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  • NTK 2007
  • NTK 2006
  • NTK 2005
  • NTK 2004
  • NTK 2003
  • NTK 2002
  • NTK 2001
  • NTK 2000
  • 31/12/99
    #127
    Backspace deleted, Icke vs Illuminati, Quiz Apocalypse '99
  • 24/12/99
    #126
    Unusually resentful Newtonmas edition
  • 17/12/99
    #125
    Tomb Raider - The Worst Revelation, Saving "Crazynet", Party like it's 2600
  • 10/12/99
    #124
    BT "Lollipop" licked, Dreamcast porn, ICA ice-cream
  • 03/12/99
    #123
    agency.com go "public", NSI return to form, retro round-up
  • 26/11/99
    #122
    Sinclair "mare", Reclaim the First Class Carriage, HARRIXOS!
  • 19/11/99
    #121
    Early Edition
  • 12/11/99
    #120
    Bill's new friends, countdown to Napster lawsuits, mondo retro
  • 05/11/99
    #119
    into the valley of death rode the 0800, penny for the GIF, out of Clinky
  • 29/10/99
    #118
    CSS Hissing, 0800 YAH-RIGHT, Neal S exported
  • 22/10/99
    #117
    Stray Ducks, Eggs, Marbles and Mutts
  • 15/10/99
    #116
    ICA hosts more than just fancy parties, give yourself over to the "dark" break
  • 08/10/99
    #115
    NCIS pushes "made-up drug", ritualistic Apple-bashing, and all new NTK live
  • 01/10/99
    #114
    Grey day steals idea of "grey days", quantum uncertainty, Gibson on the streets
  • 24/09/99
    #113
    Scrambling spooks, Aussie proxies, and nothing but the Knuth
  • 17/09/99
    #112
    Nethead is Deadhead, Elite Final Conflict, text browser wars
  • 10/09/99
    #111
    Getting medieval on your math, Space 1999 - '99
  • 03/09/99
    #110
    Hotmail hot water, Matthew Smith found alive, celebrity wrangling
  • 27/08/99
    #109
    Open Scores, the "." in L. Ron, and Mad Magazine
  • 20/08/99
    #108
    God hates Demon, everyone loves the QL, Russian Roulette goes edible
  • 13/08/99
    #107
    Red Hat rising, Martlesham woes, DNS the Secondary
  • 06/08/99
    #106
    Info drought, ancient arcades, and Edinburgh
  • 30/07/99
    #105
    Bloody hell it's ADSL, pan-European Adams-Pratchett wars, K&R warez
  • 23/07/99
    #104
    Nic nic, Freebieserve, Amiga non Amigo
  • 16/07/99
    #103
    DefCon, Moon shots, more D&D than usual
  • 09/07/99
    #102
    Local loopy nuts are we, CU (Amiga) in court, Phantom Menace non-special
  • 02/07/99
    #101
    The gong shows, Virtual depravity, Fear of a Black Hat
  • 25/06/99
    #100
    Special anniversary DTI moan, Sarcastic Bastard of The Year, rubber band massacres
  • 18/06/99
    #99
    You got an 'ology, BSA busted, Space 1999 '99
  • 11/06/99
    #98
    ADSL RSN, Microsoft is wormfood, and sweaty Palms
  • 04/06/99
    #97
    Last year's bits, everyone quits, The FAST Show
  • 28/05/99
    #96
    BT going free?, Kevin Mitnick isn't, Atari Teenage Riot Tryout
  • 21/05/99
    #95
    Russian ruling roulette, whinnying Winn Schwartau, ASCII Star Wars
  • 14/05/99
    #94
    Not-so secret agents, mystery Falco, IP on the radio
  • 07/05/99
    #93
    Clive's Linux, Live Linux, Jive The Phantom Menace
  • 30/04/99
    #92
    Acorn dead again, "Susan" "Blackmore", and more anon
  • 23/04/99
    #91
    anon, gratis and unconventional
  • 16/04/99
    #90
    Crypto Careers, Krause Carouses, Clubbing for Kosovo
  • 09/04/99
    #89
    General public licence to kill, dirty ISPs, and Star Wars lego, hoorah
  • 02/04/99
    #88
    April Fools, Norton Futilities, and Hairy PalmPilots
  • 26/03/99
    #87
    AOL Churls, "Be" jwz, Dumb IE5 tricks
  • 19/03/99
    #86
    Open Mac, Email Alack, Stallman's back!
  • 12/03/99
    #85
    Putting the "ow" in Escrow, Krazy Kubrick Konspiracies!
  • 05/03/99
    #84
    Sat hack hoax, .com con, Virus The Musical
  • 26/02/99
    #83
    Damn it Janet, Amazin' planes, That cheatin' Heat
  • 19/02/99
    #82
    EU fools, sci-fi rules, it ain't COOL news
  • 12/02/99
    #81
    Spice Girls outsmart the EC, OTT anti-artist ranting, and the usual skeptic jokes
  • 05/02/99
    #80
    Demo wars, Superweeds and Hotmail to Pop
  • 29/01/99
    #79
    NCIS, N64 Emus, and roaming POP access
  • 22/01/99
    #78
    Freeserve again, NSI again, and Linux 2.2
  • 15/01/99
    #77
    Undercurrents, Element -snigger- 14, and ESR
  • 08/01/99
    #76
    Green apples, Nightmare at Milton Keynes, C64
  • NTK 1998
  • NTK 1997
  • HARD NEWS
  • ANTI-NEWS
  • EVENT QUEUE
  • TRACKING
  • MEMEPOOL
  • GEEK MEDIA
  • SMALL PRINT

