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  • NTK 2007
  • NTK 2006
  • NTK 2005
  • NTK 2004
  • NTK 2003
  • NTK 2002
  • NTK 2001
  • NTK 2000
  • 31/12/99
    #127
    Backspace deleted, Icke vs Illuminati, Quiz Apocalypse '99
  • 24/12/99
    #126
    Unusually resentful Newtonmas edition
  • 17/12/99
    #125
    Tomb Raider - The Worst Revelation, Saving "Crazynet", Party like it's 2600
  • 10/12/99
    #124
    BT "Lollipop" licked, Dreamcast porn, ICA ice-cream
  • 03/12/99
    #123
    agency.com go "public", NSI return to form, retro round-up
  • 26/11/99
    #122
    Sinclair "mare", Reclaim the First Class Carriage, HARRIXOS!
  • 19/11/99
    #121
    Early Edition
  • 12/11/99
    #120
    Bill's new friends, countdown to Napster lawsuits, mondo retro
  • 05/11/99
    #119
    into the valley of death rode the 0800, penny for the GIF, out of Clinky
  • 29/10/99
    #118
    CSS Hissing, 0800 YAH-RIGHT, Neal S exported
  • 22/10/99
    #117
    Stray Ducks, Eggs, Marbles and Mutts
  • 15/10/99
    #116
    ICA hosts more than just fancy parties, give yourself over to the "dark" break
  • 08/10/99
    #115
    NCIS pushes "made-up drug", ritualistic Apple-bashing, and all new NTK live
  • 01/10/99
    #114
    Grey day steals idea of "grey days", quantum uncertainty, Gibson on the streets
  • 24/09/99
    #113
    Scrambling spooks, Aussie proxies, and nothing but the Knuth
  • 17/09/99
    #112
    Nethead is Deadhead, Elite Final Conflict, text browser wars
  • 10/09/99
    #111
    Getting medieval on your math, Space 1999 - '99
  • 03/09/99
    #110
    Hotmail hot water, Matthew Smith found alive, celebrity wrangling
  • 27/08/99
    #109
    Open Scores, the "." in L. Ron, and Mad Magazine
  • 20/08/99
    #108
    God hates Demon, everyone loves the QL, Russian Roulette goes edible
  • 13/08/99
    #107
    Red Hat rising, Martlesham woes, DNS the Secondary
  • 06/08/99
    #106
    Info drought, ancient arcades, and Edinburgh
  • 30/07/99
    #105
    Bloody hell it's ADSL, pan-European Adams-Pratchett wars, K&R warez
  • 23/07/99
    #104
    Nic nic, Freebieserve, Amiga non Amigo
  • 16/07/99
    #103
    DefCon, Moon shots, more D&D than usual
  • 09/07/99
    #102
    Local loopy nuts are we, CU (Amiga) in court, Phantom Menace non-special
  • 02/07/99
    #101
    The gong shows, Virtual depravity, Fear of a Black Hat
  • 25/06/99
    #100
    Special anniversary DTI moan, Sarcastic Bastard of The Year, rubber band massacres
  • 18/06/99
    #99
    You got an 'ology, BSA busted, Space 1999 '99
  • 11/06/99
    #98
    ADSL RSN, Microsoft is wormfood, and sweaty Palms
  • 04/06/99
    #97
    Last year's bits, everyone quits, The FAST Show
  • 28/05/99
    #96
    BT going free?, Kevin Mitnick isn't, Atari Teenage Riot Tryout
  • 21/05/99
    #95
    Russian ruling roulette, whinnying Winn Schwartau, ASCII Star Wars
  • 14/05/99
    #94
    Not-so secret agents, mystery Falco, IP on the radio
  • 07/05/99
    #93
    Clive's Linux, Live Linux, Jive The Phantom Menace
  • 30/04/99
    #92
    Acorn dead again, "Susan" "Blackmore", and more anon
  • 23/04/99
    #91
    anon, gratis and unconventional
  • 16/04/99
    #90
    Crypto Careers, Krause Carouses, Clubbing for Kosovo
  • 09/04/99
    #89
    General public licence to kill, dirty ISPs, and Star Wars lego, hoorah
  • 02/04/99
    #88
    April Fools, Norton Futilities, and Hairy PalmPilots
  • 26/03/99
    #87
    AOL Churls, "Be" jwz, Dumb IE5 tricks
  • 19/03/99
    #86
    Open Mac, Email Alack, Stallman's back!
  • 12/03/99
    #85
    Putting the "ow" in Escrow, Krazy Kubrick Konspiracies!
  • 05/03/99
    #84
    Sat hack hoax, .com con, Virus The Musical
  • 26/02/99
    #83
    Damn it Janet, Amazin' planes, That cheatin' Heat
  • 19/02/99
    #82
    EU fools, sci-fi rules, it ain't COOL news
  • 12/02/99
    #81
    Spice Girls outsmart the EC, OTT anti-artist ranting, and the usual skeptic jokes
  • 05/02/99
    #80
    Demo wars, Superweeds and Hotmail to Pop
  • 29/01/99
    #79
    NCIS, N64 Emus, and roaming POP access
  • 22/01/99
    #78
    Freeserve again, NSI again, and Linux 2.2
  • 15/01/99
    #77
    Undercurrents, Element -snigger- 14, and ESR
  • 08/01/99
    #76
    Green apples, Nightmare at Milton Keynes, C64
  • NTK 1998
  • NTK 1997
  • HARD NEWS
  • ANTI-NEWS
  • EVENT QUEUE
  • TRACKING
  • MEMEPOOL
  • GEEK MEDIA
  • SMALL PRINT

