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NTK now with added t-shirt menaces |
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NTK 2007 NTK 2006 NTK 2005 2004-12-10 #350 Patents, presents, privacy 2004-11-26 #349 Google recruits, history refuted 2004-11-12 #348 Geowanking for plugins 2004-10-29 #347 McCandless and Brooker - together at last 2004-10-15 #346 Web 2.0, Stirling Albion - Nil 2004-10-01 #345 Jumping the shark, gun 2004-09-17 #344 Foo, Foo, Alan Sugar, McGrew 2004-09-03 #343 Piracy good, not bad like you thought 2004-08-20 #342 Google boner, kick out the MD5 2004-08-06 #341 Yo Robot, Carry On Camping 2004-07-23 #340 from Odeon to Od-Iain 2004-07-09 #339 Browser Wars II - Electric Boogaloo 2004-06-04 MiniNTK #30 Not the NotCon final Schedule 2004-05-28 #338 Peek-a-boo Barney, Charles III "in charge" 2004-05-21 #337 Hey, Hey, Software Pa(tents) - slight reprise 2004-05-14 #336 A wip-woawing Widdecombe wollercoaster wide 2004-05-07 #335 A prawn sandwich and a BBC Micro 2004-04-30 #334 Eternal Sunshine of the Wireless Find 2004-04-23 #333 PayPal, piracy to "destroy society" 2004-04-16 #332 Loads more Gatesions, all-geek radio 2004-04-09 #331 Easter NotCon speaker hunt 2004-04-02 #330 The mass Onion-isation of pretty much everybody 2004-03-26 #329 LOAFs of spam, wifi settees 2004-03-19 #328 state of the "nanny state" nation 2004-03-12 #327 EU Ew-yew, pseudo- edutainment 2004-03-05 #326 SCO bandits, eBaywatch 2004-02-27 #325 Tidgy fridges, didgeridoos 2004-02-20 #324 ConConUK, Space 0.64 miles per second 2004-02-13 #323 All Tim O'Reilly, all the time 2004-02-06 #322 info on ebay scams only $10 2004-01-30 #321 the site now running on platform - well, whatever platform you like... 2004-01-23 #320 spam vs spam, Lisp to Perl 2004-01-16 #319 Name-calling, nuclear lan parties 2004-01-09 MiniNTK #24 Even more unpopular answers 2004-01-02 MiniNTK #23 Unpop quiz NTK 2003 NTK 2002 NTK 2001 NTK 2000 NTK 1999 NTK 1998 NTK 1997 |
_ _ _____ _ __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the uk> | \ | |_ _| |/ / _ __ __2004-03-19_ o join! sign up at | \| | | | | ' / | '_ \ / _ \ \ /\ / / o http://lists.ntk.net/ | |\ | | | | . \ | | | | (_) \ v v / o website (+ archive) lives at: |_| \_| |_| |_|\_\|_| |_|\___/ \_/\_/ o http://www.ntk.net/ "AOL reported that the number of AOL subscribers in the US fell by 2.2m in 2003, from 26.5m at the end of 2002 to 24.3m at the end of 2003. AOL blames the decline on an exodus of punters from its service..." - http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/22/36278.html ...yup, that might have a thing or two to do with it >> HARD NEWS << no "why do you...'s"? The BBC, The Register, New Scientist and all fell over themselves this week to promote "NannieBots", a set of "self-replicating" bots to fight chatroom "grooming". These bots, relays their master Jim Wightman, guard kids' chatrooms from predators, and "behave like humans, sound like humans... but with one massive difference - they never sleep". The idea of handing over your kids' safety to Eliza the Psychiatrist may not be that reassuring. But don't worry - these bots use "neural networks" to become "the most advanced artificial intelligence in the world"! Looking through the transcript of a NannieBot/Human interaction in New Scientist, maybe he's right. Certainly this "IT consultant from Wolverhampton in the West Midlands" has either managed the greatest step forward in Artificial Intelligence since Marvin Minsky scraped a pass in the Turing Test - or this was a very carefully rigged demo. In the transcript given, NannieBot seems to be able to make logical deductions, parse colloquial English, correctly choose the correct moment to scan a database of UK national holidays, comment on the relative qualities of the Robocop series, and divine the nature of pancakes and pancake day. We look forward to the NannieBot sweeping the board at this year's Loebner Prize. Either that, or journalists to stop suspending their disbelief whenever someone starts waving a paedophile on a string. http://www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?id=ns99994783#bot - extraordinary claims: meet extraordinary evidence http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/4/36381.html - "plausible... would welcome financial