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  • NTK 2007
  • NTK 2006
  • NTK 2005
  • NTK 2004
  • NTK 2003
  • NTK 2002
  • NTK 2001
  • NTK 2000
  • NTK 1999
  • 25/12/98
    Holiday Special #8
    Christmas InDin with all the trimmings
  • 18/12/98
    #75
    politic, politics, quake fragfests, politics
  • 11/12/98
    #74
    making a stand, cyberstrikes and proof of a CONSPIRACY
  • 04/12/98
    #73
    Wassenaar, Flavor Flav, Zope!
  • 27/11/98
    #72
    Netscape dies, Cliffilms, Chocolata
  • 20/11/98
    #71
    Phantom Menace, Patches as Art, and Wiki
  • 13/11/98
    #70
    Domains, Ataris, and Tommy Flowers
  • 06/11/98
    #69
    Mark thingy, Christian whatsisname, and Scawen scary name
  • 30/10/98
    #68
    HipCrime, Tron and Halloweeeeen
  • 23/10/98
    #67
    More Tales From The Crypt, Sunbather Falco and Roobarb
  • 16/10/98
    #66
    ADSL, John Prescott, and the Anarchist Bookfair
  • 09/10/98
    #65
    DVD 1 Industry 0, XFM, and Funny Food
  • 02/10/98
    #64
    Sky Digitalis, Clickety-Click
  • 25/09/98
    #63
    Dixons Docks, Orwell Knocks, but Flash gets it clean
  • 18/09/98
    #62
    ISP trust, RISC PC busts, and homeless IT bosses
  • 11/09/98
    #61
    Starr networks, Ya Basta Blasters, token Windows software
  • 04/09/98
    #60
    Explorer runs out of memories, PGP 6, and Pat
  • 28/08/98
    #59
    Whose whois, Gameboy hacking, San Francisco
  • 21/08/98
    Holiday Special #7
    BT Highway Robbery, Bab5 Wrap Party,
    CU Amiga RIP
  • 14/08/98
    Holiday Special #6
    Strange Customs, OpenSource Meet, Victorian Net
  • 07/08/98
    #58
    Microsoft doublethink, Beebisms, Resfest
  • 31/07/98
    #57
    Net myths, Spy cams, and Hartley Hare
  • 24/07/98
    #56
    Beeb Falco, Millions Lost, and Dave "King Stupid" Green
  • 17/07/98
    #55
    Apple booms, DES doomed, DEFCON reaches VI
  • 10/07/98
    #54
    iMacs, Script Kiddies, and Is He Serious?
  • 03/07/98
    #53
    Ireland, Italy, and the End of The World
  • 26/06/98
    #52
    Net censors, Psion, and dead as a SOHO
  • 19/06/98
    #51
    Nominaughtiness, databastardery, and Patrick Moore event
  • 12/06/98
    #50
    BT goes cheap, Doc Solomon goes West, and ICQ goes downmarket
  • 05/06/98
    #49
    No news, street news, sweet news
  • 29/05/98
    #48
    @Home, Ross' Foundation, Power Renames
  • 22/05/98
    #47
    Gateswar!, Open Source flightsim, and a happy birthday
  • 15/05/98
    #46
    MacOS X, Anarchist Studies, and bloody Killer Net
  • 08/05/98
    #45
    Red Buses, Apple iMacs, more Killer Net
  • 01/05/98
    #44
    Crypto policy, IMDB sales, MP3 in your car
  • 24/04/98
    #43
    Falcomania, ICA knobbled, Spacewar!
  • 17/04/98
    #42
    BIB rumours, Intel downturn, and Dougie Coupland
  • 10/04/98
    #41
    RIPE.NET, Microsoft bribes, Richard 'Trek Wars' Barry
  • 03/04/98
    #40
    Demon sales, USENET wars, MOZILLA!
  • 27/03/98
    #39
    JavaOne, Edge Dunderheads, Virtual Turntables
  • 20/03/98
    #38
    LineOne, Scallywag, and Fete de l'Internet
  • 13/03/98
    #37
    Crypto, Technorealists, Crypto-Technorealists
  • 06/03/98
    #36
    Gates and the Senators, IWF takes their PICS, Bull Electronic
  • 27/02/98
    #35
    BIB backtracking, Hacker witch hunts, UKCAC
  • 20/02/98
    #34
    Crypto shenanigans, Alledged Jobs nuttiness, Action SuperCross
  • 13/02/98
    #33
    Key escrow, Tempest spooks, XML
  • 06/02/98
    #32
    Bill flanned, Postel goes postal, mealy MILIA melee
  • 30/01/98
    #31
    Compaq gobble DEC, Bill damage-limits, Time Crisis 2
  • 23/01/98
    #30
    Netscape lose the source,
    CU Amiga "sucks dogs", Pinker speaks!
  • 16/01/98
    #29
    Excite gets kids, Dennis has kittens, Webmedia kicks bucket
  • 09/01/98
    #28
    Microsoft mad, Apple make money, the zine scene
  • NTK 1997
  • HARD NEWS
  • ANTI-NEWS
  • EVENT QUEUE
  • TRACKING
  • MEMEPOOL
  • GEEK MEDIA
  • SMALL PRINT
 _   _ _____ _  __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the UK>
| \ | |_   _| |/ / _ __   ____23/01/98_ o Join! Mail 'subscribe ntknow'
|  \| | | | | ' / | '_ \ / _ \ \ /\ / / o  to majordomo@unfortu.net
| |\  | | | | . \ | | | | (_) \ V  V /  o Website (+ archive) lives at:
|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\|_| |_|\___/ \_/\_/   o     http://www.ntk.net/


