"I feared women the way lots of people fear the Windows
operating system. (But Apple products) are easy to use and
people are empowered by this..."
http://money.cnn.com/2005/01/26/technology/personaltech/apple_fans/
...ah, Windows - she is a mistress of pain.
And the "pleasure" that pain sometimes brings...
>> HARD NEWS <<
mmm, petits filous
Everyone else likes to worry about Google's gathering
conflict of interests, but Verisign's S.P.E.C.T.R.E.-level
skills still take some beating. This week, orbiting crypto
analysts Ian Grigg and Adam Shostock belatedly pointed out
to ICANN that perhaps Verisign couldn't trusted with
.net. Why? Well, Verisign these days offers both top level
domains and SSL certificate authentication. They also, with
their NetDiscovery service - sell ISPs a complete service for
complying with law enforcement surveillance orders. So, if an
American court demands an ISP wiretap its customers, and the
ISP turns that order over to Verisign to do the dirty: well,
Verisign can now fake any domain you want, and issue any
temporary fake certificate, allowing even SSLed
communications to be monitored. What's even more fun is that
they are - at least in the US - now moving into providing
infrastructure for mobile telephony. Yes, NOT EVEN YOUR
RINGTONES ARE SAFE.
http://forum.icann.org/lists/net-rfp-verisign/msg00008.html
- you know, this is probably a little late
http://iang.org/ssl/
- but then, this is the year of the snail
http://www.thefeature.com/article?articleid=101334&ref=5459267
- stupid network vs stupider company
Seems like yesterday when the anti-software-patents movement
was being slighted for their confrontational approach.
Impudent letters to MEPs? Railroading national parliaments
to condemn their own commissioner's railroading of the patent
directive? Real, live, protests in Brussels? These are not
the subtle negotiations of which the EU is enamoured. It
worked though: against all the odds, the software patent
process was hard-reset this week. Now it all starts again:
and with groups like the FFII, for better or worse, taken
much more seriously this time. Plus, it looks like Microsoft
has taken a leaf from the free software protesters' book.
Rather than simply lie down and take the EU's forced
unbundling of Windows and its media player, Microsoft have
cheekily named their new, legal, software "Windows XP:
Reduced Media Edition". We're thinking "Windows XP: Suck My
Pastel-Coloured Balls, Euroweenies" might have been mildly
more confrontational, but only just. And wll it work? Angry
citizens are one thing; petulant, sulking, multinationals are
distinctly less ennobling.
http://www.xenoclast.org/free-sklyarov-uk/2005-February/006042.html
- lobby your MEP to sort out their position (unless Green or UKIP)
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2003/06/29/open_source_prepares_to_kiss/
- who's kissing whose ass goodbye now?
>> EVENT QUEUE <<
GOTOs considered non-harmful
If you were tasked to come up with online equivalents of the
12 mythical labours of Hercules, where would you start?
Perhaps with contesting THE NETIMPERATIVE BEST DIGITAL MEDIA
BLOG AWARD, whose closing date, we are assured, is now next
Monday 2005-02-07, and whose entry fee (for the blog category
at least) has now been waived - yet you must still capture the
site's fearsome "PDF of Adobe" (and print it off and mail it
to them) in order to be accepted within their hallowed walls.
Similar tales of informational heroism shall echo round the
campfire at THE OPEN KNOWLEDGE FORUM ON CIVIC INFORMATION
(from 7pm, Thu after next 2005-02-17, Stanhope Centre, London
W2 2HH, free), as bare-chested PHP-warriors Tom Steinberg,
Francis Irving and Stefan Magdalinski recount their battles
wrestling the golden chalice of local and national government
data from the secretive high priesthood of Hansard. And, just
to top it all, you probably won't have to tie yourself to a
rock to endure the national tour of THE TWELVE TASKS OF
HERCULES TERRACE (from next Tue 2005-02-08, Riverside Studios,
London W6 9RL, tickets from UKP9, venues around the country
from Feb 24) - a similarly contemporary take on the ancient
legend from the fertile mind of Rich "Lee And" Herring who, it
must be said, has shown considerable dedication to the actor's
craft in "bulking up" for the role.
http://www.netimperative.com/awards/
- no, we're not sure what a "digital media" blog is either
http://www.okfn.org/wiki/OpenKnowledgeForums
- we don't normally link to wiki pages, but what the heck
http://www.richardherring.com/hercules/gigs/
- yes, tying yourself to a rock was someone else, we know
http://www.deadmansboots.co.uk/
- dancing to the rhythms of the dead, in London on Mondays
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/kate.darby/page8.html
- another "Club Le Strange", London, next Thu
http://www.ukuug.org/events/winter2005/
- UKUUG winter conference in Birmingham at end of the month
>> ANTI-MEMES <<
there's smoke, flames, http://dohthehumanity.com/
an alarming return for "one of these is not like the others":
http://images.google.com/images?q=%22ainsley+harriot%22
(cached at http://xcom2002.com/doh/?s=05020416pic - along with
the very latest in stupid Amazon mis-recommendation tricks:
http://xcom2002.com/doh/?s=05020415eco )... hard to work out
what "3D-like" means in "High-definition gives incredible, 3D-
like pictures and surround" - other than "not 3-dimensional":
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/4210551.stm ... inevitably, EU online
consultation on eAccessibility - not very "eAccessible"
itself: http://lists.virus.org/ukcrypto-0501/msg00049.html ,
http://europa.eu.int/yourvoice/forms/dispatch?form=369 ...