 _   _ _____ _  __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the uk>
| \ | |_   _| |/ / _ __   __1999-08-20_ o join! mail 'subscribe ntknow'
|  \| | | | | ' / | '_ \ / _ \ \ /\ / / o  to majordomo@lists.ntk.net
| |\  | | | | . \ | | | | (_) \ v  v /  o website (+ archive) lives at:
|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\|_| |_|\___/ \_/\_/   o     http://www.ntk.net/

         "An *operational* Dalek from the television programme Dr Who
           fetched UKP6,670 yesterday at an auction of memorabilia..."
         - "News In Brief", 1999-08-19, DAILY TELEGRAPH (our emphasis)
...SOLD! to the squawking, grey-faced man on the knobbly silver podium...


                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                                 demons loosed

         We didn't make it to last week's SECONDARY DNS (it's okay,
         we've got last year's cached somewhere). But why bother,
         when the ongoing trend of Hackers Do Press Packs is still
         alive and kicking? In the traditional cannily-worded, yet
         alternatively-spelt press release, the kids revealed to the
         Proper Media that both the Royal Mail and the Scottish
         Executive sites are running exploitable versions of
         Microsoft IIS. "These weaknesses will eventually be
         exploited", they say, slowly so that everyone can
         understand, "by criminals, terrorists and other enemies of
         the UK". Or a bunch of script kiddies, depending on
         reads the conference notes first. The Royal Mail 
         responded quickly with a statement that security patches
         were put in place "in the last year" (in other words: the
         day after DNS e-mailed them with the details). And the
         Scottish Executive? Oh, we're sure they'll get around to it
         sooner or later. A few minutes too later, if past experience
         is anything to go by.
         http://www.dnscon.org/
                                         - white "kiss me quick" hats
         http://www.hack-net.com/defcon/
                          - naked girls, naked guys, naked SERVERS...

         It's always nice when someone decides to join the Anarchist
         Internet Conspiracy. Imagine, then, the interest at the UK's
         Earth First! Action Update when Jo, a "committed
         environmental and anti-corporation activist", e-mailed to
         ask how she could get involved in future campaigns like J18,
         which she "really enjoyed". Particularly intriguing was the
         Hotmail address that "Jo" sent her request from: "Jonathan
         Ungoed-Thomas" <joth99@hotmail.com>. Could Jo be somehow
         related to JONATHAN UNGOED-THOMAS of the Sunday Times, whose
         recent work has included a searing expose on how "J18
         activists" have become "cyber-terrorists", "trained in
         hacking techniques to attack the computer networks of banks
         and financial institutions"? Amazing that a journalist so
         well-versed in infowar didn't realise that creating a fake
         hotmail account involves putting a false name in the sign-up
         form. Still, he is learning. Previous Ungoed-Thomas pleas
         have come from "Laura", who contacted eco-advocate George
         Monbiot offering her assistance as a "committed
         anti-corporatist". That time, the canny Laura e-mailed her
         kind offer directly from Jon's Sunday Times work e-mail:
         Jonathan.Ungoed-Thomas@sundaytimes.co.uk. Jonathan - get out
         of the building! Those cyber-terrorists are IN THE ROOM WITH YOU!
http://www.guardianunlimited.co.uk/Archive/Article/0,4273,3893320,00.html
                        - more biting-the-hand-that-feeds-us coverage
http://www.sunday-times.co.uk/news/pages/sti/99/08/15/stinwenws01012.html?999
     - sneaky double agent "Laura" poses as journo from Sunday Times!                        

