Review of '97, big TV, readers' efforts, Happy New Year!
Microsoft smacks back, OpenGL losses, Paarty!
Yahoo hacked, OpenGL victories, DOJ smack Microsoft
Cybersquatting blues, MSN puzzles, and the return of the FiReD
Bactel spurned, hackers liberated and the erotic olympics
Gates as Caligula, ISO Java and .NOT
FOOF bug, Easynet goofed, good food
E-on bust, Kashpureff nicked, Apple silly.
StrongARM tactics, laser ban,
Sci-Fi Con 2.0
Microsoft naughtiness, Quake II, Mark Leyner
Cassini, Survival Research Labs, SlashCon
Sun vs Gates, Pickering and the ZX Psion
Worldcom, IE4.0, and Negativland
Crypto weirdness, Easynet moneymaking and Win95 cracking.
Holiday Special #5
MiniNTK - by the seaside.
Holiday Special #4
MiniNTK - the nation mourns.
Holiday Special #3
MiniNTK - to "Di" for.
Holiday Special #2
MiniNTK - "the one with all the urls".
Holiday Special #1
MiniNTK - live from Mir.
HIP fallout, surveillance and kites.
Jobs & Gates, game.com and HIP '97.
Boys for the Jobs, Clan Negroponte and Sci-Fi Archaeologists.
LINX update, Virus wars, ECAL '97.
Internic spazzes, fibre slashes, and the dreaded Ecstacy
Amelio goes, NHS hate TTP, and Hard *ptuii* Wired.
Windows 98, Mars, and no "Independence Day" references.
CDA, Cousteau, Access All Areas the third.
Psion, Iridium, and Lee Harvey Oswald.
Comcast, Viewdata Revival Movement, Osmose.
Microsoft in Cambridge, Arthur C. Clarke Award, Earplugs
Sega/Bandai, Robert Anton Wilson, Perl Conference
Crypto, Ken Campbell, the Beeb. Michelle.
Final Beta - Rhapsody, MIDI Karaoke, Jimmy Hill.
Second Beta - BIB, The Hugos, Geek Golf.
First Beta - Brandname tattooing, bad Deep Blue predictions.
Appalling first efforts.
[Hi, Dave again. Much to everyone's surprise, Dan seems to have survived his Burning Man experience, though not to the extent of writing anything for this week. So, again, I should emphasise that this is *not* the real NTK, whose hard-hitting weekly tech news service will resume shortly. Think of this as an interesting experimental deviation where you can write in and say if there are any new features that you think we should include in the real thing. Or not, as the case may be.] __ __ _05/09/97 _ _ _____ _ __ <Nasty, British and Short> | \/ (_)_ __ (_) \ | |_ _| |/ / o Join! Mail 'subscribe ntknow' | |\/| | | '_ \| | \| | | | | ' / o to email@example.com | | | | | | | | | |\ | | | | . \ o Website (+ archive) lives at: |_| |_|_|_| |_|_|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\ o www.spesh.com/cgi-bin/now "POOH'S GRAND ADVENTURE: THE SEARCH FOR CHRISTOHPER ROBIN - An awful new installment into the Winnie The Pooh series is just a waste of time. Christopher Robin heads off to school, but the nieve [sic] bear thinks that he has gone missing, so he gathers his friends (all of which have seem to become more obnoxious), and heads out on a quest to find him. Stick to the older cartoons. 1/5." - another scathing critique from kids' movie newsletter ENTERTAINMENT ONLINE >> MINOR HAPPENINGS << major overkill Yes, the whole world mourned at a senseless tragedy that could so easily have been averted, but that's enough about APPLE's acquisition of Mac-cloner POWER COMPUTING... seriously, Di's death seems to have got quite a lot of coverage ("a real JFK moment... almost on the scale of the Challenger space shuttle blowing up", wrote one clearly moved NTK reader), and the British public showed its sorrow the only way it knows how - by forming enormous 14-hour queues... some branches of Tesco thoughtfully offered in- store books of condolence, presumably so you could get your mourning at the same time as your groceries but, on the net, it's a much finer line between public grief and just cashing in (http://www.haveyoursay.beeb.com/special/ - see the threads "An American Poet Pays His Respects" and, for some kind of perspective, "Totally Over the Top")... of course, as the apparent causes were *so* suspiciously obvious (The Independent juxtaposed "Net Users Quick To React To News Of Diana's Death" with a link to an online breathalyser), there was immediate speculation in many new newsgroups, including alt.conspiracy.princess-diana, uk.current-events.princess-diana, alt.princess.di.di.die, and alt.sex.necrophilia.royal-family... the grassiest knolls included "Di was the new Jesus-Messiah", "Di was offed by the UK's ailing florist industry", or even "in collaboration with the millionaire Al-Fayeds, she faked her death then went into hiding on the recently repaired Mir space station, where, Moonraker-style, she and Dodi plan to re-populate the earth with their shyly beautiful Eloi-like aristocratic offspring"... bonus of that last one is the extra claim that the body in the car "wasn't Di at all", but merely "one of Rory Bremner's uncannily accurate impersonations"... well, you can dream, can't you?... http://cnn.com/WORLD/9709/02/internet.conspiracy.reut/ - warns that "most [Di theories] are morbid