|
NTK now with added t-shirt menaces |
|
|
NTK 2007 NTK 2006 NTK 2005 NTK 2004 NTK 2003 NTK 2002 NTK 2001 NTK 2000 NTK 1999 NTK 1998 29/12/97 #27 Review of '97, big TV, readers' efforts, Happy New Year! 19/12/97 #26 Microsoft smacks back, OpenGL losses, Paarty! 12/12/97 #25 Yahoo hacked, OpenGL victories, DOJ smack Microsoft 05/12/97 #24 Cybersquatting blues, MSN puzzles, and the return of the FiReD 28/11/97 #23 Bactel spurned, hackers liberated and the erotic olympics 21/11/97 #22 Gates as Caligula, ISO Java and .NOT 14/11/97 #21 FOOF bug, Easynet goofed, good food 07/11/97 #20 E-on bust, Kashpureff nicked, Apple silly. 31/10/97 #19 StrongARM tactics, laser ban, Sci-Fi Con 2.0 24/10/97 #18 Microsoft naughtiness, Quake II, Mark Leyner 17/10/97 #17 Cassini, Survival Research Labs, SlashCon 10/10/97 #16 Sun vs Gates, Pickering and the ZX Psion 03/10/97 #15 Worldcom, IE4.0, and Negativland 26/09/97 #14 Crypto weirdness, Easynet moneymaking and Win95 cracking. 19/09/97 Holiday Special #5 MiniNTK - by the seaside. 12/09/97 Holiday Special #4 MiniNTK - the nation mourns. 05/09/97 Holiday Special #3 MiniNTK - to "Di" for. 29/08/97 Holiday Special #2 MiniNTK - "the one with all the urls". 22/08/97 Holiday Special #1 MiniNTK - live from Mir. 15/08/97 #13 HIP fallout, surveillance and kites. 08/08/97 #12 Jobs & Gates, game.com and HIP '97. 01/08/97 #11 Boys for the Jobs, Clan Negroponte and Sci-Fi Archaeologists. 25/07/97 #10 LINX update, Virus wars, ECAL '97. 18/07/97 #9 Internic spazzes, fibre slashes, and the dreaded Ecstacy 11/07/97 #8 Amelio goes, NHS hate TTP, and Hard *ptuii* Wired. 04/07/97 #7 Windows 98, Mars, and no "Independence Day" references. 27/06/97 #6 CDA, Cousteau, Access All Areas the third. 20/06/97 #5 Psion, Iridium, and Lee Harvey Oswald. 13/06/97 #4 Comcast, Viewdata Revival Movement, Osmose. 06/06/97 #3 Microsoft in Cambridge, Arthur C. Clarke Award, Earplugs 30/05/97 #2 Sega/Bandai, Robert Anton Wilson, Perl Conference 23/05/97 #1 Crypto, Ken Campbell, the Beeb. Michelle. 16/05/97 Final Beta - Rhapsody, MIDI Karaoke, Jimmy Hill. 09/05/97 Second Beta - BIB, The Hugos, Geek Golf. 02/05/97 First Beta - Brandname tattooing, bad Deep Blue predictions. 21/03/97 Appalling first efforts. |
_ _ _____ _ __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the UK> | \ | |_ _| |/ / _ __ ____24/10/97_ o Join! Mail 'subscribe ntknow' | \| | | | | ' / | '_ \ / _ \ \ /\ / / o to majordomo@unfortu.net | |\ | | | | . \ | | | | (_) \ V V / o Website (+ archive) lives at: |_| \_| |_| |_|\_\|_| |_|\___/ \_/\_/ o http://www.ntk.net/ "There is no fine; nobody pays a fine." BILL GATES, on the threatened $1million-a-day DofJ charge - this explains Seattle's mysterious "empty library" syndrome >> HARD NEWS << singing the blues It's the scandal they're already calling "Gatesgate" (and if they're not, they should be): Janet Reno and her US Department of Justice claimed that MICROSOFT put pressure on COMPAQ and others to preinstall Internet Explorer on their machines - and threatened to stop their Win95 license if they didn't. (Forcing anyone to use Win3.1 is now recognised as "cruel and unusual punishment" in many US states.) Microsoft counter-claims that Explorer is actually an integral part of the operating system, as anyone who's tried to uninstall IE will confirm. Gates seems unconcerned - to a lavish degree - with the prospect of a $1M per day fine, but Microsoft are preparing for a real fight. For starters, they've updated their mail filters: every time something like this happens, reports the San Jose Mercury, the company is besieged with "teasing, dire and merciless" e-mails. "Have they taunted me? Yes. Of course," said one nameless employee. "And I guess I've responded at their level." That nameless employee could well have been Steve Ballmer, Vice President of Marketing, who was heard yelling "to heck with Janet Reno!" to anyone who'd listen. Expect he'll include that in the deposition. http://www.sjmercury.com/business/microsoft/react102297.htm - keep thinking "vesting party" guys http://www.usdoj.gov/atr/cases3/micros2/1237.htm - also available as a Wordperfect file - nice touch! Pulling out all the special moves, and only just in time: NINTENDO have dropped the price of the N64 by 50 quid to UKP99 (as predicted in NTK 12/9/97, and effective from today) - and if