Need To Know 1999-01-22

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"If somebody took a gun and pointed at me and said write proprietary software or I'll shoot, I think under those circumstances, I'd be justified in writing some proprietary software, although I think that it would be very buggy and would never get to work reliably." - RICHARD M. STALLMAN http://www.nwfusion.com/news/1999/0111stallman.html - /* pppllease exxcuse inconsistent indenttattion */ >> HARD NEWS << dictats and coups FREESERVE's attempts to pass itself off as the non-techie, family ISP took a dent last week. E-mailing subscribers to tell them about its new anti-spamming policy, they announced that users would have to turn their CLID on to access the full service. "I don't even know where my CLID is!", wrote one correspondent, underestimating how low we'd sink for a joke. To prevent fly-by-night spammers, the ISP now prevents outgoing mail from any phone which withholds its number. Paranoid freeloaders with particularly sensitive CLIDs instantly kicked up their conspiracy template wizards and "revealed" how Freeserve was going to sell the phone numbers to marketeers (without, perhaps, picking up on ENERGIS being a Telco: who could get the telephone numbers at the switch anyway. And why would they draw attention to it, anyway?). Few, however, noted on one of the nastier clash-of-interests in the mess. Non-BT users moaned that their cable phone provider didn't have Caller-ID, making Freeserve useless to them. We note that it's those same cable phone providers who are peeved that Freeserve has skimmed off interconnect money from their meager local call profits, and would love to keep their customers offline. No caller-ID, no Freeserve - and more room for their own freebie ISP services. Now, *that's* denial of service... http://www.freeserve.net/ - dunno about free http://www.btwebworld.com/shopathome/campaign/concrete/index.html - freeload got c. 200UKP from my last phone bill The .com artists, NETWORK SOLUTIONS, got hit with more nasty hacks by domain name speculators. People are now reserving .com addresses, sitting out the thirty days before you have to pay up, and then - just before NSI's automated system releases the domain again - bludgeoning the Internic servers with thousands of new reservation requests. That lets the speculators hold domain names indefinitely without paying a penny. It also crashes NSI's servers, as the more worthy (or less sneaky) domain masters have discovered. Network Solution's answer has been intriguing: instead of devising a more sophisticated reservation system (genuine name & address authentication? PGP registration? actually holding people to the requirement that they have valid DNS servers?), they've simply deleted the "Status" and "Last changed" fields from the whois database without telling anyone. You'll note that this a) potentially busts other programs, b) doesn't solve the problem, since the domain name speculators already *know* when they reserved the domain. Network Solutions - placing the emphasis on neither. http://www.netsol.com/ - we're just asking to be put on hold, aren't we? And now to the heart of information economy. France. As more cheerful publications are celebrating that country's decision to liberalise their crypto laws, we've been hanging out at the Paris UNESCO conference on the Net and pedophilia. Fun, fun, fun. There, INTERPOL's Agnes Fournier-Saint Maur revealed that the problem demanded immediate action, as "studies in the United States in 1995 documented one million online pornographic images involving children." One million images? 1995? Porn scare? We're not 100% sure, but it *looks* like Ms Maur is citing as evidence that famously reputable Net porn expose, the infamous RIMM REPORT. Old timers will remember that this was the Carnegie-Mellon survey that TIME magazine ran as its cover story, only to discover that the principal conclusions (among others, that 83.5% of all Internet imagery was pornographic) were the entirely spurious inventions of a publicity-seeking undergraduate. But even the Rimm report claimed only to have found a million *descriptions* of *adult* images - not a million *child porn* images. It's good to know that officers in charge of catching child pornographers are incapable of spotting misleading evidence when it's a four years old mishearing of one of the most widely documented cases of Internet fraud ever committed. Truly, these Interpol folk are the *elite*. http://www.bergen.com/morenews/unesco199901197.htm - Inspector Clouseau will be heading the investigation http://www.eff.org/~declan/rimm/index.html - we don't think she's online much, do you? >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious BARCLAYS online banking - as easy as unplugging your computer from the phone: http://www.ntk.net/doh/barclays990122.gif ... "We're in desperate need of new writers," chortles .NET MAGAZINE (p.87)... WIREPLAY aims to find best strategy gamer in England, Scotland, Wales - using SETTLERS III... http://www.sonymusiceurope.com/ tech news last updated Sep 1998... FRAUD SITES may use "security encryptions (sic). Once you try to find out where the Internet site is located the whole thing destroys itself", reveals "Dan