__ __ _2004-01-02 _________ __
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[ Oh of course *technically* you're back at work, just like
we're *technically* back at work. But really it doesn't
count until our hands have stopped shaking and the "star
field" screensaver doesn't make us feel sick. Until then,
here's our semi-traditional Old Year's Quiz. "It's just for
fun", as they say, and for limited values of fun at that.
Answers next week, when we have time to make them up. ]
>> BLOCK QUOTE <<
who said this about what?
"So what's worse than a rich guy who creates format
protocols that are sticky, has a high flow weblog, and a
fellowship at Harvard? Not much."
"An alcoholic, a BigCo employee and a 16 year old kid"
"Most Brits that I spoke with had never used the Internet"
"What are they going to do next? Start putting chips in
people to make sure we are eating properly?"
"Then for whatever reason the pictures then became part of
the desktop and filled up the whole screen. Then I started
to panic, thinking the pictures would perhaps go anywhere
else on the computer that they shouldn't."
"I'd be there too, but my head would be a casio keyboard and
when I got angry it would play the demo."
"Whenever someone thinks that they can replace SSL/SSH with
something much better that they designed this morning over
coffee, their computer speakers should generate some sort of
penis-shaped sound wave and plunge it repeatedly into their
skulls until they achieve enlightenment."
"It was a girl who answered! They know our weakness!"
"You got your STM/ over 1310/ You got your SRP/ which is DPT"
"Peter Jackson?... Who do you think you are, you fucking
hack? ... SHAME ON YOU!"
"That's all right Caucasians, your time is coming"
>> ANTI-GONE <<
to which dearly departed do these falco euphemisms refer?
Dispatched, is now out.
A Friend of Dead.
Has vanished below "erotic furries" in the hierarchy.
Now more luggable than ever.
He has been inserted into a higher table.
Still winning those continually outdated web page awards.
>> TRACKING <<
where would you find:
A game whose idea is "to perform various moves on breasts?"
A "Dow Jones Industrial Average of end time activity"
At least two notations for describing sexual positions.
A place to ask (futilely) how to melt wood and polos?
A Spectrum emulator for the ZX 81?
A book explaining how Microsoft is an instrument of God?
>> MEME SILAGE <<
what was (or were)?
Ginny, or Ninny, or "Peter's Peg"?
EDOOFUS and EBUTTHEAD
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
get out less
TV>> as well as "explanations" that seem to take even longer
than the film does http://www.kubrick2001.com/ , 2001: A SPACE
ODYSSEY (11.30pm, Fri, ITV) still makes it funny to say "My
mind is going, I can feel it" when swapping PCI or SIM cards
... it's traditional 2D animators who ended up fleeing Earth
after Don "Dragon's Lair" Bluth's scifi epic TITAN AE (9.25am,
Sat, ITV)... while Katie Holmes must choose between Jack
Osbourne in DAWSON'S CREEK (1.55pm, Sat, C5), Michael Douglas
in WONDER BOYS (10pm, Sun, BBC2), and Tobey Maguire - again -
in THE ICE STORM (2am, next Fri, C5)... cheery old Christopher
Hitchens hosts THE STATE OF TEXAS (8pm, Sun, C4), part of a
Texas-themed season which also sees a PLACE IN THE SUN family
(8pm, Mon, C4) thinking about relocating to what is elsewhere
described as AMERICA'S FATTEST CITY (9pm, Sun, C4)... as THE
BIG QUESTION (7.30pm, Mon, C5) sees scientific luminaries -
Hawking, Dawkins, Greenfield, Kroto - tackling the universe's
greatest mysteries, which in Dawkins' case (on Wed), must
surely include "Couldn't he come up with a better rebranding
than that?" http://www.csicop.org/doubtandabout/brights/ ...
"Big Brother" producers Endemol once again risk violating the
Geneva Convention in sleep-deprivation marathon SHATTERED
(10pm & 11.35pm, Sun-Fri, C4)... other "scientific" gameshows
include "build-'em-up, knock-'em-down" challenge DEMOLITION
DAY (6.30pm, Sun, C4) plus a "space exploration" ROUGH SCIENCE
(7.30pm, Tue, BBC2)... just as CRAFTY TRICKS OF WAR (8pm, Tue,
BBC2) has to get round to pykrete aircraft carriers eventually
FILM>> like a belligerent blue-collar countercultural "Curb
Your Enthusiasm", at least 4 different actors - including
himself - help recreate the feelgood misanthropy of R Crumb-
collaborator/ proto-blogger Harvey Pekar's AMERICAN SPLENDOR
( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2003/american_splendor.html :
Harvey is confrontational with David Letterman on his TV show
and comes off as having a bad attitude about himself and
others; Some kids might want to imitate Harvey's bad/surly
attitude just to irritate others and/or think they're being
funny)... the Farrellys mock conjoined twins, stand up for
retards http://www.filmthreat.com/Reviews.asp?Id=5268 in STUCK
ON YOU ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/stuckonyou.htm :
[Gilbert O'Sullivan's "Alone Again, Naturally"] is a sad song
that also, by the way, not only uses God's name in vain but
tries to torment and belittle Him as well; Unless your funny
bone finds comedy in antics such as one of the brothers having
immoral intercourse [Rom. 13:13] while the other listens to
music, there was little entertainment value to this film)...
which means there's just time for NTK's hotly awaited "Top Ten
Films Of 2003 Which - With Occasional Exceptions - Didn't
Make It Into Anyone Else's Top Ten", namely - 10: BAD BOYS 2,
9: DAREDEVIL, 8: EQUILIBRIUM, 7: MATRIX REVOLUTIONS, 6: THE
CORE, 5: SPUN, 4: SPELLBOUND, 3: FINAL DESTINATION 2, 2:
TERMINATOR 3, 1: FINDING NEMO - plus our equally anticipated
"disasters and disappointments" round-up: SOLARIS, ADAPTATION,
X-MEN X2 X-MEN UNITED, DIGBY GOES DOWN, CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL
THROTTLE, MATRIX RELOADED, KILL BILL VOLUME 1, THE LEAGUE OF
EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN, LARA CROFT TOMB RAIDER AND THE CRADLE
OF FILTH, and - of course! - ANYTHING WITH RACHEL WEISZ IN...
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
Registered at the Post Office as
"because we're... not a blog?"
NEED TO KNOW
THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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