that's not incitement enough, they even plan to bring out some games for it. Before the cut, the PlayStation was said to be outselling the N64 by about 5:1, sending a clear message to Nintendo management: make your console more like the Sony - or else. So they've also slashed the software to around UKP50 a throw, and - genre fans will be pleased to hear - are also rushing out a load of indistinguishable beat-'em-ups and racing games. SONY maintain that they won't be copying the N64 price-point, and that their new "Xmas package" (PlayStation + 2 controllers + memory card) will stay at UKP129. But don't underestimate the power of a sub-100-quid console: last time Nintendo pulled a stunt like this, they got loads of free publicity - from all the "I just bought one and could have saved a packet" complaints on Watchdog. http://www.delaney.demon.co.uk/PSX/ - PlayStation titles: around 300. N64: around 30? http://www.geocities.com/WallStreet/4240/Beatles-Parodies.html - but with customer loyalty like this, who's counting? http://www.nintendo.com/product/n64/64dd.html http://www.users.rapid.net.uk/ja88/V64PAGE.htm - see, N64 disk drives: JUST LIKE THE PLAYSTATION! When COOL SITE OF THE DAY failed to announce an IPO in 1995, most people assumed it would go to the wall or, worse, be bought out by AOL for $6million, then go to the wall. But no - Glenn Davis' replacements are still trotting out that eclectic pick of hard-to-download, impossible to read, "ground-breaking" pages, and somebody, somewhere is still reading them, nodding sagely and maybe even taking notice of their COOL SITE OF THE YEAR AWARDS. By all accounts a more muted affair than previously, this year's prime sources of "Coolium" (their word) were declared on Wednesday to be THE ONION, THE FRAY, SALON and BEZERK, with REALVIDEO reaping the Cool Innovation title. GLASSDOG, THE BIG GUN PROJECT, and WATER also won, but we haven't *quite* got around to evaluating those sites yet, because we surf with images off. BEZERK's YOU DON'T KNOW JACK WEBSHOW won the overall Coolest Site - which just goes to prove that, sooner or later, CD-ROMs were going to come back into fashion. http://cool.infi.net/ whatever happened to Mirsky's Worst? http://www.fray.com/ disgruntled ex-employees of Wired Inc http://www.bezerk.com/ we're still under NDA about this http://www.salonmagazine.com/ quite good these days http://www.theonion.com/ funny. We hate them. http://www.glassdog.com/ "ground-breaking"/incomprehensible http://www.kia.net/maggy/ Web diary _ GREAT FUCKING IDEA!! >> ANTI-NEWS << news we knew you knew Internet "failed less" this quarter, study says... HATE SITES on the Web double in the past year, report seethes... www.hmv.co.uk "does not allow you to buy records"... MOTOROLA study shows 66% of parents believe it's *computers* that are making their kids anti-social and lazy... PRINCE CHARLES advocates alternative remedies, ignores new evidence that they have "no effect"... bookshop.co.uk sales up 90% - still makes loss... STOCK MARKET "steered by greed", uncovers author... Internet "popular in Japan"... BOND COVERS album "largely terrible"... SEGA and MICROSOFT alliance: developers now fist-fighting... Airline Pilots With Drunk Driving Convictions Are More Likely To Have Accidents, find scientists... prince.com case dropped... IBM offers employees a "voluntary separation program"... Indian Minister sprays 44,000 Goa citizens with DELTAMETHRIN, claims heard about treatment "on the Net"... >> EVENT QUEUE << busy ports When it comes to general practitioners of modern prose, the doctors are *in*. Former Doctor Who TOM BAKER (also known to radio listeners as the voice of Lionel Nimrod) winds down his "Who On Earth Is Tom Baker?" signings tomorrow (25/10/97) at Books Etc in Croydon and "Hammicks" in Redhill, then concludes Monday at the Guilford Literary Festival, University Of Surrey. As if regenerated into non- fiction form, NTK contributor Matt Bacon will be at London's Forbidden Planet on Sat to sign his coffee table expose of the JIM HENSON CREATURE SHOP (as plugged in current issue of The Face, along with a good bit of JC Herz's upcoming Joystick Nation). And sewing up the whole operation, would-be surgeon MARK LEYNER is, of course, "the most intense, and, in a certain sense, the most significant young prose writer in