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  • NTK 2007
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  • NTK 1999
  • NTK 1998
  • 29/12/97
    #27
    Review of '97, big TV, readers' efforts, Happy New Year!
  • 19/12/97
    #26
    Microsoft smacks back, OpenGL losses, Paarty!
  • 12/12/97
    #25
    Yahoo hacked, OpenGL victories, DOJ smack Microsoft
  • 05/12/97
    #24
    Cybersquatting blues, MSN puzzles, and the return of the FiReD
  • 28/11/97
    #23
    Bactel spurned, hackers liberated and the erotic olympics
  • 21/11/97
    #22
    Gates as Caligula, ISO Java and .NOT
  • 14/11/97
    #21
    FOOF bug, Easynet goofed, good food
  • 07/11/97
    #20
    E-on bust, Kashpureff nicked, Apple silly.
  • 31/10/97
    #19
    StrongARM tactics, laser ban,
    Sci-Fi Con 2.0
  • 24/10/97
    #18
    Microsoft naughtiness, Quake II, Mark Leyner
  • 17/10/97
    #17
    Cassini, Survival Research Labs, SlashCon
  • 10/10/97
    #16
    Sun vs Gates, Pickering and the ZX Psion
  • 03/10/97
    #15
    Worldcom, IE4.0, and Negativland
  • 26/09/97
    #14
    Crypto weirdness, Easynet moneymaking and Win95 cracking.
  • 19/09/97
    Holiday Special #5
    MiniNTK - by the seaside.
  • 12/09/97
    Holiday Special #4
    MiniNTK - the nation mourns.
  • 05/09/97
    Holiday Special #3
    MiniNTK - to "Di" for.
  • 29/08/97
    Holiday Special #2
    MiniNTK - "the one with all the urls".
  • 22/08/97
    Holiday Special #1
    MiniNTK - live from Mir.
  • 15/08/97
    #13
    HIP fallout, surveillance and kites.
  • 08/08/97
    #12
    Jobs & Gates, game.com and HIP '97.
  • 01/08/97
    #11
    Boys for the Jobs, Clan Negroponte and Sci-Fi Archaeologists.
  • 25/07/97
    #10
    LINX update, Virus wars, ECAL '97.
  • 18/07/97
    #9
    Internic spazzes, fibre slashes, and the dreaded Ecstacy
  • 11/07/97
    #8
    Amelio goes, NHS hate TTP, and Hard *ptuii* Wired.
  • 04/07/97
    #7
    Windows 98, Mars, and no "Independence Day" references.
  • 27/06/97
    #6
    CDA, Cousteau, Access All Areas the third.
  • 20/06/97
    #5
    Psion, Iridium, and Lee Harvey Oswald.
  • 13/06/97
    #4
    Comcast, Viewdata Revival Movement, Osmose.
  • 06/06/97
    #3
    Microsoft in Cambridge, Arthur C. Clarke Award, Earplugs
  • 30/05/97
    #2
    Sega/Bandai, Robert Anton Wilson, Perl Conference
  • 23/05/97
    #1
    Crypto, Ken Campbell, the Beeb. Michelle.
  • 16/05/97
    Final Beta - Rhapsody, MIDI Karaoke, Jimmy Hill.
  • 09/05/97
    Second Beta - BIB, The Hugos, Geek Golf.
  • 02/05/97
    First Beta - Brandname tattooing, bad Deep Blue predictions.
  • 21/03/97
    Appalling first efforts.
  • HARD NEWS
  • ANTI-NEWS
  • CULTURE
  • TRACKING
  • MEMEPOOL
  • MO' MEDIA
  • SMALL PRINT
 _   _ _____ _  __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the UK>
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            * HIP '97 FALLOUT * SURVEILLANCE WATCH * CLAN PRANKS *
           LET'S GO FLY A KITE * NEW SMART WEAPONS * PENIS BANDS *


              "Microsoft is like the invasion of the body snatchers.
          Every morning you wake up and find another of your friends
                                                       works there."
                                - BOB METCALFE, inventor of Ethernet
                   ...but how do we know you're really Bob Metcalfe?