Morrison, fraud expert" in THE OBSERVER... EDGE persistently refers to Interactive Digital Software Association as ISDA, despite screenshot showing "IDSA" (which, in turn, is captioned "ISDA")... COREL sell off Netwinder... Dreamcast heatsink pipes contain "purified water", posits NEXT GENERATION MAGAZINE (US Edge), unaware that water needs to circulate in order to cool things, may explode if turns to steam... ...at OPEN SOURCE CONFERENCE, old Unix hands couldn't pronounce Linux properly, new Linux weenies couldn't say "troff" right, and the suits couldn't spell either... and this week's KATZISM, courtesy of slashdot: "The Internet is the first organic technological revolution, the first one that and self-replicates." How very true... INTEL to put random number generator in new chips, relaunches thousands of floating point jokes... BLOOMBERG e-mail bounces any message with "fucker" in it as a virus (including this one).. INTERAD? FALCOOOOOOOOOO!... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful We're kind of hoping that the "INSTITUTION OF ELECTRICAL ENGINEERS, YOUNGER MEMBERS" is a zany youth spin-off movement in the spirit of Young Einstein or Young Sherlock Holmes. We can just see them screaming "IEE!" in their unbroken squeaky voices, as they punch some Faraday-hating luddite to the ground. More somberly, they also hold regular events most Mondays at the IEE building, Savoy Place, London: this week's lecture - Human-Computer Interaction: Brain Interfaces To Pen Computer - is open to the public (apparently) and hosted by Dr Richard Reilly (age 12). Alternatively, there's Feb's "Short Papers Evening", with a UKP100 prize for the best 10 minute presentation on a project or technical subject of your choice - ideal if you happen to know a photogenic Irish schoolgirl cryptography genius (or perhaps you are one!). You do have to email them about this event in advance, though. Use the subject line "I know a photogenic Irish schoolgirl cryptography genius (or perhaps I am one!)". http://centres.iee.org/Younger/London/events.htm - "Starting and Running a Software Company" - Postponed >> TRACKING << making good use of the things that we find Linux 2.2.0 is out, and the only people who know what *that* means are working on Linux 2.4 and mustn't be disturbed. ALAN COX did his best to explain the benefits to last week's Open Source conference, but recalling the list of changes - even for him - had the quality of a high-IQ Generation Game conveyor belt quiz. "Errm... more filesystems, improved symmetric multi-processors support, [AUDIENCE MEMBER: EURO! EURO!] yes, yes, euro character set... ermm... ARM processor, cuddly penguin..." And in laymen's terms? Well, exhaustive tests have shown - it's faster. That's right, a OS upgrade that encourages people to buy older machines. No wonder it's hard to explain. http://www.uk.kernel.org/ - laymen who can re-edit their lilo settings, natch >> MEMEPOOL << hasta la altavista SUCK tires of knocking Canada, turns to UK http://www.suck.com/daily/99/01/22/ ... meanwhile, Americans pass law banning "gullibility" from dictionary: http://www.dumblaws.com/england.htm ... all new CAMBRIDGE COFFEE-POT: http://www.orl.co.uk/cgi-bin/coffee ... bookmarklets... Brian Eno meets MAGIC: THE GATHERING at http://hcs.harvard.edu/~slking/cards/ ... HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE feeling guilty about this whole Y2K thing: http://nt.excite.com/news/r/990121/11/tech-millennium ... ROMERO caught sneaking out the easy way: http://www.themushroom.com/mush0115/romerodeadagain.html ... socially-contracted IP diseases... overts... SUN asks its programmers to explain why their code *shouldn't* be open sourced... Interesting choice of top listing when you search for "blue screen of death" on YAHOO... no-one's bought receivers to listen to DAB broadcasts; expect to see spectrum rented for commercial apps... DETROIT's finest gather at: http://www.geocities.com/ResearchTriangle/Facility/8267/marci/marci.html >> GEEK MEDIA << may contain strongly-typed language TV>> as if the trailer for BBC2's Friday Comedy Zone (Gimme Gimme Gimme, The Young Ones) wasn't horrific enough, BBC1 has "built its schedule on a graveyard", with Spielberg's last great movie, POLTERGEIST (10.25pm, Fri, BBC1) - sure, Tobe Hooper's credited as director, but Steven's spirit is strong in this one. And the little girl who talks to the TV people? She died in 1998, after making Poltergeist III... Simon Mayo and Paul "Sunday Show" Tonkinson keep the tension simmering until Cthulu gorefest THE UNNAMABLE RETURNS (1.10am, Fri, BBC1) - wouldn't "HP Lovecraft" be a great name for a goth sex shop?... while 4Later's EXPLOITICA (from 1.15am, Fri, C4) pores over now-tame burlesque strippers like inexplicably popular pin-up Betty Page... Saturday is morally complex Western day starting just after HIGH NOON (12.35pm, Sat, BBC2) then moseying on over to dreamy-looking Eastwood-inspiring SHANE (2pm, Sat, BBC2)... Carol Vorderman's tarty alter-ego Davina McCall takes the public on death-defying stunts in DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME (6.10pm, Sat, ITV) - too much emphasis on the "defying", we reckon... while C4 rakes over the coals of previous conflicts with Cold War espionage gadgetry