support" Make $$$ with $ocial $oftware! Money-for-public-good-hackers fundraiser MySociety have at last addressed their "not actually having any money" hindrance by scoring a cool UKP250,000 from the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister's "e-Innovations" initiative this week. That means that the five projects you may have argued for look like they could be funded to completion. The money *is* trickling down through the filter of a West Sussex County Council partnership, which may make things more complex (for instance, as well as the MySociety projects, the money will go on "a centre of excellence for the continued development and maintenance of community engagement online solutions" - although that could just be govtalk for a wiki). Whatever - it's got to be better than the half-a-teabreak EDS would have spent the government cash on. Also interesting are the other initiatives that got spondoolicks: a wifi network for CCTV's in Westminster (500K UKP), Rossendale, Lancs' stab at moving to open source software (500K UKP), and a Newham project to create an open source implementation of TV over IP (460K UKP). Looking forward to seeing the meta-hacks for those babies. http://www.localegov.gov.uk/page.cfm?pageID=856&Language=eng - and this, gentlemen, is what gets you the big bucks http://www.mysociety.org/cgi-bin/moin.cgi/FundingQuestions - e-Innovations not just for Ians, Lee and Herring fans http://www.localegov.gov.uk/page.cfm?pageID=668&language=eng - there's money in them thar SMS in the community initiatives We never quite got round to creating an "Appointments" section in NTK (yes, "Disappointments" might be more our style), but here's another way you might get a whiff of all that public cash kicking around - West Sussex's FUTURE SOMETHING PROJECT is looking for 4 new media-ish freelancers to lead small teams of "at risk" young people in the design of, well, presumably something "futuristic" over the next 10 months. Your availability would need to be 2 days/week for a total of 80-90 days, at a daily rate of UKP200 - but you'd need to email andy@artswork.demon.co.uk with a "1-2 page proposal of interest and a current CV/ examples of work" pretty fast, as the deadline for applications is midnight next Tue March 23rd. There's a bit more info on the site - but not too much on just what sort of "Future Something" they've got in mind, so feel free to borrow our off-the-cuff ideas of: that one-hit wonder band who did "Breakfast at Tiffany's" (Deep Blue Something), a Bananarama-based speech synth (Really Saying Something), or that DR and Quinch episode with the illegible movie script (Something Something Oranges Something). http://www.artswork.org.uk/something.html - robot obstacle detection: "Something In The Way, She Moves" >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious way the world's headed, you're going to need much more alcohol than that: http://www.ntk.net/2004/03/19/dohbinge.gif ... fyi, Protein - sugar also happens to be *literal* equivalent of them, too: http://www.ntk.net/2004/03/19/dohcarbs.gif ... but c'mon - isn't that the *cutest* "unexpected token" you ever did see?: http://www.ntk.net/2004/03/19/dohcolon.gif ... inappropriate banner ads on spoof stories don't really count: http://www.liquidgeneration.com/rumormill/ipod_killing.html - Times City Diary http://www.ntk.net/2004/03/19/dohipo.gif , please note... abstract illustration department having some difficulties distinguishing between "worm" and "snake": http://www.technewsworld.com/perl/story/33142.html ... >> EVENT QUEUE << GOTOs considered non-harmful For some reason, all the web comics we ever hear about are from the US (Patrick "Spiders/ The Guy I Almost Was" Farley, Tom Tomorrow etc) - but there's a chance to rectify that bias at tomorrow's UK WEB AND MINI-COMIX THING (9am-6pm, Sat 2004- 03-20, Queen Mary College, Stepney, London E1, UKP4, "not suggested for children under the age of 13"). Sticking in East London - but fast-forwarding to *next* weekend - cyber- activism, alternative media, autonomous spaces and "new forms of organisation" shall be the whole of the law at the recursively named WTF: WTF'S THE FUTURE? "open space" event (from 11am, Sat 2004-03-27, 491 Gallery, Leytonstone, London E11, presumably free), in a schedule