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  • NTK 2007
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  • NTK 1999
  • 25/12/98
    Holiday Special #8
    Christmas InDin with all the trimmings
  • 18/12/98
    #75
    politic, politics, quake fragfests, politics
  • 11/12/98
    #74
    making a stand, cyberstrikes and proof of a CONSPIRACY
  • 04/12/98
    #73
    Wassenaar, Flavor Flav, Zope!
  • 27/11/98
    #72
    Netscape dies, Cliffilms, Chocolata
  • 20/11/98
    #71
    Phantom Menace, Patches as Art, and Wiki
  • 13/11/98
    #70
    Domains, Ataris, and Tommy Flowers
  • 06/11/98
    #69
    Mark thingy, Christian whatsisname, and Scawen scary name
  • 30/10/98
    #68
    HipCrime, Tron and Halloweeeeen
  • 23/10/98
    #67
    More Tales From The Crypt, Sunbather Falco and Roobarb
  • 16/10/98
    #66
    ADSL, John Prescott, and the Anarchist Bookfair
  • 09/10/98
    #65
    DVD 1 Industry 0, XFM, and Funny Food
  • 02/10/98
    #64
    Sky Digitalis, Clickety-Click
  • 25/09/98
    #63
    Dixons Docks, Orwell Knocks, but Flash gets it clean
  • 18/09/98
    #62
    ISP trust, RISC PC busts, and homeless IT bosses
  • 11/09/98
    #61
    Starr networks, Ya Basta Blasters, token Windows software
  • 04/09/98
    #60
    Explorer runs out of memories, PGP 6, and Pat
  • 28/08/98
    #59
    Whose whois, Gameboy hacking, San Francisco
  • 21/08/98
    Holiday Special #7
    BT Highway Robbery, Bab5 Wrap Party,
    CU Amiga RIP
  • 14/08/98
    Holiday Special #6
    Strange Customs, OpenSource Meet, Victorian Net
  • 07/08/98
    #58
    Microsoft doublethink, Beebisms, Resfest
  • 31/07/98
    #57
    Net myths, Spy cams, and Hartley Hare
  • 24/07/98
    #56
    Beeb Falco, Millions Lost, and Dave "King Stupid" Green
  • 17/07/98
    #55
    Apple booms, DES doomed, DEFCON reaches VI
  • 10/07/98
    #54
    iMacs, Script Kiddies, and Is He Serious?
  • 03/07/98
    #53
    Ireland, Italy, and the End of The World
  • 26/06/98
    #52
    Net censors, Psion, and dead as a SOHO
  • 19/06/98
    #51
    Nominaughtiness, databastardery, and Patrick Moore event
  • 12/06/98
    #50
    BT goes cheap, Doc Solomon goes West, and ICQ goes downmarket
  • 05/06/98
    #49
    No news, street news, sweet news
  • 29/05/98
    #48
    @Home, Ross' Foundation, Power Renames
  • 22/05/98
    #47
    Gateswar!, Open Source flightsim, and a happy birthday
  • 15/05/98
    #46
    MacOS X, Anarchist Studies, and bloody Killer Net
  • 08/05/98
    #45
    Red Buses, Apple iMacs, more Killer Net
  • 01/05/98
    #44
    Crypto policy, IMDB sales, MP3 in your car
  • 24/04/98
    #43
    Falcomania, ICA knobbled, Spacewar!
  • 17/04/98
    #42
    BIB rumours, Intel downturn, and Dougie Coupland
  • 10/04/98
    #41
    RIPE.NET, Microsoft bribes, Richard 'Trek Wars' Barry
  • 03/04/98
    #40
    Demon sales, USENET wars, MOZILLA!
  • 27/03/98
    #39
    JavaOne, Edge Dunderheads, Virtual Turntables
  • 20/03/98
    #38
    LineOne, Scallywag, and Fete de l'Internet
  • 13/03/98
    #37
    Crypto, Technorealists, Crypto-Technorealists
  • 06/03/98
    #36
    Gates and the Senators, IWF takes their PICS, Bull Electronic
  • 27/02/98
    #35
    BIB backtracking, Hacker witch hunts, UKCAC
  • 20/02/98
    #34
    Crypto shenanigans, Alledged Jobs nuttiness, Action SuperCross
  • 13/02/98
    #33
    Key escrow, Tempest spooks, XML
  • 06/02/98
    #32
    Bill flanned, Postel goes postal, mealy MILIA melee
  • 30/01/98
    #31
    Compaq gobble DEC, Bill damage-limits, Time Crisis 2
  • 23/01/98
    #30
    Netscape lose the source,
    CU Amiga "sucks dogs", Pinker speaks!
  • 16/01/98
    #29
    Excite gets kids, Dennis has kittens, Webmedia kicks bucket
  • 09/01/98
    #28
    Microsoft mad, Apple make money, the zine scene
  • NTK 1997
  • HARD NEWS
  • ANTI-NEWS
  • EVENT QUEUE
  • TRACKING
  • MEMEPOOL
  • GEEK MEDIA
  • SMALL PRINT

