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day you give blind trust to it's contents. Hackers with more
malicious meanings could have easily put up some fake news
bulletins, saying anything they want you to believe, without you
- Cracked INDEPENDENT SITE http://www.ntk.net/doh/19990730indi.gif
...yeah, though usually there's better grammar and spelling
(when the hackers are doing it)
>> HARD NEWS <<
some you win, some you lose
ADSL! ADSL! Thank God almighty, ADSL! But what's this? Was
it not ordained for September, when BT now say November? And
was not the plan for cheap and retail, when BT now
hand-waves 40UKP-150UKP for reselling to ISPs only? What of
ordained Prophecy? Put it down to OFTEL once again using
their Bene-Gesserit-trained Voice on BRITISH TELECOM. The
unspoken command: either you can jump into subsidised retail
ADSL next month without adequate warning to the rest of the
ISP community, in which case we unbundle your local loops so
fast your shareholders will squint for a decade. Or you can
do it wholesale and give the competition the trad 90 days to
get their acts together and - hey, we can take it a little
slower on that whole co-location jag, man, okay? So, it's
the latter, ADSL is later, and the price is fixed higher,
but at least BT isn't blatting every ISP out of existence.
Those meddling government tyrants, eh? George Gilder must be
spitting blood. Mind you, datastream junkies that we are,
our off-the-record stance remains: "They could install it up
our arse, and make us pay double, and we'd still be up for
it." Lucky that's also BT's consumer charter. Now,
wonder what happened to the other secret piece of "New BT"'s
Autumn strategy: free weekend local calls?
- although the engineers will probably install it on our elbow
our first high bandwidth presentation - the horrors of corporate rap.
Mind you, BT hardly needs to push its ISP competition around
when they're so busy kicking their own teeth in. Take one
leading brand, currently in the middle of switching from one
network provider to another. This week they transferred
their registration system to point at the new telco. And
watched, aghast, when somebody in the old network operation
centre locked them out of their own systems, re-pointed it
back, and disdainfully restored from backups. The battle of
who "owns" the server is still going on, with his own senior
management still trying pursuade the employee to unchain
himself from the server rack and come quietly. Don't listen
to them, kid! The war never ended!
- nope, it isn't. But we thought we might need a decoy
SILLY SEASON SMORGASBORD>> Last week's thrilling conjecture
regarding a threatened Nominet IPO coup and domain
price-cuts would have been eerily prescient, were it not for
the fact that both events had already occurred two days
previously at the UK domain authority's AGM. Carpet-baggers
were routed, and the cost (to Nominet members) of a .co.uk
dropped to a fiver. Sorry: we're not used to your species'
linear conception of time. Thank goodness we have NTK
near-regular STUART CAMPBELL to point out us that Heinz Wolff
is *not* dead in this dimension, and was due to bellow
"Beware - I LIVE!" at the launch of SINISTAR UNLEASHED
yesterday. Gratifyingly, however, it seems that FRONTIERS
magazine *has* recently suspended publication; some would
say, not before time. Plus, it turns out that Commodore
*had* been at war with QNX all along, according to the World
Of Amiga "special edition" of Amiga Insight (official
publication of the Amiga Kickstart User Group), who kick off
with: "QNX: The embedded OS is by no means inferior, but has
less of an industry profile today than the Atari ST!" Full
show report at the end of this issue...
>> ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
INTERNET MAGAZINE's "Web Professional" Steve Patient (p117)
claims UDP stands for "Unacknowledged Data Protocol"... "OLD"
NICK NEGROPONTE refuses a Webcast from ICA for "intellectual
property reasons": how very quaint... as easy to read as a PDF
document: http://www.ntk.net/doh/19990730acrob.gif ... T3
MAGAZINE visits Demon (p96), cites "192.342.153.2" as DNS
example... http://www.solutions.ie/ "temporarily unavailable"
- "as a result of our continued success and business
development" (what else?)... Gibson wrote NEUROMANCER on a
typewriter; http://www.neuromancer.org/ runs NCSA 1.1... hard
to get to http://www.coi.gov.uk/ht_summary.html using LYNX...