described as "There'll be an open session, followed by a closed session, followed by open, and then closed, before a small tea break" - proving that, even in a community which defies all social conventions, certain behavioural standards must still be maintained. http://www.ukwebcomixthing.co.uk/ - vs http://www.saturn5.com/~esheep/spiders/ http://wtfcon.org/ - wifi + "foafy-crypto-socio-semantic-typographic-style folk" >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering Following Mr Yozmaster Macromedia Flash's review of DJ mixing for MP3s, JOHN KELLY writes: "For us Linux users, I can recommend TERMINATORX to do something vaguely similar. I've been mixing all sorts of weird and wonderful noises (the violins from 'Plan 9 From Outer Space' with the soundtrack from the C64's 'Commando' producing one of the better results). It's got pretty much everything the Hercules DJ Console does, with a slightly better interface, and the ability to use LADSPA ( http://www.ladspa.org/ ) plugins, opening a world of possibilities. Well, not a world. Maybe a small city." http://www.terminatorx.cx/ - Okay, a rural village. Still good though. http://www.terminatorx.cx/turntable.html - turntable as mouse device. "I grin every time I think about this" http://hydrogen.sourceforge.net/ - "one of the best drum sequencers I've used on any platform" >> MEMEPOOL << contains a source of http://snackspot.org/ (moderately) new thrill - harsh server opinions on our much- loved celebrities: http://www.ntk.net/2004/03/19/dohvaughn.gif http://www.ntk.net/2004/03/19/dohmmc.gif , http://qwer.org/barry.html + solo HTML career not going well: http://www.emmabunton.com/ ... not just model trains plunging into tunnels (scroll down): http://www.gaugemaster.co.uk/noch.html ... "funny" headline: http://www.financeasia.com/articles/06DD9861-F82C-4BFA-96CC2D57EB769A9E.cfm (sigh)... "any firewall created in America" has FBI back door, advise - manufacturers of "only UK built firewall system": http://www.digitalcreativesolutions.co.uk/news.html#artemis3partnership ... http://www.citizencorpse.com/ points to... one of these URLs not afraid to go against public opinion like the others: http://images.google.com/images?q=left+arrow&imgsz=icon ... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> now regarded to have had a similar impact on classical music as Lionel Vinyl's had on the modern MP3 mashup scene, BBC's 2 and 4 pay tribute to THE GENIUS OF MOZART (from 9pm, Fri)... "The Dice Man"-inspired DICE LIFE (6.15pm, Sat, C4) isn't quite the randomly generated dance musical you were hoping for... while BATTLE STATIONS (7.15pm, Sat, C4) will hopefully attribute the F-15's "unbeaten" record to it not having been up against many Su-35s... Heather Locklear - heck, even William Shatner - look so young in TJ HOOKER (2.45pm, Sun, C5), part of Five's retro day that, in the form of the surprisingly competent CHARLIE'S ANGELS (8pm, Sun, C5), reminds you just how long it's been since The Prodigy released "The Fat Of The Land"... and, as we always say, nice touch getting Chef from "South Park" to sing the theme to '70s remake SHAFT (10pm, Sun, C4)... those "Dawson's Creek" kids just can't help running into trouble in the likes of URBAN LEGEND (11pm, Mon, C4) and DISTURBING BEHAVIOUR (11.35pm, Tue, BBC1)... cameras were intriguingly on hand for the Operation Ore arrest of Pete Townshend, reveals POLICE PROTECTING CHILDREN (9pm, Tue, BBC2) ... it's Cadbury vs Nestle in the last in this series of FAT PROFITS (7.30pm, Wed, BBC2)... and reader JOHN "Circlemakers" LUNDBERG *says* his film THE MYTHOLOGIST (10.40pm, Thu, BBC4) is about Nottingham shop assistant turned paranormal investigator "Henry X" - http://www.mythologist.co.uk/ - but frankly we just don't know what to believe any more... FILM>> it's no "Zoolander" - or P2P classic "Heat Vision and Jack" http://www.littlebanana.com/heatscript.htm - but the slightly hit-and-miss Wilson/ Stiller schtick still gets you through semi-reverential 1970s homage STARSKY AND HUTCH ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/starskyandhutch.htm : [Brande Roderick] strips to nudity in front of Stiller and Wilson who ogle at her obviously; [Amy Smart] and [Carmen Elektra]... engage in lesbian kissing; lunacy with a firearm) ... according