                               >> HARD NEWS <<
                                 soft options

         The press had - literally - a field day at HIP '97, the
         open air Dutch hacking conference that took place last
         weekend. Endearing slice-of-life vistas were painted by the
         American news sites, who described it as "Hackstock", "a
         kind of politicised Burning Man", and a happy-go-lucky
         party of "happy campers". Unfortunately, in their eagerness
         to portray HIP as a bunch of technopagan loons, they did
         somewhat miss out on the hardcore security stories. Like,
         for instance, Chris Drake's overcoming of apparent security
         flaws in PGP 5.0 - demonstrating how your passphrase in
         plain text can end up in the Windows' swap file, for
         example. Or the way that when you change your passphrase in
         PGP, a backup copy of your secret keyring with the original
         passphrase remains on the hard drive. But, geeks with funny
         accents make for much more intriguing copy, no?
         http://www.spesh.com/hip97/    we know, we were those geeks
         http://www.ifi.uio.no/pgp/
                            and they'd just finished typing it in!
         http://www.ozemail.com.au/~netsafe/
                                  - Chris' ironically-URLed homepage
         http://www.nytimes.com/library/cyber/hackstock/hack-index.html
         - Lisa Napoli's ok-ok-it's-quite-good-actually coverage. Damn.

         Some 1,800 new cameras, covering every railway station and
         approach road in London, are to be introduced into the
         capital. The cameras are said (by the Evening Standard) to
         be of a very high quality, and there are rumours that
         they'll be using an automatic number plate recognition
         system too. Meanwhile, Harrogate councillors are discussing
         an application by spooky not-really-an-NSA-monitoring-
         station MENWITH HILL for three more radomes - the giant
         golfballs that host aerials able to intercept radio,
         satellite and telephone communications. Because Menwith
         Hill is subject to Crown privilege, the councillors have no
         powers to reject the application. And if they even try, we
         don't recommend them driving in to Westminster for a chat.
         http://caq.com/CAQ59GlobalSnoop.2.html
         - the kind of details you'll appreciate from Covert Action Q'ly
         http://wkweb1.cableinet.co.uk/sedley/wagg.htm
                           - that Bulger kid has a lot to answer for

         Seems like there's a still few places in the UK that aren't
         under 24-hour surveillance. On Wed 06/08/97, the
         experimental crop of oilseed rape at Tibs Hall Farm,
         Kingsbury was sabotaged. The crop was owned by the US based
         biotech corporation MONSANTO; the activists tore up the
         genetically engineered plants while "wearing protective
         clothing", and then mixed the debris with the surrounding
         crops. We're a bit divided about this: okay, direct action
         is always fun, but isn't this a great way of encouraging
         cross-pollination? And whatever happened to preserving
         biodiversity? It's all so *confusing*. Can someone please
         e-mail in and tell us what to think?
         http://www.envirolink.org/orgs/shag/genetix.html
                             - and that's why true geeks hate botany

         Can we spell gullible or what? We fell for last week's
         ersatz VONNEGUT commencement speech, and, admit it, you
         blinked at that SAMSUNG troll. But only the mighty ZIFF-
         DAVIS UK fell for the "RENAULT to sponsor UK Quake clan"
         tale. Perpetrator Kevin Johnstone (aka Rorshach, of The
         Quake Lords) exclusively told NTK that the rumour was an
         "elaborate hoax" to enliven a "stale and bitter" UK Quake
         scene; ZDNet presumably didn't check the details with, say,
         Renault, before running it. ZD also got the name of the
         Clan wrong, assuming it to be "Clanring" on the strength of
         the line "This ClanRing site is owned by The Quake Lords".
         Admittedly, we'd have believed the story too if they hadn't
         confessed - and we *still* think the logo looks good on
         those skins.
         http://www1.zdnet.com/uk/news/ns-2486.html
                         - apparently Daikatana's "really good", too
         http://web.ukonline.co.uk/quakelords/news.htm
                                    - "Papa?" "NicooOOOLLLLLGHHHHH!"


                               >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         Microsoft got cut-price stocks in Apple deal... latest
         edition of ESCAPE magazine purports to be a "special SEX
         issue"... "spreadsheets massively magnify tiny human
         errors" - NEW SCIENTIST... MS say Apple Alliance has no
         hostile intent - REUTERS... Psion, reliving old Sinclair
         roots, runs out of machines... Apple "does not believe it
         will return to profitability in the fourth quarter"... EAT
         SOUP to close... WIRED run *another* Myst cover... Apple
         Europe shipments fell 31%... stand-up comedy no longer
         funny, profitable, Edinburgh Fringe discovers... Drudge
         Report gets facts wrong, "professional" journalists
         horrified... Apple looks to Asia to boost sales (also eyes
         future Mars colonies)... Spamford's server mysteriously
         hacked, files deleted...


