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- AOL UK's new campaign slogan
...and future Daily Mail "Net-child-molesters" headline?
>> HARD NEWS <<
your right to choose
"And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't
for you darn kids!" Well, that wasn't *quite* what DTI
mandarin NIGEL HICKSON said when he explained the non-
appearance of that government statement on crypto this week
- but it's what he meant. An announcement was due, he said
at the ICX conference on Thursday, but was delayed - thanks
to "completely wrong announcements on the Internet". Weird.
Surely it would be better to announce it *quicker*, in
order to scotch those scurrilous reports? And wasn't it
strange that those incorrect tittle-tattlers got the timing
of the proposed statement exactly right - as Nigel admitted
- even as the DTI were denying it even existed? Never mind.
The delay allowed several civil liberty organisations to
prepare statements and various news outlets - who would
have been taken off-guard by a unannounced statement - to
get fully up to speed with the issues. Oh, and it also let
a few nasty, scurrilous gossipmongers realise that there
*is* something individuals can do about wrongheaded
government initiatives before they get cast in stone.
- and that goes for your darn mutt, too!
STEVE JOBS, the man behind "insanely great", is again
trying the adverb and the adjective bits the other way
around. APPLE sources have him in a boardroom brawl with
prospective CEO, Jim Cannavino. Cannavino turned up
Wednesday at 1 Infinite Loop to discuss contract terms,
meet Larry Ellison and the guys - maybe a game of pool?
Instead, he found himself slugging it out with Jobs, who
wanted to stay on at Apple for a year, getting paid a
nominal $1 wage (presumably to go with the one Apple share
he now owns), but calling most of the shots. Cannavino
baulked; Jobs told him to walk. Shouting continued within
the boardroom as Jim did just that. Meanwhile, in the world
of the grown-ups, multimedia developers are getting
increasingly touchy as Apple puts a hold on QuickTime
licensing. They're scared that Apple may start demanding
hefty royalties for use of the technology. Well, they've
got to find that dollar a year from somewhere.
- have you tried looking under the sofas?
- so, what did your last CEO die of?
ISPA - the non-political, non-partisan INTERNET SERVICE
PROVIDERS ASSOCIATION, popped out an interesting press
release this week. In it, they condemned as "distasteful"
and "offensive" a Princess Diana car racing game, in which
you have to avoid motorcycles and cones, while speeding
through a dark tunnel. The ISPA - which purports to speak
for the service provider industry, and is funded by your 10
quids a month - reassured journalists that the site was
hosted in Germany, so there was nothing they could do about
it, but they said they were working hard to stamp out this
sort of thing with help from the Internet Watch
Foundation's plans for a global rating system. A rating
system, incidentally, that is rumoured to be the subject of
the British government's next pronouncement on Net
liberties. Oh, and they provided the URL, which they
requested should not be publicised further. Well, we did
plug it in memewatch two weeks ago, but if you insist...
- wait until they find www.dianabear.com ...
>> ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
MICROSOFT "moving away" from ActiveX... THE TIMES picture
desk uses a hotmail account... GCHQ jobs' e-mail is
firstname.lastname@example.org... POLICE OFFICERS chat up
17-year-old girl online: lawyer describes cops as "very
vulnerable element of society"... WWW.CAPITALISM.ORG's
defence of Microsoft doesn't display properly in Explorer
4.0... lame E-CHRISTMAS site only sold 500 items... Too
many venture capitalists spend too much money in Silicon
Valley, uncovers shocked ESTHER DYSON... "Online News
Readership on the Rise" - says INTERNETNEWS.COM ... GRAND
THEFT AUTO banned in Brazil... MICROSOFT tests ingenious
new data broadcast system in US: also known as teletext...
UN Peace Plan "may end in failure" - reveals CEEFAX...
>> EVENT QUEUE <<
goto's considered non-harmful
We may not know much about art at NTK, but we do know we
don't like it. Except, perhaps, this. It's a performance
that claims to be modelled on the OSI seven layer model of
art. It includes extracts from the Physical, Network,
Session and Application layers of the TCP/IP protocol
stack. It will take place at the ICA bar and CB1 cybercafe
in Cambridge on Monday 23/2/98, at 2000GMT. There will , we
genuinely lead to believe, source code readings afterwards.
We are speechless.
- still an absolutely appalling site. Some kind of statement?
There's still tickets for BRUCE STERLING and BRIAN ALDISS,
the twin big-gobbed Gods of Sci-Fi theory,as they talk at
the Purcell Rooms, dans la South Bank Centre en 24/2/98.
SARAH LEFANU will be trying to get a word in edgeways. Show
starts at 7.30PM. Tickets are 6UKP. Oh, and this is a
serious cultural event, so don't come dressed as the
Artificial Kid or something.