 _   _ _____ _  __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the uk>
| \ | |_   _| |/ / _ __   __1999-11-12_ o join! mail an empty message to
|  \| | | | | ' / | '_ \ / _ \ \ /\ / / o ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net
| |\  | | | | . \ | | | | (_) \ v  v /  o website (+ archive) lives at:
|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\|_| |_|\___/ \_/\_/   o     http://www.ntk.net/

         '"Every terrorist organization has its own internet web
         site" to propagate it, recruit manpower, purchase firearms
         and even sell children for sexual purposes.'
         - AFP quoting RAYMOND KENDALL, General Secretary of Interpol
                               http://www.wjin.net/html/news/3019.htm
             ...although a lot of the smaller ones have Amazon zShops

                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                         falcoooooooooooooooooooooooos!

         The monopoly has been smashed. Only days after Judge
         Jackson's momentous decision, the iron grip held on the
         lucrative "underdog" market by the nigh-omnipotent
         LINUX/BEOS/MACOS cartel began slipping away. Areas of
         mindshare previously closed off to struggling competitor
         MICROSOFT obligingly opened up. JERRY "OS/2 Forever! Linux
         When I Work Out How to Run X!" POURNELLE was mandated, by
         government edict, to allow Bill Gates "most favoured
         innovator" status in his newly opened head. Even Eric S.
         Raymond's mind, one of the most fiercely defended domains of
         the underdog conspiracy, was freed of its bounds, and
         allowed to float toward supporting Redmond, muttering about
         government interference. At the centre of the storm, on the
         weekend before his COMDEX keynote, Linus "tyrant" Torvalds,
         must be a very worried man. What if Transmeta is a success?
         What if Redhat's shares continue to rise? What if world
         domination means... having everyone feel sorry for Bill?
         http://www.salon.com/tech/feature/1999/11/06/open_source/    
                - next they'll be making me work with Red China, sez ESR
         http://www.byte.com/column/BYT19991108S0001 
             - this also gives Bill access to all that SDI technology
         http://www.rc3.org/clips/epstein_msft.html
                             - okay, okay, here's the real analysis

         "No such thing as a free lunch", said BT MD Peter Bromfield.
         "Let them go to schools, if they want cheap Net access", he
         added (reportedly), at a Gartner Group symposium. Well,
         looks like both remain true, despite BT bellowing that ISP's
         will get cheap access to phone lines, enabling them to offer
         - ooh, check this out, thirty hours or so a month free calls
         for only thirty quid. And that's not including additional
         charges for ISPs. And that's forcing them to use BT's IP
         services. No such thing as a free market, certainly.
         http://www.zdnet.co.uk/news/1999/43/ns-11169.html
                                                         - Bye, Peter
         http://www.theregister.co.uk/991110-000016.html 
                                    - The Register has the calculator

         One day, all the new .co.uk's are going to realise that the
         best way to publicise their site isn't by having fancy ads
         during Friends, or indeed, even by getting That Turkish Guy
         to link to you. What they really need, is to get shut down
         by the establishment. Latest additions to the "mirroring the
         easy way": the Lord Chancellor gets an ISP to shut down a
         site critical of a judge. Instantly, a bunch of the usual
         suspects pop up with copies, and all the papers cover it.
         The DVD Forum slap a legal letter on British developer Derek
         Fawcus, forcing him to stop work on the open source DVD
         decoder. As if by magic, coding begins anew in New Zealand,
         and other copyright-liberal zones. Are we seeing a pattern
         here, yet?
         http://www.openpgp.net/censorship.html
                                          - a use for William Geiger!
http://livid.on.openprojects.net/pipermail/livid-dev/1999-November/001076.html
         - Declan gets it for covering the story too fast...
         http://www.what-declan-doesnt-get.com/
- ...then gets it from Lawrence Lessig. Must be doing *something* right..
          