                                >> CULTURE <<
                          celebrate your inner geek

         Now then. KITES. This weekend sees the 5th East London
         International Kite Festival at Hackney Marshes, Homerton
         Road, E9. Saturday is set aside for the National Sport Kite
         championships, while Sunday is the more entertainment-based
         kitely pursuits. All weekend they'll be kite workshops,
         Rokaku kite fighting, team displays, and other cool stuff.
         Even if you don't make it during the day, we reckon you'll
         want to pop along at 8.45pm on Sat to see the
         "Pyrokitenics" demonstration. Call Jeremy Boyce at High As
         A Kite (0171 275 8799) for details, or mail:
         chris.matheson@dial.pipex.com

         A brief reminder that the in-all-senses-of-the-word-mental
         First Annual Mind Sports Olympiad is this weekend at the
         Royal Festival Hall. Details at the Website: we're just sad
         that they didn't include our suggestion of a friendly
         "psychological mind games" competition, where people battle
         ex-partners and work colleagues for control of each others'
         self-esteem.
         http://www.mindsports.co.uk/ - it's been a bad week, okay?
         http://www.spesh.com/cgi-bin/now?b=a97/now0704.txt&l=101#l
                             original story, before we got so bitter


                                >> TRACKING <<
                            we know where it lives

         Thought NTK was all net gossip and software upgrades?
         That's why we're pleased to bring you news of the Smart
         Target Activated Fire and Forget (STAFF) 120mm tank
         ammunition round, a next-generation "top-attack" munition.
         In US Army tests, prototypes "autonomously detected,
         discriminated, tracked and attacked Soviet-built T-72
         tanks" - the "top-attack" bit means "by flying over them
         and firing an explosively formed penetrator downward to the
         target". More fun facts from the military-industrial-
         entertainment complex lurk in the impressively analysis-
         free Cyber Times, a site that we returned to... 'cos
         they're doing a new version of their "Modified" desktop
         techno remix toy. Damn, maybe it *is* all software upgrades
         after all...
         http://www.modified.demon.co.uk/
               - we just like saying "millimetre wave radar that can
                                       withstand harsh gun launches"

         ... Talking of which (but only barely) - the beta of
         Frontpage 98 is now up on Microsoft site. Whoop-de-doo. And
         final version of Netcaster is to be available on Netscape
         site by early next week. Yaaaaaaawn. DirectX 5.0 now
         available for download. Slight flicker of emotion. Remember
         how exciting these Net upgrades used to be?
         http://www.microsoft.com/frontpage/
         http://www.netscape.com/
                  - Of course, that's when the programs still worked

         We take you now to Scandinavia, with its long long nights
         and fine traditions of assembler programming, alcoholism
         and demos that rock. We take you now to the same people who
         did all those impossible Amiga effects, as they turn their
         crazed gaze onto the Java virtual machine. We take you now
         to the terrifying yet potentially patent-infringing reality
         that is ... JAVA QUAKE!
         http://hem1.passagen.se/carebear/fraggame.htm
         http://www.vg.no/interaktiv/nettspill/index.html
                            - and the somewhat milder JAVA ASTEROIDS


                                >> MEMEPOOL <<
                              hasta la altavista

         cool new euphemism#1: "bedroom techno"... team knight
         rider... Tunisian customs insist R2-D2 has a passport
         before allowing into the country...  scientists learn how
         to control "El Nino"... Myron Krueger and his keyboard
         that's the size of a wall... cool new euphemism#2:
         "subscribing to dircon"... Bots with their own PGP keys...
         LineOne subscribers hit double figures... The Redneck
         Manifesto... microelectromechanical madness!... "The
         Reduced Heinlein Company presents"... just how out of date
         is AltaVista now?... (this->life)... movieoke... CHRISTIAN
         SLATER to face MIKE TYSON in cannibal face-off?...
         www.acme.com/labelmaker... cool new euphemism#3: BSE MAY BE
         transmitted "horizontally"... no, Be *Here* Now:
         www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Alley/1909/sounds.html


