour of humanity "John Connor"... Sue Lawley's CRIME SQUAD (Mon, 19:30, BBC1) continues inventing threats where none exist, in a seasonal round-up that includes bogus perfume street traders and "the trade in stolen Christmas trees" (believed to be worth billions every year, funding thousands of shed-based "chop shop" operations)... 1970s sub-Edge Of Darkness nuke eco-thriller DOOMWATCH (Tue, 21:00, C5) is revived on C5, now featuring Amanda Ooms, last seen changing into a werewolf in ITV's "Wilderness"... TOTP2 (Wed, 18:00, BBC2) devotes 45 minutes to Shania Twain's two UK hits to date... while female RoboCop romp THE DEMOLITIONIST (Wed, 22:15, C5) stars Nicole Eggert, formerly of "Baywatch" and "Charles In Charge"... FILM>> a rather more literal follow-up to "The Lawnmower Man", David Lynch's hypnotically dull return-to-form OAP weepie THE STRAIGHT STORY (imdb: road) apparently gets its name because the mower the old guy is taking across America has a massive turning circle, meaning he has to drive it in a near-straight line through trailerparks, henhouses etc... further smalltown wackiness in pseudo-gay Steve "Reality Bites" Zahn, Jeremy "The Net" Northam stereotypical designer indie mistaken identity caper HAPPY TEXAS (imdb: comedy) - might be an improvement on the current glut of unremarkably worthy mother/ daughter movies, all of which seem to star Susan Sarandon... and finally, experts cite "2.4 Children" and "Allo Allo" among the sitcoms people would rather see made into movies than Rik Mayall/ Ade Edmondson's shamefully anachronistic "Bottom" and, in that arena alone, dire slapstick Fawlty Towers knock-off GUEST HOUSE PARADISO (BBFC: Theme: Comedy, hotel; Language: Occasional strong, some coarse; Sex: Frequent, moderate reference; Violence: Frequent, comic) fails to disappoint. Suffice to say, it's not the unofficial sequel to "Cinema Paradiso" that international audiences had been hoping for... TESTING POSITIVE FOR "ASTEROIDS">> last Saturday's RETRO GAMES event http://users.powernet.co.uk/wibble/odyssey.htm lived up to its almost medieval reputation, choosing a location - Cranfield Agricultural College, in the heart of rural Bedfordshire - no more than 20 or 30 muddy fields from the nearest rail station. Nonetheless, there was a fair turnout of (clearly) dedicated individuals, mainly mourning the recent loss of both Spectrum tape-mag OUTLET and excellent Sinclair hacking zine THE ZX FILES, whose publisher has, in a search for even more obscurely rarified enjoyment, has moved into the still-thriving field of gaming on the Z88: http://www.menaxus.demon.co.uk/z88/z88home.htm ... still going strong: both RETROGAMER http://retrogamer.merseyworld.com/ and pioneeringly foul-mouthed Speccy/demo/porn scene zine CRASHED http://website.lineone.net/~alchemistresearch/sinclair/news.htm , which (we think) was responsible for the scoop that the upcoming (unofficial) Spectrum conversion of TOMB RAIDER in fact consists of screengrabs from the PlayStation version presented in a "create your own graphic adventure" package... it's all looking promising for next year's "enthusiast only" get-together BRITMEET 2000 http://www.gyruss.demon.co.uk/ccnuk/britmeet98/ - to be held, you've guessed it, somewhere in Bedfordshire... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "dashing young North London blades" http://www.the-times.co.uk/news/pages/tim/99/11/29/timintint01013.html?999 NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntk.net/books (K) 1999 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com - remember your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Remember: Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.