         "[It] is not amusing, it's stalking and the kind of bonehead
         behaviour that disfigures the Net."
              - tgreen@cix.co.uk fights back at NTK's Winder-baiting
                                    well, two out of three ain't bad


                               >> HARD NEWS <<
                                   gumshoes

         Trapped in a corner of the doomed browser complex, the
         decimated NETSCAPE troops argue futilely over tactics
         against the spreading Explorer nest. Unable to take it any
         longer, Netscape sales guy FRANK HECKER blurts it out "I
         say we take off and GNU the entire code from orbit!" A
         crazy idea - so crazy that only Hecker and the hardcore
         Linuxen at www.slashdot.org were even considering it. But
         the Netscape board listened - and now they're handing out
         the entire source to Netscape Communicator 5.0 (with
         minimal copyright) to anyone who wants in. From March, if
         you have a C++ compiler, a *very big* compile machine, and
         a few hours to wait for the builds, you too can play
         around, fix bugs, add features, and customise Netscape's
         browser all to hell. The source will be collated and then
         redistributed by Netscape (who will then presumably plug
         all the proprietary code, like Java and RSA stuff, back
         in). And once we've done that, all of us working together
         for the common good, we can climb into these big Gnuscape
         exoskeletons we've built and go kick Gates' ass. Or that's
         the plan. So only question we're left asking is: Is this 
         going to be a standup fight, sir - or just another bughunt?  
         http://www.netscape.com/newsref/pr/newsrelease558.html?cp=nws01flh1
         - In case you haven't been paying attention to current events, 
                                  we just got our asses kicked, pal!
         http://www.openscape.org/
                        - Oh you want some too, do you? Huh? Do you?
         http://people.netscape.com/hecker/
            - he can't make that kind of decision, he's just a grunt
         http://www.gnu.ai.mit.edu/philosophy/free-sw.html
            - Oh, I get it. They're from that "Aliens". And this Gnu thing?
         http://www.slashdot.org/slashdot.cgi?mode=article&artnum=499
                    - they had the skinny; they wear the scoop crown

         NEW SCOTLAND YARD's Vice Squad made another well-researched
         foray into Net legislation with the successful prosecution
         of a Net porn site owner under the Obscene Publications Act
         at Preston Crown Court. Well, successful in the sense that
         the man pleaded guilty and may well go to prison. Slightly
         less successful was the spin taken by Superintendent Martin
         Jauch, who, according to the police press release, claimed
         the result showed "a hypertext link on the Internet
         constitutes a publication for the purposes of the Obscene
         Publications Act." That's to say, if you *point* to a page
         that is viewed as obscene, you *yourself* are publishing
         it. Yahoo and AltaVista should expect the knock on the door
         any minute now. Footnote: At a conference a year ago, Mr
         Jauch said that he was not an expert on the Net, but that
         this did not matter in enforcing the law.
         http://www.ntk.net/hyperlinks/ - the press release
         http://www.teleport.com/~room101/badthing/police.htm
                                                - an inexpert writes