and many probably wrong." They're not called CNN for nothing... http://www.navigation-station.com/princess-diana-conspiracy.htm - make mine a "landmine" IN OTHER NEWS... well, the official position is of course that there was no other news, enabling us to overlook the rumoured demise of DEFOREST KELLEY (he's probably fine, could just be obit writers wanting to use the line "It's worse than that, he's *dead*, Jim") - oh, and the Algerian government doesn't seem to done anything about the 300 inhabitants of Rais slaughtered in bed using axes... on the tech front, US lawyers OPPEDAHL & LARSON are suing other law companies who apparently nick their potential customers by putting the words "Oppedahl & Larson" into META tags for their rival pages so they pop up first on search engines. We say, good for O&L, as their page (http://www.patents.com) contains some of the rawest HTML we've seen for a long time. At least, we *assume* it's their page... LYCOS claim to have patented the web spider, but still, they let www.lycos.co.uk slip through their fingers, didn't they?... 3DFX finally get around to suing SEGA for breach of contract (obviously the first share price tumble wasn't enough, they now want to get *completely* squished)... oh, and for a positive spin on APPLE buys POWER, try www.macosrumors.com, which *still* manages to be pointlessly optimistic whatever happens. Hell, Cupertino could get nuked and they'd see it as a brave new dawn for Apple to geographically decentralise... >> TINY ANTI-NEWS << oh, you've heard In fact, this week's main Anti-News is that someone sent me some really good stuff, but I've left it on my other server - curse my failing memory... otherwise, it's business (or should that be 'anti-business'?) as usual: www.msnbc.com relaunches... apparently condolences of online celebs go straight to the tops of the lists... TOTALLY LIVE NEWS (at http://MusicCentral.msn.com) claims to be "relaunching", then completely disappears... folks at last getting wise to GOOD NEWS and its mutations - if only they'd do something about those bloody DARWIN AWARDS... rivalling even "Shamen To Release New Single On Internet" comes Anti-News classic #2: "New COLDCUT Album To Feature Interactive CD-ROM"... MACROMEDIA fiddled results to boost shares... COMPUSERVE currently still up for sale... >> MICRO CULTURE << stay in your homes Lots of stuff cancelled, including the KLF gig (till mid- October), though they have set up a premium phone line on 0890 900 2000 for "people having problems dealing with the millennium"... US cable network ROMANCE CLASSIC pulled a touring competition for a pair of Diana's gowns purchased at an auction at Christie's. The tour was called "A Dress To Di For"... Heinz's WEIGHT WATCHERS division was just too late for the direct mail part of its new campaign featuring Sarah Ferguson and the line: "It's the hardest thing, staying on a diet - harder than outrunning paparazzi"... just to end on an up note, The Daily Star's SEGA BABES promotion (page 3 girls dress as your favourite Virtua Fighter characters) has only been "postponed" till 15/09/97 >> TEENY TRACKING << guest edited by Yoz Grahame, Perl fan <FROTH> PERL! perl perl perl perl... O'Reilly have taken over www.perl.com from Tom Christiansen (the Son in the Holy Trinity) and made it actually look nice, as well as getting the Perl evangelism truck moving more (http://republic.perl.com/ ... at last, a usable logo!), shoving out a load more Perl books (more bibles!) but the best is the whizzy new Perl-to- Java compiler that will be coming out this autumn in the Perl Resource Kit (http://perl.ora.com/), furthering the work of the bizarrely-named-and-mad-with-it Alligator Descartes (http://perl-conf.songline.com/cgi-bin/p/guest.pl?x-a=v&x- id=419), which is mainly to get back at all those Java programmers who complain that Perl scripts look like you've opened a binary by accident - and then go on to write CGI "Servlets" that look like this: http://jserv.javasoft.com/products/java-server/ webserver/fcs/doc/servlets/sa mple.html#600 - I mean, look at it! You could do it in 4 lines! </FROTH> MACQUAKE did actually make it to the shops due to MacSoft picking up the baton from the late Lion Software; so go download the demo and play with the load of freebie MacQuake editors that have already come out. Still, the source code *is* pretty much freely available now - since Sega bought up exclusive rights for the Saturn, it looks unlikely there'll be an official Quake on the PlayStation (the platform of the people!). But we reckon it's just a matter of time till some hardcore console hacker knocks together their own dev kit and brings the public what the publishers cannot... http://www.brutality.com/macquake/ - c'mon, design some skins for the "Power Computing" clan http://box.argonet.co.uk/users/jgrant/qd/quake.htm - it's Quake - but on the Amiga! >> KIDDIES MEMEPOOL << don't have ideas - they'll have you Is free health education CD-ROM D-CODE just YOU DON'T KNOW JACK - *on drugs*?... new-look PENTHOUSE "not bad at all"... AI gets creative at www.imagination-engines.com (what, again?) - not to be confused with real tech at www.rocketusa.com ... PRIVATE EYE very good on Diana thing this week... the guy who killed Lord British in the ULTIMA ONLINE beta only did what anyone else would have, ie didn't report the bug, but ran around manically killing for all the points he could get... JAMES CAMERON to do TRUE LIES 2 before TERMINATOR 3... www.tired.co.uk to relauch - proprietor STEVE BOWBRICK claims *he* originated variant "Nasty, British and Short"... win B'OMARR MONK in quiz at www.starwars.hasbro.com ... email firstname.lastname@example.org with sinister text in message body, and where xxxx is the phone number of your most technophobic friend... >> MO' MEDIA << different time-slot TV>> it's going crazy here, so first, some of the bizarre schedule changes from last week. The curse of Airplane 2 struck again (last time it was due to be on, there was a plane crash), Lethal Weapon 3 was replaced by Field Of Dreams, Channel 4 pulled Rocko's Modern Life, and, more intriguingly, both a Sherlock Holmes film and Sergeant Bilko early in the week were "not the episodes advertised". A reader writes: "The potentially distressing sight, for example, of Lionel Atwill as Moriarty heading a Nazi spy ring dedicated to air-bombing London, was replaced with the soothing tale of a family systematically wiped out by needles thrust between the base of the skull and the second verterbra and up into the brain." Weirdest of all, however, was probably Sky editing just the word "paparazzi" from the Rosebud episode of The Simpsons. Sensitive or what? aaaaanyway, this week, don't hold out too much hope for Friday's actually quite fun FREEJACK (it starts with a car crash), though, ironically, they probably will show pseudo techno thriller VR5 (11.15pm, Fri, BBC2), which is rubbish... the lethal Saturday evening double death blow of GLADIATORS and BLIND DATE now must now wait till next weekend, probably ditto the ITV Sat films ANGEL OF DEATH and THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE... by way of prescient tribute to the (probably still alive) DeForest Kelley, John Peel repeats Trek songs and spoofs in TREKNOLOGY (6.45pm, Mon, BBC2), while EQUINOX moves to a new slot (9pm, Mon, C4), and this week looks at black holesssssssdgfasgf... oh, sorry, dropped off for a moment there... FILMS>> quirky Bette Midler romantic comedy THAT OLD FEELING was pulled for featuring an annoying photographer (no, really), but there's still MRS BROWN (not, we were disappointed to learn, a Somewhere In Time-style romance about Queen Victoria falling in love with the Billy Connolly of 100 years in the future), nice-but-dull legal thriller NIGHT FALLS ON MANHATTAN, or (our pick of the week), AUSTIN POWERS: INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY - the usual spot-on Mike Myers spoofery, could do with more Mimi Rogers (and less Liz Hurley), good in parts, but ultimately suggests that Mike's never seen Casino Royale - or maybe seen it *far too many times*... GAMES>> be interesting to see if they still release the astonishingly violent Chase HQ-style driving frenzy RAY TRACERS (Taito, PlayStation), or try and postpone it to take out the concrete pillars... the less emotionally hyperstable may prefer hauntingly beautiful trad two-player top-view shoot-'em-up RAYSTORM (again Taito, PlayStation), or much-needed trucks-and-destruction action from BLAST CORPS (N64)... releases are now picking up after a slow summer, so also watch for LOST WORLD (EA, PlayStation), SONIC JAM (Sega, Saturn), or, for real old-schoolers, GAME & WATCH GALLERY (Nintendo, Gameboy)... [Thanks to this week's special contributors: Y Grahame, J Nash, H Jones and 'Mil'. OK, right, what if Di was killed by a cabal of professional skeptics? You see, a month or so ago, the tabloids were full of psychics' supposed 'predictions' about the future for her and Dodi, and none of them - *none of them* - came up with anything like this - surely, the sort of thing that any half decent 'psychic' might have spotted...] >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is (usually!) an interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from their evil minds. It is registered at the Post Office as "truth hurts, don't it?". NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.spesh.com/cgi-bin/now Excuses - http://www.spesh.com/ntk Unsubscribe? Mail email@example.com with 'unsubscribe ntknow'. Subscribe? Mail firstname.lastname@example.org with 'subscribe ntknow'. NTK is helped by VIRGIN MEDIA, VENUS INTERNET and UNFORTU.NET. They worry about us, but we don't worry about them. (K) 1997 Special Projects. Non-biz copying ok, but retain SMALL PRINT. Tips, news and gossip to email@example.com.