to this lucid piece of imdb.com trivia, "It is impossible to actually steal a copy of the SATs because there are several versions. Everyone who takes it has different questions or the questions are in a different order" - much to the surprise of tame high-school exam caper THE PERFECT SCORE ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2004/the_perfect_score.html : [Erika "Traffic" Christensen] shows a little bit of cleavage; [Scarlett Johansson] wears a midriff-revealing top)... or there's Costner's unreconstructed pre-apocalyptic Western OPEN RANGE ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/openrange.htm : adult in underwear; even the panes of glass in windows were presented as would glass of the era with waves of varying density due to the gelatinous nature of window glass of the time)... plus what appear to be limited releases for Takeshi Kitano's uninspired samurai-er ZATOICHI (imdb: jidai-geki/ killing/ tap-dance/ based-on-novel)... or Johnny Knoxville muso romp GRAND THEFT PARSONS ( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : Contains drugs references and one use of strong language)... AVAILABLE IN A WIDE RANGE OF BLACK>> and the vanguard of this year's spring NTK t-shirt collection is of course the semi- arcane "Jumper Setting" suggestion of MR NONEMORENEGATIVE (the other shunt positions are marked "Vest" and "Cardi"), currently on sale at http://www.ntkmart.co.uk/ , along with our first ever music-merchandising tie-in, the complete lyrics to MJ HIBBETT's low-tech toe-tapper "Hey Hey 16K" ("We bought it to help with your homework/ And the household accounts/ If your dad ever works it all out", and so forth). Plus there are half-price bargains to be had on the last ever stocks (hot from that exhibition in Sheffield) of the old designs that say "If I Had A Life I Wouldn't Be Here", the complicated "The Internet is like" Google search one, plus "NTK - They Stole Our Revolution, Now We're Stealing It Back"... MJ Hibbett and NoneMoreNegative both get 2 quid for each of their shirts sold, and you could be joining them if you mail in any design suggestions of the general level of obscurity of, say, SIMON WISTOW's slogans "Dorothy Parker would use a Mac", "High Functioning Autist", or his somewhat more graphic "attempt to fan the flames of a nascent anti-social software movement": http://www.thegestalt.org/simon/images/antisocial.gif (does anyone have one of those complicated social network graphs that might illustrate this a bit more effectively?). You can see where JAMES BOYDEN is going with his button-based concepts http://www-personal.usyd.edu.au/~jboy1609/Images/Buttons/css_moral.gif , http://www-personal.usyd.edu.au/~jboy1609/Images/Buttons/i_use_linux.gif - but most other recent submissions have been rather more conceptual, including JONAS BN's "If the world was run by DBAs would we all be related?", LEE MAGUIRE's "An Atari logo with middle 'spike' removed, or altered with lettering in Atari font [to say] MANTITI", plus EDMUND GRIMLEY EVANS' "Do you do a T-shirt that has the ['unscannable'] EURion Constellation"? http://wildspark.com/eurionize/ ... RICHARD GREGORY reported that he saw "a rather clever chap making his own films using virtual actors in FPS games" (aka StrangeCompany.org's Hugh Hancock) trying to play our "Buy One, Subvert The Mass Media, Get One Free" contest on Bravo's GamePad 4, but the only other action there has been NTK's own "Dave Green" sneaking an AD/HD shirt onto page 56 of last month's issue of "The Face" (cover line: "The World's Most Beautiful Woman Meets Fashion's Greatest Maverick"), an incident which appears to have constituted "the final straw" for that particular magazine: http://www.drownedinsound.com/articles/9234.html ... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "ironic rebuttal of the 'time-wasting' claim" http://forums.unfiction.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=3790&start=105 NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe or subscribe at http://lists.ntk.net/ NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntkmart.com/ (K) 2004 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Full license at: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/1.0 Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply. |