- goodness. A venue Website you can actually use.
Situations (Pretty) Vacant: it's coming up to the Easter
hols, and you've got a choice: that cushy, lucrative work-
experience job with that nice corporate IT department, or a
few days on the very barricades of the Digital bastille,
scrabbling over a hot Webserver, spitting at your crazed
compadres as they struggle to unjam their sarcastic
flamethrower, snorting technical manuals, spewing pure
code, laughing in the face of the "traditional" technology
press and trading sexual favours with Linux-mad programmers
of whatever gender your heart desires. Yes, there's not
much money involved, but NTK (and its shadowy sugar-daddy,
Virgin Net) are nonetheless LOOKING FOR INTERNS. Work in
London's seedy Soho! Meet influential New Media bosses!
Insult them in public! Could you take what its got? E-mail
us now on email@example.com with CV and a fifty word
explanation as to why this is in no way a career-limiting
move. Frankly, we're kind of curious ourselves.
>> TRACKING <<
look what the mouse dragged in
There was a time when home-made shareware games had a
chance. But after years of installing DOS app after DOS app
from scratched cover-mounted CDs that fell off our Jabba-
sized Ziff-Davis magazines, we somehow lost interest. Which
is a shame, because we otherwise might have spotted ACTION
SUPERCROSS a little earlier. A monstrous, yet 1.4MB hybrid
of Evil Knieval and Thrust for the BBC Model B, it's the
program your mates talked about writing at school, but
never did, never could and never will. Kudos to NTK tipster
Goat Boy, who spotted it after reading a thread on
rec.games.programmer, which started with a Bullfrog
programmer hailing it the best program he'd seen for ages,
and ended with a ninety-post flamewar arguing about how
programmer Csaba Rozsa did it.
- "all it lacks is the Peter Purvis commentary" - GB
http://www.pik.com/ much faster download site
ALL SAINTS are paying bigtime for uncleared samples on
their album, THE VERVE lost the publishing rights to
Bittersweet Symphony and therefore can't stop it being used
on ads (or techno remixes) - so it's good to see media
terrorists RTMARK turning this massive legal bug into a
feature. Their new album, DECONSTRUCTING BECK, is a
collection of "brilliant but allegedly illegal" resamplings
of that universally reviled corporate rock whore, Beck
Hansen, which they've put out under the slogan "using
artwork illegally helps to fight the stranglehold that
corporations have on our lives". Right on - and we're sure
The Verve and All Saints would agree. The (only mildly
unlistenable) CD is not available in stores, but their site
also details other anti-corporate activism, including their
hilarious sponsorship of "New York Welcomes Saddam Hussein"
banners, plus a vegan-friendly US$5000 reward for anyone
who can "find and administer a substance to a great number
of cattle that will make their beef unfit for consumption".
British ingenuity triumphs once again!
- I'm a loser baby; so why don't you sue me?
>> MEMEPOOL <<
hasta la altavista
http://members.aol.com/Jesus316/index.htm ... NATWEST using
NT in new cash-machine network: free money... forget
quantum transistors - here's the TRANSCAPACITOR:
http://americancomputer.com/Transcap.htm ...New BATGIRL
Adventures Comic implies Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are,
ah, more than friends ... www.appletshirts.com ... VOYAGER
1 overtakes Pioneer 10 as furthest man-made object - it's
like Wacky Races out there... Tamagotchi for Playstation...
They're remaking CITY OF ANGELS? Nooooo ...
www.woodcutter.com ... http://shockrave.macromedia.com ....
CARL STEADMAN returns to Suck!
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
what's killing the radio star these days
TV>> remote-control beardie weirdies twitch uncontrollably
through bizarre routines to occasional comic effect. But
that's enough about IS IT BILL BAILEY? (11.15pm, Fri, BBC2)
- because ROBOT WARS (6.25pm, Fri, BBC2) promises to be
more disappointing than even the presence of Jeremy
Clarkson and Philippa Forrester would normally indicate...
