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  • NTK 2007
  • NTK 2006
  • NTK 2005
  • NTK 2004
  • NTK 2003
  • NTK 2002
  • NTK 2001
  • NTK 2000
  • 31/12/99
    #127
    Backspace deleted, Icke vs Illuminati, Quiz Apocalypse '99
  • 24/12/99
    #126
    Unusually resentful Newtonmas edition
  • 17/12/99
    #125
    Tomb Raider - The Worst Revelation, Saving "Crazynet", Party like it's 2600
  • 10/12/99
    #124
    BT "Lollipop" licked, Dreamcast porn, ICA ice-cream
  • 03/12/99
    #123
    agency.com go "public", NSI return to form, retro round-up
  • 26/11/99
    #122
    Sinclair "mare", Reclaim the First Class Carriage, HARRIXOS!
  • 19/11/99
    #121
    Early Edition
  • 12/11/99
    #120
    Bill's new friends, countdown to Napster lawsuits, mondo retro
  • 05/11/99
    #119
    into the valley of death rode the 0800, penny for the GIF, out of Clinky
  • 29/10/99
    #118
    CSS Hissing, 0800 YAH-RIGHT, Neal S exported
  • 22/10/99
    #117
    Stray Ducks, Eggs, Marbles and Mutts
  • 15/10/99
    #116
    ICA hosts more than just fancy parties, give yourself over to the "dark" break
  • 08/10/99
    #115
    NCIS pushes "made-up drug", ritualistic Apple-bashing, and all new NTK live
  • 01/10/99
    #114
    Grey day steals idea of "grey days", quantum uncertainty, Gibson on the streets
  • 24/09/99
    #113
    Scrambling spooks, Aussie proxies, and nothing but the Knuth
  • 17/09/99
    #112
    Nethead is Deadhead, Elite Final Conflict, text browser wars
  • 10/09/99
    #111
    Getting medieval on your math, Space 1999 - '99
  • 03/09/99
    #110
    Hotmail hot water, Matthew Smith found alive, celebrity wrangling
  • 27/08/99
    #109
    Open Scores, the "." in L. Ron, and Mad Magazine
  • 20/08/99
    #108
    God hates Demon, everyone loves the QL, Russian Roulette goes edible
  • 13/08/99
    #107
    Red Hat rising, Martlesham woes, DNS the Secondary
  • 06/08/99
    #106
    Info drought, ancient arcades, and Edinburgh
  • 30/07/99
    #105
    Bloody hell it's ADSL, pan-European Adams-Pratchett wars, K&R warez
  • 23/07/99
    #104
    Nic nic, Freebieserve, Amiga non Amigo
  • 16/07/99
    #103
    DefCon, Moon shots, more D&D than usual
  • 09/07/99
    #102
    Local loopy nuts are we, CU (Amiga) in court, Phantom Menace non-special
  • 02/07/99
    #101
    The gong shows, Virtual depravity, Fear of a Black Hat
  • 25/06/99
    #100
    Special anniversary DTI moan, Sarcastic Bastard of The Year, rubber band massacres
  • 18/06/99
    #99
    You got an 'ology, BSA busted, Space 1999 '99
  • 11/06/99
    #98
    ADSL RSN, Microsoft is wormfood, and sweaty Palms
  • 04/06/99
    #97
    Last year's bits, everyone quits, The FAST Show
  • 28/05/99
    #96
    BT going free?, Kevin Mitnick isn't, Atari Teenage Riot Tryout
  • 21/05/99
    #95
    Russian ruling roulette, whinnying Winn Schwartau, ASCII Star Wars
  • 14/05/99
    #94
    Not-so secret agents, mystery Falco, IP on the radio
  • 07/05/99
    #93
    Clive's Linux, Live Linux, Jive The Phantom Menace
  • 30/04/99
    #92
    Acorn dead again, "Susan" "Blackmore", and more anon
  • 23/04/99
    #91
    anon, gratis and unconventional
  • 16/04/99
    #90
    Crypto Careers, Krause Carouses, Clubbing for Kosovo
  • 09/04/99
    #89
    General public licence to kill, dirty ISPs, and Star Wars lego, hoorah
  • 02/04/99
    #88
    April Fools, Norton Futilities, and Hairy PalmPilots
  • 26/03/99
    #87
    AOL Churls, "Be" jwz, Dumb IE5 tricks
  • 19/03/99
    #86
    Open Mac, Email Alack, Stallman's back!
  • 12/03/99
    #85
    Putting the "ow" in Escrow, Krazy Kubrick Konspiracies!
  • 05/03/99
    #84
    Sat hack hoax, .com con, Virus The Musical
  • 26/02/99
    #83
    Damn it Janet, Amazin' planes, That cheatin' Heat
  • 19/02/99
    #82
    EU fools, sci-fi rules, it ain't COOL news
  • 12/02/99
    #81
    Spice Girls outsmart the EC, OTT anti-artist ranting, and the usual skeptic jokes
  • 05/02/99
    #80
    Demo wars, Superweeds and Hotmail to Pop
  • 29/01/99
    #79
    NCIS, N64 Emus, and roaming POP access
  • 22/01/99
    #78
    Freeserve again, NSI again, and Linux 2.2
  • 15/01/99
    #77
    Undercurrents, Element -snigger- 14, and ESR
  • 08/01/99
    #76
    Green apples, Nightmare at Milton Keynes, C64
  • NTK 1998
  • NTK 1997
  • HARD NEWS
  • ANTI-NEWS
  • EVENT QUEUE
  • TRACKING
  • MEMEPOOL
  • GEEK MEDIA
  • SMALL PRINT

