_ _ _____ _ __ <*the* week^H^H^H^Hfortnightly tech update for the uk>
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Tips, news & gossip to email@example.com - with NTK in subject line, cheers.
"Further to the Orange release that was sent out this morning,
we wish to point out that the header for some of you read as
'TALK NOWT', when it should have read 'TALK NOW'.
The extra 'T' appeared due to the trademark 'TM' sign, not
being able to appear in it's true form when using applications
such as Lotus notes.
We apologise for any inconvenience caused."
- ORANGE targets thrifty Yorkshire folk with pioneering
"Talk Nowt, Text Nowt, Pay Nowt" tariff, as reported by
http://www.unstrung.com/document.asp?doc_id=58719 >> HARD NEWS <<
Can people please stop taunting the STUART CAMPBELL? People,
in this case, being the foolish combines behind PIRACY IS A
CRIME, the Jonathan Ross-led campaign to stop people being
ripped off by VideoCD-toting flea market spiv^Wterrorist
paramilitaries. Perhaps tipped off by the campaign's logo -
which anyone over 25 would recognise as the "Jimmy Hill!
Chin-chin!" sign for impending Big Fibs, Campbell went on
the investigative warpath. His armchair decon-destruction of
the "Industry Trust for IP Awareness (Limited)"'s scare-
mongering is uncompressable: from Word-metadata viewing
on their press release to discover them wisely toning down
claims of "proof" and sexed-up "dossiers of evidence", to
upping the gamma on the faux ad images of pirated DVDs, to
dredging through *the entire report* to pick apart every
tenuous connection between piracy and organised crime,
Campbell wreaks his traditional havoc. Dammit, "The Man"
should have kept him imprisoned in Digitiser while they had
- the game is afoot
- the "45 minute claim" of warez
- the link you'll forward to your friends bored of your IP rants
- chinny *reck*on
>> EVENT QUEUE <<
GOTOs considered non-harmful
Last time we mentioned something like this, someone who went
reported that the best thing was seeing "how many of the
[music industry] old-school are going to get it in the arse if
they refuse to see how screwed they are". If that's your idea
of a good night out (metaphorically speaking, of course), then
you may also enjoy the-Monday-after-next's Music-Ally debate
PR AND P2P - THE PERFECT ANTIPIRACY PITCH (6pm, Mon 2004-09-
13, Guardian Newsroom, 60 Farringdon Road, London EC1R,
tickets usually UKP45 to non-members but free to the first 6
readers who mail events@MusicAlly.com with NTK in the subject,
max 2 tickets per application). Speakers include PR moguls Tim
Duffy, Jez Frampton and Mark Borkowski (plus the Guardian
Unlimited's Neil McIntosh), who'll be pondering whether RIAA-
style suing of music downloaders might turn out to be a
similar "PR disaster" if the BPI started doing it in this
country. Apparently straddling both camps is CARBON/SILICON
(on tour from Wed 2004-09-15, see site for times and venues),
the new project from Sigue Sigue Sputnik bassist and visionary
Tony James (plus some guy who used to be in The Clash), whose
lyrics include the sentiments "I just surfed right down your
street/ sampled your tune, stole your beat/ that's the way the
bytes go round/ they make the revolution sound", and yet whose
site (at time of writing) currently contains exactly no MP3s
of what they might actually sound like.
- featuring guest vocals from Baroness Susan Greenfield?
- hey, lower CD prices seems like a substantial PR victory
>> ANTI-MEMES <<
contains a source of http://snackspot.org/ [an experimental hybrid section now we're sticking all the
dohs at http://dohthehumanity.com/ - this week: e-commerce
special]... hilariously patronising "if Microsoft made mobile
phones" spoof: http://www.microsoft.com/windowsmobile/about/ -
hang on a minute... certainly feeling "bewildered" and
"inadequate" by the time they get to definition of "Alias":
... semi-random Google goofs of the month: communtication,
"household mame"... you tell me: are my router heatsinks "hot"
- or not? http://www.ratemynetworkdiagram.com/ ...