 
 _   _ _____ _  __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the UK>
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|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\|_| |_|\___/ \_/\_/   o     http://www.ntk.net/


         SHIMOMURA: --Mitnick is saying, "fuck you!" Fuck you to the
         WELL.  Fuck you to electronic democracy, or whatever you
         call it.  Fuck you to privacy.  Fuck you to the law-- Agent
         Carson, what are the statutes on receiving stolen property?
         Because it seems pretty fucking clear to me that that's what
         we're dealing with here--

               GILMORE RISES AND HEADS TOWARD SHIMOMURA. BARLOW
               THROWS HIMSELF IN BETWEEN THE TWO MEN.  ANDREW PUSHES
               HIM AWAY.  GILMORE AND SHIMOMURA ARE FACE TO FACE,
               INCHES APART.

                               - extract from Miramax script TAKEDOWN
                               http://www.kevinmitnick.com/review.html
         ...so I take it you won't be joining our blue ribbon campaign? 


                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                                  G's and Q's
         
         Mac users celebrated APPLE's increasing ability to suck
         money off them this week, as the company revealed profits of
         62UKP million for the last quarter. Gross margins were up,
         thanks to the elimination of all those unnecessary
         clone-makers, and inventory problems eliminated by 
         selling just three ingeniously demarcated product lines: the G3
         laptop, the G3 server, or the G3 desktop. But the "any model
         I want, as long as it's Mac" brigade haven't got *just*
         themselves to thank for the company's return to healthy,
         quasi-monopolist form. As vital on the balance sheet was
         British Acorn remnants ARM, whose IPO earlier this year
         handed co-founders Apple a cool 20UKP million. All those
         Archimedes owners will be *so* pleased.
         http://www.apple.com/
         http://www.acorn.com/
         http://www.arm.com/                       fruit and nut cases 
         http://www.microsoft.com/        *cough* $1.36 billion *cough*
         
         A young - but slightly unbelievable - couple choose to leave
         the innocence of a virginal relationship and allow everyone
         on the Net to watch them as they attempt to screw one
         another for the first time. Yes, REAL NETWORKS and their
         minority shareholders MICROSOFT, ostensibly partners but
         frankly gagging for a punch-up, finally let the fists fly
         with Real's official beta release of G2, their new
         RealAudio, RealVideo, RealPix, RealKitchenSink streaming
         system. As from now, Microsoft's currently piss-poor Netshow
         will not be compatible with streamed Real content. Nor will
         Microsoft support SMIL, the newly proclaimed standard for
         synchronising these kinds of multimedia hijinx. They say
         that's because it's "unnecessary". Unnecessarily compatible
         with G2 - which does support it.
         http://www.real.com/ 
         - G2, G3 : are those brandname consultants on strike or something?
         http://www.ourfirsttime.com/
         - not the same people as http://www.ourfirstanalsex.com, it seems