         At last, someone's found a way to make money out of Net
         publishing. When former AMIGA POWER staffers Stuart
         Campbell and Jonathan Nash stuck their "AP2" tribute page
         online, they must have worried that it would be of little
         interest (or comprehensibility) to non-readers (or non-
         staff) of the deceased Future Publishing mag. Thrillingly,
         they then discovered their entire site - an estimated
         200,000 words - on the cover CD of the current issue of
         EMAP's CU AMIGA magazine, still containing both their
         copyright symbols and the unusual claim that "CU Amiga
         sucks dogs' cocks in hell". Hurry if you want a copy, as
         the authors believe they may be able to: a) sue EMAP for
         two person-years of writer's salaries; and b) get CU Amiga
         injuncted off the shelves. Uberfreelancer Campbell sounds
         more than capable - only this week, he apparently came
         within 14 hours of "sending the bailiffs round" to the
         offices of Edge for late payment on a game review.
         http://www.cu-amiga.co.uk/cucd/index.html
             - whatever happened to that Amiga public domain spirit?
         http://prim1.aqcom.com/ap2/comments/footnotes/good_news.html
         - yes, piracy is *wrong* (well, when it's companies doing it)

         In other news, blah blah blah Microsoft blah blah
         Department of Justice blah blah blah settlement. Blah blah
         Microsoft will remove browser from Windows 95 installation
         CD-ROMs after they said it was blah blah [EXPLETIVE
         DELETED] impossible. Blah blah spokesman said rest of case
         blah blah unchanged. Microsoft continued to claim blah
         Special Master Lessig blah blah caught dancing in ladies
         garments blah blah tattoo of Marc Andreessen underneath
         blah blah possible impeachment.
         http://www.theonion.com/onion3302/index3302.html
         - better jokes at the Onion, as ever:
         MICROSOFT SIGNS JUSTICE ATTORNEY TO $350 M ENDORSEMENT DEAL


                               >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         Microsoft to buy BT rumour "bollocks"... Birt says "BBC
         will strive to bring the benefits of the new technologies
         to every home in the land"... same day, beeb.com sends 5
         copies of spam to all subscribers... Wired 6.2 raves about
         Wit Capital Corp, turns out Wired Ventures part-own it...
         same week, wired.com spams ad for Wit to all its
         subscribers... at last, a techno mix of Bittersweet
         Symphony... whatever happened to FLAMINGO, VNU's answer to
         "Stuff" magazine?... new US TV game show will feature
         "opening CD wrappers, jumping over puddles" as contests...
         www.rant.co.uk gone "biweekly"... Future Publishing being
         sold - FUTURENET looking shaky?... STARSHIP TROOPERS spin-
         off single due Feb, features Sarah Brightman... DRUDGE
         fights claims he is illiterate gossip-monger who got lucky,
         says "I have an incredible level of credibility"...


                              >> EVENT QUEUE <<
                 there's more to outside than the newsagents

         The gene for DNA-hacking gets *fully* expressed at the ICA
         tomorrow (24/1/98), when straight-down-the-line Darwinians
         Helena Cronin and Lee Silver (the geneticist who, in an
         unguarded moment, told the NY Times that "all of science
         fiction is true") battle it out with sceptical Steven and
         Hilary Rose (no relation), and disabled campaigner Tom
         Shakespeare. Steven "Language Instinct" Pinker will also be
         speaking, presumably in a creole of his own devising. The niche
         they fight for is called EVOLUTION REVOLUTION, and tickets are
         available from the ICA box office at 0171 930 3647.
         www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/subst/excerpts/dab/0195120353.html
                                    - my meme's nicer than your meme
         http://www.redpepper.org.uk/xcronin.html
                                   - my meme can beat your meme easy
         http://www.redpepper.org.uk/xrose.html
                        - yeah? well your meme wears nazi army boots

         Although their own site denies it (citing "turmoil in European
         legislation"), we firmly believe next week to be that of the
         AMUSEMENT TRADES EXHIBITION INTERNATIONAL at Earls Court,
         London, 27-29/01/98 - a world of not just arcade coin-ops and
         "cabinets", but also "dark rides", "pushers", "cranes" and
         "redemption" (which means machines with tickets that you swap
         for prizes, rather than the Christian concept of deliverance
         from the bondage of sin). It coincides - perhaps too
         conveniently - with the LONDON PARKS & ATTRACTIONS trade event
         next door - featuring "all aspects of park attractions and
         major rides." Fountains? Slides? Rollercoasters? Benches?
         http://www.eco.co.uk/cgi-bin/ecosearch/events.conf?1-98
             - then it's the British International Toy & Hobby Fair!
         http://medoc.ipl.co.uk/abe/newprod.html
                     - Starship Troopers pinball: want to know more?