>> TRACKING <<
sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering
Is anyone else just mailing themselves their invites so that
they can have more space on Google Mail? For those of you
with no friends, but an ability to mug people for a Gmail
account, comes "gmcp.pl", which is a command line file
transfer program that uses your Google Mail account as a
simple data store. Yes, yes, we know *all* about the ones
using it as a filing system, but we like this more because
a) it's a simple Perl script with minimal dependencies, b)
there's a chance we might actually use it, and c) when Google
breaks it, it looks simple enough to fix. Also, it's more fun
than just mailing yourself the file.
- we should plug more <450 line scripts
- oh, alright, have the clever-clever version
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
get out less
TV>> Friday's double-bill featuring Michelle "The Book Group"
Gomez starts with inspiringly titled Simon Nye sitcom CARRIE
AND BARRY (9pm, Fri, BBC1) and continues with zany "from the
makers of Smack The Pony" hour-long hospital surrealism THE
GREEN ROOM (9.30pm, Fri, C4)... the deliberate anachronisms
are amusing, the fight sequences bloody awful, in typically
Hollywood-ised Chaucer adaptation A KNIGHT'S TALE (9pm, Sat,
C4)... and "Haplessly directed - inscrutable!" remains our
favourite critique of BATTLEFIELD EARTH (11.15pm, Sat, ITV)
http://www.lermanet.com/reference/BatEarthfaq2.htm ... the
"7-11" anniversary cash-ins kick off early with Amanda Platell
disaster-management gameshow CRISIS COMMAND: COULD YOU RUN THE
COUNTRY? (9pm, Sun, BBC2), cheesy transatlantic counter-
terrorism co-production THE GRID (9pm, Tue-Thu, BBC2), plus a
roundup of THE 9/11 CONSPIRACIES (9pm, Thu, C4) - or host of
unfortunate "coincidences", as the evidence increasingly
... back in the real world, Saffron "Deep Blue Sea" Burrows
battles a time-travelling toilet in experimental split-screen
digital drama TIMECODE (12.40am, Mon, C4)... it's a shame
firefighter soap STEEL RIVER BLUES (9.30pm, Wed, ITV) wasn't
titled "London's Burning 2: Fetch The Engine"... and
sycophantic "Top Gear" sidekick Richard Hammond presents an
entire series of investigations which will be shown to future
generations to illustrate how naive humans once were, starting
with SHOULD I WORRY ABOUT - MOBILE PHONES? (7pm, Thu, BBC1)...
FILM>> dodgy CGI, dodgier prosthetics, and the distracting
presence of Niles Crane as a fish-man C3P0 don't do many
favours for oddly unsuspenseful monster mish-mash HELLBOY
( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/hellboy.htm : monstrous
demon action violence; statue nudity; smoking, repeatedly;
other than Jesus unlocking the gates of Hell; after seeing
this film, they who have an undeveloped or underdeveloped
understanding of the Gospel and the Scriptures will now have
yet another battle to contend with)... Will "Elf" Ferrell
links to some entertaining (albeit disjointed) sketch scenes
in next week's role of ANCHORMAN - THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY
( http://www.ahafilm.info/movies/mr.phtml?fid=7594 : The biker
picked up the dog and carried her toward the railing, but
actually kicked a stuffy - an artificial stand-in for the
animal - off the bridge; "Nutty" the waterskiing squirrel was
stock footage purchased by production)... while that photo in
The Face of NTK's "Dave Green" with marshmallows stuffed in
his mouth was presumably, in retrospect, a homage to the
poster for McDonald's-baiting "all you can eat" docu SUPER
SIZE ME http://www.ff.org/images/trayliner.jpg ( BBFC: Contains
one use of strong language and surgical detail)...
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
Registered at the Post Office as
"To be honest, kind of wondering that ourselves"
NEED TO KNOW
THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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