all-video-game-themed puerile Google misspellings, all the
time: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22games+consul%22 ,
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22price+of+persia%22 ,
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22motal+kombat%22 , and
http://google.com/search?q=%22cannon+fooder%22 ... Happy
Computers is "Great Place To Work (R)" - for disclaimer
lawyers: http://www.happy.co.uk/greatplace/#greatplace ...
>> TRACKING <<
sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering
SUPERWABA! Superwaba! Soo-per. Wab-ah. Why is it that the
Brazilians always come up with the most mellifluous project
names? Superwaba is a mildy cut-down java compiler and class
library that can spit out native-code, cross-platform apps
for Palms, WindowsCE, desktop machines - and now, with
version 5.0, Symbian phones. It's for people who can't quite
bring themselves to use J2ME and its policy of "ooh I don't
think a little mobily thing like you should be trying big
boy work like that do you?". This version also marks a
change in their business model, which involves commercial
folk paying a license for a LGPL'd version. Free peoples can
use the GPLd SuperWaba for free just fine. You can tell this
has something to do with business models and commercial
respectability, because the new corporate-looking website is
unnavigable, and tells you nothing about the software. Ah
well, there's always the Wiki.
http://www.superwaba.com.br/etc/SuperWaba.pdf
- or the README PDF
http://www.superwaba.com.br/
- uh-oh, strong relationships
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
get out less
TV>> disappointingly, THE FRIDAY NIGHT PROJECT (10pm, Fri, C4)
appears to be an "11 O'Clock Show" format from the makers of
"Dot.Comedy" rather than the eagerly-awaited TV debut of The
London Friday News Review Project Thing, or whatever they call
themselves nowadays... the all-new CSI: NY (9.05pm, Sat, C5)
faces off against Farrelly brothers/ Jack Black/ Gwyneth
Paltrow post-PC fat-suit feelgooder SHALLOW HAL (9.05pm, Sat,
C4)... inexplicably shunting comparatively coherent Oliver
Stone sporting movie ANY GIVEN SUNDAY to the PVR-wasteland
slot of 12.40am, Sat, C5... Jimmy Carr can surely not ignore
the Hasselhoff body of work if they do a "Worst of" roundup as
a break from THE 100 GREATEST POP VIDEOS (8pm, Sun, C4)... for
some reason, the suspension of disbelief just doesn't seem to
work in these extended 30-min editions of LOOK AROUND YOU
(10pm, Mon, BBC2) ... and the "Storyville" documentary strand
visits a Nokia sweatshop/ factory in MADE IN CHINA (9pm, Tue,
BBC4)... both Kurt "Slaughterhouse Five" Vonnegut and Stewart
"Jerry Springer: The Opera" Lee appear in THE CULTURE SHOW
(7pm and 11.20pm, Thu, C4) - though probably not at the same
time... THE GADGET SHOW (7.30pm, next Fri, C5) pits Google
"against some academics" - in a similar fashion to, a quick
Google reveals, that Guardian article from a few months ago:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/online/news/0,12597,1210455,00.html
... while NTK's "Dave Green" maintains that his cameo is
"heavily disguised" - if it even appears at all - in Charlie
Brooker/ Chris Morris TVGoHome spinoff NATHAN BARLEY (10pm,
next Fri, C4) - http://www.trashbat.co.ck/ ...
FILM>> the stars are back in the coolest heist caper ever -
but enough about next week's SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: THE MOVIE
( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/spongebobsquarepants04.htm :
Patrick portraying sadomasochism; best friends SpongeBob and
Patrick were the only ones in the show to flash bare
backsides; two other characters [...] were noted gleefully
rubbing their posteriors together but at least they were
clothed)... the gag about one of the actors playing themselves
is possibly the only original bit in extended David Holmes
video/ modern-day "Pink Panther" retread OCEAN'S TWELVE (imdb:
rome/ heist/ amsterdam/ sequel/ criminal-gang/ thief/ sequel-
to-remake/ train)... otherwise half-term is traditionally
commemorated by a load of talking animals - oh and adolescent
"my dad's the President" wish fulfilment frolic FIRST DAUGHTER
( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2004/first_daughter.html :
We see [Katie "Dawson's Creek" Holmes] in some sexy-looking
pajamas; We see [her] in small shorts, a low-cut top that
shows cleavage, high-heeled boots and a blonde wig. After
drinking too much, she gets up on a bar's runway and starts
doing some sexy dance moves)...
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
Registered at the Post Office as
"Nathan Barley's *personal* lampshade, if you don't mind"
http://www.livejournal.com/users/internetsdairy/4504.html
NEED TO KNOW
THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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