 _   _ _____ _  __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the uk>
| \ | |_   _| |/ / _ __   __1999-11-19_ o join! mail an empty message to
|  \| | | | | ' / | '_ \ / _ \ \ /\ / / o ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net
| |\  | | | | . \ | | | | (_) \ v  v /  o website (+ archive) lives at:
|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\|_| |_|\___/ \_/\_/   o     http://www.ntk.net/

            "Gates also said that making the Windows
             secret source code public, a remedy suggested
             by some, would be bad for consumers... It would
             be bad if 'when people buy Windows they don't
             know what is in it,' he said."
         http://www.techweb.com/wire/story/reuters/REU19991115S0006
                                     ...isn't that kind of the point?


                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                                leave no bruise

         In accordance with prophecy, NAPSTER got peppered with RIAA
         lawyer shrapnel this week, but sensing that they had the
         will of the people (and an army of slashdot anonymous
         cowards) on their side, continued to release betas of their
         snazzy MP3 distribution system. In preparation for the
         inevitable next step, free source implementations of the
         client appeared for Linux - and strong rumours of a Perl
         server waiting in the wings, should the Napsters get kill
         -9ed by the music industry police. Do you think we should
         tell them about Hotline next?
         http://www.bigredh.com/index2.html
         - or maybe we should shut the hell up? Vote in our readers poll!
         http://www.wired.com/news/business/0,1367,32559,00.html
                                         - hey Napster! Napsteroonie!

         The problem with exposing the villainy of the Net on
         consumer action problems is, short of doorstepping Tim
         Berners-Lee and Vint Cerf, there's nobody obvious to *nab*.
         Naturally, that doesn't stop our protectors having a go.
         Facting us until we fart next week are Sue Lawley and her
         CRIME SQUAD, who have been exposing hacking and software
         piracy online where'er they find it. And if they don't find
         it - what then? That's the question that some Web companies
         have been asking after they were contacted by the program,
         and asked to "hack their own servers to show how it's done".
         When, naturally, they declined, the programme makers hinted
         that they really should, because otherwise the squad and
         their new mates would do it anyway. And to whom are we
         supposed to complain about that? Also making the Net safer
         for the rest of us next week, an upcoming "Here And Now"
         looks into Web fraud. At least they had the decency to
         invent a *funny* fake threat:
         http://members.tripod.com/bellilug
   - ... you know, I'm sure someone was touting this at First Tuesday
         http://www.bbc.co.uk/schedules/1999/11/22/bbc1.html
       - watch out for *two* appearences by NTK platinum subscribers!
         http://www.bbc.co.uk/webguide/c09231999.shtml
                                  - you lay *off* her, Anne Robinson!