         Viva Zapatista (again)! Viva Cyberliberties (again)!
         Supporters of those redoubtable postmodern Mexican freedom-
         fighters (or are they poststructuralist terrorists? Perhaps
         we shall never truly know) are launching a "Zapatista
         Netstrike" on the 29/01/98 at 4.00pm GMT. The plan is to
         stage a virtual "sit-in" of a number of prominent mexican
         Websites - all,  they state, "simbols of the mexican
         neoliberalism". Protesters should enter the URLs provided,
         then repeatedly press the reload button at the appointed
         time to make their point felt. Hmm. Call us neoliberal
         lackeys, but we can't help thinking there are less labour-
         intensive denial of service attacks than this...
         http://www.dada.it/stranet/news/
                                 - why didn't the IRA think of this?
         www.eco.utexas.edu/Homepages/faculty/Cleaver/zapsincyber.html
          - we explained who they were months ago: do try to keep up


                                >> TRACKING <<
                               pings for things

         Big update to MacOS 8.0 kicking around on Apple's site. No
         big features to speak of (you were all dying for the DVD
         support, weren't you?), but worth getting as it does one of
         those "intangible speed-up" tricks. Biggest gain is on a
         Java virtual machine that is both faster and more ... shall
         we say, working than the last one. Also packaged is
         Navigator 4 and, embarrassingly, Internet Explorer 3.
         http://www.apple.com/macos/macos8.1/
          - NO, there's NO BLOODY SOURCE. STOP ASKING THAT.

         A little bit of Tracking backlog to clear following last
         week's unpleasant Windernacht - super-generous Ben Thompson
         sent his fellow NTK subscribers a Christmas gift which we,
         typically, forgot to pass on. It's a small applet that he
         says is "designed for those people in your life who cannot
         use the address bar or bookmark a page or think that the
         IE4 Channels is the world's greatest invention." I think
         you know who he means. And similarly useful tool for those
         "umm... I know haven't spoken to you for 5 years, weird
         geek acquaintance, but can you fix this?" moments is QNX, a
         windowing Web browser/mini-realtime UNIXish OS that boots
         off one floppy and should allow you to at least dial-in to
         look up technical info from an otherwise broken machine.
         Been around for yonks, but we kept forgetting. Sorry.
         http://www.hadida.com/start/               happy Christmas!
         http://www.qnx.com/                    it *is* cool, though


                                >> MEMEPOOL <<
                              hasta la altavista

         Rich Branson to appear in FRIENDS? ... Chen Tao - upcoming
         HEAVEN'S GATE copycats?... THUNDERBIRDS movie to star
         Kristin Scott Thomas... winner of LOEBNER prize gives his
         thoughts: www.fringeware.com/~robitron/ALTALK.TXT ... best
         title in SCIENCE for months: "Migrating Planets" ...
         http://www.movioke.com ... who's the biggest sinner? BOB
         HOPE http://balaams-ass.com/journal/warnings/bobhope.htm or
         CHRISTA MCAULIFFE www.trosch.org/for/7j05/7oct05.htm ? ....
         from Spain: a "LADY DI" commemorative macro virus... the
         Linux PDA: www.mauve.demon.co.uk/tortoise.html ... RUGRATS
         movie... HITCH-HIKER'S GUIDE movie agaain... QUAKE dolls:
         www.cybermodels.co.uk ... are you bigger than ELVIS?
         www.mcs.net/~jorn/html/finder/elvis.html ... AMERICAN
         PSYCHO movie exec produced by REM's Michael Stipe... that
         Whitehouse aide? Sources say it was a BJ...


                               >> GEEK MEDIA <<
                                 video, feeds

         TV>> chuckle to another frantically farcical FRASIER (10pm,
         Fri, C4), then what looks like the spitting image of
         playboy Web designer Matt Jones in the title role of YOUNG
         EINSTEIN (1.30am, Fri, LWT + some regions)... Dani Behr's
         ICE WARRIORS (6.15pm, Sat, ITV) struggle to out-daft
         Gladiators, and hopefully, following last week's Blind Date
         revelations, will have one called Cosmo The Infiltrator...
         if it follows the usual pattern (see current Q Magazine),
         the voting for the MUSIC OF THE MILLENNIUM (6.30pm, Sat &
         7.55pm, Mon-Thu, C4) will actually be unusually skewed
         towards the music of the last six months... it sounds
         promising, but KNIGHTRIDER 2000 (4.15pm, Sun, LWT only)
         eventually ditches the KITT Tranz-Am, David Hasselhof *and*
         the single mothers on which he invariably preyed, clearing
         the road for US-only sequel series Team Knight Rider...
         could the ancients really have written the books of Erich
         von Daniken?, inquires great-looking sci-fi nonsense
         STARGATE (7.10pm, Sun, BBC1)... RADICAL HIGHS (7.15pm, Mon,
         BBC2) confirms it's maybe just a not-so-radical reworking
         of They Who Dare, with a still-welcome look at illegal BASE
         jumping... tragically, among the now-unmade episodes of
         SEINFELD (11.15pm, Tue, BBC2) were plans for "The Surprise
         Claymation Episode" and "The 3-Inch Kramer"... with one
         called "In Dino Veritas", SLIDERS (6.45pm, Wed, BBC2) slips
         further into a universe of dull movie rip-offs and terrible
         episode titles... and they say that the "3" in ROBOCOP 3
         (10.40pm, ITV, Thu) isn't an indication of it being the
         third in the series - but merely a mark out of 10...

