"Where Labour leads, others will follow. Every so often some
issue turns into a race between political parties desperate to
give us more of something - dreadnoughts before the first
world war, housing after WW2, why not connectivity and
interactivity for this generation?"
http://media.guardian.co.uk/mediaguardian/story/0,7558,1130925,00.html
- broadband fanatic David Docherty unveils Conservatives'
new "Dialup isn't working" election campaign
>> HARD NEWS <<
choo-choo-choos
It's not looking good for any of the BBC right now - least
of all for its scraggy Internet end. Greg Dyke and Gavyn
Davies were two of the BBC's Secret Masters who got the Net
at least partially. It was Dyke who geed up the Creative
Archive, that theoretical GPLing of times past; it was
Davies who pushed the Directors to consider using the Net as
a serious part of the BBC's public service. Years of careful
tutoring by the quiet tech advocates in the syrupy slow
world of the Beeb - gone. And now that the BBC's hands are
shaking so much they can barely write their new charter, ,
will the corporation really be brave enough to try anything
new or exciting on the Web? And if there are crowing uk
netmedia types rubbing their hands at the idea of a less
invasive BBCi in the online world: you'll be amazed at how
much more damage a rearing, blinded bull in a still small
farm can do. And then, while it thrashes, the nastier beasts
of the jungle slide into your stalls.
http://b3ta.com/board/2688682
- that b3ta coverage in full
http://lists.gllug.org.uk/pipermail/gllug/2004-January/041215.html
- and is there Ogg still, over RTSP?
GOD EMPEROR of WEBSCRAPING MATTHEW SOMERVILLE has announced
that his first class remaking of our appalling national
railway Websites is now in. "It should cope with everything
from misspelt stations, to weird single tickets, to
unorthodox matrix results", writes Matthew, as he steps out
onto the running plate of his new creation, his automated
scripts stoking the copper firebox within. Slip into your
browser, hand your URL ticket to the location bar, shut the
door, and luxuriate in the fine upholstery of Somerville's
site (with its lack of javascript, frames, long unnecessary
pauses and general inaccessibility of the original). Then
buy a ticket from the people who run the dreadful original
sites, we guess. Once again, we reward those who hurt us the
most. Doh!
http://www.dracos.co.uk/railway/timetable/
- wait all year for a new timetable site to arrive...
http://www.newearth.demon.co.uk/rail/odb/odb.htm
- ...then two of them come along at the same time
Our latest self-defeating competition, "Buy A Dumb Domain
and Show .name How Foolish They Are By Paying Them" seems to
be ticking along just fine. Subscriber NICK CROSSLAND took
out "madeup.domain.name", so he can be madeup.email.address
at madeup.domain.name. DAVID BARTON got as far as the credit
card page before balking at "name.name.name". CHRIS SHEA
also stepped away from the vehicle before purchasing
dubya.wanker.name. Suitably inspired, however, he went on to
buy dodgy.name and dubious.name. But we think MARK HEALEY
wins the nominal prize this week, being the proud owner
"dot.dot.name". Now I can be emailed at "dot.dot at
dot.dot.name", he writes, seemingly in morse.
http://www.thisishell.co.uk/cgi-bin/whois.cgi?domain=dot.dot.name
- remember, these are all bona-fide real names, just like .name promised
>> ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
McMURPHY!: http://www.ntk.net/2004/01/30/dohnich.gif ... MS
taking no chances: http://www.ntk.net/2004/01/30/dohrowe.gif
... not having quite as much luck with their HTML-entity
encoding though: http://www.ntk.net/2004/01/23/dohgt.gif ...
nice targeting: http://qwer.org/IETFAntiSpamList.html ... most
illuminating: http://qwer.org/NoMeaning.html ... The Studio
Cut?: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00008FEEA/ ...
return of double-URLtendres: http://www.analternative.org/ ,
www.ChildrenSwear.co.uk , www.cummingfirst.com/organ.html ...
you may need to download Adobe Acrobat to display this 404:
http://www.researchandmarkets.com/reports/37979/37979.pdf ...
Scottish skiers looking forward to next decade's ice age:
http://www.ntk.net/2004/01/30/dohnevis.gif ... exaggerated
marketing claims: http://www.ntk.net/2004/01/30/dohonly.gif -
vs some humility: http://www.ntk.net/2004/01/30/doh1and1.gif
... been putting it off even longer than Adam Hart-Davis
realised?: http://www.ntk.net/2004/01/30/dohinland.gif ...