in THE SPYING GAME (7.25pm, Sat, C4), a repeat of slow but interesting Enigma crypto docu STATION X (7.55pm, Sat, C4), one of those '60s WW2 airwar epics BATTLE OF BRITAIN (8.55pm, Sat, C4), and post-war jet bomber porn CLASSIC AIRCRAFT (8.30pm, Tue, C4)... watch for the Wes Craven/ Evil Dead in-jokes in low-tech cybergirl RoboCop rip-off THE DEMOLITIONIST (10.50pm, Sat, C5)... tragically, all-action costume romp THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL (8pm, Sun, BBC1) seems specifically designed to pander to Richard E Grant's bizarre notions of grandeur... and it's clueless metamorphic soon-to-be-superseded night on C5, with Michael Jackson's MOONWALKER (5.50pm, Sun, C5) followed by original movie version of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (9pm, Sun, C5)... STAR TREK: DS9 (8pm, Mon, Sky1) flaunts its scientific ignorance by *shrinking* the cast to a point where their metabolisms couldn't possibly function (btw, Disney Paris really are opening a "Honey I Shrunk The Audience" show)... HORIZON (9.30pm, Thu, BBC2) shows its relevance to everyday life with something to do with universe expansion... and last week's was a bit tame, but VIDZ (1.40am, Thu, C4) could be 1999's most promising programme, largely for its pioneering use of the phrase "wanking with envy"... FILM>> "Pretty fly for a Warren Beatty movie" is the remarkable verdict on wildly confused passionate anti-politics rant BULWORTH (imdb: hitwoman / insurance / interracial-love / liberals / los-angeles / love / may-december-romance / political-campaign / political-corruption / political-satire / politically-incorrect / political / politicians / rap / satire / senator / socialism / south-central / suicide / vulgarity / afro-american / assassination-attempt / assassination / black / california / controversial / drug-dealer / election / gangs / hip-hop / hitman) - but then again, remember how critics rave over any lame Hollywood output that's got even a hint of subversive satire (Wag The Dog, The Truman Show)... sticking with the Presidential theme, the ghost of a former First Lady comiserating with the current one over their errant menfolk isn't the plot of moving cello-playing mad genius unofficial Shine-sequel HILARY AND JACKIE (imdb: biographical) - shows the sexy side of those uptight classical musicians, and anything that winds up Julian Lloyd-Webber can't be all bad... as anyone who saw his "What's New Pussycat?" performance over Christmas will attest, "not enough Mike Myers" is the lethal failing of Boogie Nights-wannabe Neve Campbell disco expose 54 (imdb: clap / drug-abuse / erotica / gay / tax-evasion / drugs / hollywood / nightclub / sex / studio-54 / studio / 1970s / 1980s / bartending / disco / the-clap)... and despite Dianne "Scissorhands" Wiest, Stockard "Rizzo" Channing, Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman and that bloke who looks like Sledge Hammer, wicca-friendly chick flick PRACTICAL MAGIC (imdb: drama / romance) is the latest in a long-cursed line - Eastwick, Hocus Pocus, The Craft - of not particularly wicked witch movies... CHEAP PRINT>> we're pleased to report that after the searing disappointment of his "Net Force", Tom Clancy's eminently put-downable RUTHLESS.COM (pay no more than Tesco's UKP3.99) may be *the worst tech-thriller of all time*. Not only is it turgidly written, appallingly paced, and peopled with characters who wonder in and out of chapters seemingly at will - the hero is a software CEO who opposes crypto export relaxation and supports key escrow, and doesn't change his mind when the bad guys break into a key escrow bank to steal the codes that open the doors to the Presidential submarine. A shameful addition to the already patchy roster of video-game spin-off books (Rise Of The Robots, the Doom novelisations) - no wonder amazon.co.uk isn't mirroring the reader comments at amazon.com... a much easier read flops out of Alex "The Beach" Garland's THE TESSERACT (retail UKP9.99, still on 30 per cent reduction at Borders); he says it's a 3D representation of a hypercube, we say it's 3 well observed interlinking short stories, each viewed from 2 different perspectives - like the early, good Iain Banks... we don't know much about Ray Kurzweil's blue-sky AI future history THE AGE OF SPIRITUAL MACHINES (Amazon import: UKP13.88) but the excerpt in last Saturday's Guardian wasn't encouraging: "1999: A $1000 desk-top personal computer can perform about 450 calculations per second." Although, as contrib Gareth Bellamy points out, "Perhaps this explains why the hyped 'New' Guardian websites were uncontactable for most of the week"... and, finally, thanks to everyone who wrote in with their descriptions of Jim Flint's sinister synchronistic Pi movie tie-in HABITUS (UKP10.99), but the prize - our remaining unconsumed CRUNCHIE EXPLOSION bar - goes to Adrian Moulder, for "The best episode of Grange Hill that Umberto Eco never wrote". NTK regrets that this correspondence is now closed... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. It is registered at the Post Office as "brown-toothed shills" NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Excuses - http://www.spesh.com/ntk/ Unsubscribe? 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