America." He's traversed the whole US plugging his new novel, The Tetherballs Of Bougainville, and seems to have abandoned his tour diary after just a week. Yet there's more drama in those 7 days than most so- called "novelist's" lifetimes. http://www.dcs.ex.ac.uk/~dma/ProfX/ - ask Tom which was his favourite "professor"_ www.nanothinc.com/Nanothinc/NanoPeople_Frames/npinfo/MattBacon.html - that's *Mr* Bacon to you nanotech weenies http://www.spesh.com/leyner/ - "execute my father, get high, and have sex with the warden" Hey! Ya Basta! Every desktop revolutionary's favourite post-modern guerrillas, the Ejercito Zapatista de Liberacion Nacional have a representative in town. Rosario Ibarra de piedra is a well known spokesperson for the Mexican Zapatistas, a presidential candidate and human rights activist. She'll be speaking - at short notice - today (Friday 24/10/97), 7pm GMT, at PRAXIS, Pott Street, London. www.eco.utexas.edu/Homepages/faculty/Cleaver/zapsincyber.html - For those of you that get NTK at 9pm : it was *great* http://www.streetmap.co.uk you'll be wanting a map, then >> TRACKING << upgrade your attitude The Quake II demo is out. As ever, it gives only the barest nuts-and-bolts glimmer of the glory that is to come. As ever, the Quake team are changing the final design based on people's comments on the test file. Before you say it, yes, the gun's going to be moved. And the deaths will be longer and noisier. THIS is what beta testing should be about. http://www.gamesdomain.com/demos/demo/q2_test.html - drown out those bleating Riven fans We do try out this stuff, you know. Well, almost always. We can't give you a review of the new beta of EUDORA 4.0, because the idea of handing our mail over to fresh software gives us the heebie-jeebies (maybe it's that whole IE 4.0 beta disaster still creeping us out). However, if you desperately need a usable IMAP client, or a better HTML parser for your e-mail, or really want to spend time learning a brand new interface re-think, by all means let us know what happens. By phone, preferably. http://www.eudora.com a new look for mail conservatives No interesting new software releases for Macs (everyone's busy with Rhapsody and printing out their CVs right now), but, hey, don't despair. Why not spend your time designing a MacOS8 button? Come on, it's what you Mac users are supposed to be *good* at. http://www.larisoftware.com/lovemacos8/buttons.html - only bitter because we didn't spot this earlier >> MEMEPOOL << hasta la altavista www.browse.net/techfelch/ ... STAR WARS Micro Fax(TM) books... Soldier of Fortune (new A-Team clone) features character based on CARMACK/ROMERO... www.3gcs.com/tron/ ... Viacom to VIRGIN INTERACTIVE: the clock is ticking... www.crocodile-clips.com/education/... there's now more data traffic between SWEDEN and the US than voice... "Better to keep BOROMIR alive, use him in later scenes"... average life of Web page is 75 days... okay, now what happened to ANDREW FLUEGELMAN?... MAX CLIFFORD moves into phonecards, telcos... www.mrmedia.com/ .... superprogrammers... JOHN DENVER was born in Roswell, New Mexico, 1943 - "experimental aircraft", hmm?... companies with millennium bug IN THEIR NAMES: 2000AD, 20th Century Fox, Grecian 2000... "The Prion Series 5"... what the hell is ABRASH doing working on the Word grammar checker?... new threat to self-images of young women: RENDERBABES >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> satire is officially dead, as RORY BREMNER (10.30pm, Fri, C4) returns with new material comparing Blair and Hague to Beavis and Butthead, plus another series of the same jokes every week in the (presumably rhetorical) HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU (10pm, Fri, BBC2)... this week's movie title to try to slip unnoticed into office conversation is Jackie Chan actioner THE YOUNG MASTER (12.45am, Fri, C4) - as in "I notice sir is dining with the *young masters* again tonight"... a lifetime of making superior trash like HALLOWEEN (11.15pm, Sat, BBC2) seems to have sucked the very life-force from director John Carpenter, one of several loose pages in CLIVE BARKER'S A-Z OF HORROR (10.30pm, Sat, BBC2)... it normally takes three hours to watch THE GODFATHER (11.45pm, Sat, ITV), but now they're showing it exactly when the clocks go back, so you can see the