         After the war, the decommissioning. NSI have begun working
         out the conditions of their pax with ICANN, including this
         week, the announcement that they'd be redirecting the
         rs.internic.net whois server to the registry whois at
         whois.nsiregistry.net. So from December whois *won't* tell
         you who owns the domain, but instead refer you someone else
         who should know who owns the domain. Sound confusing? Well,
         just wait until automatic domain lookup programs
         start breaking on 1999-12-01 - then you'll have confusion by
         the lorry-load. The format to the new whois is completely
         different to the old service, even though it should have
         been possible for NSI to set up a backwards compatible,
         cross-registry whois (a la www.geektools.com) with just a
         little more coding. There could have been good tech reasons
         for not doing that, but we'll never know, because NSI knows
         best. Even, we note, when it comes to leaking out personal
         info on their prospective shareholders...
         http://www.netsol.com/ir/db/
         - bit unfair. But you'd think they'd use a *proper* database, right?
         http://www.nsiregistry.com/
                - try out the new whois. try to fix your code in time


                                >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         DAVID BRAKE doin' a Weblog ... "MP3s Popular With Students",
         uncovers NEWSBYTES ... MP responds to e-mail - 381 days
         after it was sent ... www.phonebusters.com - paging Mr Jimmy
         Cauty ... that's no way to talk about the Holy of Holies:
         http://www.ntk.net/doh/19991119pope.gif ... The MAHIR
         Nightmare continues: http://kiss.to/mahir ... FUTURE's
         futuregamer.com proudly display their top 100 web site award
         - from Future's .Net mag... EASYEVERYTHING block DIY nuke
         info ... APPLE dump British personalisation into the
         "trash": http://macweek.zdnet.com/1999/11/07/english.html
         ... how desperate for hits can you get?
         http://www.nationalreview.com/goldberg/goldberg111299.html ...


                               >> EVENT QUEUE <<
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         WHIT DIFFIE, who looks so like Uncle Sam that the irony is
         almost suffocating, is in town again. Barring heckling from
         Mallet, he'll be speaking at the British Museum on "cracking
         later codes" - and given that it's being organised by the
         Egyptian Antiquities department in connection with their
         Rosetta Stone exhibition, we'd imagine that "later" here
         covers a lot of ground. It's on at 1800GMT, Tuesday,
         1999-11-23 - call the British Museum on 0171 323 8312 for
         tickets and more info.
         http://www.nextstep.com/stepback/cycle8/99/encryption.html
                                   - a superstar, that's what you are
         http://www.british-museum.ac.uk/cracking_codes/
                              - earliest example of a HOW-TO document


                                >> TRACKING <<
                  making good use of the things that we find

         No matter how many time Steve Job's minions crop-dust their
         homes with Agent Orange, a hardy crowd of user interface
         loyalists keep the MacOS look-and-feel flame alive. Their
         latest samizhack is SHERLOCK II WINFIX - a patch that'll
         remove all those ugly pseudo-metallic trimmings from the
         latest Sherlock app, and squeeze it back into a normal
         Macintosh window. Now, could somebody do the same thing for
         Quicktime 4?
         http://www.teamdraw.com/raul/stuff/stuff2.3.html
                                                       - nice imagery


                                >> MEMEPOOL <<
                              hasta la altavista

         AI for cats: http://www.bitboost.com/pawsense/index.html ...
         GOOGLE text ads ... TIM BERNERS-LEE invokes "special powers"
         to get E-pinions to remove trademark on "Web of Trust" ...
         ... as if Y2K wasn't going to be entertaining enough:
         http://www.nbc.com/y2k/show.html ... the funny things gaijin
         say: http://www.mangajin.com/ezine/bloopers.html ... for all
         your RALPH FIENNES Astrology needs:
         http://members.aol.com/IsisDawn/RFAstLnk.htm ... Oh No! They
         killed Kenny's mum!
         http://www.mtv.com/news/headlines/991116/story8.html ...
         after GONORRHEA boxer shorts:
         http://photopoint.com/dcm/features/f-micro1.html ... best
         embedded MIDI in years:
         http://www.countdownalliance.net/nashville/palpy4pres/ ...