                                >> ANTI-NEWS << 
                             berating the obvious

         GUARDIAN reveals that "the Nokia 7110 ... is the first to
         use the wireless application protocol (wop)" ... Krazynet:
         FALKO! ... BLOCKBUSTER eXistenZ competition leaflet asks:
         "How many bits of graphic gaming does the Dreamcast boast?"...
         TOMBRAIDER easier in the US, because "Americans thicker"...
         Zen Doh: http://www.pifco.com/ ... *spectacularly* bad
         Flash animation: http://www.switched-on.org/ ... unfortunate
         URLs: http://www.heckler-koch.de/pistfuk.htm ... PRICE
         JAMIESON boast in Rev!lu/i0n advert of raising "3UKP in
         financing in only 8 days" ... useful chat-up lines: "hey,
         aren't Slashdot posters really *creepy*?"... REAL 7.0: now
         reports what you're *thinking* of downloading ... Epicurious
         - or just bi? http://www.ntk.net/doh/19991112epi.gif ...
         from that other censored Website: "Steven Reid, Thesis:
         Changes in health and well-being in undergraduate students" ...
http://validator.w3.org/check?uri=http://www.open.gov.uk/services/standards.htm
         

                               >> EVENT QUEUE << 
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         The All Micro Show is back for another year, where "All
         Micro" is used in the same sense as "All Man": i.e. macho,
         hulking, giant non-PC platforms for a more civilised age.
         The show sprawls across the Hangar 17 environs at Bingley
         Hall, Stafford, for Saturday 13-11-1999 only, and this year
         features contributions from the Computer Junk Shop, the
         Judge-Dreddesque "Component Reclaim", the Einstein User
         Group, the Tyne & Wear Atari User Group, and "Vic Groom" -
         who is either a person or a dressage event, it's hard to
         tell. Alternatively, those veterans who unashamedly used
         their "educational" micros for playing games should jerk
         themselves one character space at a time to Cranfield
         "University", Beds for ODYSSEY (Saturday, 27-11-99) - "the
         last retro gaming event of the century". Members of guerilla
         outfits like the Commodore Faction get discounts - that is,
         if "Component Reclaim" doesn't get them first.
         http://www.sharward.co.uk
         - disturbingly sexist slant creeping into these sections, I notice
         http://users.powernet.co.uk/wibble/odyssey.htm         
                                        - ooh ooh Megadrive Bomberman
        
         It's the London Effects and Animation festival next week,
         from Tuesday 1999-11-13 until Thursday 1999-11-16.
         Spectacles like an "how did they ruin that?" insider's guide
         to the unconvincing effects of PHANTOM MENACE, and (it says
         here) a preview of Toy Story II are promised, but
         unfortunately the effects on their Flash-mired Website make
         it impossible to tell when or where these will occur.
         Telephone the booking office on 01203 426 514, and pray that
         you won't have to download a plug-in just to get a ticket.
         http://www.digmedia.co.uk/
                                  - infinite whizzing text and beyond


                                >> TRACKING <<
                  making good use of the things that we find 

         We'd love to see the business plan in NAPSTER's safe: "1.
         Bring entire system of intellectual property crashing down
         around fat-cat music industry's ears. 2. Sell ads."
         Available (in beta) for Windows, the Napster client is one
         of the neater ways of finding and sharing MP3s online
         without all that tedious messing around in IRC. The server
         maintains a list of the clients online, together with info
         on their connection, ping-rate, and a searchable database of
         all available MP3s. Find the song you want, download it
         directly from one of the thousand or so other clients, and
         dump it into your local library folder - where you'll be
         able to play it and other Napsters will be able to download
         it, reducing the load and distributing the responsibility.
         There's a touching sense of naivety about Napster's denials
         that this is the biggest MP3 warez emporium on the planet.
         Could someone reverse engineer the server protocol, and rig
         up a free version? You know, just in case?
         http://www.napster.com/
                                         - #include <stddisclaimer.h>