         And with paranoia at an all-time high in the news, we
         sincerely hope there's no connection between the flash
         floods that hit Las Vegas during Defcon, cyber-terrorists,
         DNS con, and this week's three-storey flooding of DEMON's
         headquarters at Gateway House. Demon blamed the fire
         service, but hell, if "They" have infiltrated the Post
         Office, Scottish Office, the Sunday Times and Global Climate
         Control, who can you trust? Incidentally, kudos to Demon for
         managing to maintain all their network services during the
         attack. Everything was back to normal by Wednesday,
         in time for Demon's POP servers to fall over entirely
         of their own accord. Normal service, indeed.
         http://www.helpdesk.demon.net/announce/da1999-08-18a.html
                         - insert "devil and deep blue sea" joke here
         http://www.godhatesfags.com/
              - "smiting" is *so* Old Testament; now He re-routes DNS   


                                >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         "LINEONE says portals are future for ISPs" reports this
         month's PC DIRECT (special 1997 retro edition)... presumably
         it kept melting in the post: http://www.baskinrobbins.com/
         ... in NME interview, MEL C concedes Spice Girls "partly to
         blame for... much shit"... singer/ guitarist of yelping
         Scots popsters BIS sustains "horrific injury to his
         testicles" (ibid)... in accordance with NTK prophecy
         [1999-07-16], PSX and N64 down to 80UKP... KANSAS CITY STAR
         illustrates National Clown Week with pic of John Wayne
         Gacy... one connection that'll make you say "JESUS" at
         http://www.jesusconnection.org/guestbook.html ... JARED
         DIAMOND believes German beer industry inefficient relative
         to American: neglects obvious "tastes less of piss"
         rejoinder... Falco: NETSCAPE SERVER... amazon.gr accuses
         AMAZON.COM of hacking, claim "they pinged our banners"...
         DAVID BRAKE posts *another* animal sex URL to SILENT
         TRISTERO: http://www.bbc.co.uk/education/clock/seven.shtml
         ... "This site is not yet on the worldwide web" reckons
         http://www.whsmiths.co.uk/ ... if this car was any less AUDI,
         it'd be a FORD: http://www.ntk.net/doh/990820topgear.gif ... 
         record A-LEVEL results - *again*... rude replies to: "what
         is a security BACK DOOR?" at http://www.askjeeves.com/ ...
         

                               >> EVENT QUEUE <<
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         Now in its third year (as we are), and we're getting a
         bit bored of plugging THE MIND SPORTS OLYMPIAD, next week
         from tomorrow 1999-08-21 at (appropriately enough) Olympia
         Conference Centre, London. With a few exceptions - "Creative
         Thinking", "Mental Calculations" (but no sign of 1997's
         "Computer Programming" contest) - it's just a load of silly
         board games: Backgammon, Bridge, Chess, Countdown, Scrabble,
         and "Skat" (assuming that's not the art of irritating jazz
         rapping). Why no genuine real-life skills, like Quake or
         pub quiz...
         http://www.mindsports.co.uk/
      - or a "Scanners" stare-out to make each other's heads explode?

         Probably more brain-stretching at the first ever UK
         SKEPTICS' PICNIC, this Sun 1999-08-22 at Clarence Gate,
         Regents Park, London (near Baker St Tube). "Bring your own
         food, drink and homemade UFO," they advise. "A prize will be
         offered for the UFO that flies the furthest." According to
         the site, chief unbeliever Wendy Grossman recently appeared
         on "This Morning" unsealing a "cursed box" claimed to bring
         death to all who open it...
         http://www.skeptic.org.uk/
                 - hope she doesn't mix it up with all the hampers...