>> EVENT QUEUE <<
GOTOs considered non-harmful
This year's SCI-FI LONDON FESTIVAL continues to emphasise its
"strictly non-geeky" stance with attractions including flying
turtle tosh "Gamera 2: Attack of Legion", an Anime Allnighter,
plus "Dean Haglund's X-Files Improv" (festival started 10am
today, to this Sunday 2004-01-02, various prices and central
London venues). And their annual DOUGLAS ADAMS MEMORIAL DEBATE
(5pm tomorrow Saturday 2004-01-31, Curzon Soho cinema, UKP6)
will be tackling the thorny question of "How Much Does Sex
Drive Technology?", in the company of bonkers Aussie cyborg
Stelarc, Mark "Black Ice" Bennett, Orlan collaborator Dr
Rachel Armstrong, and NTK's "Dave Green", the latter firmly
on the "Well, not very much when you think about it" side.
http://www.sci-fi-london.com/2004web/programme.htm
- vs http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=clunkies
http://www.ukuug.org/events/winter2004/
- "early bird" deadline today for UK Unix conference in Feb
http://www.codecon.org/2004/
- ditto for CodeCon 2004, from 20th Feb in San Francisco
http://gamesmeet.darkspace.org.uk/cgi-bin/gwi?mode=page&pg=g2k4
- G2K4 Essex bunker LAN party starts 5.30pm tonight
>> TRACKING <<
sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering
PHONEBOOK is an ongoing, alpha-level crypto project that you
pray will carry on past the proof of concept phase, through
the pain barrier onto the stable-enough-to-use level, then
further to the triumphant "strangers write a decent UI for
this craziness" zone. It's Python-and-userfs implementation
of a plausible deniability filing system. In other words, it
lets you create a encrypted directory full of secret files,
protect them with a passphrase, then create another
encrypted directory full of secret-*looking* files,
protected with another passphrase. The two (or more)
directories are stored in the same gibberish-filled data
files. When the bad guys demand that you hand over your
password (and wield rubber-hoses to ensure you do), you give
them the second less-incriminating password. There's no way
to find out there's another *really* secret vault hiding
under that. Phonebook supports multiple layers, all kinds of
chaff, and enough gritty attitude to make this usable for
everyone. One day: for now, expect some kernel meddling and
bug reporting. Or decent UI designing, even.
http://www.freenet.org.nz/python/phonebook/
- so paranoid, you begin to get a bit suspicious
>> MEMEPOOL <<
contains a source of http://snackspot.org/
http://www.breedar.co.uk/news.bbc.co.uk/1/uk_politics/3441181.html
vs http://tinyurl.com/2wcf7 , http://tinyurl.com/3gn5l ...
ironically, now trying to detect very faint traces of past off
old hard drive: http://www.ghoststudy.com/fresh.html ... won't
just be their DVD-Rs with a "purple bottom" if FAST get hold
of: http://www.krammit.com/ ... existential reader reviews:
http://www.gamespot.com/pc/driving/bigrigsotrr/reader_review.html?id=1577516
... the first point to make is - this isn't pyramid selling:
http://www.hyperbrain.me.uk/gadgets/how.htm ... usable URL:
www.doorsdirect.co.uk/acatalog/copy_of_copy_of_copy_of_Pan_Drawers.html
... one of these pics is not safe for work like the others:
http://images.google.com/images?q=vodka ... you know you're
addicted to ebay #1: when you're popping down to the corner
shop to get a pint of milk and catch yourself thinking "I bet
someone's selling it cheaper online"... avoid Pseud's Corner/
Wankometer by sticking "name" and "logo" designerbollocks in
Flash page: http://www.total.com/identite/siteevt/en/ ...
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
get out less
TV>> yes, someone does still make "these sorts of programmes",
confirms C4 with new series of SEX AND THE CITY (10pm, Fri,
C4), NY GRAHAM NORTON (10.35pm, Fri, C4), BANZAI (11.45pm,
Fri, C4) - and a one-off special INVADING IRAQ: HOW BRITAIN
AND AMERICA GOT IT WRONG (7pm, Sat, C4)... the BBC present
their own belated version of C4's "100 Greatest TV Treats Of
2003", aka 2003 TV MOMENTS (9pm, Sat, BBC1)... and Paris
Hilton pops up in a different kind of reality show in THE
SIMPLE LIFE (1pm, Sun, C4)... reader Robert Carnegie showed an
unexpected enthusiasm for debating the limits of hypothetical
omnipotent beings by mailing to say it would be impossible for
Jodie Foster to find a "hidden message" in the digits of pi in
the book version of CONTACT (8pm, Sun, C4) "because even God
cannot make pi other than pi. It's like 1+1=2. It's absolute"
- OK, Robert, but what if everything you've ever perceived
(including this issue of NTK) was a Matrix-style illusion?
What of your mathematical absolutes then?... more practical
philosophical problems underlie Ben Stiller religious comedy
KEEPING THE FAITH (10pm, Sun, BBC2)... and the BBC boldly
schedules Superbowl terrorist thriller BLACK SUNDAY (11.55pm,
Sun, BBC1) against the real SUPERBOWL XXXVIII (11.10pm, Sun,
C5)... Brit X-Files clone SEA OF SOULS (9pm, Mon-Tue, BBC1)
misses the bandwagon by a good few years... Feb 2nd is the
actual date of GROUNDHOG DAY (9pm, Mon, C5)... and pointless
makeover show FAKING IT (9pm, Tue, C4) goes head to head
against FEMA-style scenarios in CRISIS COMMAND: COULD YOU RUN
THE COUNTRY? (9pm, Tue, BBC2)... Google and - in its own way -
the no-less-revolutionary Amplebosom.com trumpet the ecommerce
revival in 8-part docu DOTCOMS BOUNCE BACK (7.30pm, Wed,
BBC2)... while HORIZON (9pm, Thu, BBC2) suggests the advent of
nanotechnology may be closer than you'd think - in other
words, still not very close at all...