AN AWFULLY BIG ADVENTURE (6pm, Sat, BBC2) features fans
talkin' about JRR Tolkien - some in genuine Elvish... the
profile/ interview of SCENE BY SCENE WITH STEVE MARTIN
(9pm, Sat, BBC2) is ingeniously followed by two of his
dullest films: Grand Canyon and LA Story... 2-part drama
HEAVEN ON EARTH (9pm, Sun, BBC1) depicts a Witness/ Waco-
style religious cult populated by ex-cast members of cop
shows: Neil Pearson from Between The Lines, Penhaligon from
Cracker... THE ENTERTAINMENT BIZ (9.30pm, Sun, BBC2) laughs
at stand-up comedians, something which interviewee Donna
McPhail must know about from having been on the same bill
as them... the night-long Ethan Hawke/ Julie Delpy romance
in BEFORE SUNRISE (10pm, Sun, C4) isn't actually filmed
real-time - it just seems that way... at last: a fly-on-
the-wall docu about a workplace you *don't* see every day,
when THE WAR MACHINE (9pm, Mon, C4) goes hilariously behind
the scenes with weapons-inventing nutters at the UK's
Defence Evaluation and Research Agency... looking at
previous guests, it shouldn't be too hard to work out why
the obsessives on FOR THE LOVE OF (11.55pm, Mon, C4)
"chose" a life of celibacy... Hitchcock parody HIGH ANXIETY
(11.45pm, Tue, C4) could be Mel Brooks' most sophisticated
spoof to date - for what that's worth... former Marmalade
Atkins Charlotte Coleman (also in Oranges Are Not The Only
Fruit) reappears in non-citrus-themed Men-Behaving-Rurally
sitcom HOW DO YOU WANT ME? (10pm, Tue, BBC2)... MODERN
TIMES (9pm, Wed, BBC2) makes a film about the making of a
film about the shooting of Gianni Versace... and, as
predicted, REBOOT (4.45pm, Thu, ITV) skips to season 3
episode 2 to avoid that notorious Evil Dead chainsaw bit...
FILM>> a triple treat for fans of movies named after
professions, with THE BUTCHER BOY (imdb: comedy / horror /
drama / 1960s) serving up surreal trash-culture horror from
Neil "The Crying Game" Jordan, including another starring
role for Stephen Rea, and - in a stylistic nod to Father
Ted - Sinead O'Connor as The Virgin Mary... THE BOXER
(imdb: drama) re-teams In The Name Of The Father director
with Daniel Day-Lewis, in a Troubles romance-weepie that,
surprisingly, is nothing like the Simon & Garfunkel song of
the same name... and finally, Kev Costner puts the "post"
back into "post-apocalyptic" in his cheesily overlong
Dances-With-Waterworld hybrid THE POSTMAN (imdb: action /
sci-fi / adventure / thriller / based-on-novel / drama /
futuristic / post-apocalyptic)... PRISONER OF THE MOUNTAINS
(imdb: war / drama) is the best of the subtitled former-
Soviet rebellion hostage-swappers - based on a story by
Tolstoy originally optioned 150 years ago... and the
touching teen female friendship in ALL OVER ME (imdb:
lesbian) completes this month's cycle of faintly homoerotic
films with titles based around prepositions (see also In
And Out, Up And Under)...
GAMES>> top-rated Japanese PlayStation racer GRAN TURISMO
(sadly, nothing to do with grandmas) isn't due out here
till May, but will run "between 15 and 30% faster" than the
import. It'll also get a new soundtrack with usual suspects
Ash, Garbage and a - now-obligatory - Chemical Brothers
remix of the Manic Street Preachers. "I believe that this
will be the first game ever to have a full, 12/13 track
soundtrack with all music recorded by 'actual' music
bands," chortles what seems to be an internal company memo,
"as opposed to a track by Prodigy, a track by Orbital, and
ten by company musicians"... till then, why not deck it out
the Station's quirky new beat-em-up trend: genuinely
shocking pseudo-Victorian Goth Raider NIGHTMARE CREATURES
and/or Monkey-Magic-inspired subtitled Samurai slasher
BUSHIDO BLADE - hwiyahhhhh!... and of course don't bother
with RESIDENT EVIL DIRECTOR'S CUT when RE2 is just round
the next shadowy corner... the N64's revving up its own
nice but dull driving games in the form of CRUIS'N USA
(which wasn't even a good coin-op) and TOP GEAR RALLY,
which - inexplicably - is co-sponsoring London Fashion
Week... over on the PC, disgruntled coder Derek Smart
(great name!) is releasing the complete version of
BATTLECRUISER 3000AD v1.01D7C into the public domain
(previously published by famed quality-merchants Take 2) -
a move which we (naturally) applaud, though wonder if it's
unrelated to reviews like "I have never, ever, in 17 years
of computer gaming, seen a game that hated being played the
way this one does" and "It will go down in legend as the
most bug-ridden, unstable, unplayable pieces of software
ever released" - www.gamespot.com ... thus the scene is set
for the battle of the great battle- games, with demos now
available of Activision's reworked 3D arcade classic
BATTLEZONE - www.activision.com/games/strategy/battlezone/
. It's got new weapons, new Command-And-Conquer-style
strategy mode (bring on DUNE 2000!), but we bet it's not as
good as the freeware BZ demo on the SGI, which lets you add
unlimited new guns, unfair advantages etc - because they
give you the source!
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
It is registered at the Post Office as "messenger of the gods".
( http://www.heaven.affection.net )
NEED TO KNOW
THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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