no online registration for MOBILE COMPUTING '99; print out
http://mobicom99.research.microsoft.com/regform2.htm and "fax
or post" it to them... DEMON re-allocating free staff Fulham
tickets for "corporate use": management enquire why morale is
low... my browser's supposed to support *what*? (section 4.4,
p.4 in ftp://ftp.isi.edu/in-notes/rfc2616.txt - or search for
ARSE)... MICROSOFT FLIGHT SIMULATOR master of understatement:
http://www.ntk.net/doh/19990730jfksim.gif ... BT INTERACTIVE
believe their own URL to be "BT Interactive.com"... SRL's MARK
PAULINE heckled at WebZine '99: uses rocket launcher as
>> EVENT QUEUE <<
goto's considered non-harmful
Once you've got your Interactive BAFTA entry in the post
(closing date next Fri 1999-08-06), why not head out to the
continent, and see how our Germanic friends celebrate the
gradual shut-down of summer? CHAOS COMPUTER CLUB are holding
a HIP-style camp-out next weekend (from 1999-08-06), with a
Douglas Adams-themed hacking fest in a "field near Berlin".
Given it's only a week after the Britain's own Terry
Pratchett-obsessed CLARECRAFT 1999 (this weekend: camping,
ubiquitous Discworld dressing-up, scary David Hodges in "a
field near Suffolk"), we hope both events are a cover for
the long-awaited ADAMS-PRATCHETT ARMAGEDDON, when the two
fan armies destroy each other, to the relief of all. Amiga
users will be partying like it's 1989 at the 8th ASSEMBLY
DEMO PARTY (also from 1999-08-06), at the Hartwall Areena,
near Helsinki. And, most innovative of all, there's the
LINUXBIERWANDERUNG (from Sat 1999-08-07), where - of course
- Linux users hike the hills, caves and "brewpubs" of North
Eastern Bavaria. Following recent tourist tragedies, let's
hope they don't attempt any "extreme OS advocacy" without
the aid of properly trained instructors.
- can we do our "pingtime for Hitler" joke again?
- Hodges has a *figurine*?
- and isn't this last year's design?
- Douglas Adams: so uncool he's almost cool again
- c'mon, we need the competition
>> TRACKING <<
making good use of the things that we find
IMPRISE/BORLAND/IMPRISE/BORLAND's generous release of
centuries-old Turbo C and Pascal binaries (on a dual PIII
machine, short pieces of 1986 Turbo C code will now compile and
run before they've been written), the trend is on for
companies to release their older development environments.
Jumping the gun somewhat is UNCREATIVE ARCHIVES, which
contains links to such unsanctioned memorabilia as WINDOWS
1.04, and GW-BASIC. Please do not download these, as that's
piracy, and anyway they'll have gone before you've read
this. Amazingly, though, they will still have lasted longer
than Dennis Ritchie's warez cache of vintage pre-struct C
compilers from the mid-seventies (he can't date them exactly
because "we kept changing the epoch"). We're assuming some
disaster on the Bell Labs Web server has deleted this
directory. Unless it's Kernighan slapping a cease and desist?
- also in the museum: Borland itself
- ah! solution to the Y2K bug - get dmr to change the epoch again
- but it was there on Thursday night!
>> MEMEPOOL <<
hasta la altavista
http://www.nmia.com/~roberts/tvro-dx recommends "fantastic
shows like Neal's House Party and The Big Break - unlike any
TV you have ever seen before". No kidding - he appears to be
watching them in ALTERNATE FRAMES... PORN the filters won't
get: http://www.maths.tcd.ie/~sprooney/pub/ ... PORN no-one
should get: http://www.britney-nude.com ... you are here:
http://www.peacockmaps.com/ ... ORANGE pseudo-WILDFIRE easter
eggs (try: "I'm depressed")... all-too-believable NT user
http://www.freeyellow.com/members7/geraldholmes/ ... starting
to "get" RU Sirius' http://www.gettingit.com ... 23 voters
can't be wrong! http://vote.Pollit.com/webpoll2/95704 ...
phew, now "you can spend your time creating great Web pages
and great COBOL programs, not struggling to integrate
... DETAILS' new band-names round-up includes JFKFC, PHLEGM
FATALE, JEHOVAH'S WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM, and KATHLEEN
TURNER OVERDRIVE ... "darling, I can see right through you":
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/set/transparent.html ... 404
found at last: http://www98.room404.com/content/room404.asp
who's watching http://www.msu.edu/~whitero2/watchmen.html ?...
tots TV totty: http://www.bud.com/99/07/tkles/22.bjorn.totporn/ ..
