[ NTK’s staff are currently holidaying on the stricken
Russian space-station, MIR. Normal service will be resumed
as soon as- NO, VASILY! YES, IT SAYS "RESTART THE MACHINE
AFTER INSTALLING" BUT - NO, THE OTHER PLU~~!! ~~!"~£!~£]
__ __ _22/08/97 _ _ _____ _ __ <Nasty, British and Short>
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|_| |_|_|_| |_|_|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\ o www.spesh.com/cgi-bin/now >> MINI NEWS <<
big f~!+ing deals
As at Apple, so with its imitators: Joel Kocher, former
president and COO of Mac clone-maker POWER COMPUTING quit
on Tuesday. Joel was last seen declaiming against Apple's
recent tardiness to hand out licenses for MacOS8 - still,
rumours instantly emerged that he’s up for the Apple CEO
slot. Could Jobs live with a CEO who's out to undermine his
every move? And vice-versa? Again? Meanwhile, Apple execs
were seen trying to find a replacement leader in, of all
places, ICELAND... A quicker way to break into the
Macintosh was discovered by an Australian hacker, who stole
the approx 8000 UKP prize in the Swedish 'Crack-a-Mac II'
challenge. For full details on how to sink the unsinkable:
MICROSOFT’S plan to avoid anti-trust suits by cunningly
investing in competitor companies (like Progressive
"RealAudio" Networks and Apple "Big in the Eighties"
Computer) seems to have backfired. Wily souls at the US’s
Justice Department have spotted that this isn't quite a
perfectly competitive market, and are now investigating the
Progressive and VXTreme deals. The Apple deal is also under
review - expect the searing results some time the next
>> TINY ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
LineOne to relaunch... Man says he patented motion capture,
claims millions... NetSol delete domain name, almost ruins
Web business (again)... "Internet progress seems driven by
sex" reports survey... digital cable launch date slips to
Spring ‘98... AOL user claims Burning Man is Waco-like
suicide cult... DVD-RAM makers fall out over formats... MIR
>> MICRO-CULTURE <<
celebrate your inner geek
The guys who put the Mumu back into music are back, back,
BACK! The K Foundation, better known as inspirational
prankster-bankruptees Jimmy Cauty and Bill Drummond, are to
present a one-off performance of '2K' at London's Queen
Elizabeth Hall on Sunday 2/9/97. The show will be 23
minutes long, naturally. The 10UKP tickets might still be
available if you telephone the Barbican box office on 0171-
- different Mute. Same arty rubbish.
>> TRACKING <<
we know where it lives
Yeah, you try tracking when you can't even stabilise your
own rotational velocity. Next week (assuming Foale and that
bastard Tsibliyev don't nick our places on the Soyuz),
we'll be adding a new Special Projects mailing list for the
hard-hitting, take-no-prisoners CRYPT NEWSLETTER, by our
favourite US computer underground reporter, George Smith.
In the meanwhile, try our sneak MO' MEDIA preview later on.
- Brock Meeks without that Wired sucking-up incident
- anyone for Plan B?
>> KIDDIES' MEMEPOOL <<
Origin's public beta of Ultima Online hits a problem -
someone's already killed off Lord British... FIFA in
Widescreen... http://mars.sgi.com/rover/roversongs.html ...
Inspector Gadget: The Movie... never mind those losers in
"The WELL"; anyone like to start a mailing list for "The
SICK"?... Wipeout 64?... Starfish's credit-card organiser:
at last, the wrath of Kahn... www.paperdisk.com ... VRML
now in MPEG4 - nice BAPS... www.spesh.com/demo/marsflyr.exe >> MO' MEDIA THAN USUAL <<
is the TV off for any particular reason?
TELEVISION>> the always amusing Lilith pops back in FRASIER
(10pm, Fri, C4) and, yes, that is a young Dana "Wayne's
World" Carvey co-piloting the movie version of BLUE THUNDER
(11pm, Fri, LWT)... the cast of HOUSE GANG (6.35pm, Sat,
C4) may have learning disabilities, but they're still a lot
more watchable than Hollyoaks... CONFESSIONS (7.10pm, Sat,
BBC1) is getting more and more grippingly entertaining, but
ARACHNOPHOBIA (7.55pm, Sat, LWT) is garbage, just like
SPIES LIKE US (3.10pm, Sun, LWT)... magicians pull off some
supposedly 'paranormal' stunts to celebrate the return of
EQUINOX (8pm, Sun, C4), and there's another chance to see
weirdie sitcom EERIE INDIANA (10am, Mon-Fri, C4), starting
with the neat Tupperware episode... Tim Burton and Joel
Schumacher could learn a lot from the camp excesses of the
original BATMAN movie spin-off (12noon, Mon, C4)...