         FILM>> At last! It's Aliens and The Abyss done as a period
         costume teenage love story! It's, quite literally, TITANIC
         (MPAA rated: PG-13 for "disaster related peril and
         violence, nudity, sensuality and brief language")... let's
         face it, if Alex "Repo Man" Cox can't even be trusted to
         host that BBC2 movie slot nowadays, who on earth let him
         loose on Rebecca De "cod" Mornay's bizarre Vegas gamble THE
         WINNER (imdb: crime / thriller / comedy)?... botched Irish
         crime thriller I WENT DOWN (imdb: Ireland / UK) has to be
         funnier than John Godber's UP AND UNDER (imdb: comedy /
         rugby), if only because the former *doesn't* have Neil
         Morrissey, Samantha Janus, Tony Slattery, Griff Rhys Jones,
         and that fat bloke off 2.4 Children... the guy who did Jean
         de Florette and Manon Des Sources (and, er, Germinal)
         agonises over meaningful WW2 drama LUCIE AUBRAC (imdb:
         French)... and romantic-comedy curiosity of the week:
         Russell "LA Confidential" Crowe and Salma "Mrs Robert
         Rodriguez" Hayek are the *only characters* in the vignettes
         and monologues that make up BREAKING UP (MPAA rated: R for
         "language and sexuality")...

         FEEDING>> it's an *egg fight* out there! CADBURY'S has
         hastened the release of its Easter range, with the
         traditional CREME EGG (in full size and compact formats -
         www.cremeegg.co.uk), the foully over-chocolatey VELVET EGG
         (even the name's disgusting), and of course their excellent
         MINI EGGS, which, after the Astros debacle, are still the
         Cad's only successful foray into the sugar-coated solid-
         choc market... of course, that territory rightly belongs to
         NESTLE'S SMARTIES, who, for the first time, have hit back
         with their own MINI EGGS, in both GIANT SMARTIES and MILKY
         BAR variants, implying that the words "Mini" and "Egg" are
         so generic that they cannot be registered as trademarks. In
         case that's true, NTK has registered minieggs.co.uk and
         will sell it to the highest bidder - in eggs!... missing
         the point a little, MARKS AND SPENCERS have created an
         edible TAMAGOTCHI choccy egg (packaging shows the
         nyorotchi, ginjirotchi and kuchipatchi that you may find -
         and eat - inside)... plus, last we checked, they're still
         dumping post-Xmas stocks of their edible TRIVAL PURSUIT and
         POP QUIZ board games... elsewhere in confectioning, the
         major turf war fought with the soggy biscuits of the
         unfortunately named OSCAR SPUNKMEYER versus flapjack
         newcomers THE FABULOUS BAKIN' BOYS hots up with the news
         that Kentucky Fried Chicken get their muffins from an
         operation rejoicing in the name of FRANK BRADY'S
         INGESTIBLES... back with savouries, M&S patron saint ST
         MICHAEL gazed enviously upon WAITROSE's ingenious PIZZA
         WRAP (soft base, grill for 3-4 mins, available in cheese &
         tomato or cheese & smoked bacon), then miraculously created
         his own PIZZA METRO (stonebaked, oven cook 8-10 mins,
         available in mozzarella & tomato or the frankly surreal
         potato, bacon & onion). Pizza Wrap still has the edge,
         despite Pizza Metro boasting this intriguing warning:
         "IMPORTANT: A CHARACTERISTIC OF THIS PRODUCT IS ITS
         IRREGULARITY. THIS DOES NOT AFFECT ITS EATING QUALITY."
         Bon appetit!


                              >> SMALL PRINT <<

      Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
        happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
      on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
    nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
         It is registered at the Post Office as "art wank bonehead".

                                 NEED TO KNOW
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  • HARD NEWS
  • ANTI-NEWS
  • EVENT QUEUE
  • TRACKING
  • MEMEPOOL
  • GEEK MEDIA
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