                               >> GEEK MEDIA <<
                                 get out less

         TV (AND RADIO)>> Yes, the reason we're a bit early this week
         is to give you a chance in hell of catching Bill Gibson's
         favourite Velvet Underground MP3s in DESERT ISLAND DISCS
         (Fri, 09:00, Radio 4)... we warned SO GRAHAM NORTON (Fri,
         22:30, C4) last series; if they try faking any more
         hilarious "website phonecalls", we will *have them*... and
         for some reason TV stations don't want anyone watching on
         Saturday night, which is why they're givng us Bruce Willis
         vanity project HUDSON HAWK (Sat, 00:40, ITV), Joe Dante's
         PIRANHA (Sat, 23:25, C4), Bob Geldof and Mel Smith in NUMBER
         ONE (Sat, 00:25, C5), and worthy extended Bosnia APC product
         placement army drama WARRIORS (Sat, 21:00, BBC1) - not to be
         confused with the 1979 gang movie of the same name... still,
         Satellite viewers can tussle with SKYROCKET (Sat, 18:00,
         Sky1) some kind of webcast thing featuring The Simpsons/
         KotH/ Futurama/ Family Guy/ PJs, and known NTK subscriber,
         Ben Moor (crap site at http://www.skyrocket.co.uk/ )... then
         console themselves with season 3 of SOUTH PARK (Sun, 23:00,
         Sky1), featuring Jennifer Annistonandon... Hugh Grant/ Gene
         Hackman medico-thriller EXTREME MEASURES (Sun, 22:00, C4)
         comes on like a comatose "Coma"... while the ever-impartial
         BBC balances its current "Webwise" campaign with no less
         than *three* po-faced investigations into "cyber-crime": THE
         MONEY PROGRAMME (Sun, 22:30, BBC2), Kuji-featuring THE CRIME
         SQUAD (19:30, Mon, BBC1) [see news], Julia Sawalahalaha's
         guide to 21ST CENTURY STALKING (Wed 12/01, 22:15, BBC1) plus
         - the inevitable - TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY (Wed, 22:20,
         BBC1)...

         FILM>> at last! *another* heavy-handed fly-on-the-wall
         satire: ED TV (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ : noted
         lesbian actress as a central figure; vulgar hand gesture,
         manipulation of human anatomy, and body gesture; a sexual
         T-shirt; homosexual presence). Ellen DeGeneres, Rob Reiner
         televise the daily activities (though sadly no real-life
         drug-bust antics) of Matthew McConaughey to an audience of
         confused FHM readers who inexplicably prefer Liz Hurley over
         Jenna "Dharma And Greg" Elfman... clearly having learned
         nothing from the ridiculous current ad campaign for Disney's
         "moo-LARN", couldn't supposedly brainy Ralph Fiennes and
         writer Michael Ignatieff have come up with a pronounceable
         title for ponderous Liv Tyler period melodrama ONEGIN (imdb:
         duel / russia)? We advise asking for "One Gin" at the box
         office - "a double vodka and a packet of crisps!"...
         otherwise an exceptional week for offloading nondescript
         rubbish: loathsome Ray Winstone romantic comedy FANNY AND
         ELVIS; Claire Danes and Kate Beckinsale as drug-smuggling
         foreign jailbait in BROKEDOWN PALACE; inspiration-free
         Redbus horror sequel THE RAGE: CARRIE 2; and, on limited
         release, "monks prefer footy to boring old religion"
         cultural imperialism celebration THE CUP, whose trailer is
         indistinguishable from a Nike ad... finally, it's not a
         shelf heading at your local butchers, but the name of
         Harrison Ford/ Kristen "Lady Penelope" Scott Thomas's
         mid-life desperation romance RANDOM HEARTS (imdb comment:
         "'In a perfect world they never would have met.' In a
         perfect world filmmakers would think twice before embarking
         on adaptations of bad '80s novels"). After this and "Six
         Days, Seven Nights", what is it with Harrison Ford and plane
         crashes? Doesn't a guy his age have simpler ways of meeting
         available women?...

         COMPO>> You! Yes, you!  Do you use one of those "out of the
         office" autoresponder programs? You know, the one that
         ignores "Precedence:" headers? Don't deny it, we've got an
         inbox that says otherwise. Well, as a special offer to any
         subscribers who mail us anything that matches our magic
         regexp, this week we'll automatically send (free of charge)
         a special message: It could be an amusing Dave Barry quote,
         an ascii-art Bart Simpson, or even a randomly picked Project
         Guttenburg e-text. Share and Enjoy! And the best thing is,
         if your autoresponder is *really* broken, it's the gift that
         we'll keep on giving! (If you're not sure if you're eligible
         for our special offer please consult your mail
         administrator.  If a look of panic creeps across their face,
         do let us know.)


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
                    It is registered at the Post Office as
                 "the lowest form of wit" (p121, Internet Monthly)

                                 NEED TO KNOW
            THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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  • HARD NEWS
  • ANTI-NEWS
  • EVENT QUEUE
  • TRACKING
  • MEMEPOOL
  • GEEK MEDIA
  • SMALL PRINT