apparently IT'S ULRIKA! (10.15pm, Mon, BBC2) - it's
"terrible!", more like... the Nazis win WW2, so the Yanks
ask for a re-match, in the time-twisting PHILADELPHIA
EXPERIMENT 2 (11.05pm, Tue, BBC1)... tragically no chance
of Bob Cringely-style breakdowns in new aviation series THE
AIR SHOW (8pm, Thu, BBC2)... and it's the usual pretentious
know-nothings awarding THE MERCURY MUSIC PRIZE (12midnight,
Thu, BBC2), so make it a family occasion with HANNAH AND
HER SISTERS (11.50pm, Thu, BBC2) - like every other Woody
Allen film beautifully combined into one...
MOVIES>> ...unfa_iliar with y/ur W~stern movie stars, this
week we specially choose to describe films using their
category descriptions from the glorious people's Internet
Movie Database... first we think must be EVENT HORIZON
("sci-fi" - thanks, IMDB), combining black hole physics
with old-fashioned haunted house spookiness, and
enthusiastically directed as an Alien homage by Paul
"Shopping/Mortal Kombat" Anderson... ROMY AND MICHELE'S
HIGH SCHOOL REUNION (comedy / 1980s / class-reunion)
retreads some Grosse Pointe Blanke ground, this time with
cute Clueless-y stuff from Lisa Kudrow (off Friends), Mira
Sorvino (off Mighty Aphrodite) and Janeane Garofalo (off
Larry Sanders) - but a very bizarre mid-section and Brit
twat-pack actor Alan Cummings as geek made good? As *if*...
then finally, for all you arty Nine Inch Nails fans, LOST
HIGHWAY (mystery / mechanic / saxophone / erotica / car /
endless-loop / meta-film / jail / jealousy / lesbian-scene
/ insanity / murder / time / sexuality / psychological /
surreal / capital-punishment / impotence) is nutty David
Lynch up to his old tricks again (like you hadn't guessed),
painting striking scenes with Bill Pullman and Patricia
Arquette, but making even his previous stuff (Twin Peaks,
Wild At Heart) seem coherent and worthwhile...
CRYPT>> The declarations of US think-tank mandarins always
make for good reading. Take Mary C FitzGerald, fellow of
the influential HUDSON INSTITUTE and a self-confessed
"computer illiterate". Doesn't mean she can't pronounce on
infowar, though. The Russians, she revealed recently,
intend to use computer viruses delivered over the Net to
smite the West in time of war. As proof of the viability of
the plan, FitzGerald cites the story of a computer virus,
written by the US military, that struck down Iraqi air
defense computers in the Gulf War. Info gleaned from a
secret military de-briefing? Hardly. Dating back to an
April 1991 issue of INFOWORLD magazine, the Gulf War virus
story was a joke by reporter John Gantz. Gullible editors
at US NEWS & WORLD REPORT subsequently immortalized it in
their 1992 book on the conflict, "Triumph Without Victory",
and thence it travelled to several US Defence Department
papers. Unsurprisingly, FitzGerald refused to believe it
was an April Fool. The Russians believed it; experts from
Lawrence Livermore believed it; officials from Northrop
Grumman believed it, she said. So she believed it, too...
Information warfare soldier-kooks at the USAF's College of
Aerospace Doctrine have coined the term "fictive
environment" to describe what happens when bogus tales are
spun to deceive the enemy. Ironically, FitzGerald is an
adjunct professor in strategy at Maxwell. At Crypt News, we
don't call this "fictive environment". We call it being
gored by your own bull. - firstname.lastname@example.org >> .VACATION.MSG <<
Okay. We admit it. We're not on Mir. In fact, we're in an
industrial estate in Southampton, typing this on a 486 in
an office where we shouldn't be. It's nearly midnight, and
we don't know how to get past the firewall, the fire-alarms
or the security staff - who have no idea who we are. Next
week, Danny is in the middle of the Black Rock Desert, and
Dave, scared and alone, is threatening to do an ingenious
parody of everything we'd normally put in.
So - do you think *you'd* be able to tell?
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know Now is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
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NEED TO KNOW
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