                                >> MO' MEDIA <<
                              drug of the nation

         TV >> ...never thought we'd say this, but tonight's ROOM
         101 (10pm, BBC2, Fri) sounds like a cracker, with
         intriguing guest-choice Terry Wogan condemning another show
         made by Hat Trick Productions - the loathsomely worthless
         Have I Got News For You... still, it is up against another
         top-notch episode of FRASIER (10pm, Fri, C4), this time
         involving Niles vs someone even dweebier than he is... ITV
         clearly agrees with NTK's glowing assessment of the "geek"
         episode of SABRINA: THE TEENAGE WITCH (5.20pm, Sat, ITV),
         as this is the second time they've shown it in the space of
         4 days... the weekend brings bad news for Asian Elvis fans
         as the 50th anniversary of Indian partition coincides with
         the 20th of The King's death - themed evenings all round...
         ARENA (10.40pm, Sat, BBC1) pays tribute to the late William
         Burroughs; C4 shows Naked Lunch next Fri; similar
         food/porn/insect themes are worked through in repeats of
         LIGHT LUNCH (Mon-Fri, 12.30pm, C4)... the LOGAN'S RUN movie
         (9.20pm, Sun, BBC2) is probably duller than its TV series
         spin-off (does Jenny Agutter keep her clothes on? what do
         you think?); but good to see them preserving the Ray
         Bradbury novels in book-burning dystopia FAHRENHEIT 451
         (12.05am, Sun, BBC2)... the rebels in the last (and best?)
         RENEGADE TV (11pm, Mon, C4) include night-club murderers,
         comics god Alan Moore, and some idiots who think an hour of
         interactive avatar "It's A Knockout" could possibly be 
         watchable ( www.channel4.com/renegadetv/heaven_hell/ )...
         so, for real pioneer spirit, check nerd-triumphant-turned-
         DIY-flight-fan Bob Cringely having an on-screen nervous
         breakdown in the all-too-appropriately titled PLANE CRAZY
         (10pm, Tue, C4)...

         MOVIES >> Well, there's SPEED 2, but The Onion says it all
         www.theonion.com/onion3201/speed2chart.html . Stay at home.

         BIO >> Ritalin is now being prescribed in vast amounts to
         children diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD),
         for which you should read either children who are too
         clever for the class and therefore disruptive, too stupid
         for the class and therefore disruptive, or just plain
         disruptive. CH.A.D.D. ( www.chadd.org ), a rapidly
         expanding, "nonprofit parent-based organization" for ADD
         sufferers and their parents in the USA, is a staunch
         advocate of Ritalin and receives 'donations' for its good
         work in raising public awareness from the drug company Ciba
         Pharmaceuticals. Guess who makes Ritalin? Ciba Geigy...
         Decade of the Brain, a publication of The National Alliance
         for the Mentally Ill ( http://www.nami.org/ ), reports that
         most elderly suicide victims pay a visit to their doctor in
         the week before committing suicide. The report suggests the
         problem is that doctors don't recognize depression in older
         people, but I think there's some kind of conspiracy going
         on... Talking of depression, 'venous leak syndrome' is
         something we men all know and love as one of the major
         causes of erectile impotence. Californian doctors have
         risen to the problem and come up with a solution in the
         form of a "fully adjustable penis band" (the BAND, not the
         penis, is adjustable). The band is said to differ from
         existing bands in that it is "self-adjustable". If you know
         what I mean...                          -  doctor@spesh.com


                             >> .VACATION.MSG <<

         You know how we pride ourselves on having no life? Well,
         for the next four weeks, we're hiring some. As a
         consequence, we'll try - even less hard than usual -  to
         cobble something together for the weekly NTK now, but this
         time, there are no guarantees. Whatever happens, we promise
         we'll make it all up to you in September, when there'll be
         news of a faster, stronger, better NTK, with more brutal
         ASCII for you to sneer at. In summary:
         Q. Are we going to sell out?
         A. If we are, we're getting the hell out. See you soon.


                              >> SMALL PRINT <<

    Need to Know Now is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
        happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
      on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
    nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
     It is registered at the Post Office as "telepathically uploadable".
                    ( http://www.urigeller.com/now.html )

                                 NEED TO KNOW
            THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
                  Archive - http://www.spesh.com/cgi-bin/now
                      Excuses - http://www.spesh.com/ntk

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                   Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com.
 
    
  • HARD NEWS
  • ANTI-NEWS
  • CULTURE
  • TRACKING
  • MEMEPOOL
  • MO' MEDIA
  • SMALL PRINT