         
                                >> MEMEPOOL << 
                              hasta la altavista

         it's the Boo of poo! http://www.dogdoo.com/ ... DO NOT DRINK
         THE COOLANT: http://totl.net/Eunuch/ ... wear ALAN close to
         your heart: http://www.thinkgeek.com/geekgod ... ROB
         WITTIG's latest: http://www.tank20.com/v4/lead.html ...
         playing the "spot the canine erection" in the LYCOS ads ...
         "offshore programmers" spams ... welcome to our humble site,
         Mr Bond: http://www.villains.co.uk/ ... Jay, Bob, Bill, Ted
         and Adam and Joe too: http://members.aol.com/jaybobbillted ...
         "Take that C'T pranksters!": http://www.wulfstation.org/
         ... the "vibrating internal pager" - astounding tech
         innovation, or just those SODA.CO.UK artists looking for
         hits? http://www.v-i-p.co.uk ... Worst possible Millennium
         evening: http://www.hants.gov.uk/hampshirenow/hype.html ...
         we still think the new "I like animals. I'm graduated from
         two universities. And at last I like sex as every are having
         active sexual life" would make better lyrics:
         http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/63/mahir_cagri.html ...
         http://fuck-the-skull-of-jesus.mit.edu/ vs
         http://www.christ.org/ ... slightly *too* well-targeted, we
         fear: http://www.celebritysightings.com/mz-danica_index.cfm
         ... most liable to backfire publicity gimmick?
         http://www.phonebashing.com/ vs
         http://www.carl.bigstep.com/item.jhtml?CIID=667386 ...


                               >> GEEK MEDIA << 
                                 get out less

         FILM>> "If I could fight anyone, I'd fight *William
         Shatner*", paraphrases Ed Norton, promisingly, in David
         "Alien 3" Fincher's supervisual homoerotic Brad Pitt
         beat-em-up FIGHT CLUB (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ :
         fighting and beatings; encouraging sadness; arrogant
         risk-taking in traffic; punk music in startup background;
         masturbation encouraged as acceptable; insane servitude to
         evil) - arguably the "Starship Troopers" of ironic
         anti-consumer/ confused manhood schtick... lush imagery also
         enlivens deeply moving Glasgow teen estate weepie RATCATCHER
         (imdb: not to be confused with similarly themed Lee Evans
         slapstick "Mouse Hunt")... while the most interesting thing
         about male Pygmalion imposter costumer THE TICHBORNE 
         CLAIMANT (imdb: UK) is that it marks the first release of
         Cliff Stanford's http://www.films.redbus.co.uk Redbus
         Distribution, to be followed next week by yet another
         critically acclaimed minutely-observed period drama, THE
         RAGE: CARRIE 2...

         TV>> After demolishing the Catholic church, the Father Ted
         writers aim their satirical railguns at that other pillar of
         the establishment - HIPPIES (Fri, 21:30, BBC2)... while
         Richard "Slacker" Linklater's tackles the Seventies in DAZED
         AND CONFUSED (Fri, 23:20, BBC2) starring Milla "Supreme
         Being" Jovovovovich (for about twelve seconds)... the BBC
         breaks with their long tradition and dusts off the TARDIS
         for an occasion other than a telethon for DOCTOR WHO NIGHT
         (Sat, 20:55-00:30, BBC2) - from the first Dalek story to the
         franchise's 1996 ritual suicide... the presence of bearded,
         good Robin Williams should be enough to tempt you towards
         Gilliam's underrated THE FISHER KING (Sun, 23:40, BBC2)...
         two-parter THE ALCHEMISTS (Mon, 21:00, C5) takes us into
         "the clandestine world of genetic engineering" - those wacky
         scientists, eh?... just when you though those comedy
         gameshow pitches couldn't become more convoluted, Mel and
         Sue's CASTING COUCH (Mon, 22:30, ITV) beckons - a sort of
         "Hello! Have I Got Celebrity Rumours For You"... it remains
         to be seen how often the beeb will use a new WEBWISE strand
         to promote its own ISP, but POSTCARDS FROM THE NET (Mon,
         23:20, BBC2) promises "strong language" so it can't be all
         bad... on the other hand "Auntie" has no problem pimping out
         Tomorrow's Whores for BOND AND BEYOND (Wed, 19:30, BBC1) a
         half hour special conveniently timed to coincide with the
         marketing push for some movie or other... and a return to
         the old-fashioned values in HELLRAISER III (Wed, 23:25, C4)
         where Terry "Dax" Farrell takes on that unconvincing
         sculpture thing from the end of Bloodlines... but instead of
         relentless gore, why not project some positivity into your
         week with (Do-do do-do-do) PHENOMENON (Thu, 21:00, C5) and,
         while you're waiting, why not participate in a free
         personality assessment?


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
                    It is registered at the Post Office as 
            "membarrgrhr gragagha aaargghssociate program gragrgg"
     http://www.brains4zombies.com/purchase.html?brainType=Brains&brainID=NTK

                                 NEED TO KNOW
            THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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                        (Ksexy) 1999 Special Projects. 
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  • HARD NEWS
  • ANTI-NEWS
  • EVENT QUEUE
  • TRACKING
  • MEMEPOOL
  • GEEK MEDIA
  • SMALL PRINT