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
get out less
TV>> the only VIRTUOSITY (9.30pm, Fri, BBC1) visible in the
Denzel Washington VR flop is in the title; director Brett
"Lawnmower Man" Leonard went on to make 3D Imax clunker "T-Rex:
Back to the Cretaceous"... to our jaded eyes, SciFi's cyber-anime
double bill AKIRA (9.30pm, Fri, SciFi) and GHOST IN THE SHELL
(12am, Fri, SciFi) resemble super-long cut-sequences from
PlayStation games - though they're often the best bits, aren't
they?... and C4 embarks on a long, wasted WITHNAIL WEEKEND (from
12.05am, Fri, C4), with the "cult" Richard E Grant shouting vehicle
at 11.15pm, Sat, plus a Kevin Bacon-like link to the pre-Powers
WAYNE'S WORLD (10.40pm, Sat, BBC1), where Ralph Brown all but
reprises his "Danny" role in the sequel... thanks to whistle-
blowers like http://www.templarlodge.com , we now know that
above-average sci-fi spin-offs like STARGATE SG-1 (7pm, Sun, C4)
are merely an AOL-backed CIA plot to foster belief in ancient
Egyptian gods and space aliens... again underestimating public
opinion, C5 settle for WIN BEADLE'S MONEY (7pm, Mon, C5) rather
than guaranteed ratings-winner KICK BEADLE'S HEAD IN... groping
for a plot even more preposterous than "Face/Off", John Woo
directs Dolph Lundgren in BLACKJACK (9pm, Tue, C5) - "a former US
Marshall turned bodyguard must overcome his phobia of the colour
white"... and uber-geek stand-up Simon "League Against Tedium"
Munnery hopefully serves up some hand-held vidcam construction
tips to enliven this year's run of Festival frolics, EDINBURGH
OR BUST (11.40pm, Thu, C4)...
FILM>> not so much "more of the same", but rather just "the
same" is the verdict on AUSTIN POWERS: THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME
(http://www.capalert.com/capreports/austinpowers.htm : fighting
including Springer type fighting; punk dress; machine gunfire
from the breasts of a fem-bot; dancing to entice; adult
underwear; suggestive eye movement; picture nudity; nudity under
sheets; Dr Evil sensually sucking his little finger; 1 use of
"Oh, thank God" after inspecting self for explosion damage to
genitalia; mockery of Christ - "The power of Christ compels you"
from The Exorcist). As in cult hit original, cleverly crude set-
pieces wallow in plotless, paceless mire, and Dr Evil eventually
steals the show, (though the songs were better in the first
one). Then again, all Bond films are exactly the bloody same, so
maybe that's what they're spoofing...
IT'S A SMALL WORLD (OF AMIGA) AFTER ALL>> well, we were
happy to come away with a UKP20 composite monitor and a hard
drive for the office A1200, but NTK's Amiga-owning readers
are, naturally, a more discerning bunch. EDD DUMBILL enjoyed
the free orange squash and choc-chip biscuits given away by
one exhibitor, reminding him of a "WI coffee morning", but
the most extensive coverage came from PHILIP "Groovy
Gadgets" CORNER http://www.aurora1.demon.co.uk/gadgets , who
we hand you over to, now, live from the floor... highlight
of the show is the first public display of OS 3.5, featuring
such revolutionary features as: printer drivers that drive
printers; icons that glow when you click them; an installer
that lets you go (shock) *back*!, and can open its window on
its own screen, which could be any colour; and an e-mail
client, internet stack and web browser which nobody will use
because we already have better ones. Turnout is good - about
300-400 people on Saturday alone, checking out treats like
working demo of Wipeout 2097 for Power Amiga, and Amiga girl
band Annex performing hits like "Back For The Future" and
"Keep The Momentum Going" - amusing mistranslated lyrics at
http://www.perez.de/annex/ . The winner of a brand new
one-off specially painted A1200 is not in the crowd when his
name is called, and neither is the second person... many
attendees seem unaware of the OS fiasco for the new machine,
by now immune to the apparent "Okay, we've got 18 months to
do this. No hurry. Anyone for a four player game of Worms?"
attitude of Amiga management. It looks like the AmigaNG will
be significantly diluted from its original grand aims,
becoming another doomed "me too!" PC-beater (!) like the
Acorn Archimedes. We don't need a machine to run Linux on;
I can already do that with the machine on my desk right now.
Gateway owner (and hence owner of Amiga technology) Ted
Waitt concludes that Amiga was "definitely not a computer
business". Hmm. Perhaps he thinks they're re-working all
those A1200 cases into novelty door-wedges...
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
It is registered at the Post Office as "looking forward to www.nkt.net"
[ http://www.wried.com ]
NEED TO KNOW
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