                                >> TRACKING <<
                  making good use of the things that we find

         Well, it's old news in some sense, but then when you're
         discussing updates to the SINCLAIR QL platform, anything in
         the last decade is a bit of a scoop. The Q40 is a *red-hot*
         new implementation of the QL hardware, using Motorola's
         blistering 68040 40Mhz microprocessor, to attain speeds
         comparable with a 1995 68K Macintosh - plus it runs all your
         favourite QL software, such as... umm... SBASIC, and ah..
         oh, all that Psion office stuff, we guess. RRP for the QL40
         is 330UKP, merely twice the cost of a second-hand Macintosh
         LC475. The machine has been around for a few months, but the
         latest news is that the ongoing reimplementation of the
         cutting-edge QL operation system, QDOS, now supports full
         audio. And does it run Linux? To which the answer is "hell,
         yes". Followed by a muted scream.
         http://www.q40.de/
                       - QDOS floppy disk support! Up to 32MB of RAM!
         http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Bay/2602/q40.html
                     - world domination, one micro-platform at a time


                                >> MEMEPOOL <<
                              hasta la altavista
         
         BRION "LEON" JAMES' incept date kicked in last week... YES!
         YES! GOD! YES! http://www.oreilly.com/catalog/lmstorms/ ...
         SNUFF IRC: http://www.giggage.com/scott/ ... Nazis bombed a
         lot of cemeteries - to prevent allies creating ZOMBIE ARMY?
         http://www.contaminatedland.co.uk/sere-dip/estd-uxb.htm ...
         memo to Jerry Hall: you know PAUL ALLEN likes his "slashes"
         the "wrong way around", don't you?... SKOOLDAZE '99 out for
         summer: http://www.retrospec.co.uk/rjordan/klass/index.htm
         it's playing "Yankee Doodle" on the TRS-80 all over again:
         http://jya.com/tempest-cpu.htm ... retro-emulate THIS:
         http://www.gameandwatch.com/ ... Kevin Smith's Christian-
         baiting DOGMA due for UK release on Boxing Day... Calista
         Flockhart and Diablo skellingtons? As sick as ZDNET gets:
         http://www.gamecenter.com/Features/Exclusives/Separated2/
         ... ROSS ANDERSON researches back-up sources of funding:
         http://www.cl.cam.ac.uk/~rja14/lottery/lottery.html ... THE
         BEWITCHED PROJECT: http://home.att.net/~chmilnir/bewitch/
         ... and which frickin' website was DR EVIL referring to:
         http://www.sh.com/ or http://www.shh.com/ or what?...
         

                               >> GEEK MEDIA <<
                  the less rude http://www.ntk.net/tvgohome/

         TV>> hard-faced Michelle Gellar takes encouraging steps back
         towards her old, cuter haircut, but still bites off the
         funny lines in neato long-take series 3 opener of BUFFY THE
         VAMPIRE SLAYER (8pm, Fri, Sky1)... pop-promo profile
         MIRRORBALL (12midnight, Fri, C4) reflects on Jonas "Smack My
         Bitch Up, Ray Of Light, My Favourite Game" Akerlund... Jean
         Claude Van Damme uses the excuse that he's some sort of
         TIMECOP (9.30pm, Fri, BBC1) to nip back and marry Ferris
         Bueller's girlfriend... and nice set pieces (and chess
         pieces - spoofed by Austin Powers 2) but not much else in
         archly scheduled '60s style-over-content soundtrack vehicle
         THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR (3.30pm, Sat, ITV)... C4 seems to
         have kept those "Vidz" blokes away from BRUCE LEE WEEKEND
         (from 10pm, Sat, C4), including arguably the best comic
         adaptation of the '90s, THE CROW (10pm, Sun, C4)... Holly
         Hunter, Sigourney Weaver swap psychotically large email
         attachments with Harry Connick Jr in sub-Silence Of The
         Lambs serialer COPYCAT (9.30pm, Sun, BBC1)... since VIDEO
         DIARIES (11.45pm, Sun, BBC2) normally only lasts 5 minutes,
         would it be cruel to point out this one - by a stammerer -
         takes 50?... and a female video game designer hacks bank
         accounts in promising sounding '80s cybertrash THRILLKILL
         (2.35am, Mon, ITV) - nothing, it appears, to do with the
         cancelled Virgin beat-em-up (widely available at a warez
         streetmarket near you) or the band "My Life With The Thrill
         Kill Kult" of nearly the same name...