FILM>> is it really too much to ask that films about poets
should have them talking in rhyme all the time? - clearly a
missed opportunity in Sylvia Plath/ Ted Hughes tragedy SYLVIA
( http://www.cndb.com/movie.html?title=Sylvia+%282003%29 : In
the first scene [Gwyneth Paltrow] lies on top of a guy as they
have sex and you can see that she is nude. You see part of her
awesomely shaped butt)... Sharon Stone takes on dodgy lodgers
Stephen Dorff and Juliette Lewis down at her COLD CREEK MANOR
( http://www.ahafilm.info/movies/moviereviews.phtml?fid=7537 :
Mild live horse action, including a fake dead horse that
floats in the pool in one scene. One scene of intense snake
action and a simulated death of a snake. One scene appearing
to put a deer in jeopardy)... a bunch of British actors put on
odd American accents in Tim Burton's latest whimsy BIG FISH
( http://www.cndb.com/movie.html?title=Big+Fish+%282003%29 :
[Bevin Kaye] only gets 2 stars because the lighting is never
satisfying and you never see her face)... for real limited-
release arthouse antics, there's always Gus Van Sant's "Dazed
And Columbined" subdued high-school shoot-'em-up ELEPHANT
( www.bbfc.co.uk : Contains strong violence and language)...
or the history-comedy for which we suggested the alternative
titles "Napoleon Complex" and "My Own Private Waterloo" at a
test screening, but they stuck with THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES
( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2002/the_emperor's_new_clothes.html :
We hear [Iam Holm] urinating outside; We see [Iam Holm] wake
up in bed with [Iben "High Fidelity" Hjejle] - both are in
their nightclothes - but there's no indication of whether they
had sex. We later see them in bed together, but again nothing
is happening and there's no indication either way regarding
possible sex)...
CONFECTIONERY THEORY>> with just 72 shopping days left until
Easter, Masterfoods and Terry's and are wasting no time in
unleashing their respective MARS MINI EGGS and CHOCOLATE
ORANGE MINI EGGS SEGSATIONS (both around 99p) - Terry's even
appear to have responded to our 2002 criticisms of their
CHOCOLATE ORANGE EGG & SPOON ("the most sickly thing I have
ever eaten", "disgusting", etc) by writing "Now deliciously
fluffier!" on the front. Nestle's DOUBLE CREAM EGG (39p) has
already received plaudits over at snackspot.org for its
"pieces of roasted cocoa nibs" and "Walnut Whip"-style centre,
but mainly for its innovative plastic-bag packaging, forcing
reader MIKE GRAY to "look elsewhere" for the "RDA of little
bits of silver foil" he'd normally consume after "unwrapping"
Cadbury's Creme Egg classic. And something we plan to do every
year but this time are determined to finally get round to -
next time you buy a bag of "mini eggs", please make a note
of how much you paid for how many eggs, and we'll collate the
results to work out which brands represent the "best buy":
http://www.snackspot.org/thread.php?story=0401141609sbc ...
other New Year novelties have included SPICY THAI SWEET CHICKEN
THE REAL MCCOY'S (approx 45p - merely "a simple rebranding
of the Firecracker Chicken Spicy McCoys", argued MATT), Coca-
Cola's DASANI foray into bottled water ("tastes awful, like
Vittel but even nastier" - "SM") - and, from the very same
company, FANTA APPLE (KIWI AND LIME) SPLASH, described by
DIARMUID MALLON as having "No hint of the kiwi or lime at
all", but nonetheless heralding the arrival in the UK of the
new "mid-calorie" soft drinks craze ("Mid-Coke" coming soon?)
http://www.snackspot.org/thread.php?story=0401201844daa ...
other new products to look out for include Nestle's revived
milk and white chocolate Minstrel-alikes VICE VERSAS (around
40p, collect ones you don't like to swap online with friends:
http://www.snackspot.org/thread.php?story=0401121255sbc ) and
"SHAKE 2 FLAVA" CHICKEN HULA HOOPS, while we're still awaiting
confirmed sightings of both CHUPA CHUPS' CREMOSA sugar-free
lollies, and the Ireland-based test of "lighter in texture"
MARS DELIGHT - despite the fact that Mars offshoots like "The
Positive Food Company" http://www.positivefood.co.uk/faqs.htm
make little mention of their illustrious parent company...
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
Registered at the Post Office as
"a little disappointing"
http://www.livejournal.com/users/malenfant/49768.html
NEED TO KNOW
THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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