         Distributed computing. "Hive minds". Network effect. Pah.
         Everyone knows that money buys you real power around here,
         even if no-one expected the eminently decentralised JOHN
         GILMORE to prove the point. With 250,000UKP and a nifty
         piece of dedicated parallel hardware, he snapped the back of
         the latest code-cracking DES challenge in an embarrassing
         two and half days - hardly time for his chief rivals,
         distributed.net, to get their latest key-crunching client
         out the door to their thousands of volunteers. 
  http://www.nytimes.com/library/tech/98/07/biztech/articles/17encrypt.html
                                   - now to set it on Shimomura's ASS
         http://www.distributed.net/
                                  - bunch of time-wasters, as it were
         http://www.cygnus.com/~gnu/
                                - routing around the whole damn thing

        
                                >> ANTI-NEWS << 
                             berating the obvious

         .NET magazine wants ten of its readers to test their
         personalities online - optimistic in oh so many ways... 
         ... MARKS AND SPENCERS may sell Microsoft products - looking
         forward to that "no questions asked" return policy... FRANCE
         rails against US cultural imperialism, plays STAR WARS theme
         at World Cup Final - how imperial can you get? ... POINTCAST
         IPO "postponed"... Giant 'Z' in sky was meteor, not return
         of 2000AD's ZENITH ... SOUTHERN COMFORT run "Southerners
         have their own rules" ad during showing of DELIVERANCE...
         www.bedepot.com runs on Windows NT... Cameo, the Electoral
         Roll database [NTK 19/06/98] "rethinking" site after
         around 3,000 free trial requests per day... artists at
         http://www.triggerhappy.org describe own work as "a folly...
         self-defeating... meaningless"... URL for Lycos Spain?
         http://www.es.lycos.de/ of course!


                               >> EVENT QUEUE << 
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         It's all far-flung, far-future farragos this week.  If
         you're quick, you might be able to book a flight to Las
         Vegas for DEFCON VI, the incrementally calm rating for the
         exponentially riotous annual hackers' convention. Sights to
         see during the 31/7/98 weekend will include GSM hacking, the
         setting off of hotel fire extinguishers, Lorenzo "infowar"
         Valeri, teenagers getting arrested for curfew, Bruce
         "counterpane" Schneier, disoriented would-be screenwriters,
         Se7en's notes on social engineering airlines and hotels
         (vital for DC7) and the release of the Cult of the Dead
         Cow's new remote Windows administration tool, Back Orifice.
         We'll have to leave you guessing just how remote that
         administration can be...
         http://www.defcon.org/                       comprehensive
         http://www.counterpane.com/                  legitimate
         http://www.cultdeadcow.com/                  moo

         It should be slightly easier to pursuade your boss to pay
         for your ticket to PERL CONFERENCE 2.0, which is oooh, yonks
         away (16/10/98-20/10/98) and in San Jose to boot. We don't
         really have to say why you should be going (Larry Wall?
         Netscape keynote? "Guru-is-in" tutorials? A chance to talk
         entirely in regexps?), we just thought it was time to remind
         you.
         http://conference.perl.com/                   CPAN live!

         
                                >> TRACKING <<
                              no ftp, no comment
         
         Netscape 4.5 is a whole half better than Netscape 4, and
         includes lots of mildly useful, slightly desparate attempts
         to up the Netscape Website hits by redirecting keyword
         searches to the site, and a new "find related links"
         feature. First reactions are that these capabilities are
         intrinsically evil; closer inspection shows some neat
         configuration possibilities (so you can pick your own related
         site server - even tie it into Altavista). IMAP's noticeably
         better, and the mail client looks a bit less
         slapped-together, but the really cool extras to let you
         remotely access your bookmarks, address book and calendar
         are yet to come. We'd say wait. For about two days, then
         capitulate to your craving and download it anyway.
         ftp://ftp.netscape.com/pub/communicator/4.5/4.5_PR1/english/
                            - is this another bloody Godzilla tie-in?
         