         FILM>> annoyingly, we couldn't get any preview VCDs of
         unhurried, unrequited prodigy-on-the-loose overachiever
         comedy RUSHMORE (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ :
         arrogance against fair authority; hatefulness and vengeance
         between minors and toward adults; using bees to effect
         vengeance; starting a leaf fire on school property) - but
         with all the "quirky" reviews plus the incomparable Bill
         Murray, we're hoping for Good Will Ghostbusting or
         something... some surprisingly good stuff around this week:
         John "Die Hard, Last Action Hero" McTiernan's flashy
         idle-rich thriller THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR (imdb: art-thief
         / billionaire / businessman / insurance-agent / museum /
         remake) - a superior remake of that famously ancient heist
         romance "Entrapment", released earlier this year... Robert
         Altman's chirpy Deep South suicide ensemble COOKIE'S FORTUNE
         (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ : insane behavior; lies
         to implicate another; inappropriate touch; hateful talk of
         the deceased; graphic suicide by gunshot to head) is fun if
         you can stay awake through it... of course Hugh Grant's
         "Notting Hill" meets "The Sopranos" lame duck MICKEY BLUE
         EYES (imdb: mafia) is terrible... but biggest disappointment
         lurks in Katie Holmes cut-to-ribbons Stepford teens drama
         DISTURBING BEHAVIOUR (imdb comment: "I always take time to
         watch the movies of Dawson's Creek stars"), despite a script
         by Scott "Con Air, Things To Do In Denver" Rosenberg -
         nothing to do (we think) with the Salon correspondent of
         exactly the same name...

         FOOD COURT>> some extraordinary accusations flooding in from
         shocked witnesses all round the country, including the
         limited edition return of your dad's CADBURY'S AZTEC (40p in
         a fancy food shop in London) - "based on an original
         Cadbury's recipe" (ie basically a Mars bar)... following
         their "giant polo" treachery, NESTLE are re-introducing
         pudding corner offshoot MINI SMARTIES to the confectionery
         counter: 49p for pack with "over 101 inside" - actually an
         oddly over-engineered giant plastic smartie that twists
         open, revealing a small orifice through which the smarties
         queen can birth her tiny offspring directly into your
         mouth... and, most heinously of all, the CHAMPAGNE
         CRUNCHIE (35-37p) "with the flavour of a splash of bubbly" -
         ie covered with foul mini-liqueur-type chocolate (officially
         it's "Sparkling White Wine" flavour to stop them getting
         sued by wine-lovers, the French etc)... plus, have NESTLE
         considered rebranding the single-finger TWIX as "Unix"?...
         never mind the new GOLDEN GRAHAMS CD giveaway: Sainsbury's
         are bundling a disposable KODAK ADVANTIX CAMERA (UKP8.99)
         with a free "Instant Barbecue", appealing to that vast
         demographic who don't buy cameras because they don't have
         any outdoor meal events to photograph... KELLOGGS' new
         CEREAL AND MILK BARS (25p each) aren't bad at all, despite -
         or perhaps because - the "milk" takes the form of a curious
         white-chocolate coating, not a runny centre. Available in
         Frosties, Coco Pops and new Sugar Puff-alike "Smacks"
         variants - though, The Grocer points out, kids aren't going
         to pester their parents "Can I have a Smack please?"... and
         finally, some just-announced sci-fi survivalist treats for
         the coming Christmas Millennium: after being named "Official
         Supplier of Confectionery to the Millennium Experience",
         MARS are launching a giant 2kg CELEBRATIONS selection in a
         transparent, Dome-shaped bowl (price TBA) - the ideal target
         for NESTLE's missile-shaped TIME CAPSULE (UKP4.99) and its
         fun-sized Kit Kat payload... but it's left to PETTY, WOOD -
         makers, we think, of the official Barney and Action Man
         Advent Calendars - to really push the envelope with their
         CHOCOLATE RUSSIAN ROULETTE, whose "spinning gun" mounted on
         the box lid can point to one of 11 praline-filled chocs or
         the one containing "red-hot chilli" - perfect for settling
         those tricky "who lives, who dies" disputes in *your*
         family's Y2K bunker...


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
           It is registered at the Post Office as "Geekmedia's gone too."
                          ( http://antinews.com/xtc/ )                     

                                 NEED TO KNOW
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  • HARD NEWS
  • ANTI-NEWS
  • EVENT QUEUE
  • TRACKING
  • MEMEPOOL
  • GEEK MEDIA
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