whole thing in two!... a topical outing for crusading journo classic ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN (11.25pm, Sun, BBC1), preceded by an OMNIBUS docu about how they brought down the Clinton, sorry, Nixon administration... so, can laconic US comic Rich Hall save JACK DEE'S SUNDAY SERVICE (10pm, Sun, ITV) from resembling an extended beer ad?... pretty ladies are the only reasons to watch either "erotic comedy" SIRENS (10pm, Sun, C4) or Brooke Shields' "sit-com" SUDDENLY SUSAN (11.45pm, Sun, C4)... increased sun-spots could interfere with electronics, weather systems etc, but even they couldn't cause an interesting edition of EQUINOX (9pm, Mon, C4)... shocked Unijet director discovers that his holidays are terrible, in weirdly named In-At-The-Deep- End-for-bosses series, BACK TO THE FLOOR (Tue, 9.50pm, BBC2)... HOCUS POCUS (8pm, Wed, ITV) is as cursedly evil as only a Disney version of The Witches Of Eastwick could be, but fortunately the "alien oil" returns to lubricate the clunky plots of THE X FILES (10pm, Wed, BBC1), in the two- part "Tungusksa"... MOVIES>> remarkably, we chose not to choose A LIFE LESS ORDINARY (imdb: romance / comedy) - those Trainspotting guys make a kidnapping-gone-wrong caper that's typically off-beat, quirky etc, though not particularly funny. It's even got angels in it, for heaven's sake... instead, there's THE PEACEMAKER (imdb: thriller), with George "ER" Clooney and Nicole "Batman Forever" Kidman battling an attempt by Spielberg's new Dreamworks studio to make a nuclear-sized bomb out of its effective, but unoriginal, first feature. Still, plenty of explosions, and should hopefully popularise the phrase "Take the shot!" as a trendy alternative to "Go for it!" or "Carpe diem!"... FEEBDACK >> RE: CASSINI - Lee <lee@wetware.demon.co.uk> ponders "waitaminute, dangerous nuclear probe, satellites, end of 1999 - why isn't Wim Wenders suing NASA over copyright infringement?" A video/merchandising tie-in?... RE: SURVIVAL RESEARCH LABORATORIES - Ben Moor <aai11@dial.pipex.com> complains "Austria couldn't have thought Serbia was invading, as they don't have a common border" - well, just shows how scary SRL must be, then... RE: FORMULA ONE '97 - Adrian Moulder <amould@hotmail.com> asks "If they don't get the rights, will the game now just be called '97?"... RE: STEPHEN FRY - James Coates <shag@delic.org> writes: "*I* designed the Oscar Wilde site, and we *have* got a CGI that produces witty epigrams - in audio, too! And can I plug www.heaven.affection.net/ again?"... not now James, we're busy - and anyway, we meant a CGI that produced *new* witty epigrams based on an analysis of Oscar's existing work. Get to it... >>CHRISTMAS CHWIZ<< ho ho hacks Our seasonal foray into Other People's Websites continues. Joy Jones <joy@corbeau.demon.co.uk> correctly identified last week's URL (we'd tell you what it was, but then we'd have to kill you). She wins a copy of Modified Chillas, the new Neil Gaiman graphic novel, a stuffed, squeaking Fin Fin and, naturally, an invite to our far-better-than-Cool-Site- Of-The-Year .NOT Award Ceremony. This week, we are using the limerick form, as perfected by Edward Lear and Frank Carson. There once was a site with an URL whose first, an pejorative, is hurled at a genre begotten by the vicious and rotten but now heard all "round the world" Remember, the site takes the form www.xxxx.com/now.html. And, just to prove that people *are* sending in URLs, we got this one last week. Thanks ...err, whoever. Full details of the competition remain at http://www.ntk.net/compo/ until the authorities catch on. >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know Now is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. It is registered at the Post Office as "read by government spooks". NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Excuses - http://www.spesh.com/ntk/ Unsubscribe? Mail majordomo@unfortu.net with 'unsubscribe ntknow'. Subscribe? Mail majordomo@unfortu.net with 'subscribe ntknow'. NTK now is helped by VIRGIN NET, VENUS INTERNET and UNFORTU.NET. They worry about us, but we don't worry about them. (K) 1997 Special Projects. Non-business copying is fine, but retain SMALL PRINT. Contact terry@spesh.com for commercial license details. Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com. |