         They always say, don't they, that what Linux really needs is
         a few decent games - and what better place to plunder than
         the past works of David Braben. Taking its title from the
         impressive-at-the-time 1989 Archimedes original, ZARCH is a
         sort of cross between Lander and a 3d version of Defender.
         Almost exactly as you remember it - and twice as
         disappointing - this was one of the only reasons the
         nation's school computers ever got used.  We're still
         waiting for XFrak though...
         http://www.nerdnet.nl/~thom/software.html 
            - Not really a virus, but since it's a binary we can't 
                                                      say for sure...
         

                                >> MEMEPOOL << 
                              hasta la altavista

         Things We Can't Tell You, I: which Website provider was
         raided after the attempted IRA London bombing... Leave
         Robert Denby *alone* ... where were you when you first heard
         about the Challenger explosion movie?... Somerfield take
         over Kwik-Save  ... Bianca's Smut Shack bought by - Zapata?
         ... Dummy Cow! http://www.gencor.ca/imv/dummy_cow/ ...
         http://www.unrealnation.com/crackhouse/catscan.html ...
         Things We Can't Tell You, II: crash the NT Executive, win
         valuable passwords ... subliminal Bill: Starship Troopers
         "United Citizen Federation" single, track 2, 1:03secs,  ...
         who wants to write the Linux Martyr HOWTO?... laughing at
         Amazon Sales Rankings... Clan Light Lunch? ... now what are
         we going to do with all these Northern Ireland/Orange phone
         gags?  ... US readers! Watch PBS for once in your lives for
         the eye-opening PLANE CRAZY with Robert X. Cringely - 22/07/98!
         

                               >> GEEK MEDIA << 
                      may contain strongly-typed language

         TV>> we're pleased to announce that sports coverage has been
         suspended due to over-running of quirky B-movies: John
         Hughes auditions Macaulay Culkin in similar, superior Home
         Alone prequel UNCLE BUCK (8pm, Fri, BBC1)...  Robert Powell
         traps the inspiration for Ghostbusters' Slimer in
         paranormally good '70s Brit-schlock, THE ASPHYX (12.55am,
         Fri, BBC1)...  Jonathan Ross lays waste to "so bad they're
         good" myth with hideous overdose of GODZILLA DAY (11am-10pm,
         Sat, Sky Movies Gold)... and the line "Objection, your
         honouAAAARRRGGHH!!" does not appear in THE TRIAL OF THE
         INCREDIBLE HULK (3.15pm, Sat, some ITV), though it does have
         visually-challenged superhero Daredevil and "Slider" John
         Rhys-Davies...  Neil Morrissey inexplicably returns in a
         whole bloody series of THE VANISHING MAN (7.45pm, Sat, ITV),
         just after Carrey vs Cox in the always-remarkable ACE
         VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE (6.15pm, Sat, ITV)... yup, MIAMI
         RHAPSODY (9pm, Sat, C4) is a bit like Woody Allen lite - or
         a very good sitcom episode... and Frank Black strives to
         find anyone who cares about a new run of MILLENNIUM
         (10.30pm, Sat, ITV)... a season of Stephen King's famously
         unfilmable fables starts with DOLORES CLAIBORNE (10pm, Sun,
         C4)... though more nudity, less coherence in TWIN PEAKS:
         FIRE WALK WITH ME (11.45pm, Sun, BBC2)... sadly, it doesn't
         seem to be former page 3 model Gail McKenna among Terry
         Nutkins' BRILLIANT CREATURES (4.50pm, Mon, ITV)...  but it
         is oafish Bob Mills hosting new trivia panel game NOT A LOT
         OF PEOPLE KNOW THAT (11pm, Mon, BBC1)... not just another
         example of the BBC ripping off American titles for their own
         shows - WEIRD SCIENCE (12.05am, Mon, BBC1) is genuinely a
         spin-off from the 1985 John Hughes movie... Mad About You
         retread LOVED BY YOU (8.30pm, Tue, ITV) returns with a VR
         episode... Stephen Jay Gould believes Stephen King's THE
         TOMMYKNOCKERS (10pm, Tue, C4) to be the best evolutionary
         allegory ever... Clarkson and co battle a nightmarish Mad
         Max flooded-Earth future in TOP GEAR WATERWORLD (8.30pm,
         Thu, BBC2)... and let's raise a glass to unsubtle product
         placement in three-part carbonated retrospective THE
         COCA-COLA CONQUEST (11.55pm, Thu, C4), "tracing the history
         of the soft drink, and its lifelong competition with rival
         Pepsi" (The Radio Times)...

         FILM>> au contraire, GODZILLA (imdb: action / sci-fi /
         godzilla / giant-monster) appears to be entirely in the
         spirit of the originals, in that it's largely rubbish. But
         c'mon, who really expects monster movies to make sense
         now?... sub-aqua kiddie fun resurfaces after 9 years in the
         form of THE LITTLE MERMAID (imdb: animation / children's /
         musical / romance / sea / underwater / little-mermaid /
         ocean / family / disney-animated-feature / comedy) - but of
         course the search term you're looking for is really +"little
         mermaid" +"obvious penis"... and to commemorate the launch
         of MicroSoft's sinister purple robot child-minder ("Clean
         Up! Clean Up! Everybody do their share!"), sing along with
         BARNEY'S GREAT ADVENTURE (imdb: children's / family /
         dinosaur) - though, despite the implicit suggestion of the
         title, the film does *not* depict Barney's first sexual
         experience...

         PRO-CELEBRITY FEEBDACK>> thanks to all who wrote in with
         eye-witness sightings and tastings of Callipo Shots and
         Winner Tacos [NTK 03/07/98], especially Connected columnist
         MICHAEL BYWATER for his mouth-watering depiction of the
         "magnificently chundrous" Winner Taco - "the heavy
         insulating wafer clamshell protecting the tradition Walls'
         pigfat-style icecream from unsightly heat-exchange
         phase-shift, sealed at its lip with thick and somehow
         unconvincing chocolate". Michael generously describes NTK as
         "the best-written publication in Britain" - coming from the
         man who invented Starship Titanic's "Pulsating Inconvenience
         from the Planet Sprod", high praise indeed!... sticking with
         self-indulgence, tubby cyber-subscriber BRUCE STERLING
         queried our gag that his 'Triple Xtra Large' feature in the
         new Wired "strangely omits himself": "The heck you say; my
         Triple Xtra Large self is not only on the cover, it's inside
         a little monorail... it's even packing on the pounds in Le
         Jules Verne... You should get up from the keyboard and eat
         something." Cheers for the tip Bruce, but we're comfy eating
         where we are... this reader's URL
         http://ourworld.darq.net/p.hampton-forbes/ revived fears
         that NTK "may be attracting the wrong element"... and
         "Funny. Very funny. Hilarious." writes bedroom techno
         boffin, Q Magazine demo compo winner, and former Doom
         champion, DAVID MCCANDLESS, no doubt referring to the fact
         that instead of giving "a plug" to his site
         http://www.wakeywakey.com, we inadvertently registered the
         address http://i.am/a.gaylord, pointed it at his page, then
         printed that URL instead [NTK 10/07/98]. NTK regrets the
         error...


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
       It is registered at the Post Office as "too bloody distributed".


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  • HARD NEWS
  • ANTI-NEWS
  • EVENT QUEUE
  • TRACKING
  • MEMEPOOL
  • GEEK MEDIA
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